Morons Guide to Oxymorons SOPHOCLES: “Short Saying Often Contains Much Wisdom ”
V As told by Oxy to Barry J. Lipson 1
Preface To Volume 3 of 3 (O-Z) “Howdy Dowdy diddle um-day,1” folks I’m Oxy, not Peter, Paul & Mary’s playful little Leatherwing Bat, but a Sharp (OXY) & Dull (MORON) bovine eater of hay, and slurpper (not author) of all chewy concepts that have a devilish tang of contradiction, conflict, inconsistency, incongruity, irony, ‘Double Entendre’ &/or opinion. Indeed “Oxymora” are mighty magnets for dastardly disagreements, words & phrases with internal/external contradictions! But beware, I find, the mightier the quip, the tastier the slurp! As my bully scribe, the self-professed aspiring Smith of Words, Barry, the Jay of the Lipson clan, has written in his “OxyMorons, Ho! Ho!” (http://www.scribd.com/doc/34834908/OxyMorons-Ho-Ho-by-BarryJ-Lipson-A-Corplaw-Commentary):
“I have always liked the word ‘oxymoron,’ a word which according to Webster could describe ‘the results of the combination of oxygen and stupidity;’ or a ‘man endowed by his Creator with emasculated bovine feeblemindedness;’ or ‘the combining of contradictory or incongruous words.’ Stated otherwise, an ‘oxymoron’ is "the product of an oxygen crazed bovinic moron's combination of words,’ or, more succinctly, ‘feebleminded hot air.’ ‘Military Intelligence,’ in popular punning parlance, is considered to be a prime example of an oxymoron. Another prime example would be ‘Jumbo Shrimp’ [what of “Jambalied Shrimp”?].” Perchance you noted from my cover photo that to vary my diet of words & vegetation, I also slurp the occasional hamburger. “Please don’t be shocked!” It is not like you eating “long pig.” I eat only HAMburgers, not BEEFburgers or OXburgers, or so I believe, though your euphemizing of “long pig” does give me a moment’s pause. Does the English language make me an unintentional cannibal? No! My intent is just to figuratively sharply & dully “cannibalize” English by slurping in & spitting out prime tasty tidbits, at times chewed down, paraphrased and/or edited for fit, flow or flabbergastation, for: "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it [Dr. Who]?” This Guide contains an extensive listing of the Oxymorons, Double Entendres, One-Liners & SUCH, slurped up by me over the years. As up to date as “Slurpee Summit” and “Toxic Assets;” as classically classy as “Military Intelligence;” as misguided as “Mission Accomplished;” and as “Double Entendrey” as “Killer Pussy.” And now we’re “Fashionably Oxymoronic?” I dare say,
oxymorons & such contain wisdom to ruminate on, and to live, laugh and cry by! Thus, there are such as Isaac Bashevis Singer's universal revelation: "We must believe in free will, we have no choice." Clara Barton's realization: "I can distinctly remember forgetting that." Woody Allen's retrospective: "The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small." And then Sarah Palin: "'Refudiate,2’ ‘misunderestimate,' 'wee-wee'd up.' English is a living language,” she states correctly, “Shakespeare liked to coin new words too [but intentionally]. Gotta celebrate it!'" Now, now, I, Oxy, do not stand hostage for the quality, obviousness, quip-free nature or actual scholarly classifications of the listed items. That’s yours to chew through and muddle over. Some may be shown here to “showcase” others and/or for “completeness.” Enjoy! And please forgive any imbalances in oxymorons with sexual or worldly innuendos. But, unlike you and my scribe, as a eunuchized Ox, not provided with a harem to guard and/or udders to suck and chat up, I know little of such matters. Perhaps, that is why I find words, instead of cows, so TITillating, so sexy . . . . Butt enough “B.S.” (or is that O.S.?)! Let’s sink our teeth into this moronic meat loaf and get to the jugular of the matter, so all of my vain slurping shall not have been in, or miss the, vein! Now onward to explore Volume 3 of 3 `(O-Z)…… From Peter, Paul and Mary’s “Leatherwing Bat,” whose "500 Miles" has been identified as being taken from an old Rosh Hashanah “Areshes Sifaseinu … Litvish niggun,” [Lithuanian Jews religious “humming tune”], "an oxymoron.” 2 Palin’s Refudiate: Oxford American Dictionary's Word of the Year for 2010 – So, yes, you can still coin new words! 2 1
Moron’s Guide to Oxymorons
O O Fie, Miss, You Must Not Kiss & Tell [William Congreve, Love For Love 1695] Oahu Oos* Oats, In England Are For Horses, ‘But In Scotland Supports The People’ [Samuel Johnson] Obama A Charma Obama Is Not Bush, Thank God; Nor Franklin Or Jefferson, Too Bad! Obama Droned On! Obama Glowingly Reported On A New Digital Camera That ‘Filmed Everything’ Obama Rhymes With Osama, That Sutra Kama? [Birther Logic] Obama Sealed Osama’s Fate Obama Tour Bus Made in Canada – If Real American ‘Would’ve Been Made In China’ [Conan] Obamacare, A Right Step To The Left Towards Universal Health Care Obamacare Held Unconstitutional! - - - - - - - - NOT! [CNN] Obama's Shuck & Jive Shtick With These Benghazi Lies Must End [Sarah Palin] Obama’s The Bain Of Romney’s Existence, A Capital Thought! Obama's Uncle When Arrested For Drunk Driving Blamed It On Busch Obedient Defiance Obama Is An Agent Of America [Arab Spring Poster] Obama Earned 2nd Term; Romney, In Whatever Guise, Does Not Deserve A 1st [Salt Lake Trib] Obama Earned Another Term, ‘Too Many Mitts’ [Salt Lake Tribune] Obama: Governor Wants To Import 1980s Foreign, 1950s Social & 1920s Economic Policies Obama: Governor, 'We Also Have Fewer Horses & Bayonets' Than In 1916 [But More Subs] Obama O'Bombed Obama Will Be ‘Coming Out Soon! ... Out On Stage. Calm Down, People’ [Patrick Harris] Obama’s Not Bush, Thank God!; Obama’s Not Franklin Or Jefferson, Too Bad! 3
Obedient Defiance Obesity Is Really Widespread [Joseph O. Kern II] Obesogenic Environment Promotes Obesity & Weight Gain, Such As Cheese Cake Factory Obit Read: She Was Scared Half To Death Twice! Obituary Notice Analysis Shows Mean & Unimportant People Never Die Object Accidentally Dropped Will Hide Under Larger Object Or Elsewhere Out Of Sight Object!, His Au Pair Said, To You Giving That Object To An Object Of Your Desire Not Me Object In Motion Is Headed In Wrong Direction, Object At Rest Is In Wrong Place Object Is Non-Objectively Objectionable Object Of Affection Did Not Object To Being Giving The Affected Object Object Will Fall So As To Do The Most Damage Objection Sustained Objective Morality Objective News Reporting Objective Opinion Objective Parent Objective Rating Objects Will Fall So As To Do The Most Damage Obnoxiously Happy Obscene Art Obstacles Are Frightful Things You See When You Take Your Eyes Off Goal [Henry Ford] Obstacles Are Often Stepping Stones To Success Obstructed View Obvious Secret Obviously Hidden Obviously, There Is Little You Can Learn From Doing Nothing [Zig Ziglar] Occam's Electric Razor: Hardest Bulb To Replace Burns Out The Most Occam's Razor [William Of Ockham 1285-1349] Occam's Razor: ‘If You Don't Agree With Me I'll Cut You With A Razor I'll Cut You’ [Colbert] Occam’s Razor Perchance Envisions Shaving Off Top Layer Of Parchment To Clean For Reuse Occam’s Razor: Political Institutions Appearing Untrustworthy Are Untrustworthy Occult Cult Occupied Space Occupied Wall Street Occupy Wall Street Ockham's Razor [William Of Ockham 1285-1349] Occasional Wives Occidental Wives Ocean Shore Octomom [Nadya Suleman] Odd For Attorneys Not To Have ‘I’ll Get Even Lists’ Odd His Odd Name Is Never Mentioned Though He's An Odd One, He's The Odd Man Out! Odd, If Bunch Of Odds & Ends Declines To One, What Do You Call What's Left? Odd Man Out! Odd Similarities Odd You Said That, You’ll See It In The Moron’s Guide! 4
Oddish Oafish Modish Lummox Oddly Appropriate Oddly Familiar Oddly Natural Odds Are Even Odds Are I Was Wrong, Not Everyone Else, But I Didn't See How That Could Be Odds Get Even Odds Get Even Now; Your Odds Get Even Now [Victory Pill] Odds Get Even, Now’s Time To Bet! Odds Get Even, Takeover Legislature! Odds Get Even: The Day The Odd Numbers Went On Strike [Pamela Hall] Odds Must Get Even Lower Odds Of Being Hit By A Meteor Are Astronomical Odiferous Natural Gas Odiferous Salt Pork & Weevily Hardtack Odorless Natural Gas Odorless Smell Of All Cautions, Caution In Love Is Perhaps Most Fatal To True Happiness [Bertrand Russell] Of All Pains, The Greatest Pain, Is To Love, & To Love In Vain [George Granville] Of All Parts Of Wisdom The Practice Is The Best Of All The Gin Joints, In All The Towns, In All The World, She Walks Into Mine [Casablanca] Of All The Things I've Lost, I Miss My Mind The Most [Ozzy Osbourne] Of All The Things You Wear, Your Expression Is The Most Important Of Course I Can Keep Secrets, It's Those I Tell Them To Who Can't Keep Them [Haden-Guest] Of Course I Know The Law - I've Spent My Entire Life In Its Flagrant Disregard! [Judge Bean] Of Course There’s No Reason For It, It’s Just Our Policy Of Soup & Love, The First Is Best [Spanish Proverb] Of Two Equal Explanations, All Else Being Equal, The Simpler One Is To Be Preferred Off My Case, Toilet-Face! [Sweathog Vinnie Barbarino] Off The Bench Off The Record Off With His Head! [For Bringing Cook Tulip-Roots Instead Of Onions - Lewis Carroll] Offbeat Monotone Singer Broke Into Song When He Couldn’t Find The Key Offensive Defense Offensive Diplomat Office Park Office Party Office Suite Office With Many Workers & Few Outlets Has Power Struggle Officer Of The Court Officer With Map Is Most Dangerous Thing In Combat Zone Official Corruption Official Truths Are Often Powerful Illusions [John Pilger] Officials Consider Bridge Suicide [UPI] Officials Must Be Reminded They Are Appointed Not Anointed Offset 5
Often It Is Fatal To Live Too Long [Racine] Often Wanted To Drown My Troubles, But Can't Get My Wife To Go Swimming [Pres. Carter] Ogooglebar - Swedish For ‘Ungoogleable’ - Use Of Which Word Google Objects To Oh’ Brilliant [NOT] Oh, By The Way Conveys The Misconception 'This Is Not Very Important' Oh, By The Way Really Means 'This Is The Primary Purpose Of Our Discussion' Oh, Fiddle! - It's Time For Violin Lessons Oh, God, The Man In The Boat Is Out [American Pie Presents: The Book Of Love] Oh, Listen To My Tale Of - Whoa! Any Ice Today Lady? No. Gitty-Up! Oh Lord, Give Me Patience & GIVE IT TO ME NOW! Oh, Sure She Looks Great In Uniform, But Take It Off & She’s Wearing Nothing [M*A*S*H] Oh, The Cow Kicked Nelly In The Belly In The Barn & The Doctor Said It Would Do No Harm Oh The Places You'll Go! There Are Games To Be Won. [Dr. Seuss] Oh The Places You'll Go! There Are Points To Be Scored. [Dr. Seuss] Oh The Places You'll Go! There Is Fun To Be Done! [Dr. Seuss] Oh, The Things You Can Find If You Don't Stay Behind! [Dr. Seuss] Oh, The Thinks You Can Think! [Dr. Seuss] Oh, The Wayward Wind Is A Restless Wind ['Wayward Wind'] Oh, To Get That Wonderful Feeling Of Accomplishment Without Accomplishing Anything Oh What A Tangled Web They Weave When They Think Their Kids Naïve [Ogden Nash] Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practice To Deceive! [Sir Walter Scott] Oh Yeah, Honey, We're All Lesbians When The Right Man Isn't Around Oil & Water Don't Mix Oil & Water Don't Mix, BP Please Take Note! Oil Barge Breaks Off Texas [AP] Oil Is Too Flammable Not To Burn! Oil Is Too Indispensable Not To Dehydrate, Dispense & Duh, Burn! Oil Is Too Inflammable Not To Burn! Oil Is Too Inflammably Flammable Not To Burn! Oil Is Too Valuable To Burn! Plasticize It! OJ Web Site Address: Slash.Slash.Backslash.Escape OK, Who Stopped Payment On My Reality Check? [Bumper Sticker] Okay, Okay, I Take It Back! ‘Un-Fuck You!’ Okay, Who Put A Stop Payment On My Reality Check? Okey Dokey Okey McSmokey Okey Smokey Oktoberfest – Expect The Wurst!!!! [Barry J. Lipson] Oktoberfest – Expect The Wurst At Our WurstEver Oktoberfest Old 8 To 7 [Rutherford B. Hayes] Old Age Is Always Fifteen Years Older Than You Are Old Age Is Not So Bad When You Consider The Alternatives [Maurice Chevalier] Old Age Is Nothing To Worry About, Except If You’re A Fruit Old Age Is The Most Unexpected Of Things That Can Happen To A Man [Trotsky] Old Age Is When Your Bowels Betray You & You Get Intercontinental Old Age Isn't So Bad When You Consider The Alternative [Maurice Chevalier] 6
Old Bakers Never Die, They Just Keep Making Dough Old Believe Everything, Middle Aged Suspect Everything, Young Know Everything Old Bikes Should Be Retired Old Bill [William Howard Taft] Old Boy Old Boys’ Club Old Boys' Network Old Buck [James Buchanan] Old Burglars Never Die, They Just Steal Away Old Dominion Old Enough To Know Better, Too Young To Care Old Forget, Young Don't Know Old Four Eyes [Theodore Roosevelt] Old Gardeners Never Die, They Just Vegetate Old Generator Operators Never Die, They Just De-Generate Old Girl Old Girls' Network Old Grave Digger Is An Elderberry Old Grocers Never Die, They Just Get Shelved Old Hickory [Andrew Jackson] Old Ideas Got That Way Because They Proved Useful Old Is When You Download The Porn Movie ‘Debby Does Dialysis’ Old Kinderhook [Martin Van Buren] Old Lawyers Never Die, They Just Lose Their Appeal Old Loves They Die Hard!, Old Lies They Die Harder! [Nightwish] Old Man Eloquent [John Quincy Adams] Old MacDonald Had A Farm & He Called His Farm 'Agricultural Real Estate Tax Abatement' Old May Be Out-Run But Not Out-Reasoned Old Mediums Never Die, They Just Give Up The Ghost Old New England Egg Nog – Freshly Made Old Newborn Old News Old News From Southern Maine [Sharon Cummins] Old News Is Any Old News You Already Knew When Told To You As New News Old News Is Youtube News; It Takes 5 Minutes For New News To Mature Into Youtube News Old Programmers Never Die, They Just Can't C As Well Old Quarterbacks Never Die, They Just Pass Away Old Quarterbacks Who Are Passed Over Get Nickeled & Dimed To Death Old Rough & Ready [Zachary Taylor] Old Shouldn't Eat Health Food, They Need All The Preservatives They Can Get [R. Orben] Old Sink Or Swim [John Adams] Old Skiers Never Die, They Just Go Down Hill Old Soldiers Never Die, They Just Fade Away Old Soldiers Never Die, Young Ones Do Old Sow Taught To Sow The Fields & Sew His Clothes Old Sow Who Couldn't Sow Her Wild Oats, Jealously Slopped The Sow & Her Piglets 7
Old Sow Who Couldn't Sow Her Wild Oats, Sourly Sowed The Field & Sewed The Cloth Old Technology Old Tippecanoe [William Henry Harrison] Old Tractors & The Men Who Love Them [Roger Welsch Sees Gals As 'Old Tractors'?] Old Worms Never Die, They Just Wiggle Into Larger Cans Older We Get, The Fewer Things Seem Worth Waiting In Line For [Will Rogers] Older Women Don’t Tell, Don’t Swell & Are Grateful As Hell Oldest Inhabitant Of This Village Died Three Weeks Ago Oldest Inhabitant Of This Village Died Three Weeks Ago Without Choosing A Successor Oldest Profession [Prostitution - 1967 French Film] Oleagenous Foliage Gleaners* Olfactophobia & Osmophobia - Olfactive Fear Of Glue Factory, Skunk Works & Other Smells Oliver's Law Of Public Speaking: A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet Oly Rollers, Women's Flat-Track Roller Derby League From Olympia, Washington Olympic Ice Dancers Sensual, Sexual Routines Were Icy Hot! OMFG [Official Meeting Facilities Guide Magazine] OMFG [Oh My F*cking God] Omelets Take Broken Eggs, But Not All Broken Eggs Make Decent Omelets Omphalophobia - Fear Of Bellybuttons & Presumably Pupik Lint & Navel Fluff & Piercings On A Mission I Am Expected To Sacrifice Myself [007] On Generosity: Empty Hands Are Dirty Hands On His Feet He Wore ... Blisters [Aristotle] On Off On-Line Newspaper On-Line Security On Matters Of Style Swim With Current, On Matters Of Principle Stand Like Rock [Jefferson] On One Hand, I’m Indecisive; But On The Other, I’m Not On Road From City Of Skepticism, I Had To Pass Through Valley Of Ambiguity [Adam Smith] On Tallulah's Lack Of Panties: Is It 'Matter For Costumer Or Hairdresser'? [Alfred Hitchcock] On The Average We Are All Either Fools Or Undiscovered Geniuses On The Ball On The Flip Side On The Fly On The Game On The Go On The Ground On The Hoof On The House On The Internet The Question Is Not Illegality, But E-Legality… On The Keyboard Of Life, Always Keep One Finger On The Escape Key On The One Hand, I'm Indecisive, But On The Other, I'm Not! On The Other Hand On The Other Hand, Convicted Moslem Pickpocket No Longer Have One On The Other Hand, Convicted Moslem Pickpocket Picked It From Pocket He Was Picking On The Other Hand, She’s Too Ambitious For Her Own Good On The Other Hand, Was The Ring I Was Missing 8
On The Other Hand, You Have Opposite But Equal Fingers On The Other Hand, Your Hand's Reversed On Time Airplane On Time Flight On Time Musical Production On Time Train On TV, Pure Drivel Tends To Drive Off Ordinary Drivel Once A Decision Is Decided, All Experience Is Selectively Interpreted To Support It Once A Job Is Fouled Up, Anything Done To Improve It Only Makes It Worse Once A Pun A Time, I Use To Be Great At Wordplay Once A Thief, Always A Thief Once Again Once Bitten, Twice Shy Once Bought An Item Will Always Be On Sale Somewhere Else Cheaper Once Erosion Of Power Begins It Has A Momentum All Its Own [Arab Spring?] Once Game Is Over, King & Pawn Go Back In Same Box [Italian Proverb] Once Is Chance, Twice Is Coincidence, Three Times Is Enemy Action [007] Once Toothpaste Is Out Of The Tube, It’s Hard To Get It Back In! [H. R. Haldeman] Once You Become Predictable, No One’s Interested Anymore [Chet Atkins] Once You Can Fake Sincerity, You Have It Made Once You Learn How To Die, You Learn How To Live Once Your Head is Above Water Someone Will Open The Floodgates Once You're A Pickle You Can Never Be A Cucumber Again Once You've Seen One Shopping Center, You've Seen A Mall One & The Same Time One Another One Armed Man Applauds The Kindness Of Strangers [Tulsa World] One Armed Bandit – Bang, Bang One Armed Bandit - Jingle, Jingle One Armed Bandit Jumped For Joy Upon Exposing Three Cherries One Armed Man Applauds The Kindness Of Strangers [Tulsa World] One Armed Man Looked Fugitively At The Fugitive One Board Member Short Of A Quorum One Bun In The Oven One Can’t Think Well, Love Well, Sleep Well, If One Has Not Dined Well [Virginia Woolf] One Careless Match Starts A Forest Fire, But It Takes A Box To Start A Campfire One Child Makes You A Parent, Two A Referee One Choice One Cow Spying On Another Cow Is A Steak Out One Day All Your Beer Drinking Will Be The Urination Of You & You'll Rue That Day One Day Your Life Will Flash Before Your Eyes, Make Sure It’s Worth Watching One Death Is A Tragedy, A Thousand Deaths Is A Statistic [Leverage 3.4] One Death Is A Tragedy, 10 Deaths A Disaster, 10,000 Deaths Merely A Statistic [Joseph Stalin] One Does Well To Separate One's Career From One's Life [Dave Barry] One Doesn't Have A Sense Of Humor. It Has You [Larry Gelbart] One Fish, Two Fish , But Where Have All The Fishy Fish Fishes Gone? 9
One Foot In His Mouth & The Other In The Twilight Zone [Rod Sterling] One Fry Short Of A Happy Meal One Generation Plants The Trees, Another Get The Shade One Girl Can Be Pretty, But A Dozen Are Only A Chorus [F. Scott Fitzgerald] One God Many Paths [Barry J. Lipson For BSA, Greater Pittsburgh Council] One Good Suit Is Worth A Thousand Resumes, If You Have A Good Lawyer One Good Suit Is Worth A Thousand Resumes, If You Wear It Well One Good Thing About Music, When It Hits You, You Feel No Pain [Bob Marley] One Good Turn Deserves Another One Good Turn Gets Most Of The Blankets One Half Of The World Does Not Know How The Other Half Lives One Hand Washes The Other One Hat On Hat Rack Said To Other: 'Stay Here, I'll Go On A Head' One Hundred & Ten Percent One Hundred Percent American Is A Ninety-Nine Percent Idiot One Hundred Percent Of All Deaths Are Attributable To Birth One Hundred Percent Of All Divorces Are Attributable To Marriage One Hundred Percent Safe! C R A S H ! ! ! ‘Ninety-Nine Percent Anyways’! [Bullwinkle] One Hundred Percent White Whole Wheat Flour [Color: Tan] One Hundred Thousand Sperm & Yours Had To Be The One To Hit A Home Run! One Hour Cleaning One Hour Photo One Hundred & Ten Percent One Hundred Percent Chance One Hundred Percent Plus One In Buns One In Three British Men Ready To Give Birth [Reuters] One IQ Point Above Brain Dead One IQ Point Above Squash One Is Only As Intelligent As Their Actions One Is Truly Wise Who Gains Wisdom From Another's Mishap One Joy Dispels A Hundred Cares [Confucius] One Law For The Rich & Another For The Poor One Law For The Rich & Another For The Poor – Unconstitutional! One Legged Hitch Hikers 'Hop In' One Lie Is A Lie, Two Are Lies, But Three Is Politics! One Loses Everything When One Loses One's Sense Of Humor [Ayn Rand] One Lunch Room Conversation Is Worth A Hundred Surveys [Peter Block] One Man Audience One Man Band One Man Show One Man's Magic Is Another Man's Engineering [Robert Heinlein] One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Poison One Man’s Philosophy Is Another Man’s Belly Laugh One Man's Poison Ivy Is Another Man's Spinach [George Ade] One Man's Red Tape Is Another Man's System 10
One Man’s Self-Inflicted Wound Is Another Man’s Therapeutic Blood Letting One Man’s Theology Is Another Man’s Belly Laugh One Man's Remorse Is Another Man's Reminiscence [Ogden Nash] One Member Short Of A Quorum One Might As Well Be Hanged For A Sheep As A Lamb One More Drink & I'll Be Under The Host [Dorothy Parker] One Must Be Cruel To Be Kind [Shakespeare] One Must Believe In Something, I Believe I’ll Have Another Beer [Wm Claude Dukenfield] One Must Have Chaos In One’s Self In Order To Give Birth To A Dancing Star [Nietzsche] One Nation Indivisible One Nation Invisible One Nice Thing About Egotists: They Don't Talk About Other People [George Carlin] One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others [Sesame Street] One Of These Things Just Doesn’t Belong [Sesame Street] One Pair One Percent Done One Percent Pure One Person Crew One Person Team One Persons Self-Inflicted Wound Is Another’s Therapeutic Blood Letting One Pound Of Learning Requires Ten Pounds Of Common Sense To Apply It [Persian Proverb] One Reason Folks Get Into Trouble Is That Trouble Usually Starts Out Being Fun One Should Love Animals, They're So Tasty One Should Always Play Fair When One Has The Winning Cards [Oscar Wilde] One Should Never Generalize, Even Now! One Size Fits All One Slink Short Of A Slinky One Slink Short Of A Slinky, One Stink Short Of A Stinky One Small Step For A Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind [Neil Armstrong Meant] One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind [Neil Armstrong Said] One Small Step For Man, One Giant Stumble For Mankind One Step Forward. Two Steps Backward One Swallow Does Not Make A Summer One Swallow Does Not Make A Summer, But One Swallow Can Make A Fall One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor [George Carlin] One Term Proposition One Term Proposition – Never End A Sentence On A Proposition! [John Stewart] One That Would Have The Fruit Must Climb The Tree [Thomas Fuller] One Thing The World Needs Is Popular Government At Popular Prices [George Barker] One Thing To Give Advice, Another To Take It One Thing You Can Give & Still Keep Is Your Word One Tree Can Become 10,000 Matches, But It Takes Only One Match To Burn 10,000 Trees One Volunteer Is Worth Ten Pressed Men One Way To Keep Momentum Going Is To Have Constantly Greater Goals [Michael Korda] One Way To Stop A Runaway Horse Is To Bet On Him One Who Doesn't Correct A Mistake Is Committing Another One 11
One Who Doesn't Read Has No Advantage Over One Who Can't [Mark Twain] One Who Is Good For Making Excuses Is Seldom Good For Anything Else One Who Lacks The Courage To Start Has Already Finished One Who Makes No Mistakes, Never Makes Anything One Woman's Hobby May Be Another Woman's Hubby One Year's Seeding Makes Seven Years Weeding One's Judgment Is No Better Than His Information One's 'Opinion Of The World Is Also A Confession Of Character' [Ralph Waldo Emerson] One's Real Life Is Often The Life That One Does Not Lead [Oscar Wilde] Online Newspaper Online Security Only A Fool Will Stay A Fool [Nor A Nar Vet Bleiben A Nar] Only A Mediocre Person Is Always At His Best [Somerset Maughan] Only Been Wrong Once &That's When I Thought I Was Wrong Only Certainty Is That Nothing Is Certain [Pliny The Elder] Only Choice Only Consistency Is Inconsistency Only Culture Some People Have Is Bacteria Only Daylight Or A Bigger One ‘Could Stop A Massive Orgy’ [Upright Citizen’s Brigade] Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow [Palin] Only Decent Thing To Do Behind One’s Back Is Pat It & That May Be Sexual Harassment Only Difference Between Fear & Adventure Is How Much You Breathe [Rob Kalnitsky] Only Disability In Life Is A Bad Attitude Only Dread One Day At A Time [Charlie Brown] Only Emperor Is The Emperor Of Ice Cream [Wallace Stevens] Only Empty Heads & Empty Hearts Can Hold A Man Back, Never Empty Pockets Only Fools & Horses Work Only God Can Make A Random Selection Only Good Indian Is A Dead Indian Only Good Indian Is A Dead Indian, Only Good Whitie Is Similarly Dispatched Only Gargled From The Fountain Of Knowledge Only Has One Oar In The Water Only Hopeless If You Walk Away Only Ignorance Is Invincible Only Important Action Of A Meeting Is Agreement On Next Meeting Only Kings, Editors & Tapeworm Hosts Have The Right To Use The Editorial 'We' Only Lack Of Imagination Saves One From Being Immobilized By Imaginary Fears Only Losers Use Drugs & Only Users Lose Drugs Only Misers Love Money, Rest Of Us Love What It Will Buy Only New Thing In This World Is The History That You Don't Know [Harry S Truman] Only One Difference Between A Madman & Me - I Am Not Mad [Salvador Dali] Only One Man In A 1000 Is A Leader Of Men, The Other 999 Follow Women [Groucho Marx] Only One Option Only One Thing Is Certain, That Nothing Is Certain Only Option Only People Who Appreciate Change Aren’t All Wet 12
Only People Who Should Sin Are The People Who Can Sin & Grin [Ogden Nash] Only People Who Should Sin Are The People Who Can Sin With Gin & Bare The Software Only Perfect Science Is Hind-Sight Only Perfect Sight Is Hind-Sight Only Person Who Likes Change Is A Wet Baby [Roy Blitzer] Only Place Success Comes Before Work Is In The Dictionary Only Problem With Boy Scouts Is There Aren't Enough Of Them [Will Rogers] Only Put Off What You Are Willing To Die Having Left Undone [Pablo Picasso] Only Real Mistake Is The One From Where We Learn Nothing [Henry Ford] Only Reason For Being A Bee Is Making Honey Just For Me Only Reason For Being A Bee Is Making Honey So I Can Eat It [Winnie The Pooh] Only Safe Ship In A Storm Is Leadership [Faye Wattleton] Only Safe Thing Is To Take A Chance Only SEEMS That You Mustn't Be Deceived By Appearances Only Substitute For Good Manners Is Fast Reflexes Only The Dead Have Seen The End Of War [George Santayana; Some Also Say Plato] Only The Mediocre Are Always At Their Best [Jean Giraudoux 1882-1944] Only The Only Thing Worse Than Watching A Bad Movie Is Being In One [Elvis Presley] Only The Shallow Know Themselves [Oscar Wilde] Only The Strong Survive Only The Winners Decide What Were War Crimes Only The Wisest & Stupidest Of Men Never Change [Confucius] Only The Universe & Human Stupidity Are Infinite & I Question The Former [Einstein] Only Thing I Don't Procrastinate About Is Procrastination Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is When You Gossip About Them [Will Rogers] Only Time To Eat Diet Food Is While Waiting For The Steak To Cook [Julia Child] Only Time Will Tell If We Stand The Test Of Time ['Why Can't This Be Love?'] Only Time You Run Out Of Chances Is When You Stop Taking Them Only Thing Divorce Proves Is Whose Mother Was Right In The First Place Only Thing I Don't Procrastinate About Is Procrastination Only Thing Necessary For The Triumph Of Evil Is For Good Men To Do Nothing Only Thing That Can Grows Without Nourishment, 'The Human Ego' [Marshall Lumsden] Only Thing That Endures Is Change Only Thing To Fear Is Fear Itself Only Thing To Fear Is Fearlessness [REM] Only Thing We Learn From History Is We Learn Nothing From History [Hegel] Only Thing Worse Than A Man You Can't Control Is A Man You Can [Margo Kaufman] Only Thing Worse Than Being Talked About Is Not Being Talked About Only Thing You Can Change About Another Person Is Your Own Attitude Only Three Kinds Of People, People Who Can Count & People Who Can't…. Only Traditions Of The Royal Navy Are Rum, Sodomy & The Lash Only Two Problems With People, One Is They Don't Think & Other Is They Do Only Two Ways Of Telling Complete Truth: Anonymously & Posthumously [Thomas Sowell] Only Unchangeable Certainty Is That Nothing Is Certain Or Unchangeable [John F. Kennedy] Only Valid Censorship Of Ideas Is The Right Of People Not To Listen [Tommy Smothers] Only Voodoo Sects Make Zombies! – Wrong, Jesus Rose From Dead After 3 Days [Bones] 13
Only Way A Reporter Should Look At A Politician Is Down Only Way To Achieve The Impossible, Is To Believe It's Possible [Alice] Only Way To Define Limits Of Possible Is To Go Beyond Into Impossible [Arthur C. Clarke] Only Way To Fight A Woman Is With Your Hat, Grab It & Run [Cary Grant] Only Way To Get Rid Of A Temptation Is To Yield To It [Oscar Wilde] Only Way To Keep Your Health Is To Eat, Drink & ‘Do What You'd Rather Not’ [Mark Twain] Only When All Who Surround You Are Different Will You Truly Belong [Little Man Tate] Only Winner In The War Of 1812 Was Tchaikovsky (Who Made Overture) Only You Can Control Your Future [Dr. Seuss] Oo Ee, Oo Ah Ah, Ting Tang, Walla Walla Bing Bang [‘Witch Doctor’] Oops. My Brain Just Hit A Bad Sector Oops! There Goes Another Rubber Tree Plant Oops!! There Goes A Billion Kilowatt Dam Oops!!! There Goes Another Problem Kerplop OPA [Office Of Price Administration] OPA Vs OPM [Office Of Price Administration Vs Other People’s Money] Opera Virgins Wanted! [Opera Theater Summer Fest] Open Bar Open Bond Open-Book Exam Open Book Test Open Borders Open Can Of Worms & To Recan You'll Need A Larger Can Open Circuit Open Code Open Door Is Ajar, But An Open Jar Is Not A Door Open End Open House Open Lock Open Loop Open Marriage Only Way To Get Rid Of A Temptation Is To Yield To It [Oscar Wilde] Open Mind & Open Mouth Are Not Co-Dependant, But Anti-Dependant Open Mind Does Not Always Require An Open Mouth Open Minded Open Minded Skeptic Open Secret Open Sesame [Iftah Ya Simsim] Open System Open The Door, Richard, Open The Door And Let Me In Open Your Arms To Change, But Don’t Let Go Of Your Values [Dalai Lama] Open Your Knees & Feel The Breeze Open Water Openly Stealing Opera Ain't Over Till The Fat Lady Sings Opera Is The Only Place Where A Guy Gets Stabbed & Instead Of Bleeding Sings 14
Operating System Operation Rescue Operation Undertow Is Dead In The Water [Defence Minister To 007] OPM [Other People’s Money] Opportunistically Pessimistic Opportunities Aren't Lost, They Are Seized By Others Opportunities Come From Knocking Doors Until They Open Opportunities Come Not To Waiters, But To ‘Those Who Dare To Attack’ [Paul J. Meyer] Opportunities Multiply As They Are Seized [Sun Tzu] Opportunity Always Knocks At The Least Opportune Moment Opportunity For A Solution Opportunity Is Missed By Most Because It’s Dressed In Overalls & Looks Like Work [Edison] Opportunity Is Missed By Most People If It Looks Like Work Opportunity May Only Knock Once, But Temptation Raps Forever Opportunity Never Knocks Twice At Any Man's Door Opposite Attraction Opposite Of A Correct Statement Is A False Statement [Niels Bohr] Opposite Of A Profound Truth May Well Be Another Profound Truth [Niels Bohr] Opposite Of Love Isn't Hate, It's Apathy [John Lecarre] Opposite Of Progress Is Congress! Opposites Attract Oprah’s ‘Beloved’ Mac & Cheese Binge, She Didn’t UpCHUCKY! [1998] Optimist Believes We Live In The Best World Possible, A Pessimist Fears This Is True Optimist Invents The Airplane, Pessimist Invents The Parachute [George Bernard Shaw] Optimist Is A Girl Who Sees Her Bulges As Her Curves Optimist Is A Woman Who Loads Up The MP3 Before Making Love Optimist Is A Person Who Doesn't Know The Enormity Of The Problem Optimist Is Man Looking Forward To Marriage, A Pessimist A Married Optimist Optimist Is Someone Without Much Experience Optimist Laughs To Forget, Pessimist Forgets To Laugh Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Calamity; Pessimist Calamity In Every Opportunity Optimist Thinks This Is The Best Possible World & Pessimist Knows It Optimistic Believer Optimistic Dunce ‘Bought A Burial Suit With Two Pairs Of Pants!’ [Chuck Tanner] Optimistic Dunce Waits For His Number To Hit When He Hasn't Bought A Ticket Optimistic Dunce Waits For His Ship To Come In When He Hasn't Sent One Out Optimistic Pessimist Optimists Are People With Few Experiences Optimist’s Glass Is 'Half-Full,' Pessimist’s Is 'Half-Empty' & Engineer’s Is 'Too Big' Optometrist: If You Don't See What You're Looking For, You've Come To The Right Place Optometrists Need To Make Spectacles But Not Of Themselves Opulence Of Firm's Executive Offices Varies Inversely With Opulence Of Firm's Books Oraculum Predicts On Frabjous Day Alice Slays The Red Queen’s Darling Jabberwocky Oral Books Oral Contract Oral Hygiene 15
Oral Sadism & The Vegetarian Personality [Glenn Ellenbogen Or Is It Ellen Glennbogen?] Orange Tree Not Kosher If Fortified By Anti-Viral Swine DNA Oranges Available From Florida Wal-Mart’s Are Strangely ‘California Navel Oranges' Orators May Lack Depth But Not Length Orderly Confusion Orders That Can Be Misunderstood Will Be Misunderstood Ordinary Event Ordinary Miracle Ordinary People Oregano Is The Spicy Ancient Italian Art Of Pizza Folding Oreo: American Black Who Is Black Outside & White Inside (Complements Of Oreo Cookies) Oreo's Double Stuff Is Stuffed With Only 80% More Stuff Than Single Stuff – Stuff It! Organ Donor Organic Organism Organic Orgasm Organization's Ability To Succeed In Spite Of Itself Runs Out Without Prior Warning Organizations Are Self-Perpetuating Parthenogenesists Organizations Can Grow Faster Than Their Brains Can Manage Organized Anarchy Organized Artist Organized Chaos Organized Clutter Organized Committee Organized Confusion Organized Crime Organized Mess Organized Traffic Jam Orgiastic Organism Orgiastic Orgasm Orgy At Seniors' Club - None Came Orgy At Swingers' Club - All Came Orie Documents Offered In Her Defense At Criminal Trial Look Forged, Judge Says - Mistrial! Orie Documents 'Were Forged' U.S. Secret Service Finds [Post Gazette 7/6/11] Orie Or Oreo, Is There A Difference? Well, An Oreo Is Black Outside & White Inside ... Oriental Blindfolded & Spun Until He Was Disoriented! Original Content Is Original Only For A Few Seconds Before Getting Old Original Copies Original Ideas Can Never Emerge From Committees In Their Original Form Original Ideas Will Have To Be Rammed It Down People's Throats [Howard Aiken] Original Replica Original Reprint Original Reproduction Original Sticker Price Sticks It To You! Originality Is The Art Of Concealing Your Sources [Franklin P. Jones] Orville Wright Did Not Have A Pilot’s License, Amelia Earhart Did! Osama’s Fate Was Sealed By Obama 16
Osborne Effect: Undermining Current Sales By Announcing Unavailable Advanced Product Ostalgie, Nostalgia For Aspects Of East German Life [Ost (East) & Nostalgie (Nostalgia)] Ostrich's Eye Is Bigger Than It's Brain, But Is It Bigger Than Its Stomach? Other Line Always Moves Faster Unless You Change Lines Other Me Others Are Dogmatic When They Hold Dogmas Different From Yours Ottawa May Tackle Homeless [Toronto Star] Ounce Of Cure Is Worth A Pound Of Cured Meat Ounce Of Luck Is Worth More Than A Pound Of Gold Ounce Of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure Our Bikinis Are Exciting, They Are Simply The Tops! Our Boobs Stronger Than Their Stones [Femem] Our Comedies Are Not To Be Laughed At [Samuel Goldwyn] Our Constitution Protects Aliens, Drunks & U.S. Senators [Will Rogers] Our Customer's Paperwork Is Profit For Us, Our Own Paperwork Is Our Loss Our Efforts Are Running Into The Sand [Live Metaphor] Our Enemies Never Stop Thinking Of Ways To Harm Us ‘& Neither Do We’ [G.W. Bush] Our Foreign Policy Is An Open Book - A Checkbook [Will Rogers] Our Founding Fathers Were Liberal, NOT Conservative [Ray Medeiros] Our Job Is Not To Follow The Law, But To Make The Law [Franklin & Bash] Our Lady Of Blessed Acceleration, Don’t Fail Us Now! [Elwood Blues] Our Life Is What Our Thoughts Make It [Marcus Aurelius] Our Major Obligation Is Not To Mistake Slogans For Solutions [Edward R. Murrow] Our Personal Alphabet Puts U & I Together Our Public Bar Is Presently Not Open Because It Is Closed [Bar Sign] Our Repairmen Are The Loneliest Guys In Town [Maytag Appliances] Our Repairmen Are The Loneliest Guys In Town!- Why, Sales Way Down? Our Similarities Are Different [Dale Berra, Son Of A Yogi] Our Technology Has Exceeded Our Humanity [Albert Einstein] Our True Nationality Is Mankind [H. G. Wells] Our Vices Morning After We Enjoy Them Are Like Herrings & Onions [S. T. Coleridge] Ours Is A World Of Nuclear Giants & Ethical Infants [General Omar Bradley] Out & Out Lie Out & Out Mayhem Out In Left Field With A MILF Out In Left Field Without A Mitt Out Of Closet Out Of It Out Of Joint Out Of Joint? Joint Surgeons' Offices Are Above Steak Joint Just Past The Gin Joint Out Of My Mind, Back In Five Minutes Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind [Yiddish: Far From The Eyes, Far From The Heart] Out Of The Mist With NIST, The National Institute of Standards & Technology Out Of The Mouths Of Babes Often Comes Up Chuckles Out Of The Mouths Of Babes Often Comes Upchuck Out Sourcing 17
Out To Lunch, If Not Back By Five, Out For Dinner Also Outcome Outcomes Are Directly Affected By The Perversity Of Inanimate Objects Outer Core Outer Garment Conceals The Inner Torment Outer Limits Outer Persuasion For Inner Invasion Outer Space Outlandish Outlander Outlaw Evolution & Only Outlaws Will Evolve Outlaw Marriage & Only Outlaws Will Have In-Laws Outrage Industry [Salman Rushdie] Outside Income Outside The Box Thinking Not Possible When You Work Inside A Cube Outsourcer-In-Chief [Democratic Label For Romney] Oven Fried Ovenbirds* Over Achiever Over-Egged Assessments Over Hill, Over Dale, Over To The County Jail - Charge: Vehicular Homicide Over-Embellished Over My Dead Body Over The Counter Stock Market Over The Head Of Congress [Ronald Reagan] Over-Worked Government Employee Overarched Diva Overbalanced Budget Overbearingness Overblown Oratory Overblown Roses Overboiled Peas Overbooked Reserved Flight Overcame Shyness Overcool Overcool Hippy Overcriticality Discourages Originality Over-Crowded Mini-Bus Overcurious Cat Overdelicate Princess Overdevelop Excessively Overdid Pushups Overdog Overdone Overdone Pork Overdosed On Fame Overdraft Credit 18
Overdramatizing Ham Overdressed To Kill Overdriven Brain Overeager For Beaver Overexert Oneself Overexploitation Overexposure To Educational TV Overfatigued Tsetse Fly Overfished Plankton Overflight Under Radar Overflow Incontinence Overfull Overfull Cornucopia Overgeneralized Synopsis Overgenerous Miser Overgorge Oneself Overgrazed Cupboards Overgreedy Priest Overhasty Reconversion Overhead Excellent Storage Space For Flying Medical Specimen Heads Overseas Overhead Explosion On Overheated Aircraft Overheard By Over Zealous Ham Operator Overhead Over Head Of Congress [Credited To Ronald Reagan] Overhead Over Head Of Congress, Or So It Was Overheard In The Balcony Overhearing Audience Overheated Hothead Overlaid Piglets Overleaping Masochist Overloaded Couch Potato Overlooking The Overlooked Overlook Overly Modest Overly Shy Overman Overmatched Overmatch Checkmated Overmodest Overmodestly Demure Overmuch Affection Overnice Nanny Overplus Overpowering Solitude Overpressure Kills By Lethal Concussion Overpriced Diamonds Overproof Virgin Island Rum Overprotective Children Overqualified Gas Pumper Overrefined Argument Override 19
Overrode Governor Overrun Quota Overseas Customer Service Overseeing Matters Helps Things From Being Overlooked Overseeing The Overlookers Is The Job Of Internal Affairs Overshadowed By PhD Overshot Goals Oversight Oversight As In Overlord; Oversight As In Overlooked; Or Oversight As In Overreach Oversimplified Technical Instructions Oversoul Not Home Overspecialized Generalist Overstayed One's Welcome Overstrung Nerves Oversuspicious Overt Covert Operations Overt Operation Overtake Perceptual Stimuli Overtax Over-The-Counter Remedy Over-The-Hill Middle Schooler Over-The-Shoulder Bombing Over-The-Top Overt Tax Is Replaced By The Covert Tax [Mark Watterson] Overthrust Fault Overtire Overtolerance Overtones Of Despair Overtrain Overutilization Overvaliant Overvalue Overzealous Own Version Owns You Ownz Joo [‘Owns You’ , In ‘Leet’ &/Or ‘1337’ Computerese] Ownz Joo! Ownz Joo! ‘Escape Is Impossible, We Ownz Joo!’ Ownz Joo! Ownz Joo! ‘You're Gaga Over Her, She Ownz Joo!’ Ownz Joo, Totally I Do; Thou ‘I'm Not Sure If I Misspelled That Correctly’ Oxford Univ. Press: It's Is Not, It Isn't Ain't, & It's It's, Not Its If You Mean It Is Oxford Univ. Press: It's Or Its - If You Don't Mean It Is, It's Its Not It's Oxford Univ. Press: Then Too, It's Hers, It Isn't Her's [But Could Hers Be His?] Oxford Univ. Press: Then Too Two, It Isn't Our's Either, It's Ours, & Likewise Yours & Theirs Oxford Univ. Press: Then Too Three, What Of There, They’re, There's & Their's? Oxy Is Short For Opiate Oxycodone [Not OxyContin® Which Is Actually The Brand Name] Oxy On Oxy, Morons Guide To Punstering On Steroids 20
Oxymora Oxymoron [Sharp-Dull] Oxymoron Banned From Freshers' Fair [Oxford Publication] Oxymoron, Defined By Self-Illustration, Must Be A Planned Inadvertency [Wilson Follett] Oxymoron On Steroids Oxymoron, The ‘Results Of The Combination Of Oxygen & Stupidity’ Oxymoronic Conservatives [Hardball] Oxymoronic Double Entendre Oxymoronic With An Emphasis On Moronic Oy Gevalt: Heaven Forbid! Expression Of Utmost Anxiety Or Shock [Yiddish- ‘Oh Goodness’] Oy Vey, I'm The Rabbi! [Quantum Leap] Oy Vey/Oy: Oh, Dear, Negative Yiddish Interjection Of Dismay, Grief, Pain, &/Or Horror Oyster Cracker, Baked Golden Brown & Crispy Oyster Cracker, ‘Oy! That Was A Tough One To Crack!’ Oyster Crackers Oysters Beyond 5 Or 6 Dozen 'Certainly Cease To Be Enjoyable' [Grimod De La Reyniere] Ozian Country Colors Include Yellow For Winkie, Red For Quadling & Purple For Gillikin Ozian Yellow Brick Road Runs Through Blue Munchkin Country To Green Emerald City Ozone Man, Ozone. He's Crazy, Way Out, Far Out, Man [Geo HW Bush On Gore]
P Pablo [Bush II For Paul Wellstone, Democratic Senator, Minnesota] Pacific Ocean Pack Up & Hump Your Ruck Packing The Sausage Paddy, Irish From Patrick - 'A Paddy & No More … No Other Title Than This' [Lord E Fitzg] Pagan Cretin Pagan Goddess Pagan Pageant Pagan Penguin Pagans Worship Not The God Of Christians & Jews & Muslims, Nor Do Many Of Them Paid Volunteer Paid Volunteer Director Pain & Stain, The Virgin’s Bane Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional Pain Is Manageable Until It Hurts Painful Pleasure Painful Pleasure Turns To Pleasing Pain [Edmund Spenser] Painless Death Painless Dentistry Painless Suicide Painless Torture Pale Of Calais [1360 AD] Pale Of Dublin Pale Of Settlement [1791- Russia] Pale Pariah Pushed Beyond The Pale Puked Pailful 21
Pale There May Be, Inside Stay Thee [1657-John Harington] Pale Turned Dracula When Impaled By Pale Paleontologist Wants Students To Dig Up Dirt On Prehistory [Washington Post] Palestinian State Paling Fence [Picket Fence Surrounding Homestead] Palimony Palin-ative Cure Palliative Cure Palindromes Date All The Way Back To EVE, Way Back Before Radar Pampering The Cow Spoils Milk Pana Po’o, Hawaiian For Scratching One's Head In Forgetfulness, Or So I Thought! Panchito [Bush II For Frank Bruni, New York Times] Panda Bears Breeding Grounds Were Pandemonium Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over Pandemonium Doesn't Reign Here ... It Pours! Pandemonium Running Wild! [Mean Gene - WWF Wrestling] Panelized Home Panic, 'I Would Say Panic Is My Reaction' [Iron Man] Panique Au Village (A Town Called Panic) Animated Surreal Adventures [TV 2009] Panties Are Not The Best Thing On Earth, But Are Next To It Pants Down Confidence Up Pants Down Strategy To Stutter Free Speech Pants In North America Are Outer Garments Covering Body From Waist Down Pants In UK Are Undergarments Covering ‘The Genitals & Often The Buttocks’ Pants On Fire Pants On Fire, Even Hotter With Them Off! Pants: Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants - Girls Sharing Magical Jeans [US Version] Pants: Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants - Girls Sharing Magical Undies [UK Version] Pants Up, Stutter On; Pants Down, Stutter Off Papa Bush [George H. W. Bush] Papal Fallibility Paper Burns, But The Words Fly Away [Akiba Ben Joseph] Paper Chain Paper Clips Are The Larval Stage Of Coat Hangers - True Or False? Paper Diapers Paper Is Always Strongest At The Perforations Paper Or Plastic? – ‘Doesn't Matter, I Am Bi-Sacksual.’ Paper Plate Paper Roses Paper Tablecloth Paper Tiger Paper Towel Paperless Library Paperless Office Parachute Not Needed To Skydive, Only To Skydive Twice Paradisiacal Hell 22
Paragon Of Vice Paragon Of Virtue Parah Salin [The Capitol Steps -Sarah Palin] Parallel Connection Paramedics While Roaming Always Give IV's In '4's', Don't They? Paranoid Optimist [Robert J. Eaton] Paranoids Are Easy To Criticize, If Everybody Hated You You'd Be Paranoid Too Paranoids Even Have Enemies Paraphrased Quotation Paraprosdokian Is When The Latter Part Of Sentence Or Phrase Is Expected --- NOT!!! Pardon My Driving & Just Keep Honking While I Reload Parents Without Partners Paradise Can Be Found On Horseback, In Reading Books Or In Between Women's Breasts Paradise Lost [John Milton 1667] Paradise Lust - Searching for the Garden of Eden [Brook Wilensky-Lanford 2011] Parents Grow Old But Never Grow Up Paris Bridge Jumpers Are In Seine Park Drive Park In A Driveway & Drive On A Parkway Parking Award On Windshield Proclaimed 'Parking Fine' Parking Lot Floods When Man Bursts [Durham Herald-Sun] Parking Space Parley To Parlay A Piece Parley To Parlay Peace Parrying Questions Parsley Farmer's Wages Garnished Parsley Seed Goes Nine Times To The Devil Part-Time Bandleaders Are 'Semi-Conductors' Partial Ceasefire Partial Conclusion Partial Monopoly Partial Nudity Partial Plates Partial Silence Partial Solution Partial Success Partial Unanimity Partial Victory Partial Zero Partially Complete Partially Completed Partially Destroyed Partially Honest Partially Organized Partially True Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow [William Shakespeare] 23
Partly Pregnant Pass Ammunition & Praise Lord Pass Rusher Passed Gas Passing Away Euphemistically Softens Reference To Death Passing Wind Passionate Hatred Can Give Meaning & Purpose To An Empty Life [Eric Hoffer] Passionate Kiss, Like Spider Web, Leads To Undoing Of Fly Passions ... Are Good Servants But Bad Masters [Aesop] Passive Activity Passive Aggression Passive Aggressive Passive Amplifier [Megaphone] Passive Challenge Passive Confrontation Passive Preamp Passive Resistance Passive Restraint Passively Aggressive Passively Tried Past Cannot Be Changed, The Future Is Yet In Your Power [Mary Pickford] Past Perfect Past Prediction Past Presents Past Shock [Jack Barranger] Past Was Dead, The Future Was Unimaginable [1984] Pasta & Antipasto, Do They Cancel Each Other Out Leaving One Hungry? Paste A Look Of Cooperation On Your Face Or I'll Paste One On You [Hot Lips, M*A*S*H] Pat On The Back Is Just North Of A Kick In The Ass Pataphysics - Perhaps The Ultimate In Anti-Reductionism Pataphysics - The Science Of Imaginary [Alfred Jarry 1873-1907] Pataphysics Views Each Event As Completely Unique, Subject To No Laws But Its Own Pâté Is Nothing But French Meat Loaf That's Had A Couple Of Cocktails [Carole Cutler] Patent Trolls Plunder & Pillage American Business [Barry J. Lipson] Patently We Are Putting The Grant Before The Application [Barry J. Lipson] Patents’ Spark Of Genius Test Has Morphed Into Non-Obvious Test Patent Troll Paterno As Paternoster Of Penn State Ill-Advisedly ‘Saintitized’ San Dusky By Canonization Paterno Was The Paternoster Of Penn State Until He Blew The Spirit Of The Lord's Prayer Path Of Civilization Is Paved With Tin Cans [Elbert Hubbard] Path With No Obstacles Probably Leads Nowhere Pathological Liars Are Unbelievable Patience Has Its Limits, Taken Too Far & Its Cowardice [George Jackson] Patience Is A Naked Lady Lying With Legs Apart Under A Banana Tree Patience Is A Virtue Patient Patient Gets The Pretty Nurse 24
Patients Can Have As Many Diseases As They Damn Well Please [Hickam's Dictum] Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detained In Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility [Sheriff of Year 2002] Patrick Molesti Charged With Child Molestation Patriotic Militia Patriots Against The Patriots Act Paul Rudolph's 23 Beekman, An Architectural Oxymoron Pavlov, Does That Name Ring A Bell? Pawn Stars Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain [The Wizard Of Oz, 1939] Pay The Piper Pay Toll Pay Troll Pay Your Exorcist Or Get Repossessed Payback Or Backpay? Paying Alimony Is Like Feeding Hay To A Dead Horse [Groucho Marx] Payroll Withholding PBS Mind, He Realized He Had, In An MTV World Peace, A Period Of Cheating Between Two Periods Of Fighting Peace Benefits Peace Deficit Peace Force Peace For Our Time - Go Home & Get A Nice Quiet Sleep [Neville Chamberlain 1938] Peace In Our Time [Noel Coward 1946 Science Fiction Play] Peace Keeper Missile Peace, Love & Crabs [Joe’s Crab House] Peace More Difficult Than War, Two Needed To Make Peace, But Only One To Make War Peace Offensive Peace Officer Peace Riot Peace Starts With A Smile Peace Tax Peace War Peaceful Conflict Peaceful Fight Peaceful Hullabaloo Peaceful Iraq Peaceful Liberatio Peaceful Liberation Of Tibet Peaceful Protests Peaceful War Peaceful Warrior Peacefully Contentious Peacekeeper Missile Peacekeeping Force Peacemaker Missile Peach Bottom Nuclear Generating Station 25
Peach Bottom Railway Peach Bottom Township [PA] Peach Pit Peaches&Cream, Peaches&Cream, Let's Have A Cheer For The Haahvad Team - Knit1, Pearl2 Peaches La Tour's Engagement -Things Are On One Moment Off The Next [Duffy's Tavern] Peachy Keen Peacock Today, Feather Duster Tomorrow Peanut Brittle Peanut Butter & Jelly Is Vegan! Peanut Butter & Jelly Is Vegan, Peanut Butter & Jelly Meatballs Not! Peanut Butter & Jelly Is Vegan, Peanut Butter Pork Not! Peanut Butter Is Darn Good Shaving Cream [Barry Goldwater] Peanut Butter Jars Must Have Caution ‘Made In Facility That Processes Peanuts’ Peanut Can Warning: ‘Contains Nuts' - Really? Peanuts Are Leguminous Beans, Not Nuts! Peanut Walking Into Bar Was A Salted Pearl Harbor File Pearl Harbor Files Maintained To Cover Asses Asses Pearls Of Wisdom Peasant King Peckerwood: Poor Rural Whites, Not Necessarily A Peckerhead Pedestrians Break Down Into Two Kinds, The Quick & The Dead Pediatrician Is A Doctor Of Little Patients Pedro [Bush II For Peter King, Republican Congressman From New York] Pee Cola From Ghana Peek-A-Boo I See You Peek-A-Boobie!!! - Nip Sip, Nipple Slipple Or Down Blouse Peeping Tom Peer Pressure Peerless Peers Of The Land Peg Leg Groom-To-Be Had It Broken Off By Bride-To-Be Pelvic Examining MD Whistled ‘Oh, I Wish I Was An Oscar Mayer Wiener’ While He Worked Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, But The Quip Is Mightier Than The Gun Pen Is More Deadly Than An Arrow Pen Pals Penalty For Early Withdrawal Penalty For Early Withdrawal From Bank Penalty For Early Withdrawal From Bank Teller, Especially If She Tells The Other Tellers Pedant Teaching Donkey Not To Eat, Bemoans ‘He Learned, He Died’[Philogelos 300-400AD] Penduline Tits* Pendulum Swings, Returning On Average To A Center Slightly To The Left [Barry J. Lipson] Penguins Don't Fly As They're Not Tall Enough To Be Pilots Penicillophobia - Bacteria's Fear Of Catching Penicillin [Droodles] Penis De Milo [Italian PM Berlusconi Restoration] Penis Enlargement Pills Must Work, You're A Bigger Dick Than Ever Before 26
Penis Envy Vs. Venus Envy [Freud] Penis Monument: Thirty Foot Phallic Sky Pillar In Changchun, China Amusement Park Penis Monument To Ewenki Crushing Cruel Queen & His Penis Totem Forcing Male Respect Penknife Penny Dreadfulls Penny Farthing Bicycle By Quax $580.14 [outdoorgb.com] Penny For Your Thoughts Penny For Your Thoughts, He Asked, & You Put Your Two Cents In Penny Hides Biggest Star In Sky If You Hold It Close Enough To Your Eye Penny Saved Is A Government Oversight Penny Saved Is A Penny Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned, But It Wouldn't Have Bought Much Anyhow! Penny Saved Is Penny Earned, Penny Spent Is Penny Enjoyed Penny Saved Is A Penny That Needs Many Friends Penny Saved Is Ridiculous Penny Saved Is Another Penny In The Penny Jar Penny Saved Is Ridiculous Penny Stock Penny Wise & Pound Foolish Pens, Paper Grow Obsolete – Tribune-Review [12-19-2010] Pentiums Melt In Your PC, Not In Your Hand People Are Always Available For Work In The Past Tense People Are Cooking Less But Obsessing About It More [D. Poynter] People Are Frightened By New Ideas, I'm Frightened By Old Ones [John Cage] People Are Just About As Big As The Things That Make Them Angry People Are Like Blisters Not Showing Up Until The Work Is Done People Are Taking The Comedians Seriously & The Politicians As A Joke [Will Rogers] People Are Unreasonable, Irrational & Self-Centered - Forgive Them Anyway [Mother Teresa] People Ask You For Criticism, But They Only Want Praise [Somerset Maughan] People Become What They Expect Themselves To Become People Can't Understand Sarcasm People Change & Forget To Tell Each Other People Do Today What They Will Do Tomorrow Because That’s What They Did Yesterday People Don't Change, They Only Become More So People Don't Know 'What What They Do Does' [M. Foucault] People Don’t Plan To Fail, They Just Fail To Plan People Don't Use Their Initiative Because No One Told Them To People Enter Therapy Desiring Change & Once In Act As If It Is The Last Thing They Want People Excel & Learn Because They Want To, Not Because They Are Told To [Peter Senge] People Get Lost In Thought ‘Because It’s Unmapped Unfamiliar Territory’ [Paul Fix] People Have One Thing In Common, They Are All Different People Have The Right To Be Stupid, But Some People Abuse This Right People In Cars Cause Accidents, Accidents In Cars Cause People People In Power Vs. Power Of People People Like You Are The Reason People Like Me Need Medication 27
People Love Twisty This’s And Melodramatic That’s [Castle] People Misunderstand Sarcasm, The Sarcastic Misunderstand People People Of A Trade Seldom Meet Without ‘Conspiracy Against The Public'[Adam Smith] People Person People Person, What's A Freakin' People Person? People Person Walks The Dog Person & Scratches The Cat Person’s Ears People Recite At A Play & Play At A Recital People Say I’m Indecisive, But I Don't Know About That [George H. W. Bush] People Say Nothing Is Impossible, But I Do Nothing Every Day [Whinnie The Pooh] People Say That Losing Weight Is 'No Walk In The Park', But It Helps! [Chris Adams] People Tell Me I’m Childish, But I Think They're Just Being Poopyheads People That Drive Give Drinking A Bad Name People Think Common Sense Is Common - But It's Not [Don Cherry] People Think They Are Thinking When They But Rearranging Their Prejudices [E. R. Murrow] People Throw Rocks At Things That Shine [Taylor Swift] People Usually Can Keep Without Paying What’s Mailed To Them, If They Didn’t Order It! People Usually Get What's Coming To Them, Unless It's Been Mailed People Want The Front Of The Bus, The Back Of The Church & The Centre Of Attention People Want To Change Everything & Yet Want It All To Remain The Same [Paulo Coelho] People Want To Change Yet Remain The Same People Who Can't Count To Ten Are Those Ahead Of You In The Express Lane People Who Claim Never To Fart Are Full Of Hot Air People Who Complain Have Too Much Time On Their Hands [Tony Napoleone] People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead [Gary Leon Hill Knows Your Out Their Reading This!] People Who Eat Natural Foods Die From Natural Causes People Who Fight Fire With Fire Usually End Up With Ashes [Abigail Van Buren] People Who Fly Into A Rage Always Make A Bad Landing [Will Rogers] People Who Give Up May Be But A Step Away From Success People Who Like People Are The Most Successful People In The World People Who Habitually Give Advice Are The Worst People To Take Advice From People Who Have No Vices Will Have Some Pretty Annoying Virtues [Eliz Taylor] People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones People Who Tell You How Young You Look, Are Telling You How Old You Are [Cary Grant] People Who Work Sitting Down Earn More Than People Who Work Standing Up [Nash] People Will Believe Anything If You Whisper It People Will Buy Most Anything That's One To A Customer People Will Follow Your Footsteps More Readily Than They Will Follow You Advice People With Gift Of Gab Don’t Know How To Wrap It People With Narrow Minds Usually Have Broad Tongues People Without Power - Storm Sandy Victims Sitting In The Dark People Without Power -The Middle Class? People Who Do The World’s Real Work Don’t Usually Wear Neckties People Would Follow Him Anywhere, But Only Out Of Morbid Curiosity Peoples' Names Should Not Be Verbs Or Adjectives Peoples' Republic Of China Pep Without Purpose Is Piffle 28
Pepper Cherry Pepper Is Small In Quantity & Great In Virtue [Plato] Pepper Or Pepsi, For French Canadian From Bad Teeth Breakfasting On Pepsi Or Dr Pepper Peppermint Pepsi Free Per Se Perception Is Never Identical For Any Two People Perception Is Never Totally Accurate Perception Is Three-Fourths Of Everything [Gov. Doug Wilder] Perceptive Hands Perceptive Hands - 'Can Hands Be Perceptive? I Don't Think So' [The Mentalist] Perceptive Hands - 'Can Hands [Of Detective] Be Perceptive? I Don't Think So' [The Mentalist] Perceptive Hands Of An Archaeologist, Sturdy Hands Of A Rancher [Pam Chun] Perceptive Hands Of Masseuse Guided By 'Intuition' & 'Subtle Responses' [Laurel Duran] Perchance To Dream Perfect Fit Perfect Husband [Lisa Gardner] Perfect Idiot Perfect Imperfection Perfect Job - Less To Do, More Time To Do It In & More Pay For Not Getting It Done Perfect Marriage Is When Imperfect Couple Learns To Enjoy Their Imperfections Perfect Misfit Perfect Mismatch Perfect Mistake Perfect Screw-Up Perfect Situation Perfect Storm, Book About 1991 Halloween Nor’Easter 3 Factor Storm [S. Junger, 1997] Perfect Storm, Film With 47% Critical Approval Lacked Perfect Storm Of Critical Acclaim Perfect Storm First Used Positively, Such As ‘Perfect Storm Of Applause’ [Oxford Dict, 1718] Perfect Storm In 1936 Used To Describe 7 Factors Combining To Cause Port Arthur Flood Perfect Storm Of Applause [Oxford Dictionary, 1718] Perfect Storm Of Sympathy [Vanity Fair] Perfect Storm Of Trouble [NPR 2013] Perfect Storm Sandy At NYC Confluence Of Hurricane, Winter Storm, High Tide & Full Moon Perfect Storm Used To Refer To Financial Crisis Inherited By Obama Perfect Storm Usually Meteorologically Refers To ‘Worst-Case Scenario’ Perfect Wife Perfection Is Our Goal, Excellence Will Be Tolerated Perfection Of Means & Confusion Of Goals Seems To Characterize Our Age [Ralph Emerson] Perfectionist, One Who Takes Great Pains & Gives Them To Everyone Perfectly Awful Perfectly Horrid Perfectly Imperfect Perfectly Normal Perfectly Okay To Have Sex On Empty Stomach, Especially If It Belongs To Your Mate Perfectly Ridiculous 29
Perfectly Spherical Pumpkin Makes Good Pi Perfectly Wrong Performance Is Directly Affected By The Perversity Of Inanimate Objects Performers Recite At A Play & Play At A Recital Perm [Permanent Hair Treatment] Permanent Permanent Cease Fire Permanent Change Permanent Fad Permanent Guest Host Permanent Hotel Guest Permanent Loan Permanent Move Permanent Substitute Perpetual Motion Perpetual Obstacle To Human Advancement Is Custom [John Stuart Mill] Perpetual Optimism Is A Force Multiplier Perry Hit Us With P's Like Piñata & Ponzi, Now We Await His Q's Like Quarks [P's & Q's] Perseverance Is Not One Long Race, But Many Consecutive Short Ones Persia & Babylonia's Melodious Sounds Have Been Replaced By The Harsh Clangs Iran & Iraq Persia's Glorious Deity Ahura Mazda's Sole Modern Tribute Is Seemingly But A Small Jap Car Persia's Magnificent Deity Ahura's Successor Allah, Perchance Also Bares The Surname 'Mazda' Persian Puss Puss At Popular Pet Show Came In Last. Bad Show! Persian Puss Puss Petted & Popped, Came First At My House! Good Show! Persistent Ambivalence Person Is Known By The Company He Keeps Person Who Doesn't Vote Votes For The Winner! Person Who Is Nice To You But Mean To Strangers Is Not A Nice Person [Dave Barry] Person Who Knows How To Laugh At Himself Will Never Cease To Be Amused Person Who Never Made A Mistake Never Tried Anything New [Albert Einstein] Person Without Purpose Is Like A Ship Without A Rudder [Thomas Carlyle] Personal Ad Personal Business Personal Computer Personal Computing Personalized Form Letter Personally, I Like Two Types Of Men--Domestic & Foreign [Mae West] Person's A Person, No Matter How Small [Dr. Seuss] Perspective Is In The Eye Of The Beholder Perverse To First Visit Church In A Hearse Perversity Of Bath Law: Once Luxuriating In The Bath The Phone Will Ring Perversity Of The Inanimate [Piers Anthony] Perversity Of The Universe Tends To A Maximum Pesky Note: Johnny Pesky Of The Red Sox Passed Pessimist Complains About The Noise Of Opportunity Knocking Pessimist Complains About Wind, Optimist Expects Fair Winds, Realist Adjusts Sails 30
Pessimist Finds Difficulty In Each Opportunity, Optimist Opportunity In Each Difficulty Pessimist Is Man Who Has Been Compelled To Live With An Optimist [Elbert Hubbard] Pessimist Looks At The Land Of Milk & Honey & Sees Only Calories & Cholesterol Pessimist Makes Difficulties Of Opportunities, Optimist Opportunities Of Difficulties [Truman] Pessimist Thinks All Women Are Bad, Optimist Hopes They Are [Chauncey Mitchell Depew] Pessimistic Determinist Pessimistic Determinist Before Lunch May Be Optimistic Freewill Believer After [A. Huxley] Pessimistic Optimist Pessimistically Opportunistic Pessimist's Blood Type Is Always B-Negative Pessimists Feel All Women Are Bad, Pragmatists Know It & Optimists Hope So! Pet Cat Pet Fish Pet Fixed Pet Peeve Pet Rock Pet Slug Pet Store Held Bird Contest With No Perches Necessary Pet Store Sale: ‘Buy One, Get One Flea’ Pete Woodalls* Peter Parker’s Spiderman Bitten By Radioactive Araña & Turned Into Miles Morales Peter Principle Pettifogger, Quibbler Over Trivia Especially A Quibbling, Petty, Unscrupulous Lawyer Pettin’ The Pony Petty, Arrogant & Treat People Badly – Bad With People Petty Cash Petty Thieves Are Hung While The Great Ones Are Appointed To Public Office Pewees* Phantom Dinner John Jones Pharmacophobia - Fear Of Pharmacies, Pharmaceutics, Pot Farms(?) & Medications Phat Phuc Noodle Bar Restaurant [London, England] Phil ‘Harmonica Man’ Achille Plays His Classical Philharmonica At Philly Hoedowns Philadelphia Streets Are Safe, ‘It's Only The People Who Make Them Unsafe’ [Mayor Rizzo] Philip The Third Beheaded Servant Who Only Filled Up Two Wine Cups Philogelos: ‘Laughter-Lover' [300-400 AD] Philophobia - Fear Of Cupid's Arrow & Perhaps Cupid's Itch, To Wit, Fear Of Love Philosopher Cares Not Which Side His Bread Is Buttered On As He Eateth Both Sides Anyway Philosophy Of One Century Is The Common Sense Of The Next [Henry Ward Beecher] Philosophy Science Philosophy Gives Us Means Of Making Ourselves Admired By The Less Learned [Descartes] Philosophy Gives Us Means Of Speaking Plausibly About All Things [Descartes] Philosophy That Fits In A Nutshell Belongs There Phipps Conservatory In Pittsburgh Is First Green Greenhouse [Garden Life] Phipps Conservatory May Not Be Painted Green, Yet It's Truly A Green Greenhouse Pho King Delicious – Everybody Loves Pho King! [See End] Phobophobia & Panphobia - Former Is Fear Of All Phobias & Latter ‘Of Everything Else’ 31
Phobophobia Is The Fear Of Fear, Also The Fear Of Phobias [Greek: Φόβος - Phobos Or Fear] Phoenix, Bird Of Paradise, Renewed Each Century - Born In Flame, Ending In Flame! Phone Operator Replied To Customer Reporting A Nuisance Caller: ‘Not You Again’ Phone Sex Phonetic Isn't Spelled The Way It Sounds Phonics Of All Words Should Be, But Is Not Spelled The Way It Sounds Phonophobia - Fear Of Phonographs, Telephones & Other Loud Sounds Photographic Memories Rarely Get Developed Photographic Memory Failed Without Ability To Digitize Photoshop Eyes Betrayed Me, In Daylight He Was ‘Totally Unattractive’ [Karyn Bowman] Phrase That Heralds New Discoveries Isn't Eureka!, It's 'That's Funny ...' [Isaac Asimov] Phrasemaker [Woodrow Wilson] Physician Assisted Suicide Physician, Heal Thyself Physical Chemistry Physically Pffffffft! Piano Forte [Soft-Loud] Piano Player Is Called A Pianist, So Why Isn’t Race Car Driver Called A Racist? Pianoforte [Soft - Loud] Pick Battles Big Enough To Matter, Small Enough To Win [Jonathan Kozel] Picked Up A Boy Just South Of Mobile [‘Riding In The Gulf Of Mexico On A Seal’ - Cher] Picked Up That Book About Anti-Gravity & Just Can’t Put It Down Pickle, A Drunk Cucumber Pickle Can Never Be A Cucumber Again Pickle Is A Cucumber That’s Been Made Edible Pickle Is A Cucumber With Experience [Irena Chalmers] Pickle Me Grandmother! [Ted Bullpit] Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold Out, Selling Their Souls To The Devil & The Devil is Dill Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words Picture Paints A Thousand Words Pictures May Be Worth A 1000 Words, But Uses A 1000 Times The Memory Piddled Away A Piddling Amount Of Piddle Piece Of The Action For Peace Actuated Piers Anthony Punny Titles1: Crewel Lye - A Caustic Yarn, Harpy Thyme, Up in a Heaval Piers Anthony Punny Titles2: Geis of the Gargoyle, Heaven Cent, Currant Events, Night Mare Piers Anthony Punny Titles3: Roc & a Hard Place, Cube Route, Pet Peeve, Swell Foop Piers Anthony Punny Titles4: Golem in the Gears, The Dastard, Isle of View, Question Quest Piers Anthony Punny Titles5: Xone of Contention, Man from Mundania, Vale of the Vole Piers Anthony Punny Titles6: The Color of Her Panties, Zombie Lover, Faun & Games Piers Anthony Punny Titles7: Stork Naked, Air Apparent, Knot Gneiss, Well-Tempered Clavicle Pig Monument Thanks ‘This Wonderful Animal’ Said Kalach, Russia Meat Industry Director Pig Roast At Singles' Complex - Roastee Burst Into Flames Pig Roast At Singles' Complex - Roastee Burst Into Tears Pig Roast At Singles' Complex - Tasty Roastee Yummy In Tummy Pig Roast At Singles' Complex - Tasty Roastee Yummy On Tummy Pigeon's Milk 32
Pigeon-Toed, Undergrowed, Flyin' Purple People Eater [Sheb Wooley - Purple People Eater] Pigmy Elephant Pigmy Pig Pigmy Pygmy Pigs Are 'Cured' After They're Dead, Even When They Didn't Die From An Illness Pigs Can Be Boars Or Sows, Or Toes, Girls, Cops Or Chauvinists [Chauvinist Male Pigs] Pig's Ear Road [Md] Pigs-In-Blankets Are Not Pigs & They Are Not In Blankets Pigs-In-Blankets Are Not Pigs But Baby Hotdogs, Except Perhaps Pet Pot-Bellied Pigs PIIGS Crisis [Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece & Spain] Pike's Peak Peeking Out Of Clouds Pike's Piqué Exacerbated By Fabric Cut From Pique's Peaks Piercing Him Like A Piquet Pike Pike's Piqué Sparked Like Damp Firewood Pikey, Piky Or Piker, For Irish Traveller, Gypsy Or Itinerant Poor, All ‘Turnpike’ Users Pillage The Village If You Must, But I Trust You'll Never Burn The Tavern Pillow Talk Tonight, Pillow Belly Tomorrow Pilot Pilot Program Of Propeller Plane Pilots Piloting Jets Pilot Took Crash-Course In Crash Landings Piltdown Man ‘Dug Up’ Skull Fragments Most Famous Paleoanthropological Skullduggery Pin Pals Piñata Rick: 'I Kind Of Feel Like A Piñata Here' [Rick Perry] Pine Away, She Does, For The Lack Of Pine Or Apple In Pineapple Pink As A Baby’s Bottom Pink Cadillac Pink Eye Pink Lemonade Pink-Shits: Caucasians Who, While Having Pink Skin Color, Refer To Themselves As White Pink-Shits Is What He Called White People, Which Was Not Very White Of Him Pink Slime – ‘Lean Finely Textured Beef’ Pink Yellow Cab Spotted In Pittsburgh! Pinko Tending Towards Red Pinky Promise Pinnacle A Pediment Pinnacle Of Fame Pinnacled Pigmy Pious Atheist Pious Boloney [Newt Gingrich] Pipe Gives A Wise Man Time To Think & A Fool Something To Suck On Piquéd His Curiosity Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest - Heart-Healthy Treasure Box [2006] Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest - Punctured In Three Places Pirates Were Off Yesterday - That Day They Were Spared The Humiliation Of Defeat Pirates Were Off Yesterday - They Played Even Worse Than They Did In Pittsburgh Pirouetting Sumo Wrestler Pisher, Yiddish For A Little Pisser, A Nobody, An Inexperienced Person Piss Artist 33
Piss Away Piss Down Piss Off Pissed Pissed Off Pissed Off Pissing Pisser Pisser Pisser Pissed & Pissed Off Pisshead Pissing Like A Bandit Pisspot Pistachios, When Divided The Nuts Come Out [Colbert] Pit Bull & St. Bernard Hybrid Rips Your Arm Off & Then Goes For Help! Pitter-Patter Pitter-Patter Of Little Feet Pitter-Patter , Pitter-Patter, She Farted! Pittsburg, CA Had The 'H' Kicked Out Of It, Unlike Pittsburgh, PA Which Reverted Back To 'H' Pittsburg, PA De-H'ed In 1890 By U.S. Board on Geographic Names Ordering 'Order' Pittsburg , PA Had The 'H' Put Back in 1911 by Relentless Campaign Of Citizen Action Pittsburg[h], PA: 'Hell With The Lid Taken Off' [James Parton, Atlantic Monthly, January 1868] Pittsburgh, PA ‘Birmingham Of America-Bright Flames Issuing From Foundries’ [P. Hone 1847] Pittsburgh, PA Ranked U.S. Most Livable City 1985, 2005, 2007 2009, 2010, 2011 By Some.Pub Pittsburgh, PA ‘There Is A Great Deal Of Smoke In It’ [Charles Dickens, April 1842] Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger Sacked At least 14 Times In 2011 & Still Working! Pittsburghers 'Redd Up' At Clean Up Time Pity Its An Epitome Pity Its An Epitome Of An Epidemy Pity She's a Whore M’Lord Pity The Leader Caught Between Unloving Critics & Uncritical Lovers [John Gardner] Pity The Meek, For They Shall Inherit The Earth [Don Marquis] Place For Everything & Everything In Its Place Place One Digit In Rima Oris & One In Buns & Switch Place To Be Happy Is Here & The Time To Be Happy Is Now Places Aren't Haunted, People Are Haunted [Ghost Whisperers] Plagiarism Is Stealing The Work Of One Person, Research Is Stealing The Work Of Many Plain Complex Plain Cooking Can’t Be Trusted To Plain Cooks [Countess Morphy] Plain Fudge Plan A - Abstention *Plan B - Breakfasting On The Morning After Pill *Plan C - Condom, Timely Utilized *Plan F - Fatherhood Plan Ahead, It Wasn’t Raining When Noah Built The Ark Plan Is Only As Strong As Its Missing Link [Duffy's Tavern] Plan Is Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link Plan To Be Spontaneous – Tomorrow 34
Plan To Be Surprised Plan Your Work & Work Your Plan Plane Landed On Runway After Runaway Takeoff Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told [Headline – Duh?] Planets In 'Goldilocks Zone' May Have Liquid Water [500 To Date Discovered] Planned Anarchy Planned Catastrophe Planned Chaos Planned Coincidence Planned Entropy Planned Exodus Planned Obsolescence Planned Parenthood Planned Serendipity Planned Spontaneity Planned Surprise Planning My Future Saves Me From Regretting My Past Plant A Radish, Get A Radish; Plant A Cabbage Get A Cabbage; Plant An Idea .... Plant A Radish, Get A Radish; Plant A Doubt, Get A Dubiety Plenty Sits Still, Hunger Is A Wanderer [Zulu Proverb] Plastic Board Plastic Cork Plastic Drop Cloth Plastic Flowers Plastic Glasses Plastic Grass Plastic Lemons Plastic Not Cash Accepted Here Plastic Silverware Plastic Straw Plastic Surgeon Plastic Surgeon After Removing Chin Dimple Charged With 'Cleft Of Property’ Plastic Surgery By Doctor Favoring Picasso Is Ill Advised Plastic-Ware Is Nostalgically Called Silverware Or Glasses Plastic Wood Plastic Wood Blocks Plateau Is A High Form Of Flattery Platitude, A Truth Repeated Till People Get Tired Of Hearing It [Stanley Baldwin] Platonic Love Affair Platonic Love Affair – Friends With Benefits Platonic Relationship Develops After Screwing Around Is Done Platypus Platypus Chagrinned When Found With Egg On His Puss Play Dead Play It Again, Sam Play It Again, Sam [New York State Lottery] 35
Play Responsibly Play Succeeded, Audience Failed Play Till It Hurts Play With A Guillotine & You'll Beheaded For An Accident Played Out Played Poker All Night With Tarot Cards, I Got A Full House & Four People Died Player Coach Player Fined For Using Obscure Language To Umpire [Sarasota Morning Star] Player Piano Player's Please! [John Player & Sons] Playing It Safe Is The Most Popular Way To Fail Plea Bargain Pleasant Countenance Pleasant Hell Pleasantly Confused Pleasantly Plump Please All & You Will Please None [Aesop] Please Be Quiet. We Need To Hear A Pin Drop [Bowling Alley Sign] Please Don't Interrupt Me While I’m Ignoring You Please Don't Interrupt Me While I’m Interrupting You Please, Keep Talking, I'll Yawn When I Am Interested Please Leave Oxford On The Next Down Drain [Town Train] Please Leave Oxford On The Next Town Drain [Down Train] Please See 4 DIE On Page 22A [Dallas Morning News] Please Sew Me To Another Sheet [Show Me To Another Seat] Please Tell Me To 'Stuff It', I’m A Taxidermist Please Tell Your Pants It’s Not Polite To Point! Please Turn The Lights Off When You're Away From Home Pleased To Meet You, We Have Meat To Please You [Coraopolis Cash Market] Pleasing Pain [Edmund Spenser] Pleasing Punishment Pleasing Punishment That Women Bear [Shakespeare] Pleasure's A Sin & Sometimes Sin's A Pleasure [Lord Byron] Plenty Of Time To Sleep When You Are Dead [Gustav Graves To 007] Pleonasm Causes Verboseness & Verbosity, Is Itself A Pleonasm Pliant Nature Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, Oh What A Relief It Is! [Alka Seltzer] Plotz, To Burst/Explode From Overeating, Excitement, Anticipation [Yiddish-‘Crack’] Plough Deep While Sluggards Sleep [Benjamin Franklin] Plumber's Truck #1: 'Don't Sleep With A Drip - Call Your Plumber' Plumber's Truck #2: 'We Repair What Your Husband Fixed' Plunder & Pillage Plural Of Spouse Is Spice, A Mormon Adage? Plurality Should Not Be Posited Without Necessity [Occam's Razor] Plus Size Pluto, A Dwarf Of A Planet, Became The Planet That Never Was, Poor Little Pluto 36
Pluto Discovered In 1930 Was Named ‘Planet Pluto’ After Roman God Of Underworld Pluto Disney ‘Dog Star’ First A ‘Rover’ In Minnie Mouse's The Picnic [1930] Pluto Never Anthropomorphized By Disney, Except For Saying The Word ‘Kiss’ Pluto, Or Pluto The Pup, May Have Caused Popeye's Bluto To Become Brutus Pluto Roman God Of The Underworld, Know Sometimes To Greeks As Hades Plutocracy Is Political Control Of The State By An Oligarchy Of The Wealthy Plutocracy Translates 'Rule By Pluto The Ruler Of The Underworld' Plutocratics Organized Governments So They Are Run By The Wealthy PlutoCritics Organized Universe So Pluto Would Be Demoted To A Dwarf Planet PlutoCritics So Organized Things By Claiming Pluto Has Not ‘Cleared It's Neighborhood’ Plutonium Is A Radioactive Element Isolated In 1940, With Symbol Pu & Atomic Number 94 PMS Is Not Called MCD Because MCD [Mad Cow Disease] Was Already Taken PMS Jokes Aren’t Funny - PERIOD! Pocket Borough Podiatrist Cautions 'Time Wounds All Heels' Poetry Is A Mixture Of Common Sense ... With An Uncommon Sense [John Masefield] Poetry Written Backwards Is An Old Testament Poetry Written In A Single Is Universal Poetry Written Upside-Down Is Inverse Poets Are Backwards Authors, They Write In Verse Poet's Hope: To Be Like Some Valley Cheese, Local, But Prized Elsewhere [W. H. Auden] Poets Who Are Hebrews Are The Best, They Write Inverse Pogo For President Point Blank Range Point In Time Pointed-Ear Vulky [Star Trek] Pointless Hilarity Pointless Hilarity, But It's A Good Pic For Just Laughs Poker Rules: A .44 Magnum Beats 4 Aces Polack, English Demonym Pole, For Polish From Poland, Not The Pole(S) Or A Long Rod Polar Bears Are All Left Handed NOT, But They Use One Paw To Hide Black Nose From Prey Polack, Swedish Demonym Also Being Polack, So No Fishy Polack Here Police Action Police After Great Toilet Seats Theft Had Nothing To Go On Police Are Looking Into Hole In The Nudist Camp Wall Police Arrest Mime, Telling Him He 'Has The Right To Remain Silent Police Arrested Transvestite, Charging Him With Male Fraud Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers [Headline] Police Blotter Police Blotters Recorded Plotter’s Plots, Blots On His Record Record! Police Brutality Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers [Headline - Overkill!/?] Police Cuteality [See Doggie On Patrol At End] Police Dogs Are Scenters Of Drug Arrests Police Horse Only Animal With Asshole In Middle Of Back [Mafia Saying] Police Intelligence 37
Police Looked Into Hole In Nudist-Camp Wall & Got Eyeful Police Protection Police Science Police Suspect Cereal Killing Of Dead Girl In Milk Bath With Popped Cherry Police Urinal -- Dicks Hang Out Here Polish American Polish Polisher Must Polish The Polish Furniture Politics Doesn't Make Strange Bedfellows, Marriage Does [Groucho Marx] Polite Cabby Polite Conversation Is Seldom Either Polite Insult Polite Salesman Politely Insulting Political Community Is Most Perfect In Which Middle Class Is In Control.[Aristotle] Political Cooperation Political Correctness Political Ethics Political Leadership Political Maneuvers ‘Can Overcome Common Sense' [Frank Verrastro] Political Party Political Power Is As Permanent As Today's Newspaper Political Promise Political Rules: Get Elected; Get Re-Elected; & If Don't Don't Get Mad - Get Even Political Science Political Scientist Political Solutions Political Spectrum Is Circular Not Linear - Far Right & Far Left Are Handholding Kissing Kin! Political Success Requires Rising Above Your Principals Political Success Requires Rising Above Your Principles Political Trust Political Will Politically Correct Politically Remote Politician Divides Mankind Into Two Classes, Tools & Enemies [Friedrich Nietzsche] Politician Is ‘Running ... For A Seat’ [Frank & Ernest] Politician Needs Ability To Foretell What's To Happen & Explain Why It Didn't [W. Churchill] Politician Shakes Your Hand Before Elections & Your Confidence Afterwards Politician When ‘We Thought He Was Out They Polled Him Back In’ [Frank & Ernest] Politician Will Endeavor To Get Out Of Everything Except Office Politicians & Diapers For The Same Reason Need To Be Changed Regularly Politicians Are Interested In People As Fleas Are Interested In Dogs Politicians Can Be Dangerous To Your Wealth & Anti-Medicare Ones To Your Health! Politicians Do It To Everyone They Can Politicians Like Diapers Need To Be Changed Frequently & For The Same Reason Politicians Will Stand For What Voters Will Fall For Politics Ain’t Bean-Bag [Finley Peter Dunne - 1895] 38
Politics Ain’t Bean-Bag, ‘Tis A Man’s Game [Finley Peter Dunne - 1895] Politics: ‘An’ Women, Childer, Cripples An’ Prohybitionists ‘D Do Well To Keep Out Iv It’ [FD] Politics Combines 'Poly' - 'Many' & 'Ticks - 'Blood Sucking Parasites'[Larry Hardiman] Politics Doesn't Make Strange Bedfellows, Marriage Does [Marx Groucho] Politics Have Always Been The Systematic Organization Of Hatreds [Henry Brooks Adams] Politics Have No Relation To Morals [Niccolo Machiavelli] Politics Is The Art Of Rising Above Your Principles Polk The Plodder [James K. Polk] Polls, Nah! They’re For Strippers & Cross Country Skiers {Sarah Palin] Pollution Is Nothing But Resources We're Not Harvesting [R. Buckminster Fuller] Pollution's Not Harming Environment, It's The Impurities In Our Air & Water [MAD Mag] Polymastia, Three Is Better Than Two, One Would Think Polynesia Is Memory Loss In Parrots Pom Or Pohm, British Émigré To New Zealand For Perhaps 'Prisoner Of Her Majesty' Pom Or Pommie, British Émigré To Australia For Perhaps 'Prisoner Of Mother England' Pom, Pommy Or Pommie Grant: Or Perhaps Pomegranate Rhyming With English Immigrant Poncy Drill Sergeant Pony Is As Healthy As A Horse Pony-Tailed Cutie-Pie [Maidel Mit A Vayndel] Ponzi Rick: Social Security 'Is A Monstrous Lie. It Is A Ponzi Scheme' [Rick Perry] Ponzi Scheme Poo Poo Sandwich Poo Poo Sandwich: Obama ‘Handed A Total Poo Poo Sandwich Of An Economy’ [JnnyThndrs] Pooh-Pooh Pooh-Pooh His Politics, Call Him A Fool? [Gwendolyn Brooks] Pooh-Pooh Smiles On The Gulliby Isles & ‘The Rumbletum Bunders Roar’ [Chas Edward Carryl] Pooh-Pooh Whatever's Fresh & New, & Declare It's Crude & Mean [Sir Wm Schwenck Gilbert] Pooh-Poohing Alone Is A Court Martial Offense! [Blackadder] Pool Maintenance Company Job Bottomed Out, The Work Was Just Too Draining Pool Table Poon Palace Restaurant [Sweden] Poop Deck Poopdeck Pappy: His Mother Ups & Dies, & He Wouldn't Eat His Spinach *Popeye: She Choked On It, Pop *Poopdeck Pappy: His Poppa Out Of Work, & He Wouldn't Eat His Spinach Poor Fish, A Fish Of Inferior Quality Or Edibility Poor Fish, A Stupid Person Poor Health Poor Intelligence Poor King Poor Little Rich Girl Poor Little Rich Kid Poor Millionaire Poor Opinion I Have Of Myself Is So Little Deserved [W. S. Gilbert] Poor Peter Parker Was Pitiful [Weird Al Yankovic - 'Requiem For A Superhero'] Poor Planning On Your Part Does Not Constitute An Emergency On My Part 39
Poor Prince Poor Rich Kid Poor Televangelist Poor Tool Always Blames His Workers Poor Workman Always Blames His Tools Pootie-Poot [Bush II For Russian President Vladimir Putin] Pootie Tang Pop [Soda] Pop Art Pop Punk Pop Quiz Was The Surprise On The Class Trip To The Coca-Cola Factory Pope Benedict XVI Before White Puff At His Election Was Asked: 'What Are You Smoking?' Pope Defrocked Reputedly By Vatican 300-Page Report On Corruption, Blackmail & Gay Sex Popped One's Clogs Poppy [George H. W. Bush] Popular Culture Popular Documentary Popular Mechanics Popular Plus Copulate Equal Populate! Popular Woman Is One Who Shows Herself Eating An Ice Cream Cone With Enthusiasm Popularity Is The One Insult I Have Never Suffered [Oscar Wilde] Population Control Population, When Unchecked, Increases In A Geometrical Ratio [Malthus] Pork Pork Barrel Pork Barrel Polka Pork Her P.O.R.K.: Parents Of Religious Kids For Jewish Parents Whose Kids Embrace Christianity??? *P.O.R.K.: No! No! It’s For Jewish Parents Whose Kids Embrace Jewish Ultra-Orthodoxy!!! Pork, The Other White Meat Portmanteaus Are Combinations Of Words & Meanings Such As Breakfast & Lunch - Brunch Portmanteaus Are Combinations Of Words & Meanings Such As Motor & Hotel – Motel Positive Anything Is Better Than Negative Nothing/Thinking [Elbert Hubbard] Positive Attitude Towards Destructive Habit Was Rewarded By A Cigarette Allowance Positive Defeat Positive Expectations Yield Negative Result, Or Do They? Positive Expectations Yield Positive Results Positive Link Between Fish Oil Supplements & Cognitive Function [Lifespan] - Positive: Yea! Positive Link Between Saturated Fat & Sudden Cardiac Death [David Liu] - Positive: Nay! Positive Link Can, Therefore, Come From Negative Linkage Results Too - What A Language! Positive Resistance Positively Cynical Positively Depressing Positively Malevolent Positively Negative Positively Neutral 40
Positively Pessimistic Positively Wrong Positivist Perspective Possession Is Eleven Points Of The Law[Out Of 12] Possession Is Nine Points Of The Law[Out Of 10] Possession Is Nine-Tenths Of The Law Possible Finality Possibility Limits Are Only Discoverable By Going Beyond Them Into The Impossible Possum On A Gum Bush [The Dukes Of Hazzard] Post-Consumer Materials Post Feminist Post-Marital Agreement Post Modern Post Proelium, Praemium [After The Battle, The Reward] Postage Stamp's Virtue Is Its ‘Ability To Stick To One Thing Till It Gets There’ [Josh Billings] Postal Efficiency Postal Service Postal Service Goes Postal Postal Worker Postcorital Haze [Bones] Poster Child For Birth Control Posthumous Conception Pot [Cooking] Pot [Marijuana] Pot Belly Pot Hole Pot In Every Chicken Pot Likker Pot Liquor Pot Luck Pot Metal Pot Party Pot Plant Pot Pliant Pot Roast Pot To Piss In POTación De Guaya [“Drink Of Grief"-- From Whence Came "Pot/Weed"] Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut A Deal [Associated Press] Potboy Pothole Potholer Pothouse Pothunter Potlatch Potlatch, Destroying Valuable Resources Intentionally To Accumulate Status [Amerind] Potlatch, Fastener Attaching Pot Over Fire Or To Stove 41
Potlatch, Latchkey Kids Smoking Pot At Home While Unsupervised Potluck Potluck Potlatch Potman Potomania Potoroo Potos Flavus Potpie Potpie Potpourri Potsherd Potshot Potsticker, Mrs. Humphrey Who Couldn't 'Get Her Bum Free' [7 Old Ladies Locked In Lavatory] Potstickers Potstickers, Chinese Pan Fried Dumplings [Guotie] In Their North American Guise Potstickers, Those Who Sticks To Their Pot Addictions Despite Rehabilitation Attempts Potted Potted On Alice B. Toklas Pot Pies Potted Plant Potter Potter's Field Potty Potty Mouth POTUS [President Of The United States] Poultry In Motion Sums Up The Chicken Crossing Road Teaser Pound For Pound, The Amoeba Is The Most Vicious Animal On Earth Poverty Breeds Discontent Poverty Is The Normal Condition Of Man [Robert Heinlein] Power Behind The Throne Powdered Milk Powdered Water Power Attracts People But Honey Holds Them Power Attracts People But It Cannot Hold Them Power Corrupts, Absolute Power Is Kind Of Neat [US Secretary Of Navy John Lehman] Power Corrupts & Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely Power Corrupts & Atomic Power Corrupts Atomically Power Corrupts & ‘Powerlessness Also Corrupts' [William Greider] Power Corrupts, But We Need Electricity [Haythum R. Khalid] Power Corrupts, Though Absolute Power Is Sorta Neat Power Doesn't Corrupt People, People Corrupt Power [William Gaddis] Power Is The Great Aphrodisiac [Henry Kissinger] Power Is What You Can Control, Freedom Is What You Can Unleash [Harriet Rubin] Power Nap Power Of People Vs. People In Power Power Of Silence Power Per Conventional Wisdom Is An Aphrodisiac, In Truth It's Exhausting 42
Power Tends To Corrupt, Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely [Lord Acton] Power Walk Powergenitalia.Com [Powergen Italia Battery Company Web Address] Practical Experience Practical Idealist [Isadora Duncan] Practical Joke Practical Joker Practical Logic Practical Nurse Practical Nurse Is One Who Marries A Wealthy, Terminally Ill Patient Practical Parenting Practical Politics Practical Politics Consists In Ignoring Facts [Henry Adams] Practically Useless Practice Bundling Practice Doesn't Make Perfect, Just Increases Your Repertoire To Recover From Mistakes Practice Game Practice Makes Imperfect Man Perfect Practice Makes Perfect Practice Makes Perfect, & Perfect Is A Fault, & Fault Lines Change [REM] Practice Makes Perfect, But Nobody's Perfect - So Why Practice? Practice Makes Perfect, So Be Careful What You Practice Practice Of Law Practice Of Medicine Practice Random Acts Of Intelligence & Senseless Acts Of Self-Control Practice Safe Eating - Always Use Condiments Practice Safe Sex Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself Practice Safe Sex, Lock It Up Safely In A Chastity Belt Safe Practice Teacher Practice Test Practice What You Preach Practiced Safe Sex? Practice Safe Cracking Of Safely Sealed Off Cracks! Practicing Attorney Practicing Catholic Practicing Physician Praise Allah, Exclaimed Palestinian In North Ireland When His Captive Claimed To Be Jewish Praise The Lord & Pass The Ammunition Prayer Is Prayer Even In The Wrong Denomination Praying Mantis, He Didn’t Have A Prayer Praying Mantis’ Prayer Was Answered & Then He Lost His Head Praying Mantis’ Prayer Was Answered, She Ate Head Praying Mantis’ Prey Didn’t Have A Prayer Pre-Literate History Pre-Medicated Murder Pre-Owned Automobile 43
Pre-School Graduation Pre-School School Prebuscent - A Prepuberty Or Underdeveloped Tartlet Or Tweenage Lass Precept, Study, Advice & Example Never Teach So Well As Failure [Samuel Smiles] Precious Junk Precious Ores 'Were In Great Abundance' But 'Were Not To Be Found' [2 Nephi 5:15-16] Precious Trinkets Precipitous Action, Something You Do When You're All Wet [Don Daniels] Precise Estimate Precision Bombing Precision Thinking Predictably Random Predestination Was Doomed From The Start Predictably Unpredictable Prepare To Fail If You Fail To Prepare Prediction Is Very Hard, Especially About Future [Yogi Bear] Preemptive Reaction Preemptive Self-Defense Preemptive Strike Prefab Home Prefabricated Home Preference For Agreement Pregged Out Prehensile Employers Stingy Prehensile Monkeys Hang Around Prehensile Poets Strangely Gifted Prejudice Is Ignorance Matured To Manure Prejudice Is The Child Of Ignorance Prejudiced People Are All Alike Prejudices Are What Fools Use For Reason Preliminary Conclusion Preliminary Final Premature Ejaculation Premature Ejaculation - That's A Crime Of Passion, Not Murdering Your Lover Premeditated Murder Premeditated Spontaneity Premenstrual Period Prepare To Fail If You Fail To Prepare Prepare To Want One [Hyundai] Preponderance Of The Evidence Preposterous [Before - Behind] Preposition, College Professor Said To His Class, 'Is A Bad Word To End A Sentence With' Preposition Ending Sentence Ban Is A ‘Superstition’ & 'Spurious Rule’ [Bryan Garner] Preposition Not Ending Sentence Myth ‘Is A Remnant Of Latin Grammar’ [Bryan Garner] Preposition Rhetoric Guide Here Suggests Ending Strong To Drive Point Home [Bryan Garner] Prepositions Are Not Words To End Sentences With 44
Preposterous Preposterous Certainty Preppin’ The Baby Maker Present Cannot Be Taken Charge Of Unless You Stop Reliving The Setbacks Of The Past Present Shock [Douglas Rushkoff] Present The Present At This Time As There Is No Time Like The Present Presently Gone Preservational Development Preserve Ecology, Seal It In Non-Biodegradable Plastic President Bush Today Declared Victory In The 'War On Jobs' [Craig Kilborn] President De Facto [Rutherford B. Hayes] President Malaise [Jimmy Carter] President Of The U.S. Original Title: His High Mightiness … & Protector Of Their Liberties President Of The U.S. Original Title Quickly Changed To: Mr. President President Of The United States In Congress Assembled [Continental Congress] President Reagan: ‘We've Had Some Sex...Uh...Setbacks’ [Geo HW Bush] President Who Walked On Water Would See Headline: ‘President Can't Swim’ [LBJ] Presidential Debate Presidential Inaugural Fare 1: Steamed Lobster With New England Clam Chowder Sauce Presidential Inaugural Fare 2: Hickory Grilled Bison With Red Potato Horseradish Cake Presidential Inaugural Fare 3: Apple Pie With Sour Cream Ice Cream, Aged Cheese & Honey Presidential Promises Presidential Robo-Signing Of U.S. Military Officers’ Commissions By Auto -Pen Press Any Key To Continue - Or Any Other Key To Abort Press Enter To Exit Press Release Presumptively He Missed The Train, Sitting There With Egg On His Face Pretend To Spank Me, I’m A Pseudo-Masochist! Prettiest Dresses Are Worn To Be Taken Off [Jean Cocteau] Pretty Bad Pretty Disgusting Pretty Girl Who Naked Is Is Worth A Million Statues [E.E. Cummings] Pretty Is As Pretty Does Pretty Is As Pretty Does Depending On Whose Doing Her Pretty Please With a Cherry On Top Pretty Sick Pretty Smart Pretty Smiles Do Not Mean Friendliness Pretty Sorry Looking Pretty Ugly Pretty Women Can Do Anything, Ugly Women Must Do Everything Pretzel Walking In A Tough Neighborhood Was A-Salted Preventable Accident Preventable Death Prevention Is Better Than Cure Previous History 45
Price Is What You Pay, Value Is What You Get [Warren Buffett] Price Of Freedom Is Eternal Vigilance [Thomas Jefferson] Price Of Greatness Is Responsibility [Winston Churchill] Price Of Liberty Is Eternal Vigilance Priceless Heirloom Priceless Junk Pride Goes Before A Fall Pride Is What We Have, Vanity Is What Others Have [Bumper Sticker] Priest In Fatal Crash Improves [Lakeland Ledger] Priests Must Apply The Correct Syn-Tax Priests Sexting - Better Sex Be First Covered-Up, Than Uncovered! Priests Sexting - Better Sex Be First Covered-Up, Then Uncovered! Primaried Primary Conclusion Primary Function Of Design Engineer Is To Confuse Fabricator & Fool Serviceman Prime Candidate For Natural Deselection Has Delusions Of Adequacy Prime Directive: No Interference With Development Or Reference To Other Worlds [Star Trek] Prime Directive: Whatever Happens, Act As If It Were Intended Prime Motivation For All Human Behavior Is Need To Feel Superior To Someone Else Primitive Culture Primitive Technology Prince Arthur [Chester A. Arthur] Prince Charles Auston-Martin Runs On Waste Wine, Whines Austin The Wasted Fuel Syphoner Princess Educated One Knight At A Time Princess, Having Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Principle Of Sufficient Reason Principled Principal Printed On Allegedly Blank Page: 'This Page Intentionally Left Blank' Prison Cell Cell Phone Prison Cell Phone Prison Life Prisoner Who Paints In Jail Has Brush With The Law Prisoners Complain Behind Bars, Husbands Complain In Them Prisoners Like Periods, They Mark The End Of Sentences [.] Prisoners Of Addiction & Prisoners Of Envy Are The Slaves In A Consumer Society Pristine Bullshit Private Citizen Private Community Private E-Mail Private Eye [PI] Private Public Opinion Poll Private Public Record Privy Privacy Privy Privileges Pro Forma Business Plan Pro Is To Con As Progress Is To Congress 46
Pro-Active Pro-Choice Pro-Choicers Choose Abolishment Of Capital Punishment Pro-Choicers Choose Abolishment Of Death Penalty Pro-Contra Pro Is To Con As Progress Is To Congress Pro-Life Pro-Lifers For Capital Punishment Pro-Lifers For Death Penalty Probability Dispersal Law Decrees That What Hits The Fan Won't Be Evenly Distributed Probability Is Inversely Proportional To Desirability Probability Of Anything Happening Is In Inverse Ratio To Its Desirability Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved, Problem Halved Is A Problem Snared Problem Solved Problem Well Stated Is A Problem Half Solved [Charles F. Kettering] Problem With Gene Pool Is That There Is No Lifeguard Problem With Paradigms Is That Shift Happens Problem With Real Life Is That There's No Reset Button [Donald E. Westlake] Problem With The Future Is It Turns Into The Present Problems Are Not Stop Signs, They Are Guidelines [Robert H. Schuller] Problems Are Only Opportunities In Work Clothes [Henry J. Kaiser] Problems Mostly Have Either Many Solutions Or No Solution Problems Rarely Have A Single Solution Problem's Solution Changes The Nature Of The Problem Problems That Go Away By Themselves, Come Back By Themselves Problems Worthy Of Attack Prove Their Worth By Attacking Back Problems Worthy Of Attack Prove Their Worth By Hitting Back Procedural Variations Proceed ‘With Sustained Effort, Controlled Attention & Concentrated Energy’ [Paul J. Meyer] Procrastinate Now! Procrastination Is The Art Of Keeping Up With Yesterday [Don Marquis] Procrastination Is The Thief Of Time [Edward Young] Procrastinate Today, Tomorrow May Be Too Late! Procrastination Avoids Boredom, There's Never A Feeling There's Nothing To Do Procrastination Is The Nemesis Of Success Procrastination Is The Art Of Keeping Up With Yesterday Procrastination Places The Responsibility For Termination On Someone Else Procrastinators Unite - Tomorrow! Proctologists Called, They Found Your Head [Bumper Sticker] Proctologist's Door Advises: ‘To Expedite Your Visit Please Back In' Produce Is The Product They Will Produce On The Produce Farm Produce Manager Is More Important To Child's Health Than The Pediatrician [Meryl Streep] Producing Female Producing Manager Product Designed To Fail: Goldman Sachs Pushing Subprime Mortgages On Clients 47
Production Meeting Productivity Committee Products Destined To Fail Will Have Delivery Systems That Perform Perfectly Profanity Is The True Lingua Franca Profanity Sucks Professional Amateur Professional Bum Professional Courtesy Professional Dispute Professional Hobo Professional Is Someone Who Can Do His Best Work When He Doesn't Feel Like It Professional Jealousy Professional Men, They Have No Cares, Whatever Happens They Get Theirs [Ogden Nash] Professional Realtor Professional Sports Professional Student Professional Temp Professional Thief Professional Wrestling Professional-Sport Wrestling Professor Is One Who Talks In Someone Else’s Sleep Profilactics Profitable Gambling Profligately Destitute Profound Truth's Opposite Is Profound Truth; Triviality’s Opposite Is Obviously Absurd [N Bohr] Profoundly Ignorant Profoundly Stupid Profundities Recondite & Abstruse Not Acceptable Profundity Of The Mind Was By A Mile Profundity Of The Mime Was By A Mile Profundity Of The Mine Was All But A Mile Program-Length Commercial Programmer Solves A Problem You Didn't Know You Had In A Way You Don't Understand Programmers Don't Byte, They Just Nibble A Bit Programs Will Expand To Fill Available Memory Progress Is Made On Alternate Fridays Progress Is Our Most Important Product [General Electric] Progress Is When Each Mistake You Make Is A New One Progress Might Have Been Alright Once, But It Has Gone On Too Long [Ogden Nash] Progressing Backward Progressive Conservative Progressive Conservative - Oxymoron [James W.J. Bowden] Progressive Decay Progressive Decline Progressive Ideas Progressive Politician 48
Progressive Tax Progressively Worse Progresso® NEW Traditional Chicken & Orzo With Lemon Soup Prohibition Is Better Than No Liquor At All [Will Rogers] Prohibitionist Is Sort Of Man One Wouldn't Drink With, Even If He Drank [H.L. Mencken] Prohibitionist Who Arrested Whisky-Making Gal Loved Her Still Project Phases – First Three: 1) Enthusiasm, 2) Disillusionment & 3) Panic Project Phases – Second Three: 4) Seek Guilty, 5) Punish Innocent & 6) Praise Uninvolved Proletarian Dictatorship Proletarian Dictatorship Is Never Proletarian [Will & Ariel Durant] Proliferation Of New Laws Creates A Proliferation Of New Loopholes Promiscuous Nun Promises Are Often Checks Drawn On An Account With Insufficient Funds Pronounced Silence Proof Is In The Pudding Proof Is In The Pudding, Said Holmes Pulling Out The Missing Puzzle Piece Proof Of The Pudding Is In The Diving Of The Muff Proof Of The Pudding Is In The Eating Proof Of The Pudding Is In The Eating, By Small Sample We May Judge The Whole [Cervantes] Proof That Evolution Can Devolve Prophecy Is Optional Folly [George Will] Prophet Is Not Recognized In His Own Time Prophet? No, A Not For Profit! Prophetic Prophets Make Sure Of What's Going To Happen First Prophylactic Drug Prophylactic Sheath Prophylactic Symbol Prophylactic Vaccines Proprietary Standard Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff [Headline - Ouch!, Aaah! Or Uh Oh!] Prosecutorial Discretion Prosecutorial Misconduct Prosecutorial Nonfeasance Prostitute Who Likes Bondage Is Strapped For Cash Prostitute With Her Hand In Her Own Panties Is 'Self Employed' Prostitutes Appeal To Pope [Monterey Herald Sun - Hubba-Hubba!] Protect Our Oceans - Put Diapers On Whales! Protect The Guilty Protect Your Bagels, Put Lox On Them [Bagel Connection, New Haven, CT] Protestants Do Not Have Catholic Mass Protons Have Mass & Are Catholic [Universal] Proud Humility [Edmund Spenser] Proud That I Can Resist Six Of The Seven Deadly Sins [IronHerder] Proven Theory Proverb Is A Short Sentence Based On Long Experience Provisional Fait Accompli 49
Prudent, Cautious Self-Control, Is Wisdom's Root [Robert Burns] Prudent Question Is One Half Of Wisdom Prumphænsn [Icelandic: A ‘Fart-Chicken’] Prune Is A Plum That Has Seen Better Days, Whether It Be Called A Dried Plum Or A Prune Pseudo-Scientific Gobbledygook & Pontifical Hooey Pshaw [P’Shaw] - George Bernard’s Son Paul - ‘A P’Shaw Thing’ Pshaw [P’Shaw] - ‘Whatever You Say’, Said With Attitude [School For Scandal] Psychiatric Care Psychiatrist Advise Nudist 'I Can Clearly See You're Nuts' Psychiatrist Asks A Lot Of Expensive Questions Your Wife Asks For Nothing [Joey Adams] Psychiatrists' Fruit Baskets Are Shrink-Wrapped Psychic Friends Network Never Saw Bankruptcy Coming Psychic Killed By Train [Headline] Psycho-Rhetoric Psycho-Rhetoric Extraordinaire: 'Pro-Capital Punishment & Pro-Life' Psychoanalysis Is A Permanent Fad [Peter De Vries] Psychological Imperative Psychological Imperative: Always Pee When You Have The Chance Psychologist Watches Everyone Else When A Beautiful Girl Enters The Room Puberty Is When Boys Say Goodbye To Boyhood & Looks Forward To Adultery Public Companies Blunder In Blinders While Private Companies Plunder In Perpetuity Public Debt ... The Greatest Of Dangers To Be Feared [Thomas Jefferson] Public Has More Interest In Punishment For An Injury Than In Who Is Actually Punished Public Opinion Public Privy Public Relations Public School Education Public Schools Public Seating Law: Further From An Aisle The More The Restlessness To Leave One's Seat Public Secret Public Secretary Public Sector Enterprise Public Servant Public Service Public Speaking: Nice Guys Finish Fast Publicity Good Or Bad Is Good Publicity Publish Or Die Publish Or Die, Die To Publish! Publish Or Lie Puff Stock Puffed Beyond Puffery Puffery Puffery Poo, Snarled Alice [BJL] Puffinus Puffinus Puffies - Distended, Pleasantly Plump, Pointy, Fearless, Suck-Till-You-Drop Nipples Puffies - Pleasing Pair Of Puppies Protruding Predominately From Puberty To Pregnancy 50
Pulp Fiction Pump Head Pump’erNickel, Prime’erDime – The BreadWorks Pumping & Dumping [Stock Manipulation Technique Attributed To Romney - Daily Show] Pumping & Dumping [Using Breast Pump To Empty Breasts & Then Throwing Out Milk] Pumpkin To You [Ukrainian No] Pun - A Form Of Wit To Which Wise Men Stoop & Fools Aspire [Ambrose Bierce] Pun Done Properly Is Its Own Re-Word Pun Is Like Gas, It Must Come Out [Barry J. Lipson] Pun Is The Lowest Form Of Humor When You Don't Think Of It First [Oscar Levant] Punch From Punjab, Five-Ingredient Drink From Five-Rivers, India - NOT A Pun! [Pun = 5] Punching The Clown Punctuality Is The Virtue Of The Bored [Evelyn Waugh] Punk Music Puns Are Spiritualized Coincidences Pun’s Beauty Is In The ‘Oy!’ Of The Beholder Puns, Those Who Most Dislike Them Are Those Who Are Least Able To Utter Them [Poe] Punster Entered Ten Puns To Win Contest, But 'No Pun In Ten Did' Punsters & Jokester Stir Satire, Sarcasm, Self-Stimulation & Sentimentalisation Puppy Dog Pure .999 Pure & Simple Truth Is Rarely Pure & Never Simple [Oscar Wilde] Pure Crap Pure Dirt Pure Drivel Tends To Drive Off Ordinary Or Adulterated Drivel Pure Drivel Tends To Drive Ordinary Drivel Off Of The TV Screen Pure Evil Pure Garbage Pure Hate Pure Pollution Pure Rot Pure Sex Pure Speculation Pure Waste Pure Water Puritanism Is The Haunting Fear That Someone, Somewhere May Be Happy Puritan's Idea Of Hell Is Where Everybody Has To Mind His Own Business [Wendell Phillips] Puritans So Tough They Buckle Their Hats! [Colbert Report] Purple Emperor Purple Passage Purple Patch Purple People Eater [Sheb Wooley] Purpose Is A Man Made Concept, Porpoise Is God-Made & Papoose Is Indian-Made Purpose Of Life Is A Life Of Purpose Pursy, Now Pussy, Denoting A Weak Or Cowardly Person Push Around 51
Push Hard Enough & It Will Topple, Pull It & It Will Bopple Pushing Drugs Pushing Fifty Pushing Reforms Pushing The Envelope Pushmi-Pullyu [Doctor Dolittle] Push-Pull Puss & Puss Passed To Puss [Cat & Joint Passed To Girl] Puss In Boots Puss In Bootsie Puss Puss [A Topnotch Girl] Puss Puss [Bottom Of The Barrel Gal] Puss Puss Puss, Here! Puss Puss Smoked Puss & Is Now A Puss [Plus Gal Smoked Pot & Is Now A Negative] Puss Scratched Puss Puss On Puss & Puss Causing Puss [Cat-Top Gal-Face&Pussy-Infection] Pussies & Bitches Petshop & Grooming Salon [Pasig City, Philippines] Pussy Galore, Played By Honor Blackman In Goldfinger - Scout's Honor! [007 – 1964] Pussy Hound, ‘I’m Exxon-Mobile, I Drill, Drill, Drill!’ [Colbert Report] Pussy, My Love, O Lovely Pussy, 'What A Beautiful Pussy You Are, You Are' [Owl & Pussycat] Pussy Not Only Denotes A Cat & Lady's Beaver, But A Pursy [A Weak Or Cowardly Person] Pursuit Of Happiness Or The Happiness Of Pursuit, Which Is Preferable? Put A Tiger In Your Tank [ESSO] Put Genie Back In Bottle Put It Back The Cop Told Me, When I Tried To Take The Bypass Put It In Writing! Put It Off Long Enough & It Might Go Away Put On A Habit Put To Sleep Put Up Or Shut Up! [Tokhes Ahfen Tish - Asses On The Table] Put Work Off Long Enough & Surprise Of Surprises Someone Else Will Do It For You Put Your Best Foot Forward Put Your Brain In Gear Before Starting Your Mouth In Motion Put Your Foot Down Put Your Thumb On The Problem! But What If It’s Bigger Than My Thumb? Put Yourself In Others' Shoes & If They Hurts You They Probably Hurt Them, Too Putting Genie Back In Bottle Has Become Impossible In This Age Of E-Mail & The Internet Putting In Mouth What Earth Has Grown Is Most Direct Interaction With The Earth [Lappe] Putting Problems Into Perspective Is First Step In Finding Their Vanishing Point [Ziggy] Putting Teen In Prison Won't Stop His Face From Breaking Out Putz Is Nasty Small Limp Prick while Shmuck Is Large Erect One, Both Are Yiddish Insults Pygmy Mammoth [Wrangel Island] Pygmy Mastodon [Santa Rosa Island] Pygmy Pigmy Pyramid Scheme, How To Use Friends To Build Your Empire! [Franklin Grayburn] Pyrophobia - Often Justifiable Fear Of Pyrotechnics, Conflagrations & Fire Generally 52
Q QED [Quod Erat Demonstrandum] – ‘Which Was To Be Demonstrated’ Or ‘Proved’ *QED: All A Is B, Some C Is B, ∴ Some C Is A [or CIA?] - QED *QED: D Is Never E, Some Q Is E, ∴ Some Q Is Never D - QED *QED: Looks Like My Mark, Not In My Hand, ∴ It’s My Mark By Another's Hand - Not QED QED, Quantum ElectroDynamics By Nobel Laureate ‘Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!’ QED, Quite Easily Done Quacking Quaker [Parrot] Quaking Quaker Qualifications Are Trumped By Nonthreatening Incompetence Qualified Success Qualities That Attract One To Another Are The Ones They Can't Stand Years Later Qualitative Data Quality Assurance Quality Assurance Doesn’t Quality Of Dish Is In Inverse Proportion To The Sumptuosity Of The Menu Description Quality Of Expectations Determines The Quality Of Our Action Quality Service Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati [When All Else Fails, Play Dead] Quantum Leap Quantum Mechanics Is The Dreams Stuff Is Made Of Quark, Hypothetical Fundamental Particle Or Unripened Cheese Quarter Dollar Quarter Full Quartermaster Has Only Two Sizes, Too Large & Too Small Quasi-Public Quasi-Public Corporation Quasi-Public Good Quasi-Rent Quasimodo... Hmmm, That Does Ring A Bell [Hunchback Of Notre-Dame] Quebec Intellectual Queef Repeats: Vaginal Belch, Pussy & Vaginal Fart, Vaginal Wind, Pink Wind, Blazing Wind Queefing Makes 'You Feel As Though You're At Fulton's Fish Market On A Windy Day' Queefs & Cat's Breath Are From Soft Hairy Pussys With 'Fishy Smell, Like Woman's Vagina' Queen Elizabeth I Crowned (9/7/ 1533), Over 25 Years Before She Was Crowned (1/15/1559) Queen Elizabeth I, Spinster, Dubbed The 'Good Queen Bess' & The 'Virgin Queen' [1533-1603] Queen Elizabeth I, Spinster, Dubbed Virgin Queen, Dubbed Benighted Knights Nightly Queen Of Burger King By Queers Queen Of Clean®, Cleaning Tips From Linda Cobb Queen Of Queer By Super Czerny Queen Of Queers Still 'Talented Tori' [CarnalNation] Queen Of The Damned, Queen Of All Vampires [2002] Queen Of Wein, Janet Riley Of National Hot Dog & Sausage Council Queen Victoria In Riding Breeches [Rutherford B. Hayes] 53
Queer Marriage Question Authority & The Authorities Will Question You Question Isn't Who Is Going To Let Me, It's Who Is Going To Stop Me? [Ayn Rand] Questionable Answer Questionable Solution Questions Are The Creative Acts Of Intelligence [Frank Kingdon] Quibble Quick & The Dead Quick! Call A Witch Doctor! My Witch Is Sick Quick Escrow Quick Fix Quick Mail Quick Reboot Quick Step Quickest Way To Get Undivided Attention Is To Make A Mistake Quickest Way To Make Someone Ignore You Is To Start A Sentence With 'You Should ...' Quickly, I Must Hurry, For There Go My People & I Am Their Leader Quickly Stopping Quickly Slowing Down Quicksand Quicksand, Any Person Passing This Point Will Be Drowned, By Order Of The District Council Quicksand Bog Quicksand Can Work Quite Slowly Quicksilver Is Mercury Quiet Explosion Quiet Fool Is Half A Sage Quiet Horn Quiet Hurricanes Quiet Loudspeaker Quiet Motorcycle Quiet Noise Quiet Rage Quiet Revolution Quiet Riot Quiet Scream Quiet Storm Quiet Tirade Quiet Wife Is Mighty Pretty Quiet Yell Quietest Place On Earth Is The Complaint Department Of Funeral Pallor Quietly Murmured At Saturday Services, Yanks 5, Red Sox 3 [Haiku] Quintuplets Born 15 Months Early [Moorhead, MN Headline] Quip Is Mightier Than The Sword Quit While You're Ahead, All The Best Gamblers Do QUITE Good Conveys Misconception 'Quite Good'; & 'Quite GOOD' Conveys 'Quite Good' QUITE Good Really Means ‘A Bit Disappointing’; & 'Quite GOOD' Means 'Excellent' 54
Quite Unlikely Quitters Never Win, Winners Never Quit Quitting Is Leading, Too [Nelson Mandela] Quitting Is Only A Short Cut To Losing Quitting Smoking Is Really Easy, I’ve Done It Dozens Of Times Quitting While Losing Is To Lose While Quitting Quorum 5 Board Members, But What If Only 4 Are Bored? Quote Me As Saying I Was Misquoted [Groucho Marx] Quoteology - Religion Of The Quotes Of Thomas Edison & Henry Ford Quotes On The Internet: Their Trouble Is ‘You Can Not Confirm Their Validity’ [Abe Lincoln]
R R&D Rabbit's Foot Lucky, Rabbit Unlucky Race & Battle Not Always To Swift & Strong, But That's Way To Bet [Damon Runyon] Race Goes Not Always To Swift, Nor Battle To Strong, But I'd Bet That Way Race Is Between Building Better Idiot-Proof Widgets & The Universe Producing Better Idiots Race Track Road Racial Diversity Racial Prejudice Is Just A Pigment Of The Imagination Racing Silk Worms Ended Up In A Tie & Are Then Tied In Knots Racist Christian Rack: Full Rack, Half Rack, Baby Backs; D-Cup B-Cup A-Cup - She's Stacked! Rack: On Which One Rucks A Comely Rack, Lays His Ruck After A Hard Hike, Or Sleeps Rack Stands Up & Juts Out Radical Center Radical Chic Radical Moderate Radio & Telephone & Movies That We Know May Just Be Passing Fancies & In Time May Go Radio & Telephone & Movies, They Aren’t What They Used To Be, But They Are! Radio Rock Radio Show Radioactive Cat Has 18 Half-Lives Radioactive Decay Monument, Dutch Art Project Engulfing Nuclear Waste Storage Facility Radiohead, English Rock Band From Abingdon, Oxfordshire, Formed In 1985 Radiophobia - Not Fear Of Radios, But Of Radioactivity & X-Rays Raghead Or Towel Head: Anyone Who's Turban Or Headgear Raises 9/11 Apprehensions Rags For Sale, Sad Rags & Mad Rags & Glad Rags & Plaid Rags Rags To Riches Raid Kills Bugs Dead! – Is There Any Other Way, Perhaps Kill Them Undead? Rail-Splitter [Abraham Lincoln] Rain Dances & Washing Your Car To Make It Rain Don't Work Rain Before Seven, Fine Before Eleven Rainbows Are For Looking, No Need To Understand Rainproof Rainy Days & Automatic Weapons Always Get Me Down 55
Raise My Hand If You Believe In Telekinesis Raise That Window Down Raised Down By Republicans, ‘Raised Up’ By Democrats [Credited To Chris Matthews] Raised Cries: 'Down With Ceauşescu!' Raised Down Payments Raised Down South Raised Down The Line [Taxes] Raised Down The Road Raised Down To The Local Town & County Levels [Taxes] Raised Down Under Raised Downtown Cincinnati Raised From An Ideology To A Theology Or 'The Theology Of The Tea Party' [Jim Wallis] Raised Sink Raised Taxes Passed Down Raised Up By Democrats, 'Raised Down' By Republicans [Credited To Chris Matthews] Raised Up Down Home Raisin, A Grape With A Sunburn Raisin: Grape With Third Degree Sunburn Raisin Hell, Where Shrunken Souled Viperousness Vegetarians Go Raisin Is A Worried-Looking Grape Seemingly Gaped & Raped Raising A Stink Raising Cain Describes Acts Of Violence, Criminal Activity Or Any Other Mischievous Acts Raising Cane's Chicken Fingers [Baton Rouge] Raising Hell Raising The Devil Raking The Leaves Rampant Apathy Ram’s Dam Rammed The Damn Dam Random Acts Of Kindness Random Acts Of Kindness Or Cold Calculated Acts Of Kindness? Random Awesome Random Choice Random Logic Random Order Random Patterns Random Precision Randomly Organized Randy Aynie: Love Is Not Self-Sacrifice, But The Most Profound Assertion Of Your Own Needs Rank Has Its Privileges Rank Retreats When You’re All In Your Skivvies Ranker The Skivvies The More Odiferous The Situation Ranker The Skivvy The More Odiferous The Situation Rankest Among Us Has Five Stars Rankest Among Us Is A Recreant & A Renegade Ranks Filed Past The Ranking Officer Who Raged & Ranted At The Rank & File Rants, Raves & Rhetoric 56
Rap Artist Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art Rap Music Rap Sheet Rap Sheet Wrapped Up Rappers Raves! Rape A La Canada So Treasured Its Progeny Were Named After Canada Rape Cross Breeding Produced Angry Sex Rape Cross-Breeding Produced ‘Canadian Oil’ Or ‘Canola Oil’ Rape Dungeon [Bleeped On tosh.O] Rape Dungeon - Lower Level Of Dungeons & Dragons? Rape Induces Formation Of Natural Spermicide, Or So Some Politicians Tell Us! Rape Or Rapture? It Is Determined By Salesmanship Rape - The New Way To Defend Yourself [Ladies Home Journal] Raper Realty [Murphy, North Carolina] Rapid Iteration [The ‘Quirky’ Approach To Idea Development] Rapid Rising Exalts Men, Though Nothing Rises More Rapidly Than Dust, Straw & Feathers Rapid Transit Rapid Transit Delay Rapscallion Enraptured By The Resplendence Of Reality Raptor Fed On Rapscallion Wrapped In Rapture Raptor's Gaze Enraptured Rapscallion Rapture Enwrapped Randy Rascal Rapture Enwrapped The Repentant Rapscallion Rapture Wrapped Rapscallion Rapture Wrapped The Regally Robed Regent Raptured, Transported From One Sphere Of Existence To Another, Like From Earth To Heaven Rapturous, Wild & Ineffable Pleasure - Drinking At Someone Else's Expense [Henry S. Leigh] Rapunzel Bob Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Don’t Use The Stair Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Put Down That Nair Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Uncover Your Pair Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Wow! Will I Stare Rara Avis Rare Earth Elements/Metals Are Numbers 57 To 70 + 21 & 39 In The Periodic Table *Rare Earth Elements Are Relatively Common, #58 (Cerium) Being As Abundant As Copper *Rare Earth Elements Are Dispersed In Earth's Crust & #61 (Radioactive Promethium) Is Rare *Rare Earth Mining Is Economically Rare As Concentrated Rare Earth Deposits Are Rare Rare Medium Well Done, Is This Meat Or A True Ghost Whisperer? Rare Steak Rare Steaks May Soon Be Available By Giant Auroch Cat tle Being Bred Back From Extinction Rarely Done Rarely Do People Communicate, They Merely Take Turns Talking! Rat-Arsed Ratbag Rate Race Winner Is ‘Sill A Rat’ [Lily Tomlin] Rather Fail With Honor Than Succeed By Fraud [Sophocles] 57
Rather Have A Free Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Prefrontal Lobotomy [Fred Allen] Rather Learn From A Bird To Sing ‘Than Teach 10,000 Stars How Not To Dance’ [E.E.C.] Rather Lose A Second In My Life, Than My Life In A Second Rather Outspoken: My Life In The News [Dan Rather] Ratio Of An Igloo's Circumference To Its Diameter Is Eskimo Pi Rational Female Rational Ravings Rationality Will Prevail When All Else Fails Rave Reviews Of Ravings & Rantings Of Raving Rappers Katie Cee & Becky Pee At Rave Raved & Ranted Disparagingly About Popular Berlin Raves Which Received Rave Reviews Raw Data Raw Democracy Razed Re - A Drop Of Golden Sun Re-Create Re-Creation Re-Pete {For Pittsburghers] Re-Shtetlement Re-Take Reach For The Stars Read ‘Em & Reap: A Career FBI Agent's Guide To Decoding Poker Tells [Phil Hellmuth] Read ‘Em &Weep Read Forward Backwards [Hebrew Language Newspaper] Read My Lips No New Taxes [George H. W. Bush] Read My Upper Lip, No More Moustache Read The Directions & Directly You Will Be Directed In The Right Direction [Alice] Reading Is To The Mind What Exercise Is To The Body [Joseph Addison] Reading While Sunbathing Makes You Doubly Well Red & Overdone Ready-To-Eat Frozen Dinner Reagan Democrat Reagan Memoirs Reagan On Overhead: 'It Would Seem That Someplace There Must Be Some' Reagan Overhead Garage Doors Company [Reagan, Texas] Reagan Overhead Salutes By Navy Blue Angels & Air Force Thunderbirds Reagan Wins Budget, More Lies Ahead [Headline] Real Boobs Real Copy Real Counterfeit Real Estate Realtors Are A Vacant Lot Real Fake Real Fantasy Real Friend Walks In When The Rest Of The World Walks Out [Walter Winchell] Real Hypotheticals Real Illusions Real Imitation Leather Real Knowledge Is To Know The Extent Of One's Ignorance [Confucius] 58
Real Lemon Dishwashing Liquid Washed Artificially Flavored Lemon Drink Glass Real Lie Real Life Real-Life Show Real Live Ghost Real Loss Is When You Love Someone More Than You Love Your Self Real Magic Real McCoy Real Men: Bob’s Average, Maybe A Little Less [1987] Real Men: If I Don’t Pay Attention To My Feelings Who Will? Real Men: Smoke After Sex Only, ‘Bout Pack A Day. It'll Kill Ya! Nah, Only Make Ya Sore! Real Men Bed Scene: You've Done Your Country A Great Service! Should I ‘Do It Again?’ Real Men Bed Scene: You've Done Your Country A Great Service! Should I Do It Again, Sam? Real Men Want Any Age Gal Who Makes Them Feel Good & Raises Their Testosterone Level Real Mistake Is To Stop Trying [B F. Skinner] Real Numbers Real Phony Real Polyester Real Potential Real Processed Cheese Real Property Real Reality [Richard Johnson, World Vision] REAL Sponge Cake Requires All Borrowed Ingredients Real Time Real Time Occurs Here & Now, Fake Time Must Then Occur There & Then Real TV Real Vinyl Real Wealth Can Only Increase [R Buckminster Fuller] Real Women Don't Have Hot Flashes, They Have Power Surges [Bumper Sticker] Reale Realty Company For Sale Or Lease Realistic Fantasy Realistic Liberal Realistic Schedule Realistic Simulation Reality, A Collective Hunch Reality Always Seems Harsher In The Early Morning Reality Dreams Reality, A Collective Hunch Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can't Handle Drugs [Bumper Sticker] Reality Is A Crutch For People Who Can't Handle Science Fiction Reality Is A Nice Place, But You Wouldn’t Want To Live There Reality Is A Nice Place To Visit, But You Wouldn’t Want To Live There Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To Lack Of Alcohol Reality Is For People Who Can’t Escape Into Drugs Reality Is Not What’s Important, It’s How You Perceive Things Reality Is 'That Which, When You Stop Believing In It, Doesn't Go Away' [Philip K. Dick] 59
Reality Show Reality Television Reality TV Reality TV Is Mostly About Fantasy [Dr. Mardy Grothe] Really The Blood Of Christ? Yes. Man, ‘He Must Have Been Wasted’ Huh? [Peter Griffin] Really Fake Really Fantastic Really Great Man Is The Man Who Makes Every Man Feel Great Really New Ideas Affront Current Misconceptions Really Rich People Figure Out How To Dodge Taxes Anyway [George W. Bush] Really Sarcastic Realpolitik Rear Admiral Rear Admiral Rules The Poop Deck Rearview Mirror Is Always Clearer Than The Windshield [Warren Buffett] Reason & Free Inquiry Are The Only Effectual Agents Against Error [Thomas Jefferson] Reason Deceives Us Often, Conscience Never [Rousseau] Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions Reason Most Major Goals Go Unachieved Is We Put Second Things First [Robert J. Mckain] Reason We Never See Ourselves As Others See Us Is That We’d Never Believe What We Saw Reasonable Attorney Fees Reasonable Demand Reasonable Doubt Reasonable Fees Reasonable Female Reasonable Medical Fees Reasonable Pharmaceutical Costs Reasonable Prescription Fees Rebel ‘Free Syrian Army’ Vs. Rebel-Free Syrian Army Rebel With A Cause – Tweet, A Little Birdie Gave It To Him/Her! Rebel Without A Cause Receiver Is Off The Hook Recent History Recent Past Recently New Reception After TV Repairman’s Wedding Was Excellent Reckless Driver Is One Who Passes You On The Highway In Spite Of All You Can Do Recession, A Period When You Go Without Things Your Grandparents Never Heard Of Recession Blues Recession Sessions: Financial Crisis Revisited *We had the Lehman bust we lost all our trust, In the systems of our own demise disguised *We had all our fears slowly reappear, In the systems of our own demise disguised Recipe Not To Be Followed Exactly, But’s Canvas ‘On Which One Can Embroider’ [R. Verge] Reciprocality Of Action Law: Change Traffic Lanes & The One You Leave Becomes Fastest Reckless Care Reckless Caution 60
Reclusive Extovert Recoilless Rifle Recommended Requirements Recompense Injury With Justice & Recompense Kindness With Kindness [Confucius] Recondite Problem In Historiography Observed Recorded Live Records Are Made To Be Broken Records Are Made To Be Broken! Come On! [Iron Man] Records Are Made To Be Broken, Then Came Vinyl! Recovery Will Take Time Obama Said – Hurricane Irene Or Economy? Recreational Burning Rectal Cranium Inversion Is You Infliction Recycling Dump Red [Bush II For Adam Putnam, Republican Congressman, Florida] Red & Blue Frigates Collided, The Survivors Were Marooned Red-Blooded Go-Getter Gets To Be A Blue Blooded Got-Gotter Red Capped Manikins* Red Carnation, A Country Where Everyone Drives A Red Car Red-Cockaded Woodpeckers* Red Devil® Crack Patch™, Chastity Belt For Bedeviled Walls! Red Fox Of Kinderhook [Martin Van Buren] Red-Knobbed Coots* Red Licorice Red Man [Not Red] Red Meat's NOT Bad For You; Blue-Green Meat THAT'S Bad For You! [Tommy Smothers] Red Oranges Red-Rumped Bush Tyrants* Red Sky At Night Shepherd's Delight; Red Sky In The Morning, Shepherd's Warning Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge [Headline - Collapse Imminent?] Red Tape Made Nutritional Could Feed The World [R. Schaeberle, 'Management Accounting'] RadioLab Strives For ‘Cinema For The Ears’ Redneck: A Whitey, Cracker Or Poor White Person From The Southern United States Redneck: 'Glorious Absence Of Sophistication' In Whites With Provincial Attitudes Redskins’ Mascot Is Mr. Potato Head! Redskins: Names Of Several US Sports Teams Using Slang For Native Americans Redskins, Potatoes With Red Skins Obtained From Native Americans Redundant Redundancy Reexamine All That You’ve Been Told & ‘Dismiss That Which Insults Your Soul’ [Whitman] Reeferendum [Colorado-Daily Show] Reflation Reformed Convict Reformed Hippie Refudiate [Repudiate? - Palin] Refundable Deposit Refuse Dump Was So Dumped-Out It Had To Refuse The Dumping Of More Refuse Regarding Apathy, I Have No Opinion 61
Regardless Of How Old You Become You Still Remain As Young As You Will Ever Be Regardless Of The Temptation, Don't Lick A Steak Knife [Dave Barry] Regional Pantheists Regressive Progress Regressive Tax Regret ‘Didn't Study Latin’ To ‘Converse’ With Latin Americans [Dan Quayle] Regretfully I Always Keep My Eye Upon The Doughnut & Not The Hole [Wendy Wasserstein] Regular Special Regularly Irregular Regulate The Regulators By Whom? Regulated Industry Regulators Are Regulated By The Regulated! Rehab Is For Quitters! Rehab Is For Quitters & Quitters Who Don't Quit Rehab Are Winners Rehabilitating Incarceration Rehabilitating Prison Rehearsed Improvisation Reincarnation Is People Coming Back To Life At Quitting Time Reindeer Makes The Grass Grow, Sweetie Related Division Relationship Is The Opportunity To Do Something You Hate With Someone You Love Relative Stranger Relative Truth Relatively Perfect Relatively Precise Relatively Strict Relativity: Hour Is Second If Hot Gal Lights Your Fire As Second Is Hour If You’re On Fire Relax Darling I Am On Top Of The Situation [007] Relax, We Won't Enter Into A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person Relaxation Exercise Release The Hounds Relevant Search Engine Relaxation Exercise Reliable Computer Reliable Insurance Reliable Source Reliable Witness Religion Is A Crutch To Stand Up To The Unknown Religion Is Just Enough To Makes Us Hate, But Not Enough To Make Us Love [Jon. Swift] Religion Is The Opium For The Masses [Karl Marx] Religion Needs To Champion Morality, But Morality Needn't Champion Religion Religion Of Peace Religion That Gets ‘Very Serious’ When ‘Kidded ... Shows They're Insecure’ [Steve Martin] Religion Turns 'Untested Belief Into Unshakeable Truth’ [Richard Dawkins] Religious Atheist Religious Education 62
Religious Fact Religious Retreat Religious Right Religious Right Irony: Iron Curtain Bad, Iron Dome Good, Iron Fist?, Iron Maiden …. Religious Science Religious Tolerance Religious War Religious War Is Like Kids Fighting Over Who Has Strongest Imaginary Friend Reliving The Past Takes Away From Worrying About The Future Remain.Com Remaining Variable Remarkable Thing About Life Is It's Never So Bad That It Can't Get Any Worse! [Calvin] Remedy Can Be Worse Than The Disease Remember, Don't Insult The Alligator Till After You Cross The River Remember, Entire Universe, With One Trifling Exception, Is Composed Of Others [J. Holmes] Remember It's ‘I’ Before ‘E’, Except In Budweiser Remember Me & Smile, For It's Better To Forget Than To Remember Me & Cry [Dr. Seuss] Remember That Half The People You Know Are Below Average Remember The Future Remember The Good Old Days When A Liquid-Protein Diet Was Chicken Soup [Gil Stern] Remember To Always Be Yourself, Unless You Suck [Joss Whedon] Remember What You Should Forget Remorse Is A Violent Dyspepsia Of The Mind [Ogden Nash] Remote Contingency Remote Control Remote Future Remote Past Remote Possibility Remote Relative Remote Stars Remotely Close Remotely Obvious Removable Sticker Rendezvous Point Renegade Lawmakers Rent Holiday Rent Is Paid By People Who Can Least Afford To Pay Rent Rentee: ‘Person Who Pays Consideration To A Renter For The Use Of Rented Property’ [(D2)] Renter: ‘Person Who Owns Rented Property’ [Ohio Revised Code, Title 29, §2913.72(D1)] Renter: Presenter Likewise ‘Presents’ & Presentee Is One ‘To Whom Something Is Presented’ Renter: Yet Per Websters - 'One That Rents; Specifically, The Lessee Or Tenant Of Property' Renter: Yoicks! Renter Rents To/From Renter? Seems Like Same Sex Rental - Inconceivable! Repair Shop For Baroque Musical Instruments Is Passed The Dingle In Stillorgan, Éire Repairman Will Never Have Seen A Model Quite Like Yours Before Repeat Ad Naseum Repentance Won't Cure Mischief [Gaelic Proverb] 63
Repetitive Redundancies Report Abuse Reports Cover Four Tenses: Past Tense, Present Tense, Future Tense & Pretense Reports Of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated [Mark Twain, At Least As Of 1897] Represent Yourself & You Have A Fool For A Client & A Jackass For A Lawyer Represent Yourself & You Have A Fool For A Lawyer & A Jackass/Imbecile For A Client Representative Democracy Reproachment - Make Enemies Thru Censure; Rapprochement - Make Friends Thru Diplomacy Republicans Great At Shooting Themselves In One Foot While Putting The Other in their Mouth Republican Intelligence – an Oxymoron? Republican Party Republican Polls Raising Cain! Republicans Need To Grow Up About Taxes [Forbes] Republicans Vote Down Increase In Minimum Wage [House] Repulsive Desire Reputation Cannot Be Built On The Things You Are Going To Do Required Donation Required Elective Required Option Required To Volunteer Res Ipsa Loquitur [The Thing Speaks For Itself] Research Is Reading 2 Books That Haven't Been Read To Write A 3rd That Won't Be Read Research Is What I’m Doing When I Don't Know What I’m Doing [Werner Von Braun] Research Not Nature Causes The Most Cancer In Rats Research Occurs When Researchers Look For Something New, Why Isn’t That ‘Newsearch’? Resentment Is Like Taking Poison & Hoping The Other Person Dies [Saint Augustine] Reside Neutrals 'Directly Inside Gate Of Hell, A Region Neither Hot Nor Cold' [Dante] Reside Neutrals In 'Hottest Places In Hell' [John F. Kennedy] Reside Traitors In 'Lowest Part Of Hell, A Frigid Lake Of Ice' [Dante] Resident Alien Resist & It Will Persist! Resist & You Will Persist! Resistance Is Futile! [Borg - Star Trek: TNG] Resistance Isn’t Futile, It’s Voltage Divided By Amperage Resistance To Innovation Is The Scholarly Norm [Wilfred Cude] Resolute Ambivalence Resort Campground Respect Life – End Capital Punishment Respect Not So Much What You Eat, As With Whom You Eat [Michel Eyquem De Montaigne Respectful Trolls Responsible Drinking Responsible Gambling Responsible Government Responsible Teen Required Donation Resident Alien 64
Resounding Silence Rest In Peace Rest In Pieces Rest Is Science [Faux Shakespeare] Rest Is Silence [Shakespeare] Rest Of The Story Rest On Your Laurels, Never Try To Replicate A Successful Experiment Restaurant Window Invites: ‘Don't Stand There & Be Hungry. Come On In & Get Fed Up’ Restaurant's Assurance: All Drinking Water Has Been Personally Passed By Manager Restless Sleep Restrained Grandparent Restrained Opulence Restricted Free Agent Restricted View Restricted View - I Could Still Clearly See Half The Stage Result Of Shielding Men From Effects Of Folly Is To Fill World With Fools [Herbert Spencer] Resulting Results Results Of Investigating The Unknown Are Unknown Retail Retarded Genius Retarded Logic Retardo [Bleeped On tosh.O] Retardo, Dull Digamma Dog Was Thirty-Five Inches Short Of A Yard Retardex English Oral Spay Retire [End Work/Enable Resumed Travel] Retired [Stopped Working-Replaced Tires-Tied Again] Retired [Exhausted, Then Tired Again] Retired Worker Retiree Given A Watch Said 'It's About Time’ Retirement Is One Great Big Giant Coffee Break Retirement Living Retirement Should Be Based On The Tread, Not The Mileage Retiring Human Cannonball's Replacement Was Not Of The Right Caliber Retreat Attack Retreating It Is Not, We Are Advancing In Another Direction Reusing Burial Crypts, A New Orleans Tradition Reusing Old Graves [Douglas Davies & Alastair Shaw] Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold [Dorothy Parker] Revenge Is Sweet Revenge Is Sweet, Is That So Wrong? Revenge Is The Best Revenge Revenge Is The Best Revenge, In Retort To ‘Success Is The Best Revenge’ [Suits] Revere Rode To Protect Right To Bear Arms, Warning Friend & Foe With Bells & Shots [Palin] Revere A La Palin Sheds No Light To Warn ‘The British Are Coming,’ Sheds No Light At All! Revere’s ‘Silent’ Signals Per Palin Were Then ‘One Shot If By Land & Two Bells If By Sea’? Revere’s Truth Forsooth: Lantern Signals For Friends Alone To Ready Arms In Combat Zone 65
Reverse Backwards Reverse Mortgage Reverse Mortgage Drains Underwater Property! [Twilight Zone News] Reverse Mortgages Are Government Insured Reverse Psychology Revolving Charge Account Revolving Credit Revolving Credit Doesn’t Turn You Into A Creditor Revolving Credit Is Not To You Credit Revolving Credit Puts You In The Creditor’s Debt Revolving Credit Puts You In The Creditor’s Debt, Now & Forever, Amen Revolving Door Revolving Fund Reward For A Job Well Done Is To Have Done It Well Reward For A Job Well Done Is More Work Reward For A Job Well Done Is The Opportunity To Do More Reward For Achieving Goals Pales As To What You Become By Achieving Them [Goethe] Reward Of A Thing Well Done Is To Have Done It Rhetorical Conversation [The Producers] Rhetorical Question Rice Is Born In Water & Must Die In Wine, Saki It To You! Rich Are Eccentric, Poor Are Just Strange Rich As Rockefeller, Rocky As Rich Feller [Volleyball Coach] Rich Bitch Itch Rich Country, Poor People Rich Feller Got Fired Up & Fired Off Missive Firing One Poor Feller & Frying Everyone Else Rich Need Pay Public Expense More Than In Proportion To Their Revenue [Adam Smith] Rich Would Have To Eat Money If The Poor Did Not Provide Food [Assyrian Proverb] Riches & Honors Acquired By Unrighteousness Are Merely A Floating Cloud [Confucius] Riddle Wrapped In A Mystery Inside An Enigma [Churchill On Russia] Ride The Bench Ridicule Is More Powerful Than All The Arguments In The World [Frederick The Great] Riflemans [Riflemen]* Rifling Guns Rifling Gun Barrels Right Angle To Approach Any Problem Is The TRY-Angle Right-Down Bad 'Un Right-Down Vices Right Makes Might [A. Lincoln] Right Now I'm Having Amnesia & Déjà Vu At The Same Time [Steven Wright] Right Now I'm Having Amnesia & Déjà Vu At Same Time, I Think I've Forgotten This Before Right Now You're Jailbait, They're Jailbait - It's Perfect Right Of Anonymity Right Of Privacy Right Of The People To Be Muttly Shall Not Be Infringed [Poor Muttly] Right Sided Up 66
Right To Be Heard Does Not Include The Right To Be Taken Seriously [Hubert Humphrey] Right To Die Right To Life Right Turn Lane Goes Left Right Way Is The Wrong Way & The Left Way Is The Right Way At Next Highway Split Right Wingers, Left Wingers & Buffalo Wingers All Need To Support Conservation Righteous Cowherd, Superman & Milk-Man Sri Krishna Righteous Indignation Righteous Man Has Regard For The Life Of His Animal [Proverbs 12:10] Righteous Man Who Knows He’s Righteous Is Not Righteous Righteous Sin Righter Of Rights Righter Of Rites Righter Of Wrongs Rightist Irony: Red States Bad, Red States Good; Red Countries Bad, Red Counties Good Righteous Indignation Rigorous Public School Rigorous Schooling Rin-Tin-Tin They Say Retrieved A Stick From Hell, But That’s A Bit Far-Fetched! RinderCella [Archie Campbell's Hee Haw- Cinderella] Riot Control Rip My Heart Out, Why Don’t You? [Ghost Whisperer] Ripest Peach Is Highest On The Tree Ripped Off Ripcord To Use As Tie To Tie Parachute On Tight Ripping Clients Off: Goldman Sachs SOP Per Its Ex-Executive Director Greg Smith Ripping Eyeballs Out: Goldman Sachs Destroying Its Clients Per Greg Smith Rise Of The Planets Of The Apes, The Birth Of The Tea Party [Bill Maher] Risen Devil Risible Chauvinism Risible Courtroom Antics Rising Cost Of Living Has Not Priced Living Out Of The Market Rising Deficits Rising Tide Lifts All Boats Rising Trot Risk The Unusual Or 'Settle For The Ordinary' [Jim Rohn] Riskless Investment River Cuts Through Rock Not Because Of Power, But Because Of Persistence [Jim Watkins] River Land River Runs [Dead Hackneyed Metaphor] Riverboat Winds Wildly Through Hills As Wild Winds Blows Riverboat's Captain Winds & Winds Up Watch, Passing Wind From Both Ends Roaches & Socialites, Only Things That Can 'Stay Up All Night & Eat Anything [Herb Caen] Road Apple Road Hog Road Kill Feast Road Kill Feast Died With Road Apple In Mouth 67
Road On Rhodes Rode By Rodeo Roadie Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions & Disemboweled Feces Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions...Mama My Intentions Were The Best [R. Travis] Road To Nowhere Road To Ruin Is Always In Good Repair & The Travelers Pay The Expense Of It [Josh Billings] Road To Success Is Always Under Construction Road Train: LCV (Longer Combination Vehicle), Quad, Triple, Double, Turnpike Double Road Trais Plus: Powertrain, Body & Six Out Of Granites Gold Mine, Australia Roadblock Roadhouse Special – Road Kill Served With Road Apples Roadie Rode With Dispatch Through Rotting Road Apple Patch Roads Are Paved With Gold Roads Are Paved With Gold – Black Gold That Is, Tar & Asphalt Roaming Catholic Nun Roaming Catholic Nun Spun, Spurned & Turned Roaming Catholic Nun Universally Shun Roaring River Roaring Silence Roaring Twenties Roast Beef, Put Big & Small Ones In Oven, When Small Burns Big Is Done [Gracie Allen] Rob Banks ‘Get A Piece Of Mind,’ Got ‘Jaded' & Go ‘A.W.O.L.’ [Three Rob Banks’ Films] Rob Banks, Why? ‘That's Where To Money Is!’ [Willie Sutton]; Or ‘They’re There!’ Rob Peter To Pay Paul Robber Ducky Stole The Soap, Rubber Ducky Floated In The Soup Robo-Signers: Fakers In Mass Signing Fake Foreclosure Affidavits For Notarizing & Filing Robo-Signing Of Presidential Commissioning Of U.S. Military Officers By Auto-Pen Robo-Signing, Signing Complex Documents Without Evaluating Them, Just Like Congress Robo-Signings Led To Robo Or Auto-Foreclosures [Barry J. Lipson] Robophobia 1 – Rational Fear Of Robo-Signing Foreclosures Robophobia 2 – Irrational Fear Of Robots & Androids [Doctor Who] Robot Armpit – Smells Human! Rock [Bush II For Barack Obama] Rock Garden Rock Music Rock Opera Rock Soap Rock Soup Rockefeller Dies In The Saddle [Wife Happy Not Happy] Rockefeller Republican Rocket Science Rockies May Tumble, Gibraltar May Crumble, They’re Only Made Of Clay Rockin’ The Baby To Sleep Rocky Balboa Monument In Zitiste, Serbia To Draw Tourists To See This Movie Heavyweight Rocky Road Had Me Tasting Chocolate I. C., Nuts & Marshmallows Rocky Road Had Me Tasting Dust & Grit! 68
Rocky Road Wrecked Ray’s Roadster Rod Up Your Arse Rode Rhodes’ Apple Down Apple Lane, Dropping Road Apples In The Rain Rogue Cop Rogues Are Preferable To Imbeciles As ‘They Sometimes Take A Rest’[Alexandre Dumas] Roiling Swamp With A Feudal Class – Washington, DC [Mark Leibovich] Roll In Hay Field Awaiting Pickup By Pickup Truck Spreading Hay Seed Roll In Hay Field Resulted From Pickup By Hayseed Driving Pickup Truck Roll With The Punches Rolling Rocks Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss Rolling Stop Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss Rollup Roly-Poly Eaten Roman Catholic Nun Spun &Turned, But Not Spurned Roman Catholic Priest Boycotted Celibacy Roman Catholic Priests Celebrate Celibacy Roman Catholic Priests’ Celibacy Buoyed By Boyos Roman Paramedics Refer To IV As ‘4's’ Romance Crime Rome Declined 'Because It Had A Senate' & We Have 'Both A Senate & House' [Will Rogers] Rome Wasn't Built In A Day Romeo & Juliet Romnesia: A Made For Social Media Attack Line [Forbes] Romney As Mormon Can’t Drink Tea Or Party, So No Tea Party For Him [Colbert Report] Romney Named After Hotel Magnate J. Willard Marriot & Dad’s Cousin Milton Romney [Mitt] Romney Presumptively Despicably Mean Or Lacking In Presidential Demeanor? [Mrs Manners] Romney 'Put On The Mitt,' Dropping Willard [Willard Mitt Romney] Romney: ‘Syria Is Iran's Only Ally In The Arab World; It's Their Route To The Sea’ *Fact Check: Iran Is On Gulf Of Iran/Persian Gulf, Isn’t Arab & Isn’t Adjacent To Syria Romney, The Etch-A-Sketch® Kid, Just 'Shake It Up & Restart All Over Again' Romney Victory, A Backlash Or Blacklash? Romneycare Upheld By U.S. Supreme Court! - Oops! Obamacare! Romneyhood Charges Obama, Obamalone Responds Romney Romney's Hesitation ‘Struck Me As A Little Odd’ [Bill Clinton On NBC] Romney’s Testy, Said Fox News, Kicking Him In His Testies - To Kill Him Politically? Ron Paulsy, Affliction Like Cerebral Palsy, Its Jerky Movements Aim To Dismantle Society Room Was Abuzz Over The Latest Buzzness Scandal Room Without Books Is Like A Body Without A Soul [Marcus Tullius Cicero] Roomy Airline - Coach Seats Root Of All Evil Root Of All Unhappiness Is Desire [Siddartha] Rootcap Rooting Flying Dragon Cuttings [Flying Dragon Citrus Nursery] Roots Of Education Are Bitter But The Fruits Are Sweet [Aristotle] 69
Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet Rose By Any Other Word Would Smell As Sweet [Romeo & Juliet] Rose Gold Roseanne Barr's Ex-Hubby Works At Bar called ‘The Roseanne Barr,’ NOT! [NPR] Rosebud? [Citizen Kane, 1941] Rosh Hashana-Na-Na R & R Band Rosie The Riveter Rotten Borough Rotten Food In Transit Is ‘Un-Pallet-Able’ Rough & Tumble Rough Finish Rough Marriage – Divorce Impossible [U.S. - Pakistan] Rough Riders [A/K/A Wood's Weary Walkers] Round Box Round Corner Round Edges Round Ice Cube Round Square Roundest Knight At King Arthur's Table Was Sir Cumference Roundeyes: Non-Mongoloids, The Races Of Man Without Epicanthic Folds Route 66, Will Rogers Highway, ‘The Mother Road, ...The Road Of Flight' [Grapes Of Wrath] Route 666, The Devil Truck [Supernatural] Routine Change Routine Emergency Routine Surgery Row, Row, Row Your Boat, The Motto Of The Self-Satisfied Sister Royal Pain Caused Alaska By King Salomon's Decline Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Men In A Tub & That's On A Slow Night [SF Bath House] Rub My Nose In It, Why Don't You? [Face-Off 1997] Rub Nose In It Rubber Bones Rubber Cement Rubber Chicken Rubber Duckie With You I’m ‘Never Alone’ [The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy] Rubbernecking Rubix Cubes Are Like Peckers, The Longer You Play With Them, The Harder They Get Ruck: Alternative For F Word – ‘Ruck You!’ Ruck: Rucksack Or Backpack Used By Infantry Ruck: To Quickly Penetrate Her Vajayjay Ruddy Rudy Predicts Rain & We All Know ‘Rudolph The Red Knows Rain, Dear’ Rude Manners Rude Welcome Rude Words Bring About Sadness, But Kind Words Inspire Joy Rudeness Is The Weak Man's Imitation Of Strength [Eric Hoffer] Rudi Pecker Taking The Head Job & Top Slot At Misys [Financial Asia Times 2004] Rudolph Was Grounded Because He Went Down In History 70
Rugby Is A Game Played By Gentlemen With Odd Shaped Balls – Rugby Or The Gentlemen? Rule A Kingdom As Though You Were Cooking A Small Fish - Don't Overdo It [Lao-Tzu] Rule Of Thumb: Wife May Not Be Beaten With Stick Thicker Than Husband's Thumb Rule Zero: Basic Most Important Rule Of Doing That Always Comes Before All Others Rule Zero Of Life: Don't Be On Fire! Rule Zero Of Retailing: The Customer Always Lies [Merchant’s Deep Down Conviction] Rule Zero Of Retailing: The Customer’s Always Right [Merchant’s Survival Mandate] Rule Zero Of The Internet: Don't “F’ With Cats Or We'll Find You Rules Are Either Elastic Or Get Broken! [Barry J. Lipson] Rules Make The Learner's Path Long, Examples Make It Short & Successful [Seneca] Rules Of The Game Rules Of War Rum Runners Rumble & Ramble In Blackberry Bramble, Billions Of Berries For Blackberry Jamble Rumor Travels Faster, But It Don't Stay Put As Long As Truth [Will Rogers] Rumor Without A Leg To Stand On Will Travel Even Faster Rumpelstiltskin, Rumpelstiltskin, The Name That Saves The Day - Or Does It? - For … Rumpelstiltskin Slyly A/K/A Ruidoquedito, Khlamushka, Martinko Klingác , Ootz-Li Gootz, Rumpelstilzchen, Cvilidreta, Gilitrutt, Joaidane, Pancimanci, Tom Tit Tot & Whuppity Stoorie Rumspringa: Amish Youth's Fling With Worldliness Before Deciding If Will Enter The Church Rumspringa: Beauteous Period For Amish Youth Prior Dismal Baptismal & Its Dire Aftermath Rumspringa: From Pennsylvania Dutch/German Verb ‘Rumspringen’ - To Jump Around Rumspringa: Romp & Rum For Amish Youth In Extended ‘Springa’ Break [Amish Spring Break] Rumspringa, Rumshpringa, Rumschpringe Or Rond Springen: Sowing Of Wild Oats [Amish] Run From Fox, Meet Bear [Old Proverb] Run From Fox Until Meet Her Bare At Fox Run Apartments In Bear, Delaware Run-On Sentences Runcible Spoon - Small 3 Pronged Fork, One Prong With Sharp Edge & Curved Like Spoon Runcible Spoon Shares 'Runcibleness' With Hat, Cat, Wall & Silly Goose [Edward Lear] Runners With Bad Footwear Suffer Agony Of Defeat Running Idle Running In Place Running Mouth Soon Healed By A Little Lockjaw Running Water Never Slows Down To A Walk, But Is Halted By A Still Pond Running Woman Holds Breasts For Beauty's Sake, Not For Fear They'll Fall Off Runny Babbit: A Billy Sook [Shel Silverstein's Children's Book] Rupturing Breast Implant CEO Mas’ Company Was A PIP (Poly Implant Prothese) Rupturing Breast Implant CEO May Be Tried For Manslaughter Though Only Women Involved Rural Metro [Ambulance Service] Rush Hour Rush Hour Is When Traffic Is Slowest Rush Hour Traffic Rush Limbaugh Accuses Obama Of Killing Christians First, Due Diligence To Follow [Colbert] Rush Limbaugh Accuses Then Researches, To Do Research First Would Be 'Pre-Search'[Colbert] Rush Limbaugh All Across The Fruited Plain, A/K/A Jeff Christie, 1972 KQV Pittsburgh DJ Rush Limbaugh Bemuses He Did Not Want Us To Pay For Sandra Fluke Having Sex 71
Rush Limbaugh Clucks Sandra Fluke F*cks So She Is ‘A Slut’ & ‘A Prostitute’ Rush Limbaugh Demands Sandra Fluke Makes & Posts Her 'Sex Tapes' Online For His Pleasure Rush Limbaugh Has Objected To Sandra Fluke Asking Congress For Contraceptive Coverage Rush Limbaugh Is Big Fat Idiot & Other Observations [Al Franken, Comedian & U.S. Senator] Rush Limbaugh Losing Advertisers Over Sandra Fluke Not A Fluke! Rush Limbaugh Lost Advertisers: Quicken Loans, Proflowers, Sleep Train, Sleep Number, Etc. *Promoting Quick Spreads On Sheets & Mattresses With Thank-You Flowers Rush Limbaugh Outspoken Critic Of Leniency Towards Criminal Drug Use [TV, 10-5-95] Rush Limbaugh Paid $30,000 & 18-Months Therapy To Have Criminal Drug Charges Dropped Rush Limbaugh Rushes To Limbo Rush This Job Before You Rush The Rush Job You Were Rushing When I Rushed In! Rush To … Rush To Due Process [Moron’s Guide, 77th Edition] Rush To Judgment Rush To Limbo Rush To Victory Rush To War Russia, Alaska's Backyard , See It From My Alaskan Backyard [Palin] Russian American Russian Economy Russian Roulette Russki Or Russkie: Russians Name For Themselves, Disparaging When Used By Others Rustic Elegance RutherFraud Hayes [Rutherford B. Hayes] Ruthless Idealist Ruthless Idealist Translates To ‘Realist’ RV Resort
S S & P Downgraded By US For Standard’s Poor Math Two Trillion Dollar Error S & P Downgrades USA Bonds From USAAA To USAA+ & US Bonds Go Up S.H.I.T. [Servicio De Hosteleria Industrial De Terraassa - Spain] Sabbath Goy Sabertooth [Bush II For Barney Frank, Democratic Congressman, Massachusetts] Sabotage The Hunt - Shoot The Fox! Saccharin Is Saccharine Being 500X Sweeter Than Sugar & LowCal. It’s Thus Sweet N’ Low®! Sacred Cows Make The Best Hamburgers [Mark Twain] Sacred Cows Make The Best Hamburger, India Excepted! Sacred Sucker Fish of Amerind Klamath Tribe Under Fire From Oregon Rednecks Sacred Sucker Fishers’ Bumper Sticker 'Save A Farmer, Fillet A Sucker Fish' For Suckers Sacrifice Admiration Of Many Men For Criticism Of One, Get Married [Katharine Hepburn] Sad Clown Sad Eyes Sad Humor Sad Optimist Sad Smile 72
Sad Smiley Sad Songs Say So Much [Elton John] Saddam's Damn Dam [Mosul Dam] Saddest Desires: Ill To Be Well, Poor To Be Rich, & Traveler To Be ‘Anywhere But Here’ [EEC] Saddest Moment In A Person's Life Comes But Once Saddest Moment In A Person's Life Comes But Once, As Does The Happiest Sadly Amused Sadly Funny Sadomasochism Saesnes, Sais & Sassenach: Meaning Saxon, Derogatory Welsh & Scottish Names For English Safe Abortion Safe & Sane Fireworks Safe Bet Safe Chemical Safe Fireworks Safe Guns Safe Harbor Safe Harbors Are For Timeouts & Not For All Times Safe Investment Safe Seat Safe Sex Safe Sex Is Locked Car Doors Safe Sex Is Practice At My Place, I've Got A Handrail Around The Bed Safe Sex Is Practice At My Place, Not Perfected Yet – But Practiced! Safe Sex Is Practiced Best By A Man & His Strong Right Hand Safe Weapons Safest Place During An Earthquake Would Be In A Stationary Store Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted [Headline - Ouch!] Safety Glass Safety Hazard Safety In Numbers Safety In Numbers Doesn't Apply To WMD's Safety Nazi, Extreme Safety Advocate Impervious To Opposing Positions Safety Net Has Become A Hammock [Bill Maher] Safeway Not Safe For Shot Congress Woman Sage Of Kinderhook [Martin Van Buren] Sage Of Monticello [Thomas Jefferson] Sail Away From The Safe Harbor… Explore, Dream, Discover [Mark Twain] Sailor Who Weds Widow Becomes A Second Mate Sailor's Discharge Left Buddies Behind Slowly Saint & Sinner -- New York Gov. Eliott Spitzer Saints & Sinners Saint Anthony's Fire Saints Are Sinners Who Kept On Going [Robert Louis Stevenson] Saint Elmo's Fire Saint Martin's Summer 73
Saint-Mihiel Offensive Saint Or Sinner? -- Michael Jackson Saint Sinner [TV 2002] Saint Ulmo's Light Saint Vincent & The Grenadines Saint Vitus Dance Saintly Blasphemy Saintly Concern Saintly Disdain Saks Fifth Avenue On Smithfield St [Pittsburgh, PA] Saks Fifth Avenue, Which Has Never Been On Fifth Avenue In Pittsburgh, PA, Is Closing Salad Freshens Without Enfeebling & Fortifies Without Irritating [Brillat-Savarin] Salmon Steak Salt Is White & Pure, There Is Something Holy In Salt [Nathaniel Hawthorne] Salt Lake Salvation Is Defined Through Suffering As There's No Comfort Without Pain [Cato] Sam [Cadet U.S. Grant] Same Clichés Same Difference Same Old Brand New Excuse Same Old Same Old Same-Sex Marriage Sample Prototype Samson Slew 1000's With Jawbone Of Ass, Just Like Salesmen Kill Sales Today Samsung Galaxy: There Are No Giant Foam Fingers That Say 'We're Number 3' *Samsung Galaxy: No One Wants To Tell An Average Joke *Samsung Galaxy: No One Wants To. .. Make An Underwhelming Entrance *Samsung Galaxy: No One Wants To ... Go Out With A Whimper *Samsung Galaxy: No One Ever Stood With A Hairbrush Pretending To Play Tambourine *Samsung Galaxy: Definitely More Kids Dressed As Batman, Than Robin *Samsung Galaxy, Milky Way It’s Not! San & Santo & Saint & St., Denote A Deceased Who Has Been ‘Saintitized’ By Canonization San Dusky: Self-Image Of Jack Sandusky Of Penn State Infamy Fame *San Francesco d'Assisi, Patron Saint Of Animals, Environment & Co-Patron Saint Of Italy *San Francisco & Pope Francis Both Named For San Francesco d'Assisi [St. Francis Of Assisi] *San Dusky, Patron Saint Of Animalistic Clergy, Pedophiles & The Penn *San Dusky & San Quentin, Both Unsaintly At Least For Not Having Been Named For A Saint *San Dusky, Penned In Pen But Not In Unsaintly San Quentin California State Pen *San Dusky, Sunsetted Darkening Saint *San Quentin Allegedly Named For Coast Miwok Warrior Quentín Captured In Disgrace There *San Quentin Patron Saint Of Locksmiths & Invoked Against Coughs/Sneezes [Circa 287AD] *San Quentin Pen Thus Saintly As 'San' Is In Its Name Not Quentín's & Pens Need Locks? *San Quentin & San Dusky: Latter However Still Remains Unsaintly & In Disgrace *San Dusky: Alternatively One Wishing He Was Hiding Out At 6900 Dusky Drive In St. Louis Sanctimommy Sandwich Placed Order In Bar & Was Told 'Sorry We Don’t Serve Food In Here 74
Sandy Evokes Image Of Rocking In Rockaway Sands On Sandy, Not Sandy Rocketing Sands Sandy Hit Rockaway Rocketing Sands Helter-Skelter! Sandy The Frankenstorm Sanitary Landfill Sanitary Napkin Sanitary Sewer Santa Claus Has The Right Idea, Visit People Once A Year [Victor Borge] Santa Claus Lost In Bermuda Triangle, Some People Don't Believe! Santa Is So Jolly Because He Knows Where All The Bad Girls Live Santa’s Helper Elves Are Subordinate Clauses Santorum Federal Tax Rate ‘Topped 27 Percent For Past 3 Years,’ As Much As His Secretary? Santorum In 2010 Paid 14.6% More Fed Taxes Than Romney & Made Nearly $21 Million Less Santorum Savaged By Sex Columnist 'Dear Dan' As 'Frothy Mixture Of Lube & Fecal Matter' Santorum Says His Wife ‘Is The Heavy Weight Champion Of My Life’ Santorum Wants To Fight ‘The Dangers Of Contraception’ [Michael Scherer] Santorum With Addition Of Dan's 'A' For Anal & 'I' For Intercourse, Becomes 'Sanatorium' Santorum's Sanatorium, An Insane Asylum For The Chronically Gay Sap In Family Tree Was She, Sap In Family Tree Is He Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out [Dr. Hook & Medicine Show] Sarcasm Is Just One More Service We Offer Sarcasm Is Losers Trying To Bring Winners Down To Their Level Sarcasm Is The Refuge Of Losers Sarcastically Scot Called Saskatchewanian Sasquatch An Insatiably Sarky Sardonic Sassenach SARS Australian Canned Soft Drink Sartre-Castic Sass Me B’atch? Sassily Demure Sassy Lassie Satan’s Mass Satire Is Glass Wherein Beholders Discover Everybody's Face But Their Own Satires Which The Censor Can Understand Are Justly Forbidden [Karl Kraus] Satisfaction Is Seeing Your Children Cope With Teenagers Of Their Own! Satisfaction Lies In The Effort, Not In The Attainment [Mohandas Gandhi] Sauce For The Goose Is Sauce For The Gander Sauce For The Goose Is Sauce For The Gander, But What For Chicken, Duck Or Turkey? Save Face By Keeping The Lower Part Of It Shut Save Face By Keeping Your Mouth Shut Save Money & Money Will Save You Save The Boobies Save The Earth...... It's The Only Planet With Chocolate!!!!! Save The Tigers, Fill The Zoos! Save Time, See It My Way Save Us The Aisle Seats [Roger Ebert] Save Water, Take A Bath With A Member Of The Opposite Sex Save Your Breath, You Still Need It To Blow Up Your Doll Of A Date Tonight! Saving Price 75
Saving Souls Savings & Loan Sawbones Sawbuck: Ten-Spot, $10 Bill Or Hamilton; But A Dead President As Hamilton Isn't? Say Goodnight ‘Til It Be Morrow Say Is Neatsville, I’m Abreast, Out In Front Of The Rest With Elitesville [Blossom Dearie] Say It Don't Spray It Say It With Flowers Say It With Flowers, Give 'Em A Triffid Say What!? Say Your Prayers & Take Your Vitamins [Dif'rent Strokes] Saying He Has The Manners Of A Pig Is An Insult To Pigs Everywhere Saying How Young You Look, Means 'They Are Telling You How Old You Are' [Cary Grant] Saying Nothing Scalding Coolness Scale Down Scarce As Hen's Teeth Scarecrow Won Outstanding Award For Being Out Standing In His Field Scary Horrors Of The Ocean Depths Photographed By Brian Skerry Scatological Pornographer Ira Isaacs Federally Convicted For ‘2 Girls 1 Cup-Type’ Film Scene Is Dull, Tell Him To Put More Life Into His Dying [Samuel Goldwyn] Scented Deodorant Schadenfreude Schadenfreude - CEO Getting Shackled Schadenfreude - Fullback Getting Tackled Schadenfreude - Malicious Joy Delighting In Another's Misfortune Scheduled Spontaneity Schizophrenia Beats Being Alone Schlemiel, Yiddish For A Dolt, A Bungler, An Inept Clumsy Person Schlepping/Shlepping, Yiddish For Tedious Carrying, Dragging, Hauling, Journeying, Walking Schlimazel/Schlemazl, A Person So Unlucky A Schlemiel Would Spill Soup On Him & Does Schlimazel/Schlemazl: Yiddish For A Chronically Unlucky Person, One With No Mazel Schlock, Yiddish For Stuff So Shoddy & Inferior An Appraisal Will Give You A Stroke [Shlak] Schlong, A Yiddishe Shlang [Snake] In The Bush, What A Putz & Schmuck Are Named For Schlong Day's Journey Into Knight, Long Day's Journey Into Plight Schlong Day's Journey Into Night [The Nerdist] Schlub, A Yiddishe Zholb [Hick], A Clumsy, Stupid, Unattractive Person Schmaltz, Jewish Lard, Consisting Of Pure Chicken Fat Schmaltz, Yiddish For Chicken Fat & For Schmearing It On In Excessive Sentimentality Schmatta: Rags to Riches to Rags [HBO 2009] Schmatta/Schmutter, Yiddish For A Worn Out Old Rag Of A Garment, Junk & Sclock Schmegeggy, Yiddish/Yinglish For Dickhead, Idiot, The One ‘She Lives With’ [Philip Roth] Schmendrik, A Narishkayt From ‘Shmendrik Or The Comical Wedding’ [A. Goldfaden 1877] Schmendrik/ Shmendrik, A Foolish, Hapless, Clueless, Contemptible Young Man Schmo/Shmo, Yiddish For Stupid Schmuck; No Relation To Our' Friend Al Capp’s Shmoo Schmoo Is A Shmoo Who Has Made Aliyah To Israel, Dogpatch Commune 76
Schmooze, Yiddish For Small Talk, Chatting Informally, Aimlessly & For The Fun Of It Schmuck Is Large Erect Prick While Putz Is Nasty Small Limp One, Both Are Yiddish Insults Schmuck, Schmo Or Schmegeggy? ‘It's Hard Out Here For A Weiner’ On iPhone [BBerkowitz] Schmuck/Shmuck, Yiddish For A Prick Who Is Also A Jerk [& So Abuses Himself?] Schmuckluck Schmue/Shmue/Schmundie, Yinglish For A Schmuck’s Home Companion, His Pussy! Schmutz , Yiddish For Dirt, Mud & Food Schmeared On Your Face Or Clothes After Noshing Schnook, Yiddish For A Gullible, Easily Imposed-Upon, Pitifully Meek Or Cheated Person Schnorrer, Yiddish For One Who Wheedles Others Into Supplying His Wants, A Beggar Schnoz/Schnozzle, Yiddishe Nose, Large Cyrano De Bergerac & Pinocchio-Type Noses Schnozzola, Variation Of Schnoz, Popularized By Jimmy Durante As ‘The Great Schnozzola’ Scholar Joins History Department [IronHerder Header] - Poor Lonely Solitudinarian! Scholarship School Food School Is Not For Asking Questions, It's A Place To Be Out Of This House [Dinosaurs 1991] School System School Vacation Schoolhouse Rock Schoolmaster [Woodrow Wilson] Schoolteacher Is Disillusioned Woman Who Used To Think She Liked Children Schooner Or Later Sailors Engage In Rudder Nonsense Schtick/Shtick, Yiddishe For Talent, Style Or Other Eccentricity For Which A Person Is Know Schtick: Stinginess, Bad Violinist & Always Being 39 Were Part Of Jack Benny's Schtick Schtick: 'Take My Wife - Please!' Was Part Of Henny Youngman's Schtick Schvartze The Yiddish ‘N’ Word Schvitzing, Yiddishe For Sweating, Perspiring, Exuding Moisture From Heat Schweppervescence Lasts The Whole Drink Through Science Fiction Science Fiction Becomes Reality Science Fiction Dreams Meet Reality [National Academy of Engineering] Science Fiction Not Westerns & Detectives Is Proper Fodder For Politicians Science Fiction: ‘What Used To Be Science Fiction Has Turned Into Reality’ Science Is Nothing But Trained & Organized Common Sense [Thomas Huxley] Science Is Organized Knowledge, Wisdom Is Organized Life [Immanuel Kant] Science Is Proof Without Certainty, Creationists Certainty Without Proof [Ashley Montague] Science Is Truth, But Don't Be Misled By Fact Science Is What Happens When Preconception Meets Verification Science Of Art Science Professor Publishes Research [IronHerder Header] Science Professor Publishes Research, After Colleague Didn’t & Died Science Without Religion Is Lame; Religion Without Science Is Blind [Albert Einstein] Science's Main Branches Are Biology, Chemistry & Physics, All Other Subjects Are Subsets Scientific Authority Questioned As Heresy Is Spring From Which New Ideas Flow [JC Polanyi] Scientific Belief Scientific Chiropractic Scientific Consensus 77
Scientific Creationism Scientific Method Scientific Speculation Scientist Experimenting With Liquid Chemicals Fell In & Became Part Of The Solution Scientist Found Food That Greatly Reduces Sex Drive, It's Called Wedding Cake [Laura Estes] Scientist's Code: Observe, Analyze, Deduce! [Science Dude Code & Oath - Bones] Scientist's Oath: We Get The Facts, & Say What's True, Because That's What Scientists Do! Scientist's Oath: We See Big Stars, Tiny Atoms, Too, Because That's What Scientists Do! Scientist's Oath: We Use Our Minds, Embrace What's New, Because That's What Scientists Do! Scoobie-Du-Bu -- One More Time Play Mack The Knife [Blossom Dearie] Scooby Dooby Doo [Scooby Doo] Scope® Mouthwash – ‘Slurp It In, Spit It Out!’ Scotch® Tape Brand Name Is Registered Trademark Of 3M, Whose Mascot Was Scotty McTape Scotch® Tape Origin Pejorative: 'Your Stingy Scotch Bosses' Need To 'Put More Adhesive On It' Scotch® Tape Wrongly Identified By Holmes In Elementary As Product Of Company Not 3M Scottish Cuisine Scottish Danish Pastry Scotty, Beam Me Up! Scotty Very Funny, Now Beam Down My Clothes. Scrabble Anarchy After 'Putzhead' Is Placed On A Triple-Word Score [Haiku] Scramble, Please! It’s No Fun Scrambling Alone! [Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea] Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel Scratch My Back Scratch My Back ‘Till It Bleeds Scream For Ice Cream Scream Silence Screaming In Silence Screaming Silence Screaming Silently [Silence Of The Lambs] Screw Up Your Courage! You’ve Screwed Up Everything Else! Screw Ups Even Serve A Purpose, They Serve As A Warning To Others Scribd Cover Art [Barry J. Lipson – See Cover At End] Scripted Spontaneity Scroogled By Google, One & All, So Says Microsoft Scrub Oak Rd In Quogue, NY Is Over 112 Miles From Shrub Oak, NY & 80 From Big Apple Sea Captains Don't Like Crew Cuts Sea Change Sea Change Not C-Change Sea Farming Sea Food Differently/ See Food Differently [Red Lobster] Sea Lion Is Like Tupperware, Both Seeking A Tight Seal Sea Monsters Eat Fish & Ships, After Awaking From Dinosnores Comas Sea Of Sand Sea Of Tranquility Sea Shore Sea Was A Bit Choppy After That Ground Meat Freighter Sunk 78
Seacoast Seafood Restaurant At Sea World? ‘I Could Be Eating A Slow Learner’ [LBJ] Seagen Seamstress & Sewer Fell Down Into Sewer Line Séamus, In English James & Hebrew Jacob - Supplanter, Literally ‘One Who Grabs At Heel’ Seamus ‘The Trickster’ tricked To Lake Erie Shore Banishment, Not Éire [Luck Of Irish 2001] Séance Supplicants Seeking Spirits & Spooks Spiritedly Spirited Away By CIA Spooks Seaport Search Party Searching For The Light Under The Sun! Searching For The Light Switch Under The Sun! Seashore Seasoned Veteran Is One Who Survived Mustard Gas & Pepper Spray Seat Belts Are Not As Confining As Wheelchairs, Wear Them! Seating Stands Second Best Second Day Of A Diet Is Always Easier As By Then You're Off It [Jackie Gleason] Second Estate [Lords Temporal] Second Initial Second Last Second Marriages Are Triumphs Of Hope Over Experience Second Mile Founded 1977 By Jerry Sandusky To Help Youngsters Reach Their Full Potential Second Mile/Jerry Sandusky ‘Were Pimping Out Young Boys To Rich Donors’ [Mark Madden] Second Mile: Roman Soldier Could Compel Civilian To Carry His Load For A Mile [But Not 2] Second Mile: Sermon On Mount -‘Whoever Compels You To Go One Mile, Go With Him Two’ Second Mile: Transformed To ‘Going Extra Mile’- Now Merely Meaning Giving A Little Extra Second Mile's Sandusky, Penn State Football Coach, Convicted Of 45 Child Sex-Abuse Charges Second Most Powerful Phrase 'Watch This!'; Most Powerful 'Oh Yeah? Watch This!' Second Oldest Profession [Prostitution To Politics] Second Opinion Second Runner Up Second Time Around Secondhand Car Secondhand Rose Secondhand Smoke Secondhand Speech Secrecy Is The Beginning Of Tyranny Secret FBI Files Secret Intelligence Secret Of Being A Bore Is To Tell Everything [Voltaire] Secret Of Patience Is Doing Something Else In The Meantime Secret Of Staying Young Is Live Honestly, Eat Slowly & Lie About Your Age [Lucille Ball] Secret Of Success Is Sincerity, Once You Can Fake That, You've Got It Made Secret Of Success Is To Know Something Nobody Else Knows Secret Of The Universe Was Blown Up In The Big Bang Secret, Something You Can't Keep To Yourself 79
Secret Rumor Secret Secretary Secret Secretariat Secret Society Open House Secret Sources Are More Credible Secret To A Rich Life Is To Have More Beginnings Than Endings [Dave Weinbaum] Secret To Happiness & Good Health - Sample A Little Bit Of Everything [Julia Child] Secret To Success Is Knowing Who To Blame For Your Failures Secret: Tomorrows News! Secretarial Science Secretariat Subverted Secretariat’s Competition In 1973Triple Crown Secretary Becomes Fixture When Screwed On Desk Secretary Did Secretarial Services For Secret Secretariat At CIA Secretary, Quite A Broad, Secretively Seduced By Board Secretary On The Secretaire Secretively Both Of Them Added Half A Lethal Dose To Her Drink. Who’s The Murderer? Secular Fundamentalism Secular Religion Security Risk Sedate Sex Sedentary Living Seductive Innocence See A Pin & Let It Lie, Bad Luck You'll Have All Day See A Pin & Pick It Up, All The Day You'll Have Good Luck See A Shopping Center & You’ve Seen A Mall See How Much Milk The Buffalo Gives Before You Buy Her See In The Sea, 'Like A Mirror, Is Where A Man Finds Himself' [Ishmael, Moby Dick] See No Evil, Hear No Evil & Date No Evil See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do No Evil See One Mêlée Of Unruly People & You've Seen A Maul See One Shopping Center You've Seen A Mall See One Shopping Center You've Seen 'Em Mall See-Quest-Her: What A Peeping Tom Does See-Saw See-Saw: 'I See...' Said The Blind Man, 'I Saw...' Said The Carpenter See See, Seaweed Is Found In The Sea! See, See What Shall I See, A Horse's Head Where His Tail Should Be? See The Mirror In Your Eyes, See The Truth Behind The Lies [In & Out Of Love] See The USA In A Chevrolet See Things & Say Why; Or Dream Things That Never Were & I Say Why Not? [G.B. Shaw] See What I Am Saying? See What Is & Ask Why, Or Dream What Isn’t & Ask Why Not [George Bernard Shaw] See You In Heaven, If You Make The List [REM] Seed Money Made Available To Help Entrepreneur Set Up New Enterprise Or Business Seed Money Needed, Be It For Black-Billed Seed-Finches Or Yellow-Bellied Seedeaters Seed Money Needed By Farmers To Replant Crops Genetically Engineered To Be Infertile 80
Seedless Watermelon Seeds For Sale! [Park Seed - Harvest Moon 10 Seeds $9.95] Seeing Is Believing Seeing Is Deceiving Seeing Is Deceiving, It's Eating That's Believing [James Thurber] Seeing Ones Eye Doctor On An Alaskan Island Is An Optical Aleutian Seek & Ye Shall Find Seek & You Shall Find For 'He That Seeketh Findeth' [Matthew 7:7-8] Seeking Oranges On Apple Trees Is A Fruitless Search, Without Graft Seeking Solitude I Am Locked In The Closet. For Once I Need You [Cat Haiku] Seen It All, Done It All, Can't Remember A Thing Seismophobia - Fracking Fear Of Earthquakes, Some Now Due To Natural Gas Frack Jobs Self-Abuse Self-Assertiveness Course Today – ‘ Please Barge In’ Self-Centered Trumpet Player Toots Own Horn Self Confrontation Self-Congratulations Guarantees Disaster Self Defense Competition Self-Deportation Self-Deprecation Self-Destructive Self-Exploitation Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Law: Believe Worst & It Will Happen, Believe Best & Who Knows ... Self-Gratification Self-Help Self-Help Book Self-Help Group Self Help Group For Compulsive Talkers Is Called On & On Anon Self-Help Groups Unsuccessful Self Help Section Available If You Can Find It Self-Made Men Fall Into The Trap Of Worshipping Their Creator Self- Masochism Self Regulation Self-Rescue [Wind-Surfing] S elf-Seeking Self-Seeking Selflessness Self-Seeking Shortsightedness Greatest Stymier Of Business Betterment [Barry J. Lipson] Self-Seeking Shortsightedness Greatest Stymier Of Fraternal Betterment [Barry J. Lipson] Self-Seeking Shortsightedness Greatest Stymier Of Government Betterment [Barry J. Lipson] Self-Service Self-Service Stretcher Self-Taught Selfies Selfish Lover Seize The Day Sell Cell Phones 81
Sell Prison Cell Cell Phone Sell The Crunch Not The Apple Sell The Sizzle Not The Steak Selling Sucks, A Terrific New Book That Blows Lid Off Old-School Salesmanship [Joe Vitale] Semi-Boneless Semi-Boneless Ham Semi-Precious Semi-Private Semi-Professional Semi-Retired Semi-Truck Seminar On Time Travel Will Be Held Two Weeks Ago Seminars Are From "Semi" & "Arse", Hence Seminars Are Half-Assed Discussions Semipalmated Plovers* Semiprecious Semiprivate Semiprofessional Semiretired Semper Fi [Trace Adkins] Semper Fi, Do Or Die Semper Fi, You Rat You Fry [NCIS] Semper Fidelis [Sousa] Semper Fit, Marine Corps Fitness Center Sen. Scott Brown Funded Education Posing Nude For Cosmopolitan Magazine [R -MA] Sen. Scott Brown Quipped 'Thank God' To Rival Eliz. Warren's Crack 'I Kept My Clothes On' Senate Ethics Committee Senate Intelligence Committee Senator From Pendergast [Harry S. Truman, Referring To Political Boss Tom Pendergast] Senators Abandon Washington [1961 To Minnesota (Twins) & 1972 To Texas (Rangers)] Senators Abandon Washington Through Their Partisan Gridlock & Squabbling Send A Salami To Your Boy In The Army [Katz's Delicatessen, NYC] Send Lawyers, Guns & Money [Warren Zevon] Send Off Party, Sent Him Off With A Belly Dancer Senior Freshman Sense Of Humor & Common Sense Are The Same At Different Speeds [Clive James] Sense Of Humor Is Just Common Sense, Dancing [Clive James] Sense Of The Congress Sensitive Bigot Sensitive Debutante Sensitive Guy Sensitive Male Sensitive Man Sensitivity Of This Staff Is Distaff Sensitivity Sent Twelve Telegrams Randomly Saying 'All Is Discovered, Flee At Once' & All Did! Sentence First - Verdict Afterwards [Alice-Red Queen] Separable Variables 82
Separation Of Church & State Separation Of State Church Septic Or Seppo: Aussie & British For American, That Is A 'Septic Tank - Yank' Septic Tank Truck Advises 'We're #1 In The #2 Business' Sequester Is To Forcibly Take Enemy, Illegal Or Illegally Held Property Sequester Is To Form A Stable Compound Sequester Is To Hide Away Sequester Is To Keep Separate Sequester Is To Take Property By Police Power Or Operation Of Law Sequester [See-Quest-Her] – What A Peeping Tom Does [Quest To See Her] Sequestered In Its Hate [W. H. Auden] Sequestration At Law Is A Writ That Authorizes The Seizure Of Property Sequestration In Congressionalese: Changes Word Sequester From Verb To Noun Sequestration In Congressionalese: From1985 Gramm-Rudman-Hollings Deficit Reduction Act Sequestration In Congressionalese: Mandatory, Automatic, Blind, Across-Board Spending Cuts Sequestration In Congressionalese: Mandatory, Hidden, Taking Of Our Property & Services Sequestration Of Jury: Judge's Isolation Of A Jury To Avoid Accidental Or Deliberate Tainting Serenely Full The Epicure Sat Unharmable By Fate, He Had 'Dined Today' [Sydney Smith] Sergeant Major Sergeant Asked Private ‘What Does Surrender Mean?’ He Answered ‘I Give Up!’ Sergeant Major Did The Grunt Work, Always Being Interested In Privates Serial Hypocrisy Serial Killer Hid Out At Kroger’s, Police Discovered All The Cheerios Boxes Were Emptied Serial Killer Wanted To Be An Ostrich, He Kept Burying Other People’s Heads In The Sand Serial Killers Didn’t Have Kelloggs, They Pop Their Own Snaps & Crackles Serial Monogamy Serious Clown Serious Comic Serious Campers Are Intense Serious Conservative [Mitt Romney] Serious Conservative, Hope It’s Not Catching! Serious Felony Serious Fun Serious Game Serious Humor Serious Musician Serious Play Serious Rest Seriously Funny Seriously Insane Seriously Joking Seriously Lying Seriously, You Need To Lighten Up Serve Dinner Backward, Do Anything, For 'Goodness Sake Do Weirdnesses' [Elsa Maxwell] Service Station Set A Man On Fire & He'll Be Set For Life, No Matter How Long 83
Set A Man On Fire & He'll Be Hot For Life, No Matter How Long Set A Man On Fire & He'll Be Hot For Life, No Matter How Short Set A Thief To Catch A Thief Set Amount Donation Set Free Set Off Set Our Course By The Stars, Not By The Lights Of Passing Ships [General Omar Bradley] Setbacks Add Some Salt To Every Sweet Success [Michael Garofalo] Settled Explorer Seven Billionth Delayed By Suicide Bombers Seven Days Make One Whole Week Seven Days On Honeymoon Make One Hole Weak Seven Days Without Laughter Makes One Weak, 7 Days Of Laughter Makes One Weaker! Seven Days Without A Pun Makes One Weak Seven Days Without Pizza Makes One Weak Seven-Eleven Is Open 24-7 But Still Has Locks On Its Doors! Seven-Figure Salary Earned By Me - But Unfortunately, There's A Decimal Point Involved Seven Year Itch Leads To Scratched Eyes & Severed Yearnings Seventeen Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree [The News & Observer] Seventy-Two Recycled Virgins Await Recall Just For You Seventeen Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree [The News & Observer] Severely Conservative [Romney Self-Description] Severely Killed Severity Of Itch Is Inversely Proportional To The Ability To Reach It Sewer Gator Sewer Of Seams, The Sultry Seamstress, Fell Head Over Heels In The Sewer Sewer Screwer Sewer Service Sewer Service Is Screwy Sewer Sewer Sewer Suer Sex Addict Sex Addict Saves Race Sex Alleviates Tension, Love Causes It! Sex & The City [TV] Sex Appeal Is 50% What You've Got & 50% What People Think You've Got Sex Change Clinic Toilet Sign Reads: ‘We May Never Piss This Way Again’ Sex Discriminates Against The Shy & The Ugly Sex-Doll Claim Inflated, ‘Blown Out Of Proportion’ College Board Prez Says [Darrell McMullen] Sex For Dinner, Death For Breakfast, Its Not Going To Work For Me! [Miranda Frost To 007] Sex Has No Calories Sex Has No Calories, But Getting There Does Sex Has No Remedy Butt Sex, Oops!, But Sex & More Sex Sex In America Is An Obsession, In Other Parts Of The World It's A Fact [Marlene Dietrich] Sex Is A Three-Letter Word Needing Vintage Four-Letter Words To Spark It Sex Is Better Than Logic, But Can You Prove It? 84
Sex Is Dirty Only If It's Done Right Sex Is Good, But Not As Good As Fresh, Sweet Corn [Garrison Keillor] Sex Is Good When Served With Hot Buttered Corn Sex Is Hereditary, If Your Parents Never Had It, Chances Are You Won't Either Sex Is Like A Ford Explorer, Going Too Fast May Cause A Roll-Over Injury Sex Is Like Air, It's Not Important Unless You Aren't Getting Any Sex Is Like Math: Subtract Clothes, Add Bed, Divide Legs & Hope 2 Hell Not 2 Multiply Sex Is Like Snow, You Never Know How Many Inches Or How Long It Will Last Sex Is Natural, But Not If It's Done Right Sex Is Not Important Unless You Aren’t Getting Any Sex Is Not The Answer, Sex Is The Question. 'Yes' Is The Answer! Sex Is One Of The 9 Reasons For Reincarnation, The Other 8 Are Unimportant [Henry Miller] Sex Is Part Of Nature - I Go Along With Nature [Marilyn Monroe] Sex Is Pain Interpreted Pleasantly Sex Is The Most Beautiful, Wholesome & Natural Thing That Money Can Buy Sex Is The Poor Man's Polo [Clifford Odets] Sex Kitten Sex Like Vacations Never Lasts Long Enough Sex Makes You Alert & Ready To Face The World & Is Far Preferable To A Hot Breakfast Sex On Television Can't Hurt You Unless You Fall Off The Set Sex Takes Up The Least Amount Of Time & Causes The Most Amount Of Trouble Sex We Had Was So Good Even The Neighbors Had A Cigarette Sex With Its Joy Clears & Sharpens The Vision [Helen Keller] Sex Without Love Is An Empty Experience, But Still One Of The Best SEXCEREAL®, ‘Made In Canada, Eaten Globally’, Created With Sexual Health In Mind SexCies™, Intimate Shapewear Lingerie Created By C-Sectioned Mom ‘To Hide Her Pooch’ SexCies™ Surely Will Incite Exotic Ecstatic Exclamations Of ‘Here Poochie, Pooch!’ Sexless Marriage Sexology Professor Publishes Porn, Colleagues Do Too & Spawn Sexploitation Sexting Sexting, Act Of Sending Sexually Explicit Messages & Photos, Primarily Between Cell Phones Sexting Is Not Sweet, It's Off-Limits Until You're In A Relationship [Gossip Girl] Sexting Is Personalized Pornography, With The Added Potential Of Surprise Public Exposure Sexting - Sexy Texting Sextremism [Femem] Sexual Harassment Sexual Harassment – Teasing Or Touching ‘Her-Ass- Meant’ Sexual Harassment Sexual Harassment – Teasing Or Touching Her Or Him In An Unwelcomed Manner Sexual Immorality Sexual Intercourse Is A Grossly Overrated Pastime, Position Is Undignified [Lord Chesterfield] Sexual Intercourse ... Pleasure Momentary & Consequences Damnable [Lord Chesterfield] Sexual Morality Sexual Tension Sexy Shoe Shine Service - Low Cut & Low Hung [Star Shine, NYC] Sexy Typist Bangs On Keyboard! 85
Sexy Ugly Sexy Volvo Sgt Shultz: I See Nothing! I Hear Nothing! I Know Nothing! [Hogan’s Heroes] Sh – For Yiddish/Yiddishe/Yinglish Words See Also ‘Sch’ Shabby Chic Shabby Chic [Pawley's Island, SC] Shabby Tabby Shades [Bush II For Peter Wallsten, Blind Reporter For The Los Angeles Times] Shadow Are Unreliable, They Disappear In Darkness Shake A Tit [Take A Shit] Shaken, Not Stirred [Goldfinger] Shakespeare & At Least 79 Others Are Proposed As Author Of Shakespeare [1564-1616] Shakespeare First Used In Print: Assassination, Bump, Lustihood, Shipwrackt & Spilth, Etc Shakespeare ‘Ghost Writers’ Begin With A: Wm. Alexander, 1st Earl Of Stirling [1568-1640] Shakespeare ‘Ghost Writers’ End With Z: Sheik Shaykh Zubayr Bin William [16th Century] Shakespeare ‘Ghost Writers’ Include Such As Bacon, Jonson, Marlowe & Sir Walter Raleigh Shakespeare Hyphenated 'SHAKE--SPEAR[E]' On 15 Quartos [See Quarto At End] Shakespeare Hyphenation suggests ‘Spear Shaker’ Pseudonym & Not Real Identity Shakespeare Liked To Coin New Words Too. Gotta Celebrate It! [Sarah Palin] Shaking Quakers Shalom, Hebrew Used As Hello & Goodbye Salutations, Meaning ‘Peace’ Shame, Shame Everybody Knows Your Name [Sesame Street] Shameless Commerce [Car Talk] Shamelessly Unashamedly Or Shame, Shame On You! Shaming Of The True [Kevin Gilbert's Rock Opera] Shamus, A Detective - From Hebrew Shammes Or Possibly From Irish Name Seamus Shanghaied Sailor Shanghaied Sailor Shanghaied To Shanghai Shape Is A Good Part Of The Fig's Delight [Jane Grigson] Shape Is A Good Part Of The Fig's Delight, Especially In Her Arms Tonight Share & Share Alike Share Your Knowledge, It's A Way To Achieve Immortality [Dali Lama] Shared Experience Shared Joy Is Double Joy & Shared Sorrow Is Half Sorrow Shared Liability Shared Loneliness Shared Monopoly Shared Responsibility Shared Secret Sharing Food Is An Intimate Act That Shouldn't Be Indulged In Lightly [M. F. K. Fisher] Shark Monument To Shark That Landed On Roof Of 2 New High Street, Headington, England Sharp & Dull Sharp Curve Sharp Knife [Andrew Jackson From Creek Indians] Sharp Knife Cuts The Quickest & Hurts The Least [Katherine Hepburn] Sharp Tongues Come As Standard Equipment With Dull Minds 86
Sharp Tongue Is No Indication Of Keen Mind Shazam! [Captain Marvel] Shazz-Bot!!! [Mork - Mork & Mindy] She Ate So Many Clams That Her Stomach Rose & Fell With The Tide [Louis Kronenberger] She Beat Him In Oral Argument [Metaphorical Use Of ‘Beat’] She Beat Him With A Stick [Literal Use Of ‘Beat’] She Beat His Meat [Metaphysically Speaking] She Came In A Flood Of Tears & A Sedan Chair She Came In A Flood Of Tears & A Sedan Chair, Best Orgasm Ever! She Couldn't Choose Between Two Designer Bags, She Must Be Bisatchel She Criticized My Apartment, So I Knocked Her Flat She Doesn't Know Whether To Scratch Her Watch Or Wind His Snatch She Drains Me When I'm Empty [Have It All - Foo Fighters] She Drank Good Ale, Good Punch & Wine & Lived To The Age Of 99 [Tombstone] She Got Smart With Him, But He Didn't Know She Had A Beef With Him, He Had Meat Loaf & There Was A Fly On Top Of It! She Has A Body To Die For & A Face To Protect It She Hates Sex In The Movies, She Tried It Once & The Seat Folded Up Under Her She Is Outspoken, But We Don't Know By Whom She Just Curled Her Hair With Her Hair Straighteners She Knows Naught Twixt Head & Privities Who Devours Vast Oysters At Midnight [Juvenal] She Lacks The Power Of Conversation But Not The Power Of Speech [George Bernard Shaw] She Laughed So Hard She 'Had Tears Running Down Both Legs' She Looks As She's Been Poured Into Her Clothes & Forgot To Say When [P G Wodehouse] She Looks Great In & Out Of Her Corset & Boots She Looks Great In It, But She’s Normally Not One For Drawing Attention To Her Boobs She Maid My Bed & I Slept In Her – Is That How It’s Said In English? [The Govenator] She May Be Going To Hell Of Course, But At Least She Isn't Standing Still [E.E. Cummings] She-Male She Screams In Silence [Green Day, 'She'] She Stiffed Her Exorcist & Get Repossessed She Thought She Got Dress For A Ridiculous Price, But Really Got It For An Absurd Figure She Tried To Sit On My Lap, & I Was Standing Up [The Big Sleep, 1946] She Used To Diet On Any Kind Of Food She Could Lay Her Hands On [Arthur Baer] She Was Engaged To A Vet With A Wooden Leg, Until She Broke It Off She Was Good As Cooks Go &As Cooks Go She Went [Saki] She Was Had Before By A Football Jockster She Was Had Before By A Footloose Jokester She Was Had Before By A Footpad Scammer She Was Only A Whisky Maker But He Loved Her Still She Went Behind A Rock To Get A Little Boulder She Who Cooks Beans & Peas In Same Pot Is Unsanitary She Who Is Silent Consents [Italian Proverb] She Who Must Be Obeyed [Rumpole Of The Bailey's Wife - BBC] She Who Springs On Inner Spring This Spring Gets Offspring Next Spring Shed Tear Say More Than A Hundred Spoken Words 87
Shed Your Sad Rags & Mad Rags For Glad Rags Sheep Dog Sheer Around Obstacle Sheer Descent Sheer Fall Into Water Sheer Persistence Sheer Silk Stockings Sheer Stupidity Sheer Wine Sheer Wino Shegetz & Shiksa, Yiddish For Young Gentile [Non-Jewish] Man & Woman, Respectively Shellfish Are The Prime Cause Of The Decline Of Morals [Pliny The Elder] Shemozzle, Irishized Yiddish - Quarrel, Brawl Like ‘A Shemozzle Near [Hurling] Goalmouth’ Shielding Men From Effects Of Folly Is To Fill The World With Fools [Herbert Spencer] Shelf Stretchers Shell-Less Turtle Is Naked & Homeless She's A Handful, A Real D Cup She's A Handful, A Real Devil She's Always Late, Her Ancestors Arrived On The Juneflower She’s Coming Round The Mountain When She Comes, When She Comes She's My Annie, & I’m Her Joe She's So Skinny, I've Seen More Meat On A Cheeze Sandwich She's The First In Her Family Born Without A Tail In The Back She's The Kind Of Girl Who Climbed The Ladder Of Success Wrong By Wrong [Mae West] She's The Man She's The Whole Package, Yo! She's Venus Smiling, Aphrodite Walking, A Lorelei Talking She's Venus Smiling, Juno Walking, Minerva Talking She's Venus Smiling, Not A Lorelei Singing, Not Medusa Staring Shifting Gears Shifts Of Fortune Test The Reliability Of Friends [Cicero] Shikker - Boozed, Hammered, Sauced, Sloshed, Stewed, Tanked, Tipsy, Trashed, Wasted! Shikker/Shicker, That’s Right, It’s Yiddishe For Drunk! Shin Is A Device For Finding Furniture In The Dark Shinbone Is A Device For Finding Furniture In A Dark Room Shining Example For Shunning Inbreeding Shining Wit [BBC's I’m Sorry, I Haven't A Clue] Shining Your Shoe Shipped With Insufficient Postage Shippers Ship By Truck & Send Cargo By Ship Ships Anchored In Harbors Are Safe But Useless Ships Are Not Built To Stay In Safe Harbors [William Shedd] Shipshape Shipshape & Bristol Fashion Shirley Temple [Drink] Shit House Is Dysphemism For Toilet, While Restroom Is Euphemism For Toilet 88
Shit On A Shingle Is Dysphemism For Creamed Chipped Beef On Toast Shitto Canned Fermented Fish Sauce From Ghana Shm – For Yiddish/Yiddishe/Yinglish Words See Also ‘Schm’ Shmoke [Marijuana] Shmoo Are Delicious To Eat, & Eager To Be Eaten [Li'l Abner] Shmoo Being Asexual Are Shmue-Less [Yinglish] Shmoo Can Supply All Of The World's Wants [Li'l Abner] Shmoo Can Supply All Of The World's Wants But One [Being Shmue-Less] Shmoo Is No Shmo/Schmo, Especially As It Is Also Shmuck-Less Shmoosical Comedies Of Frolickin’ Shmoo's Are So Entertainin’ [Li'l Abner] Shock: Past [Jack Barranger], Present [Douglas Rushkoff] & Future [Alvin Toffler] Shock Therapy Shocking! Positively Shocking! [007 Electrocuting A Bad Guy] Shoddy Ingredients Are To A Cook As Costume Jewelry Is To A Woman [Yuan Xical] Shoe Factory Position Didn't Last, I Just Didn't Fit In Shoe Stores Believe There's Dignity In De Feet Shoeless Joe From Hannibal Mo Shoeless Joe - Joseph Jefferson Jackson Fixer Of The 1919 World Series Shoeless Joe - You Shoeless Son Of A Gun, You! Shoemaker's Son Always Goes Barefoot Shoemaker's Son Always Goes Shoeless, Dressmakers Daughter Always Goes Dressless Shoot A Glance Shoot A Star Shoot Blanks Shoot First; Aim Later [Obama On Romney Foreign Policy] Shoot For The Moon & If You Miss You Will Still Be Among The Stars [Les Brown] Shoot From The Hip Shoot From The Lip [Romney On Foreign Policy Some Say] Shoot From The Lip [Leann Sweeney] Shooting Blanks, Nobody Born, No Body Activated Shooting Blanks, Nobody Injured, No Body Deactivated Shooting From The Hip Means You Ain't Thinking Or Aiming Straight Shooting From The Lip Means You Ain't Thinking Or Speaking Straight Shooting Star Esther Williams’ Aquatic Musicals In Water Tank On Soundstage 30 Shooting Star Finnish Soldier Simo Häyhä, 705 Confirmed Kills (505 As Sniper) In 100 Days Shooting Star John Lennon, Mark David Chapman Confessed 'I Just Shot John Lennon' Shooting Star Kansas City (MO) Rock Band, Released Shooting Star Album In 1980 Shooting Star Seen Flashing Across The Heavens Shooting Star VY Canis Majoris With Hubble 4,900 Light Years Away, Large & Luminous Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered [AP] Shop Long & Hard & Buy It Cheapest, But Alas Then It Will Still Be Cheaper Elsewhere Shop Till You Drop Shop Till You Drop, Then Find Some Hot Guys To Help You Up! Shopping Is Better Than Sex, If You're Not Satisfied, You Can Exchange It [Adrienne Gusoff] Shore Home Serves Newborn To The Elderly [Chesapeake Bay Banner] Short Arm [Penile Appendage] 89
Short Arm Inspection Short Arm Inspection Of Midget Uncovered One Too Long & Two Too Short Short Change Short Distance Short Giant Short Length Short Men Have Better Leverage [Bones] Short Pants Short Sale Short Saying Often Contains Much Wisdom [Sophocles] Short Sheeted Short Skirts Make Men Polite, Have You Ever Seen A Man Get On A Bus Ahead Of One? Short Staff Closed! – Hire Taller Staff! Short Survey Short Tall Tales Short Term Pleasure, Long Term Pain Short Usage Short Zizz Shortcuts Are The Longest Distance Between Two Points Shortest Answer Is To Do The Thing Shortest Distance Between Two Points Depends On Who's Giving The Directions Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is Always Under Construction Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is How Far Apart They Are Shortest Distance Between Two Puns Is A Straight Face Shortest Distance Between Two Puns Is A Straight Line Shortest Distance Between Two Puns Is A Straight Man Shortest Distance Between Two Singles Is A Straight Schlong Shortsighted Shortcut Is The Longest Distance Between Two Points Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is Under Construction Shorty Long Shot An Elephant In My Pants, How He Got There I'll Never Know[Groucho Marx] Shot Deer During Deer Season & Tourist During Tourist Season, But Latter With Camera Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66 [Headline – As Substitute Club Or Bouncy?] Shotgun Wedding Is A Case Of Wife Or Death Should Of, Could Of, Would Of Shouldn’t Of Shouldn't Oil Exec Bathrooms Smell Like Those In Their Gas Stations? [Johnny Carson] Shout In A Whisper Shouting Whispers Shovel-Ready - Construction Site Ready To Start Construction Show About Nothing [Seinfeld] Show & Tell At Seniors' Complex - All Tell, Nothing Left To Show Show & Tell At Shamans' Conference - All Show, No Tell Observable Show Bombed! Show Business 90
Show Me A Sane Man & I Will Cure Him For You [Carl Jung] Show Me A Thoroughly Satisfied Man & I'll Show You A Failure [Thomas Edison] Show Me The Money! [Jerry Maguire, 1996] Show Me Yours & I'll Show You Mine Show-Off Is Always Shown Up In A Showdown Show-Off Shown Up In Showdown Shpiel/Spiel, Yiddish For A Sales Pitch Full Of Puffery, Tomfoolery & Foo-Foo Dust Shredded Cheese Shredded Documents Shredded Wheat Shrink An Expansion Shrink From Shrink, He Stinks Shrinkage Is A Euphemism For Shoplifting & You’d Sure Need To Shrink A Shop To Lift It! Shrinkage Is The Retail Trade's Euphemism For Shoplifting Shrinking Divergence Of Opinion Shrouds Have No Pockets Shrub Oak, NY: 'Little Bush, Big Tree’ Is Under 50 Miles From Big Apple Shrub Of Spreading Habit Shtup, Yiddish Push/Poke, Traditional 4 Letter Activity In 5 Letters, Done With A Schmuck Shuck & Jive Shuck ‘Erlong, Niggers, Shuck Dis C’on!’ [S.C. Cromwell] Shuckin’ The Corn Cob Shucking – Chore Of Husking Corn At Corn Husking ‘Slave Work Camps’ Shucking –Husking Time Capers & Frolics, Such As ‘Fooling’ & ‘Deceiving’ [Slate] Shun Or Meidung: Expulsion From Amish Community For Breaching Religious Rules Shunned Considered Dead, God Himself Considers Such ‘Spiritually Dead’ [Jews For Judaism] Shunned, Disfellowshipped, Excommunicated Considered Dead By Their Religious Community Shunned Jesus Died Socially, Not Physically, After Crucifixion [Sir Laurence Gardner] Shunned Jesus Was ‘Reborn’ When Shunning Was Lifted By His Fellow Men [Sir Gardner] Shunned Jesus ‘Was Raised From Death By Decree On Statutory 3rd Day’ [Sir Gardner] Shunned Jesus ‘Was Released From Death By Decree On Statutory 3rd Day’ [Sir Gardner] Shunned Jesus ‘Was Resurrected From Death By Decree On Statutory 3rd Day’ [Sir Gardner] Shunned Stunned By Sudden Excommunication Shunning Has A 100% Survival Rate, Josephus Reported 1 Out Of 3 Crucifixion Survival Rate Shut-Up! Shut Up & Answer The Questions [Franklin & Bash] Shut Up & Say Something [Moe Howard] Shut Up You Hard On [Joe Dirt, 2001] Shy-Anxious Shy Blogger Shy Exhibitionist Shy Mollymawks* Shyly Pompous Shyster From German Scheisser, 'One Who Defecates' - To Wit-Less A ‘Ca-Ca-ster’ [Elementary] Shyster From 'Shy' Meaning Disreputable, Or German Scheisser Meaning 'Deceiver'? Shyster From Shylock, Shakespeare's Ruthless Moneylender [Merchant Of Venice]? 91
Shyster Nickname Of Schuster, Disreputable 1843 Philadelphia Lawyer [C.L. Karrass]? Shyster, User Of Unscrupulous & Unethical Methods Especially In Practices Of Law & Politics Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum [‘If You Want Peace, Prepare For War’] Siamese Twins, It's Hard To Date One & Then Her Sister Behind Her Back Sick & Tired Of Being Sick & Tired [Papa Roach] Sickie As Chewed Last Of Healing Rope: 'The Thong Is Ended, But The Malady Lingers On' Side Effects Of Viagra Is Headache, Every Time I Take It My Wife Gets A Headache Sierra Clubs Fracking , Sierra Club That Is! Sight For Soaring Eyes [Trans World Airways] Sight For Sore Eyes Sight Unseen Sightless May Still Have Vision Sign Of The Times Significantly Adequate Significantly Adequate Evidence For Finding That Dingo Did It [‘The Dingo Trial’] Signing Off On Something Signing Statement #1: Congressional Constitutional Confirmation? [Pres. James Monroe 1822] Signing Statements Comment On Constitutionality Of Legislation &/Or Intended Enforcement Signing Statements: Continue Constitutional Control Of ‘Unitary Executive Branch’ [Bush II] Sikhs Seek Safe & Secure Exercise Of Religious Freedom In India Silence Inside Me Quiet & Deep So Loud That My Ears Almost Bleed Anxiety [Primal Fear] Silence Is Argument Carried On By Other Means [Ernesto "Che" Guevara] Silence Is Deafening Silence Is Golden Silence Is Golden But Shouting Is Fun Silence Is Not A Problem While I Can Still Moan, Whimper & Complain Silence Is One Great Art Of Conversation Silence Is One Of The Hardest Arguments To Refute [Josh Billings] Silence Is Sometimes The Best Answer [Dali Lama] Silence Is The Most Beautiful Noise In The World [The 4th Floor] Silence Is The Voice Of Complicity Silence So Thick You Can Cut It With A Knife Silence Speaks Silent Alarm Silent Applause Silent Auction Silent Barber Silent Bartender Silent Blast Silent But Deadly Silent Butler Silent Cacophony Silent Cal [Calvin Coolidge] Silent Gratitude Isn't Much Use To Anyone [G. B. Stern] Silent Laughter Silent Majority 92
Silent Night Fireworks Silent Noise Silent Rage Silent Rave Silent Ring Silent Scream Silent Sound Silent Speech Silent Suffering Can Succumb To Moaning, Whimpering & Complaining Silent Testimony Silent Women! Silent Yell Silk Worm Racers Ended Up In A Tie Silly, Childish Game Is One One’s Wife Can Beat You At Silly Is A State Of Mind, Stupid Is A Way Of Life Silly Things: Burgundy Makes You Think, Bordeaux Talk & Champagne Do [Brillat-Savarin] Silver Dollars, Half-Dollars, Quarters & Dimes Are Now Silver-Less Silver Spoon Syndrome Silver Streaker Silverbubble Silvers 5¢ - 10¢ & $1.00 Store [Savannah, GA] Simming Simple Calculus Simple Complexity Simple Computers Simple Confusion Simple Instructions Simple Medical Procedure Simple Procedure Simple Rules Simple Simon Simple Solution Simple Solutions Seldom Are [Alfred Whitehead] Simple Technology Simple To Be Happy, But Difficult To Be Simple [Rabindranath Tagore] Simple Truth Simple Truth Is That ‘Truth Is Rarely Pure & Never Simple’ [Oscar Wilde] Simpler The Idea The More Complex The Write-Up Simplest Explanation Is More Likely The Correct One Simplest Theory Will Be Worded In The Most Complicated Way Simplex System Simplexity [Trade Name: ‘Simple Complexity’] Simplicity Is Not A Simple Thing [Charles Chaplin] Simplicity Is Not The Simplest Thing To Achieve Simplicity Is Prerequisite For Reliability [Edsger Dijkstra] Simplicity Is The Ultimate Sophistication [Leonardo Da Vinci 1452-1519] 93
Simplistic Complexity Simply Advanced Simply Amazing Simply Awesome Simply Brilliant Simply Complex Simply Complicated Simply Confused Simply Difficult Simply Fancy Simply Hard Simply Splendid Simply Stated, 'To Be Simple Is To Be Great' [Ralph Waldo Emerson] Simply Superb Simul Iustus Et Peccator -- Simultaneously Saint & Sinner [Luther’s Yin-Yang] Since Improvement In Cookery, Man Eats Twice As Much As Nature Requires [B. Franklin] Since The Lawyer Joined The Nudist Colony He Hasn't Had A Suit Since When Is Talking A Sign Of Thinking? Sincere Deceivers Sincere Deception Sincere Flattery Sincere Insincerity Sincere Liar Sincere Lie Sincere Phoney [James H. Boren] Sincerity In Any Amount Is Dangerous & In Large Amounts Is Absolutely Fatal Sincerity, Once You Can Fake It You Have It Made Sinful Blessing Sinfully Good Sing A Song Of Sing Sing Sing A Song Of Sixpence [Pirate’s Pay] Singapore Water Polo Flag Trunks With ‘Glad To See Me?’ Erect Crescent Banned Singing From The Same Hymn Sheet Single Copy Single Crowd Single Death Is A Tragedy, A Million Deaths Is A Statistic [Joseph Stalin] Single Diversity [Mike] Single Drop Raises The Sea Single Fact Can Ruin A Good Argument Single Family Single Men Live Shorter Lives, But Married Men Are Dying For It Single Mob Single Pair Single Parent Single Rabble Single Rose Can Be My Garden... Single Friend, My World [Leo Buscaglia] 94
Single Thought Single Trio Single Twin Singles Singles Bars Recall Mom's Words: ‘Don't Pick That Up, You Don't Know Where It's Been’ Singles Club Singles Group Singles Mingles Are For Tingles Singles Mixers Singular Relationship Sinner Saint Burlesque [Seattle] Sir Cumference Acquired His Great Girth From Too Much Pi Sir Cumference From Too Much Pi Was Roundest Knight At Round Table Sir John Strange - Here Lies An Honest Lawyer & That Is Strange [Tombstone] Sir Stifford Crapps [BBC's Sir Stafford Cripps] Sister Ann's Profile: 'Sister Has A One Year Old' & Condones Sterilization [Neutered Maltese] Sit In The Stands, So I Guesses You Stand On The Seats Sit Up Site-Built Home Sitting Up Situational Ethics Six Degrees Of Separation Sixty Eight Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot Sixty Four Dollar Question Sixty Four Thousand Dollar Question Award Doesn’t Buy What It Used To Sixty Is The New Forty Skag, Derogatory Term For Skagarans [Star Trek] Skag, 'Slutty & Nasty ... Massive Whore,' Maybe On Skag/Heroin [Urban Dictionary] Skating On Thin Ice Can Get You Into Hot Water Skedaddle Skeleton, A Bunch Of Human Bones With The Person Scraped Off Skid Row ‘The Skiddiest Street In Town’ [Woody Guthrie] Skidder Not A Kidder, I Ain't [Rueler] Skidding ‘Round Down On Skid Row [Woody Guthrie] Skiddly Doo Skiddy Streets Skill Is Walking A Tightrope Over Niagara Falls, Intelligence Is Not Trying Skim Milk Does Not Come From Skinny Cows [Alba Dry Milk] Skin-Care For Men Skin Flick Skinny Broad Skipping School To Bungee Jump Will Get You Suspended Skirts Will Not Be Worn! Battle Trousers Will Be Worn! That Is All! [Topless- Carry On Eng.] Skivvies Are Wear Uniformly Worn Under Civies & Uniforms As Underwear Skivvy Soiled Blokes Skivvies Doing Her Diddling Overeagerly Out Of Her Underwear Skivvy Wore Out Her Skivvies. Worn Out Where, On Skywatch Or In The Crotch? 95
Skullduggery Skullduggery, Most Brilliant & Ingenious Bamboozingly Done Sneakily & Swelly Skunk [Marijuana] Skunk Ejected When Judge Yelled 'Odor In The Court' Skunk Is Better Company Than A Person Who Prides Himself On Being Frank Skunk Springs [NM] Sky Hook Skywatchers: Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Ducky Daddles, Goosey Loosey &Turkey Lurkey Sky-Waylayer/Skyway Layer-In-Wait: Foxy Loxy Sky's Not The Limit 'When There Are Footprints On The Moon' [Brandt Paul] Slammed Door Prevent Gracious Returns Slant-Eyes Or Slants: Mongoloids, The Race Of Man With Epicanthic Folds Slash The ‘Stache Slave Master Slave Wages Sleep, An Inadequate Substitute For Caffeine Sleep Inn Early Wake-Up Calls Press 9 Sleep Like The Dead Sleep - Oh! How I Loathe Those Little Slices Of Death.... [Longfellow] Sleep - The Most Beautiful Experience In Life - Except Drink [W.C. Fields] Sleep Vigorously Sleep Well - For The Rest Of Your Life! [Prevention Magazine – Comatose?] Sleeper Hit Sleeping Like A Baby Sleepless Night Sleeping Aid Label Kindly Cautions: 'Warning May Cause Drowsiness' Sleepwalk Sleepwalking Sleeveless T-Shirt Sliced Live Fish [Fish Sore Sign] Slick Willie [Bill Clinton -Paul Greenberg, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette] Sliding Down The Fire Pole Slight Exaggeration Slight Hernia Slight-Of-Hand: Secret Manipulation Of Things Such As Cards, Coins, Minds & Expectations Slight Surprise Slight Tax Increase Costs You $200, But Substantial Tax Cut Saves You Only $0.20? Slightly Honorable [1940 Movie Title] Slightest Scientific Proof Of Personal God, Future Life Or Heaven & Hell Eludes Me [Edison] Slightly Impossible Slightly Overweight Slightly Pregnant Slightly-Used-Dental Floss Slim Chance I A Fat World Slim Chance & Fat Chance Are The Same, While Wise Men & Wise Guys Are Opposites Slim Chance Or Fat Chance He'll Slim Down, But Almost Certainly He'll Fatten Up 96
Slim Chance Prattles The Pragmatist, Fat Chance Sizzles The Satinist Slim Chance Says The Wiseman, Fat Chance Sez The Wise Guy Slim Fast Sling Confiscated In Algebra Class As A Weapon Of Math Disruption Slip Into Something Nicer, Like Unconsciousness Slippage, Euphemism For Retail Theft Slippery Rock University Graduate School of Physical Therapy - We Teach Balance! Slippery Rock University - Rock Solid Education Sloe Gin Sloop Slippery Elm Slipped Into Slippery Slip Where Sailor Absconding With Slippage Slipped Slop Hole [Bleeped On tosh.O] Slop Hole - Waste Dump Or The Mother Of Sloppy Seconds? Sloppin’ The Hog Sloppy Chic Sloppy Joe Sloppy Seconds Sorry For Such A Long Letter, But Didn't ‘Have Time To Write A Short One’ [Blaise Pascal] Slot Is A Slot Unless She’s A Slut Slouchy Perfectionist Slow & Steady Rush Slow & Steady Wins The Race [Sherlock Holmes Riding Pony 2011] Slow But Sure Slow Cattle Crossing, ‘No Overtaking For The Next 100 Yrs’ Slow Children Slow Children Signs Depict Running Child Slow Down & Slow Up Mean The Same, Slowly Sip On This, Sloe Gin In Hand Slow Down Cuz I'm In A Hurry [Jorge L Glez] Slow Jet Slow Jog Slow Motion Explosion Slow Moving Hurricane Slow-Motion Explosion Slow Race Slow Recovery Slow Run Slow Speed Slow-Motion Explosion Slow Speedster Slow To A Halt Slow Up, Slow Down Or Speed Down Before A Turn, But Speed Up Coming Out Of Turn Slumber Party Slumdog Millionaire Slurpee Summit S.L.U.T. [South Lake Union Trolley - Seattle, Washington] Slut Baby [Bleeped On tosh.O] Slut Baby - Fruit Of A Slutty Womb Or Slutty Laydy Roomee (Lady With T2o WhY’s)? 97
Small Army Small Children Don’t Let You Sleep; Big Children Don’t Let You Rest Small City Small Crowd Small Deeds Done Are Better Than Great Deeds Planned [Peter Marshall] Small Fool Small Fortune Small Giant Small Miracle Small Mammoth Small Plethora Small Space Small Things Make Base Men Proud [Shakespeare] Small Things Make Base Women Cry [Shake-Spear Blog] Small Town Small Town Is Where Everyone Knows Whose Credit Is Good & Whose Wife Isn't Small Town’s Advantage Is That If I Don't Know What I’m Doing, Someone Else Will Small Wonder Small World Smaller Half Smaller The Mind The Greater The Ego Smaller You Are, The Shorter Your Horizon Smart Ass Smart Ass Is One Who Sits On Ice Cream Cone & Knows Its Flavor Smart Asses & Wise Cracks Come In The Same Package Smart Blonde Smart Bomb Smart Card Smart Computer Smart Disco Is The Most Exclusive Disco In Town, Everyone Welcome! Smart Dork Smart Drugs Smart Dummy Smart Fool Smart Husband Buys His Wife Expensive China Dishes So She Won't Let Him Wash Them Smart Idiot Smart Is Also Knowing What You're Dumb At Smart Is Believing Only Half Of What Is Said, Brilliant Is Knowing Which Half To Believe Smart Man Smart Man Covers His Ass, Wise Man Leaves His Pants On Smart Mob Smart Phones Are Used To Do Dumb Things Smart Teachers Smart Windows User Smartass-Self-Help.Com Smartest Man On Downers 98
Smartest Man With Down Syndrome Smarty Pants Small People Are In Short Supply Smeg Head [Red Dwarf] Smile Because It Happened, Don't Cry Because It's Over Smile Is A Curve That Can Set Things Straight Smile Is Like Tight Underwear, It Makes Your Cheeks Go Up Smile! It Increases Your Face Value Smile, It Makes People Wonder What You Are Thinking Smile, It's The Second Best Thing You Can Do With Your Lips, & The First Ain't Eating! Smiles Increase Your Face Value Smiling Is An Inexpensive Way To Improve Your Looks Smith & Wesson Beats Four Aces [Canada Bill Jones] Smith & Wesson, The Original Point & Click Interface Smoke Free Campus Smoke Free Campus - Breathe Easy Smoke Free Campus - Hop The Habit Smoke Free Campus - Keep Tobacco Sacred Smoke Free Campus - Leave The Pack Behind Smoke Free Campus - Lungs At Work Smoke Free Campus - No Butt Sucking Smoke Free Campus - No Smoking Unless You're On Fire Smoke Free Campus - Proud To Be Smoke Free Smoke Free Campus - Purdue: Committed To A Healthy Planet Smoke Free Campus - We're Smokin' Hot Without Smokes Smokeless Cigarette Smokeless Tobacco Smoking Helps You Lose Weight, One Lung At A Time! Smoking Is A Dying Art Smoking Is One Of The Leading Causes Of Death In Mice Smoking Is One Of The Leading Causes Of Statistics [Fletcher Knebel/Charles Waldo Bailey] Smoking Is Punishable By Death [American Cancer Society] Smoking Kills, If You're Killed You've Lost An Important Part Of Your Life [Brooke Shields] Smoking Section In Restaurant Is Like Having A Peeing Section In A Pool Smoky Flying Squirrel Smolder, Flameless & Almost Smokeless Burning Smooth Apology Smooth Bump Smooth Capture Smooth Closing Smooth Sandpaper Smooth Tongue Hypocrite [School For Scandal] Smooth Whiskey Smore Smuggles Illegally Smurf Attack - Flooding A Computer System Via Spoofed Broadcast Ping Messages 99
Smurf Attack - Flooding Battle Field With Little Blue Fighting Fools Smurf, Smurf, Any Smurf On The Smurfs.. It Means Any Smurfing Thing? Smurfing Smurfing The Web Smurfs Are Smurftastic [Newsday] Smurfs, Originally Schtroumpfs In Belgian, Smurfily Smurfized Their Smurf enclature SNAFI [Situation Normal All Fouled Up] Snail Express Snail Mail Snail Mail Gone Postal Snails Are Not Only Slow Slitherers But Also Slow Sleepers, Up To 3 Years At A Time Snake Charmers, If They Weren’t Charming They Would Lead Uncharmed Lives Snake Dance, Ceremonial Dances Of Hopi & Hindu, Of American & Asian Indians Snake Dance, Procession Of People Joining Hands & Zigzagging About Snake Dance, Swaying Motions Of Cobras Being Charmed By Snake Charmers Snake Eyes Snake Eyes Belonging To Eve's Evil Inducer Beguiled Her Snake Eyes, Crap! Those Unlucky Eyes Above A Cobra's Fangs [If You're Not The Cobra] Snake Eyes, Craps! Those Lucky Eyes [At Least If Rolled In Games Of Craps/Dice] Snake In The Grass Snake’s Feet Snake Up Your Arse Snaked My Ass You Did With Your Mischievousness, Trickery & Skullduggery Snaked She's Well Gettin Next Time When She Iz Not On The Rag [Glasgow Banter] Snaked The Line, The Old Chow Line Hustle Snap! Crackle! Pop! Snatch - English Film About A Diamond Heist In London's Gangland [2000] Snatch - Serpent Socket, Spasm Chasm, Spunk-Pot, Sugar Basin Or Sweet Briar Snatch - To Boost, Jack Or Steal Snatch - Weightlifter Moving Weight From Floor To Over-Head Position In One Movement Sneeze Travels Atchoo! - Better Duck! Sneezes 1 To 4: Gesundheit!, Lang Leb'n!, God Bless You!, God Damn It You’ve Got A Cold! Snert, Dutch Pea Soup ‘So Thick You Could Shake Its Hand & Stroll With It Before Dinner’ Snicker For Snickers® Snitcher Snatched By Snarling Snatch Snitches Get Stitches [Daily Show] Snipe Hunt Snitches Wind Up In Ditches Snooks, Florida Coastees, Called Common, Who Put Up A Good Fight & Make Fine Eating Snorers Fall Asleep First Snow Angel Snow Doesn't Give A Soft White Damn Whom It Touches [E.E. Cummings] Snow Paint Snow-White Tan Snowback Or Frostback Is A Canadian Working Illegally In The U.S. Or Wintering In The U.S. Snowflakes Are Most Fragile, But See What Happens When They Stick Together [Vesta Kelly] 100
Snowmen Fall From Heaven Unassembled Snowquester Snowquester, Snarly Snowstorm Smothering Capital At Time Of Sequester [Colbert Report] Snowquester, What Previously May Have Been Called A Snowgate Snowquesters, Snow Jobs Both Parties Are Doing On Public About Sequester Snowstorm Hotspot, Allston Street For Boston Area Sledding [Nemo] Snug As A Bug In A Rug So - A Needle Pulling Thread So Beautifully Arranged On Plate - Someone's Fingers Have Been All Over It [Julia Child] So Close No Matter How Far [Metallica] So Close, So Close & Yet So Far [My Eyes Adored You - Frankie Valli] So Close, Yet So Far Away [So Close - Hall & Oates] So Creamy It's Almost Fattening [Burma Shave] So Crocked He Screws His Socks On Each Morning So! Do Ya Feel Lucky Punk? [Dirty Harry] So Help Me I’ll Rape You So I Say, 'Live & Let Live,' If They Can't Go Along Take 'Em Out & Shoot 'Em [Geo. Carlin] So Long Barge, Frankfort, Germany - Very Long, Too Long Or Bye Bye? So Long Since I Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom [Joan Rivers] So Many Books, So Little Time [Frank Zappa] So Rape Me I’ll Help You So Say We All! [Battlestar Galactica] So Simple To Be Wise, Just Think Of Something Stupid To Say & Then Don't Say It So The Last Will Be First, & The First Will Be Last [Matthew 20:16] So The Last Will Be First, & The First Will Be Seated At The Preview So Ugly She's Cute So Unimpressed But So In Awe, Such A Saint, But Such A Whore [Robbie Williams] *So Self Aware, So Full Of Shit. So Indecisive So Adamant [Robbie Williams, Come Undone] So You Want To SCORE® At Business? - A Legal Checklist [Barry J. Lipson] So You're A Feminist -- Isn't That Cute! So What Annoys You? 'Like Blaming Everything On, Like, PMS'[Tavi Gevinson NPR] So What If You Can't Spell Armageddon, It's Not The End Of The World Soap Opera Soap Operas & The News Wastes Most Of Its Time Telling Us What's Coming Next Soapstone Soaring Down Sob [Li’l Abner] Sober Alcoholic Sober Drunk Sobersided & Sententious Social Hermit Social Innovations Tend To The Level Of Minimum Tolerable ‘Well Being’ Social Legislation Cannot Repeal Physical Laws Social Networking Social Outcast Social Science 101
Social Security Social Security 'Is A Monstrous Lie. It Is A Ponzi Scheme' [Rick Perry] Social Services Social Work Socialist Market Economy Socialist Utopia Socialist Worker Society Is A Mule, Not A Car, If Pressed Too Hard It Will Kick & Throw Off Its Rider Sociophobia - Fear Of Sociopaths, Socialites & Others, Socially & Separately Sodomizers Are Santorumized! Sodomy Convictionless, To ½ UK Jurors Doing It’s Impossible & '½ Are Doing It' [Churchill] Sofa King Low Slogan Banned In UK - So Fa King Why? Sofa King Low Slogan Banned In UK - What About Pho King Viet Restaurants? [See End] Soft Answer Turneth Away Wrath Soft Answer Turneth Away Wrath; But Grievous Words Stir Up Anger [Proverbs 15:1] Soft Bomb Soft Porn Soft Rock Soft Thunder Softball Softly Softly Softly Softly Catchee Monkee Softly Softly, Catchee Monkey Softness Overcomes Hardness [Zuo Qiuming Circa 500 BC] Software Documentation Software Engineer Software Is Like Sex, It's Better When It's Free [Linus Torvalds] Software Is Parts Of System That You Can Only Curse At Software Manual Sogay Peruvian Bottled Water Sol, Our Sun Solar System Solar System Of Celestial Bodies Solar System Of Solar Power Panels Solar System Of Sunny Pappa Sol & His Sons Soldier Deserted His Dessert In The Desert To Defeat Desert Denizens Soldier Who Survived Mustard Gas & Pepper Spray Is Now A Seasoned Veteran Soldiers Like Eggs Are Broken & Beaten Before Being Stiffened In The Heat Of Fire Solid Break Solid Glass Solid Gold Plated Solid Hole Solid Line Solid Liquid Solid Rumor Solid Water 102
Solitary Confinement Solitary Confinement Is Shared By Worst Inmates Solitary Group Solitude, Good Place To Visit But A Poor Place To Stay [Josh Billings] Solo Concert Solo Ensemble Solution Of Potassium Cyanide Is Solution To Everlasting Life Solution There Is To Every Problem, The Only Difficulty Is Finding It Solution To A Problem Changes The Problem Solutionless Problem May Be ‘Fact-Not To Be Solved, But To Be Coped With’ [S. Peres] Solutions Are Fluid Solutions Are Fluid & Fluids Are Solutions Solutions Are Not The Answer [Richard Nixon] Solutions Leak Through Probability Solutions May Be Wrong, Right, Both Or Neither Solutions Mostly Are Partly Right & Partly Wrong Solutions Sought For Problematic Skin, Absorbable &/Or Awardable Solutions Sought For Problems [IronHerder Header] Solutions Sought For Problems, Problems Sought For Solutions Solved Mystery Some Assembly Required Some Bachelors Want A Meaningful Overnight Relationship Some Big Truths Started As Little Gossips Some Bring Happiness Wherever They Go; Others Whenever They Go Some Cause Happiness Wherever They Go, Others, Whenever They Go [Oscar Wilde] Some Days You're The Bug, Some Days You're The Windshield Some Days You're The Dog, Some Days You're The Hydrant Some Days You're The Pigeon & Some Days You're The Statue Some Do Jenny Craig, Some Do Richard Simmons, I Do Sara Lee Some Do, Some Don't; Some Will, Some Won't; Some Might, Some Mightn't - I Bunt! Some Drink At The Fountain Of Knowledge, Others Just Gargle Some Drink At The Fountain Of Knowledge, Some Pee In It Some Drink At The Fountain Of Knowledge, Some Pour Tea In It Some Exercise Programs Include Periods Of 'Active Rest' Some Folks Talk About Killing Time While Time Is Quietly Killing Them Some Girls Don't Just Choose A Boyfriend, They Pick Him.....To Pieces Some Girls Get Minks The Same Way Minks Get Minks Some Go By The Book Without Knowing Who Wrote It Or Even What Book Some Light Up A Room By Leaving It, You By Entering It! Some Minds Are Like Concrete, Thoroughly Mixed Up & Permanently Set Some Mistakes Are Too Much Fun To Only Make Once! Some More Some Mornings I Wake Up Grouchy, Others I Let Her Sleep Some New Beginnings Come From The End Of Another’s New Beginnings Some Of It Plus The Rest Of It Is All Of It [Baldy's Law] Some Of Our Best Men Are Women [United States Army] 103
Some Of This Stuff Has Been Here Forever & Some Longer Some Of Us Are Becoming The Men We Wanted To Marry [Gloria Steinem] Some One Some Painters Transform Sun Into Yellow Spot, Others A Yellow Spot Into Sun [Picasso] Some People Are About As Helpful As A Porcupine In A Balloon Factory [Donna Early] Some People Are In Debt Because They Spend What Their Friends Think They Make Some People Are Only Alive Because It Is Illegal To Shoot Them Some People Are Wise, & Some Are Otherwise Some People Feel The Rain, Other Just Get Wet [Bob Marley] Some People Get Lost In Thought Because It's Such Unfamiliar Territory Some People Get Married Only For The Matri-Money Some People Just Never Learn Some People Kiss With Their Eyes Closed & Marry The Same Way Some People Say That I’m Superficial, But That's Just On The Surface Some People See Things As They Are & Ask, Why? Some People See Things As They Could Be & Ask, Why Not! Some People Take Too Much Of Vitamin 'I' Some People Wish To Get What They Deserve, While Others Fear They Will Some People Without Brains Do An Awful Lot Of Talking [Wizard Of Oz] Some Pursue Happiness -- Others Create It Some See Things That Are & Say Why? I Dream Things That Aren’t & Say Why Not? [RFK] Some Sex Is Good - More Is Better - Too Much Is Just About Right Some Things I Think I Think [Phil Musick] Some Things In Life Are Not For Sale... Unless For The Right Price [ N. Haddad] Some Things That Cost $5 To Buy A Few Years Ago Now Costs $20 Just To Repair Some Women Are Terribly Hard To Please...The Rest Are Impossible! Some Women Get All Excited About Nothing & Then Marry Him Some Women Think They Have Three Boobs, Their Man & Two Others Some Women Think They Have Three Boobs, Their Man & Two Udders Somebody Set Up Us The Bomb Or Someone Set Us Up The Bomb? [Empire Earth Game] Someday Is Not A Day Of The Week Someday We'll Look Back On All This & Change The Subject Someday We'll Look Back On All This & Plow Into A Parked Car Someday You’ll Get Your Big Chance - Or Have You Already Flubbed It? Someone Someone Has To Die So The Rest Of Us Should Value Life More [The Hours, 2003] Someone In Denial Is In Egypt Up To Their Ankles Someone Is Occupewing My Pie [Occupying My Pew] Someone Is On The Way To Interview For Your Perfect Job - Get There First! Someone Is On The Way To Interview For Your Perfect Job - Work Harder! Someone Once Said Someone Who Thinks Logically Is A Nice Contrast To The Real World Someone With Attention Deficit Disorder Edited This Film! [MST3K] Something Magical Always Happens [Vince Mendoza] Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say [Headline] Something's Fishy In Nation’s Streams, ‘Fish Have Unsafe Mercury Levels’ [NY Daily News] 104
Something's Not Necessarily True Because A Man Dies For It [Oscar Wilde] Something's Wrong If You're Always Right Something's Wrong With You If There's Nothing Wrong With You Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar, 'Sometimes A Pipe Is Just A Pipe' [Sigmund Freud] Sometimes A Majority Only Means That All The Fools Are On The Same Side Sometimes Even To Live Is An Act Of Courage [Seneca] Sometimes I Get The Feeling That The Whole World Is Against Me [Robert Orben] Sometimes I Get The Feeling Whole World Is Against Me, Well, At Least The Female Parts!!! Sometimes I Need What Only You Can Provide, Your Absence [Ashleigh Brilliant] Sometimes I Think Progress Progresses Too Fast! [Dr. Seuss] Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy, Other Times I Let Her Sleep [Bumper Sticker] Sometimes In The Winds Of Change We Find Our True Direction Sometimes It's To Your Advantage For People To Think You're Crazy [Thelonious Monk] Sometimes Laughter Is The Only Weapon We Have [Roger Rabbit] Sometimes, Silence Is The Most Important Thing We Can Hear Sometimes The Best Helping Hand You Can Give Is A Good, Firm Push Sometimes The Questions Are Complicated & The Answers Are Simple [Dr. Seuss] Sometimes The Silence Can Be Like The Thunder [Bob Dylan] Sometimes The Things I Love Are The Things I Hate Sometimes To Move Forward One Might Need To Take A Step Back [Hitesh] Sometimes Waiting Is The Right Thing To Do Somewhat Awesome Somewhat Destroyed Somewhat Functional Somewhat Legal Somewhat Unique Somewhere, Something Incredible Is Waiting To Be Known [Carl Sagan] Somewhere There’s A Chile You Can’t Eat! [Daniel Pinkwater] Somniphobia - Insomniacs & Sleep Avoiders Fear Of Counting Sheep & Sleep Song Brought Joy To ‘Every Murderer, Rapist & Sex Maniac In Sing Sing!’ [The Producers] Songstress Became Seamstress When She Couldn't Find The Key Of G Songstress Became Seamstress When She Found The Key To The Sewing Room Sonny Ray Burns 2 - Anderson, IN Police Report 2nd Sonny Ray Cafe Shooting In 2 Weeks Sonny's BBQ Plus Bono BBQ = Sonny Bono [BBQ Chains In Florida], Cher Joy! Sooner & In More Detail You Announce Bad News, The Better [Chappaquiddick] Sooner You Fall Behind, More Time You'll Have To Catch Up [Steven Wright] Soothing Light At The End Of Tunnel Is Just A Freight Train Coming Your Way [Metallica] SOP: An Organization’s Standard Operating Procedure SOP Was A Sop To Mollify & Placate Workers Sophisticated New Yorker Sopho More [‘Wise Fool’] Sophomore [‘Wise Fool’] Sorry Gift Sorry, I Don't Date Outside My Species [Bumper Sticker] Sorry, I’m A Little Busy, Can I Ignore You Later? Sorry Mr. Kipling, But You Don't Know How To Use The English Language [ S.F. Examiner] 105
SOS, Army's Comfort Food: Shit On Shingles, Stew On Shingles Or Same Old Stuff SOS, Army's Favorite Meal ‘In The Field, Creamed Chipped Beef On Toast’ [Stephen Ambrose] SOS Food Labs, Inc., Manufacturer Of Emergency Survival Food & Water Rations SOS, Save Our Ship, Save Our Souls, Send Out Succour ‘Are Simply Not Valid’ Explanations SOS, Ships In Distress Shall Use The Following Signal: ...---... [1906 Berlin Conference] SOS Soap Pads SOS Soap Pads , S.O.S® Stands For ‘Save Our Saucepans’ [Inventor Ed Cox's Wife] SOS Soap Pads Verse Brillo® Soap Pads, Which Lasts Longer? Soul Food Is Much More About Heritage Than It Is About Hominy [Sarah Ban Breathnach] Soul Food Various Soul Mate Soul Mate Is A Single Soul Dwelling In Two Bodies Sound Asleep Sound-Filled Silence Sound Mind In Sound Body Renowned Sounding Board For Astounding Sounds Sound Of Musick [Phil Musick] Sound Of Silence Sound Opinions Rock Music Radio Talk Show Sound Opinions Should Be Ably & Thoroughly Defended Sound Sculpture Sound Solutions Needed For Acoustical Problems Sound Solutions Needed For Critical Issues Facing The Nation Soundless Scream Sounds Like 'Uncommon Nonsense'[Alice - Mock Turtle] Sounds Of Silence Sounds Of The Sounds Of Science [Yo La Tengo] Soundstage, Soundproof Studio Used For The Shooting Of Movies & Cinematic Films Soundstage, WTTW-TV Series With Such Luminaries As Bob Dylan & Aretha Franklin Soup & Fish Explain Half The Emotions Of Life [Sydney Smith] Soup Nazi [Seinfeld] Soup Opera Soup, The ‘Agent Provocateur Of A Good Dinner’ [Carême] Souper Bowl – Tastee! Sour Candy Sour Cream Sour Grapes Sour Grapes, Disparagement Of The Unattainable [Aesop’s Foxy Tale] Sour Grapes, Tell Me What You Need & I'll Tell You Why You Don't! Sour Grapes, The Sourest Are The Green Ones Sour Sweets Sourness & Bitterness Come From The Interfering & Unappreciative Mind [Benjamin Hoff] Southern Comfort Southern Justice Southern ‘X- Possure’ Gentlemen's Club [Salt Lake City] Southward Ho! But The Old South, New South, Upper South, Lower South Or Deep South? Soviet Economy 106
Soviet Union Sow Your Wild Oats On Saturday Night, Then On Sunday Pray For Crop Failure Sows Ear To Silk Purse Soy Free Tempeh Space Cowboy Space Is A Dangerous Place, Especially If It's Between Your Ears Space Is Not Expanding Because Space Needs Space To Expand Space Is Still A High Priority For NASA Space Spinoffs – ‘Greatest Gain ... Extension Of Our Knowledge’ [Werner Von Braun]: *Cellular Phones, Digital Watches, Ear Thermometers, Kevlar Vests, Cable TV, Mylar, Etc. *GPS Navigation Systems, Personal Computers, Halogen Lights, Pocket Calculators, Etc., Etc. *Laser Scanners, Laser Guided Missiles, Electronic Auto Ignition, Fiber Optics, Etc., Etc., Etc. Space Spinoffs NOT: Quartz Clock [1927], Teflon [1938], Velcro [1940s], Microwave [1947] *Also NOT’s: Tang [1957], Cordless Power Tool [1961], Barcode, MRI & Smoke Detector Space Walk Spaces Between Your Fingers Were Created So That Another's Could Fill Them In Spaceship Came With 'No Instruction Book' [R. Buckminster Fuller] Spaceship Earth Is Whisking Us Through Space With 'No Skippers' [Wernher Von Braun] Spacy Speeder Spacy Walker Spaghetti Factory Had To Pasta Inspection Before It Could Open SPAM®: Acronym For ‘SPiced HAM’, ‘Shoulder Of Pork & HAM’ Or ‘Spiced Pork & HAM’ SPAM® & Sausage Jambalaya – Hormel’s Latest ‘Creole’ Nobel ‘Piece’ Prize Entry SPAM: Annoying, Deceptive Or Felonious E-Communications, Texts, Messages & E-Mails SPAM Has Gone Viral Spreading Viruses, Anger, Deception & Sandwiches SPAM: Mystery Meat & Message SPAM: Originally ‘Hormel Spiced Ham’ [SPAM Won 1930's Re-Naming Contest] SPAM: ‘Scientifically Produced Animal Matter’ Related To The Velveeta [Ask Dr. Science] *SPAM: ‘Closest Living Relative Was The Velveeta, A Kind Of Synthetic Jellyfish’ SPAM: ‘Spam, Spam, Spam’- Ad Infinitum, In Increasing Crescendo [From Monty Python] SPAM Spamming Names: ‘Some Parts Are Meat’, ‘Synthetically Produced Artificial Meat’ SPAM Spamming Names: ‘Someone's Pigs Are Missing’, ‘Stuff Posing As Meat' SPAM Spamming Names: ‘SPare HAM’, Specially Processed American/Army Meat’ SPAM Spanned The Mammal/Fowl Divide & Now Gives Us Turkey SPAM SPAM: We Hate Spam & We'll Never Spam You Or Force You To Eat It! SPAM’s On The Lamb! Oops! Sorry! It’s Ham & I Can’t Spell Worth A Damn [Lam/Dam?]!!! Spaniard Dies After Fall From Ferry To Britain [Reuters] Spanish Government Employees Are Seville Servants Spankin’ The Crank Spankme Building, The [San Mateo, California] Spare No Expense To Save Money On This One [Samuel Goldwyn] Spare Rib Spare Rib Mate Spare Ribs Chinese-Style Spare The Rod & Spoil The Child Spare The Rod & Spoil The Child – Now Politically Incorrect 107
Spare The Rod & There'll Be No Child Spark Of Genius & Non-Obvious, Obviously Is Either Patently Correct? Spark Of Genius & Non-Obvious Patentability Tests, Any Obvious Or Non-Obvious Difference? Speak As You Find Speak Easy Speak Easy & Shoot Straight Speak Easy &Softly Speak Easy, Pour Him The Lubrication Speak Easy, Prohibition You Know Speak Easy Speech Is Prohibited During Prohibition Speak In Tongues Speak In Tongues, Sweet & Sour Speak Not Of My Debts Unless You Mean To Pay Them Speak Softly & Carry A Big Stick, You Will Go Far [Theodore Roosevelt] Speak Softly & If You Really Want To Be Heard, Lower Your Voice [Terri Levine] Speak Softly & Own A Big, Mean Doberman Speak Softly & Wear A Loud Shirt Speak To Me Of Love Without A Word Speak When Angry & You'll Make The Best Speech You'll Ever Regret [L. J. Peter] Speak When You Are Spoken To, Don't Pretend You're Right [Yes - Hold On] Speak When You Are Spoken To, otherwise TEXT! Speak When You're Spoken To! The Queen Sharply Interrupted Her [Lewis Carroll] Speak When You're Spoken To, But If Everybody Obeyed That Rule Nobody Would Speak Speak Without A Word Speakeasy Carded Patrons Speakeasy Excluded Minors Not Miners Or Minor Leaguers Speaking Of The Law, What Does It Say? Speaking Your Mind Isn’t The Same Thing As Using It Special Olympics Special Rights Specialist Learns More & More About Less & Less Until Everything is Know About Nothing Specialize In Everything Specialize In Generalities Specifically Vague Spectacular Failure Spectacular Spectacle Spectacular Spectacles Spectator Sport Spectrophobia - Fear Of Phantoms, Ghosts, Ghost Whisperers & Being Human Speech Is Difficult, But Silence Is Impossible [Reden Iz Shver Un Shveigen Ken Men Nit] Speech Is Good, Silence Is Even Better [Redn Iz Gut, Shveign Nokh Besser] Speech Is Like A Bicycle Wheel, The Longer The Spoke, The Greater The Tire Speech Is Silver, Silence Is Golden [Reden Iz Zilber, Shveigen Iz Gold] Speech Writing Speed Bump Speed Bumps, Hump ‘Em! 108
Speed Limit Speed Of Anything Depends On The Flow Of Everything Speed Of Light Speed Of Light Is Known; So What Is The Speed Of Dark? Speed Of Necessity Speed Of Necessity Seemed Like Speed Of Light As Ass Covering Bill Flew Thru Congress Speedy [Bush II For Attorney General Alberto Gonzales] Speedy Turtle Spell Checker 'Plainly Marks Four My Revue Mistakes I Cannot Sea' [Pennye Harper] Spelling Is A Lost Art Exacerbated By Spell Check Spend Some Time Alone Every Day [Dali Lama] Spendthrift Sperm Bank Sperm Donor Sperm Incubator Sperm Recipient Sperm Sample From Nobel Prize Winner Is 'Stroke Of Genius' Sphinx Of The Potomac [Calvin Coolidge] Spic ('No Spik English') Or Spigotty ('No Speak-O T'e English') [U.S. Hispanic & U.K. Italian] Spilling Hydro Spilling Hydro? Grid & Bear It? Spilling Your Guts Out Is Just As Charming As It Sounds Spilt Milk Spilt Milk Crying - Regret In Vain What Cannot Be Rectified Or Undone Spilt Milk Crying - Regret In Vain What Cannot Be Rectified, Perhaps To Vein Cutting Point Spin An Oriental Three Times In A Circle & He’ll Become Disoriented Spin As In ‘Scotland Against Spin’, An Alliance Against Scottish Wind Farms Spin Doctor Spinach Is The Broom Of The Stomach [French Proverb] Spinach, My Super Starter [Popeye] Spinmeister Spinning Earth Is A Dizzying Sight Spinster, A Spin Doctor - A Spinner Of The News Spinster, A Twister Of Fibers Into Threads Spinster, Aging Unmarried Female Who May Spin An Erotic Past, But Has Spun Her Life Away Spirit Can't Endure Overfed Body, But Underfed Body Can't Endure The Spirit [St. Frances] Spiritual Materialism Spit Out ‘The Hot Air & Be Careful What You Swallow’ [Dr. Seuss] Spiteful To Put A Jellyfish In A Trifle Spitfire Splenda® Food Store Packet: Life, Liberty& The Pursuit Of Sweetness Splenda® Food Store Packet: Shop On A Full Stomach - Fill Your Cart With Better Choices! Splenda® Lacks Splendor Of Being A ‘No Calorie Sweetener’ If It Has 4 Calories Like Equal® Splendid Couple - Slept With Both Of Them [Maurice Bowra] Splendid Expression Is 'No Comment,' I Use It Again & Again [Winston Churchill] Splendid Failure [William Faulkner] Splendid Misery [Thomas Jefferson On Vice-Presidency] 109
Splendidly Dull Spoiled Goods Spoken Thought Sponge Bob, Square Burka Sponge Bob, Square Pants Spontaneity Is Good As Long As It Is Controlled Spontaneous Demonstration Spontaneous Demonstration, Held Weekly [George Orwell] Spoof Spoofed The Spooks Into Seeing Spooks Spoof The Figures Spoofing - Forging Internet Protocol (IP) Packet Addresses To Conceal Identity Spoofing Person Or Program By Masquerading As Another To Gain Illegitimate Advantage Spoofing The Figures To Win The Election, But Was He Tampering With Or Parodying Them? Spooks Spoofed The Spies Into Being Spooked By Signs Of Spooks Sporting Goods Sporting Good Sports Are Good Sports, Bad Sports, Play Sports & Sport Around Sports People Can Avoid The Pain Of Defeat By Wearing Comfortable Shoes Sports Sport New Sportswear, Speak In Sport & May Be Biological Sports Sports Scholarship Sports Sedan Spouse Awarded 10,000 Euros For "21-Year-Long Lack Of Sex' [French Civil Code Art. 215] Spouse Will Stand By You Through All Troubles You Wouldn't Have Had If You Were Single Spread Company Spread Too Thin Allowed No Margarine For Error Spring Break Spring Break: Amish Rumspringa, Short Version, For English College Students Spring Break Attracted Rutting ‘Eds’ & Co-Eds Alike Spring Break, Best Place To Star In ‘Girls Gone Wild’ Spring Break, Required Mainspring Repair Spring Forward [To Daylight Savings Time] Spring Has Sprung Spring Rut, ‘The Battle of the Stags' Takes Place In the Fall/Winter [Oil, Gustave Courbet 1861] Spring Training In Mainspring Usage Starts The Day Of The Vernal/Spring Equinox Springa Break - Amish Spring Break Springtime For Hitler? – Remarkable Piece Drenched With Historical Goodies [Producers] Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be--Dad: Fathered Most Children! *Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be-Mom: Let's Do It By Hair *Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be-Dad: Body Hair? *Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be-Sis: Dental Work *Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be-Dad: Least Cartilage In Left Knee *Sprint Data Share Guides Should Be-Son: Silent, Looking Disgusted! Spuneral Of Dr Fooner [Eulogy To Spoonerism Dad William Archibald Spooner-1844–1930] Spunk Is Nature's Way Of Letting You Know How Sloppy Reproduction Is Spunk Is Nature's Way Of Letting You Know You're Getting Sloppy Seconds Spunky Skunk Spews Stench Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim [Headline - Hold 'Em Down] Square & Compass 110
Square Beads Square Deal: Control Of Corporations, Consumer Protection & Natural Resource Conservance Square Deal: Republican Program To Use ‘Government Action To Mitigate Social Evils’ Square Deal: Teddy Roosevelt’s Attack On Plutocracy & Bad Trusts Thru Government Action Square-Deals & Being Well-Rounded Are Sought After [Teddy Roosevelt] Square Disk Square Hole Square Meals, Not Adventurous Ones, Are What You Should Seek [Bryan Miller] Square Peg Square Ring [Boxing] Square: Uncool, Unhip, Clueless, Rigid In Thinking, A Herbert Square Wheels Squared Circle [Wrestling] Squashed Squash: I Stirred It Up & Squashed The Squash [Krista's Kitchen] Squaw, In East Coast Algonquian Massachuset Amerind Tribe, Young Woman [Ussqua] Squaw Man Squaw, Now Generic For Female Native American Squeaking Wheel Doesn't Always Get Grease, It May Get Replaced [Vic Gold] Squeaky Hinge Gets The Oil Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease [US] Squeaky Wheel Gets The Oil [UK] Squealer Squeeze &Squish Squeeze Box Squeeze Play Squid [Sailor, especially A Seal - Bones] Squid Not Squint [Bones] Squint [Scientist-Bones] Squirrelly Fact: Man’s Earliest Primate Ancestor Was A Tiny Squirrel St. Augustine’s 600 Year Old Live Oak Called Old Senator As It's Shaky, Shady & Crooked Stabbing Doesn't Spoil Friendship [AP] Stable Economic Policies Stable Economy Stable Market Stable Progression Staff Of Life Is Distaff Staged Accident Stagflation Stagnant Growth Stainless Steel Cleaner Stairway To Hades Stairway To Heaven Stairway To Hell Stairway To Stareway To Women’s Dorms (Close Blinds When Finished) Stairway To The Stars Stairway To The Underworld 111
Stake Your Claim Stalin's Burial Involved A Communist Plot Stalked Stalked Puffball-In-Aspic In Aspen Unsuccessfully, Reported Myopic Mycologist Stand Down Stand Fast Standard & Poor Downgraded By US For Standard’s Poor Math Two Trillion Dollar Error Standard Deviation Standard Option Standards, There Are So Many Of Them To Choose From [Andrew S. Tanenbaum] Standby Understudy Stanley Steamer, Resident Dragon, On Guard Between Our Mundania & Piers Anthony's Xanth Star-Spangled Banner Waived High Over Fly-Speckled Bananas [Spanish-American War] Star Sprinting Leopard Failed At Diving For 'A Leopard Can't Change His Sports’ Starbuck, First Mate Of The Pequod In Moby Dick [Chapter 26] Starbuck, Michael Majalahti, Canadian-Finnish Professional Wrestler, Singer & Artist Starbuck, Rock Band Formed In 1974 In Atlanta, Georgia Starbuck: b Taurus, The Bull Zodiac Constellation In Winter Sky [April 20 - May 20] Starbucks Back! [See Sandwich Board At End] Starbucks Back, ‘Where The Starbucks Used To Be’ [John Wesley Harding] Starbucks, Family Of Whalers & Discoverers Of Pacific Ocean Islands Starbucks Is Where I Used To Work, But I Got Tired Of The Daily Grind Stardom Can Be A Gilded Slavery [Helen Hayes] Stark Staring Mad Stars When Out Are Visible, But The Lights When Out Are Invisible Stark Naked Stars Are The Street Lights Of Eternity Started Out With Nothing & Still Have Most Of It Left Starting To Stop Startle Factor STASI, East German Secret Police, Labeled Joachim Gauck 'Incorrigible Anti-Communist' STASI Hunter Joachim Gauck Beats NAZI Hunter Beate Klarsfeld For German Presidency [‘12] State Development State Of Emergency State Of The City: Snowed Under [Nemo] State Of The Union State Of The Union: Snowed Under [Congress] State Worker Stateless Material Statement Following Is True - Statement Prior Is False Statement May Be True Independently Of Illogical Reasoning Statement Of Fact Cannot Be Insolent [Orac From Blake's 7] Statement To Right Is True, The Statement To Left Is False Statements That May Be Taken Sexually, Should Be! Static Variable Station Of The Nation [Radio Caroline] 112
Stationary Bike Stationary Orbit Statistical Humor Statistical Methods Given Enough Data Can Prove Anything Statistically People Exaggerate 178% Of The Time & 178% Of All People Exaggerate Statistically People Who Have The Most Birthdays Live The Longest [Larry Lorenzoni] Statistician Use Statistics As Drunk Uses Lamp-Post For Support Not Illumination Statistics Are Of Two Types, Those You Look Up & Those You Make Up Statistics, Highly Logical & Precise Method For Saying A Half-Truth Inaccurately Statistics Like Bikinis Reveal What Is Suggestive, But Conceal What Is Vital Statistics Show People Who Have The Most Birthdays Live The Longest [Rev. Lorenzoni] Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 [Headline] Statistics Show That All Who Contract The Habit Of Eating Die! – Same With Breathing! Statuary Rape Statue Of Liberty Is 'Demonic Idol' [Rev. John Benefiel] Status Is Statusless Statusless Statusless, Is Itself A Status Statute Of Limitations Statutory Person Statutory Person, Fictitious Entity Who Can Spend Limitless Real Funds On Political Issues Statutory Rape Statutory Rape, Criminalization Of Consensual Cohabitation Statutory Rape, Sex With A Frigid Female Statutory Rape’s Statute Of Limitations Occurs Upon Majority Of Potential Participants Stay Alert, You Can See A Lot By Watching Stay In With The Outs Stay Out With The Ins Stay Put, I Want To Forget You Exactly As You Are! Stayed Up All Night To See Where The Sun Went, Then It Dawned On Me Staying Awake To Chase A Dream [Muse, 'Falling Away With You'] S.T.D. Central Flea Market [Springfield, Missouri] STD [Sexually Transmitted Disease] STD Is STD [Sexually Transmitted Disease Is Standard] Steady Vibration Steak Done Well Is Never Well Done Steak Your Clam - Steak Stuffed With Bivalves Steaks On Top Shelf Are Too High Steal This Book [Abbie Hoffman, Rebel & Author Of 'This Book'] Steal Wool Stealin' Stones & Breakin' Bones [Snatch 2000] Stealing Ideas From One Person Is Plagiarism, From Many Is Research Stealing One’s Thunder Steals & Deals - North Carolina Advertising Weekly Steals Clock, Faces Time [Headline] Stealth Bomber 113
Stealth Condom - They'll Never See You Coming Steam Grilled Steel Wool Steer Begets Not! That’s Ox Not Bull, Steer & Ox Being The Eunuchs Of Bovines! Steer Brings $20,000 At Hotel Breeding Stock Sale! [Spokesman-Review] Duh! Steer Brings $20,000 At Hotel Breeding Stock Sale For His Own Cow, Not Cowardly He! Steer Clear Step Brother Stepped On By Step Brother Step Ladder Must Be Returned Today Or Further Steps Will Be Taken Sterility Is Not Hereditary Sterilized Needles Used For Lethal Injections Steroid-Free-Olympics Steroids Keep Your Carpets Still On The Stairs Stick Mr. Happy In Somebody's Do-Hah Without A Raincoat & Babies Come Out [True Blood] Stick Stick In Styx Sticking Point Sticking Pointer Stick-In-The-Mud Sticks & Stone Sticks & Stones Can Break My Bones, But Words Can Never Hurt Me Sticks &Stones Can Break My Bones, But Words Can Shatter My Soul Sticktight Flea Stickup Artist Sticky End Sticky Satan Sticky Satin Sticky Wicket Stickybeak Stiff? Bury It Deep, Gravedigger! Stiff? Bury It Deeper, Stud! Stiff Opposition Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan Stigma Is A Handicap [IronHerder Header] Stigma Phi Alpha Is A Handicapped Friendly Fraternity Still Life Still Moving Still Shaking Still Waters Don't Run & Running Waters Are Not Still, Deep Or Not! Still Waters Run Deep Still Waters Run Deep & Babbling Brooks Are Very Shallow Still Waters Run Deep – Just Watch Out For Moccasins Still Waters Run Deep & Running Waters May Still Be Deep Stillwaters Are Still Running Around Deep In The Still Water Still Wind Stimulating Political Conversation Stink Bug 114
Stinking Shrink Sinks Stinky Rose Stinky, Stanky Rose Stinky, Stanky Rose, Running In Her Hose… Stitch In Time Saves Nine Stock Clerk With Goal Will Go Far, Man With No Goals Will Stay Stock Clerk [J. C. Penney] Stock, ‘If It Don't Go Up, Don't Buy It’ [Will Rogers] Stock Market Always Does What You Think It Will, But Rarely When Stock Market Axiom: ‘The Public Is Always Wrong' Stock Modified Stock Market Experts: Those Who Don't Know & Those Who Don't Know They Don't Know Stockbroker Mantra: ‘Market Will Rally From This Or Lower Levels' Stocks Reached What Looks Like Permanently High Plateau [Prof. Irv Fisher Pre-1929 Crash] Stolen Painting Found By Tree [Headline] Stolen Police Toilets Press Release Admitted 'We Have Absolutely Nothing To Go On' Stolen Time Stone Age Stone-Blind Stone-Broke Stone-Cold Stone-Cold Sober Stone-Dead Stone-Deaf Stoned Stoned Adulteress Stoned Cherry Stoned Dead Stoned Deaf Stoned Harlot Stoned Henge Stoned Hippie Stoned Olive Stonehenge Stone's Throw Stone-Sober Stonewall Stonewall Jackson Stonewall Jackson's Cousin CSA Brig. Gen. Wm L ‘Mudwal’' Jackson Lost Battle Of Bulltown Stonewalled Jackson Stool Pigeon Stoopnagle's Tale Is Twisted [Ken James] Stop Action Stop Being Such A Pussy, Arnold Schwarzenegger! [End Of Days 1999] Stop Being Such A Pussy, Polly Adler Snapped [New York Madam 1920s -1940s] Stop Being Such A Pussy, Pyewacket! [Witch’s Cat From ‘Bell, Book & Candle’] Stop Bending My Ear, Stop Banging On My Head [Hok Mir Nit In Kop!] 115
Stop Motion Stop Motion Photography Stop Or I'll Kick You In The Testicles [Bones] Stop Repeat Offenders, Don't Re-Elect Them! Stop Searching, Happiness Is Right Next To You, Hidden By Your Shadow Stop Sign Instructions: ‘Always All Ways’ Stop Stabbing Yourself In The Back [Judith Briles] Stop Worrying About Your Job, You Not Paid Enough To Worry Stopped At Two Gas Stations Today & Robbed The First One To Pay The Second Store Display Storehouse Stores Are Opened Up In The Morning & Closed Up At Night Storm Starts When Drops Start Dropping, Drops Stop Dropping Storm Starts Stopping [Seuss] Story Of Our Relationship - Close But No Cigar [007 To Moneypenny] Story Told In Silence Straight Angel Straight Angle Straight-Forward Subterfuge Straight Friend Straight Hook Straight Hooker Straight Listing Straight Out Of Line Straight Turn Strange Friend Strange That Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name Strange To Laugh At Science Fiction & ‘Listen To Weather Forecasts & Economists’ [KThroop3] Strangely Familiar Strangely, One Goose, Two Geese; But Not One Moose, Two Meese Strangely, One Index, But Two Indices Or Two Indexes Strangely, While Lice Have Mice, One Louse Would Only Have Union With One Mouse Strangely, While Mice Have Lice, One Mouse Would Never Be Had By Only One Louse Strangely, While Mice Have Lice, Singularize Them & You Have Mouse & Louse Strangely, While Teachers Have Taught, Preachers Haven't Praught Strangely, While The Plural Of Tooth Is Teeth, The Plural Of Booth Is Not Beeth Strangely, Writers Write, But Fingers Don't Fing, Grocers Don't Groce & Hammers Don't Ham Stranger In A Strange Land Stranger Tread Here With Gravity, Dentist Brown Is Filling His Last Cavity [Tombstone] Strangers Are Just Friends Waiting To Happen Strap Hanging Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement & Logistics Division Or SHIELD [Iron Man] Strategic Stagnation Strategic Withdrawal Strawberry Strawberry Blond Strawberrye Blonde [Complementary Extra Silent ‘E’] 116
Strawberry Papaya Streaker Streakers Are Unsuited For Their Work Streakers Beware & Repant, Your End Is In Sight! Streaking Commando Streaking Nun Streaking Paint Streaming Data Strength Comes Not From Physical Capacity But ‘From An Indomitable Will’ [Gandhi] Strength, Courage & Confidence Is Gained When You ‘Look Fear In The Face’ [Mrs. FDR] Strength Doesn’t Come From Physical Activity, But From An Indomitable Will [Gandhi] Strength Of Human Weakness Has Brought Me Down Strenuous Idleness Stress Is When You Wake Up Screaming & You Realize You Haven't Fallen Asleep Yet Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts. ‘Coincidence? I Think Not!’ Stretch [Bush II For Dick Kyle, Bloomberg News] Stretch Or Little Stretch [Bush II For David Gregory, NBC] Strictly Speaking 'We All Feed On Death - Even Vegetarians' [Mr. Spock] Strike While The Iron Is Hot String Bikini String Cheese String Theory [Quantum Physics] String Theory Or ‘G-String Theory’, Which Did You Say Is Your Major? [Rock Monster 2008] String Up Stringing Along Striped Paint Strippers’ Dressing Room Strippers Getting Screwed In Las Vagas Unionize [Las Vagas] Strippers Illegally Strip Searched At Biggins Bar Awarded $195,000 [Orlando Sentinel] Strippers’ Show Strike: ‘Hell, No! We Won’t Show’ [Las Vagas] Strippers’ Undressing Room Strive For Excellence, Not Perfection Stroke A Cow Before You Milk Her Strokin’ The Snake Strong-Arm Tactics Strong Decaf Strong Interaction Strong-Minded Strong People Have Strong Weaknesses [Peter F. Drucker] Strong Point Strong Suit Strong Weakness Strong-Willed Strong Wimp Strongest Of All Warriors Are Time & Patience [Leo Tolstoi] Strongest Weak Point 117
Strongest Weakness Strongroom Structured C Program Structured Chaos Structured Complexity [Numb3rs] Strung Out Strung Up Stuck Up Stud Tires Out [Headline - Poor Boy &/Or Stranded In Snow Storm?] Student Athlete Student Didn't Disliked The School, Just The Principal Of It Student Professor Student Teacher Student With 90 Degrees Has Completely Turned Around Studied Indifference Studio Apartment Studious Students Study Break Study Finds Broad Problems In Army [AP] Study Indicates Midlands Farms Larger But Fewer [IronHerder Header] Study Outside Studying Fungus Is A Way To Mold Young Minds Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of [The Maltese Falcon, 1941] Stuffed Prophet [Grover Cleveland When Topping Scales At 250 Pounds] Stump The Chumps [Car Talk] Stumped By A Stump Stunted Growth Stupefyin' Jones Was A NewMar [Julie, That Is! - Li'l Abner] Stupid Genius Stupid Is As Stupid Does Stupidity Got Us Into This Mess, Why Can't It Get Us Out? Stygiophobia & Christianity - Fear Of Hell Styrofoam Peanut Stuffed Shirt Suits Us To Place Garments In Suitcase & Suits In Garment Bag, The Law Suit Asserted Stumped Stunt Action Stunted Growth Stupid Genius Stupid Neither Forgive Nor Forget, Naive Forgive & Forget, Wise Forgive But Don’t Forget Stupid People Are Smart-Asses Stupidity Does Not Qualify As A Handicap, Park Elsewhere! Stupidity, If Left Untreated, Is Self-Correcting [Robert Heinlein] Stupidity Is Like Soccer, You Can Use Your Head, But A Swift Kick Is Better Stupidity Is Often Sufficient Explanation Stupidity Isn't Normally An Act, It’s The Real Thing 118
Stupidly Clever Stir It & Stump It & Blow Your Own Trumpet For Any Chance To Advance [Wm Gilbert] Stutterer Shudders When He Stutters So Keep Shutters Shut Style Is To Know Who You Are, What You Want To Say & Not Give A Damn [Orson Welles] Subdued Debate Subject The Subject To A Series Of Serious Subjective Tests Subjective Data Sublime & Ridiculous So Nearly Related, 1 Step Above Sublime Makes Ridiculous [Tom Paine] Sublime & Ridiculous So Nearly Related, 1 Step Above Ridiculous Makes Sublime Again [T.P.] Sublime Faith In Human Imbecility Has Seldom Led Those Who Cherish It Astray [Henry Ellis] Sublime Noise [Beethoven's Fifth Symphony] Sublime To The Ridiculous Sublime To The Ridiculous Is But A Step [Napoléon Bonaparte] Subprime Mortgages Substance Over Form Subtle Exaggeration Subtlety Is Art Of Speaking Your Mind & Withdrawing Before It's Understood Suburban Culture Suburbia: Where They Chop Down The Trees & Then Name Streets After Them Suburgatory, A 'Suburban Hell' [TV] Subversive Compliance Subway Foot Long Only Eleven Inches Long! [‘Mighty Morsel’ Said Mighty Mouse] Subway Surface Subzero Success Always Occurs In Private & Failure In Full View Success Can Be Insured Only By Defense Against Failure Of The Contingency Plan Success Comes From Doing Common Things Uncommonly Well Success Comes In Cans Success Consists Of Going From Failure To Failure Without Loss Of Enthusiasm [Churchill] Success Doesn't Come To You, You Go To It [Marva Collins] Success Has Many Fathers, While Failure Is An Orphan Success Hinges On A Passion For Excellence [John F. Kennedy] Success Is A Ladder That Cannot Be Climbed With Your Hands In Your Pockets Success Is A Relative Term, It Brings Out So Many Relatives You Haven't Seen For Years Success Is A State Of Mind [Dr. Joyce Brothers] Success Is Ability To Go From Failure To Failure Without Loss Of Enthusiasm [Churchill] Success Is Determined By How Determined You Are To Succeed [Geoffrey Lorenz] Success Is Falling Nine Times & Getting Up Ten [Jon Bon Jovi] Success Is Getting Up Just One More Time Than You Fall Down Success Is Lousy Teacher, Seduces Intelligent Into Thinking They Can’t Lose [Bill Gates] Success Is Merely Surmounting The Last Supposedly Insurmountable Hill [Barry J. Lipson] Success Is Never Permanent & Failure Is Never Final [Mike Ditka] Success Is State Of Mind, It Starts By Thinking Of Yourself As A Success [Joyce Brothers] Success Is Sum Of Small Efforts, Repeated Day In & Day Out [Robert Collier] Success Is The Best Revenge Success Is The Best Revenge - Revenge Is The Best Revenge [Suits] 119
Success Is To ‘Figure Out Exactly What You Want To Do & Do It’ [Mario Cuomo] Success Isn’t Spontaneous Combustion, It's Setting Yourself On Fire Success Isn't Permanent & Failure Isn't Fatal [Mike Ditka] Success May Come To The Destined, But It Also Comes To The Determined Success Not Measured By Position , But Obstacles Overcome To Get There [B.T. Washington] Success Occurs In Private, Failure In Full View Success Of A Venture Will Be Helped By Prayer, Even In The ‘Wrong’ Faith Success Of Symposium Depends On Ratio Of Meeting To Eating Success Only Comes Before ‘Work’ In The Dictionary Success Perceived Attained Stops Progress Success Requires Adherence To Two Rules, The First: Never Tell Everything You Know! Success Under A Good Leader Is The People's Success [Lao Tsu 600-400BC] Successful Diet Is The Triumph Of Mind Over Platter Successful Dieters May Win The Nobelly Prize Successful Failure [ Apollo 13 Mission] Successful Guy Makes Mucho Money For His Wife, Successful Gal Finds Him [Lana Turner] Successful Individuals Just Did 'A Little Bit More' [A. Lou Vickery] Successful Man Is Not The One Who Has The Most, But The One Who Needs The Least Successful Man Makes More Than His Wife Spends, Successful Woman Finds Such A Man Successful People Are Very Lucky, Just Ask Any Failure [Michael Levine] Successful People ‘Make Mistakes But Don't Quit’ [Conrad Hilton] Successful Relationship Must Look Like You're Giving As Much As You're Getting Successful Suicide Succubus, Demonic Seductress From Late Latin Succuba, 'Strumpet' Or 'To Lie Under' Succubus, Original 4 Succubi Being Lilith, Agrat Bat Mahlat, Naamah & Eisheth Zenunim Sudden Steep Rise Of Temperature Was Responsible For The Intolerable Heat Sue Her! – The Sewer Server Said, ‘I’ll Pursue Her Through The Sewer!’ Sue The Sideswiping Sucker In That Seersucker [Barry J. Lipson] Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice, That's What Little Girls Are Made Of *Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice? That Sounds Fattening! *Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice , ‘BULLSHIT’ As To Hip Hopper LiL V [Sicknasty Vol. 1] *Sugar & Spice: Everyone ‘Either Loves Her Or Hates’ V & ‘She Loves & Hates Everyone’ Sugar Cane Gift Came From Our Asian Indian Friends, Not Our Cuban Indian Friends Sugar Cane Thieves Were Caned & Quartered, Now They Are Canned & Quartered Sugar-Coated Satan Sandwich [Missouri Rep. Emanuel Cleaver] Sugar Cube In Uniform Lumps Developed By Austrian Jacob Christoph Rad [Circa 1840] Sugar Cube Inquiry For Coffee, Tea Or Me Naturally Became: 'One Lump Or Two?' Sugar Cube Sugar Highs Naturally Can Lead To One Hump Or Two, Humpity Hump Sugar Cubes Engendered Camel Rental Agent’s Question: 'One Hump Or Two?' Sugar Cubes Engendered Madame’s Query To Straights & Gays: 'One Hump Or Two?' Sugar Cubes Freely Plonked Until After World War II Packets Began Supplanting Them Sugar Cubes Made Bugs Bunny Ask: '1 Lump Or 2? - 2 Please!' - Boink, Boink, To The Head! Sugar Cubes Non-Crumbling Secret: ‘Small Paper Wrapper Tear, To Let In All That Air’ Sugar Daddy Sugar-Free Cake Sugar Glider Phalanger [Arboreal Marsupial] 120
Sugar I Sure Like You, You Are The Sole English Words Spelt 'Su' & Pronounced 'Sh' Sugarless Candy Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake! Suicide Bombers Suicide Blonde - Dyed By Her Own Hand Suicide Failed Is Punishable By Death Suicide Is A Long Term Answer, To A Short Term Problem Suicide Is A Desperate Way Of Giving Up Before You’re Given Up On! Suicide Is Fatal! Suicide Is Not In His Repertoire, He's Far Too Fond Of Himself For That [Holmes 2009] Suicide Is The Most Sincere Form Of Self-Criticism Suicide Is The Only Crime Which Is Its Own Punishment Suicide Is The Only Crime Whose Punishment Is Self-Executing Suicide Machine Suicide Medicine Suicide Murder Suicide Pact Suicide Viable Answer For Some [Daily Nebraskan IronHerder Header] Suicide ‘Viable’ Answer For Some? Not Viable For Those ‘Capable Of Living’! Suicide Victim Suits Are Carried In Garment Bags, While Garments Are Packed In Suitcases Sum Of Society's Intelligence Is Less Than The Average Of Its Individual Parts Summer Rain Summer School Summers The Summers Summer On Summerlee Lane In Summersville, WV, Sometimes Sumo Wrestling Is Survival Of The Fattest Sumptuousness Of Annual Report Is In Inverse Proportion To Its Profitability That Year Sun & Moon Sun Is Leading Cause Of Sunburns [Headline] Sun Rays Lighten Our Hair, But Darken Our Skin Sun Screen Sun Shade Sun Shower Sun Tanning Olympics Top Award Is The Bronze Sunbathing While Reading Makes You Well Red Sunday Isn't Sunday Without The Sunday Times [Sunday Times] Sunday Soldiers Sunken Treasure Foray: 'You'll Come Out Of It Enriched Or Just Soaked' [Ross K. Baker] Sun’s Nighttime Whereabouts Was A Mystery Until It Suddenly Dawned On Me Suoi Tien Park ,Vietnamese Buddhist Theme Park With Eternal Life Heaven Palace Super Acid Super Bowl Super Bowl Winner Picks Last – GOP: ‘Punishment Of Success’ Super-Competence May Be More Objectionable Than Incompetence Super-Duper Super Duper Superego 121
Super Heavyweight Super Information Highway Super Leadership Is Making Yourself Superfluous Super Normal Super-Size Coke Banned In Big Apple Super-Size Meal Comes With Diet Coke Super Small Super Snitch Super Stretch [Bush II For Bill Sammon, Washington Times] Super Supper Sipped By Sailors Slurping Salty Dogs Superbug Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Of Mary Poppins Film & Musical Fame Supercargo Supercharged Superciliary Ridge Supercilious Behavior Superconducting Supercollider Supercool Supercritical Superdad Superego Superette [Big - Small] Superior Man Is Modest In His Speech, But Exceeds In His Actions [Confucius] Supererogation Supererogatory Superette Superfatted Toilet Soaps Superfecta Superfecundation Superfetate Superficial Differences Superficial Knowledge Superficial Mind Superficial Pondering Superficial Report Superficial Similarities Superficial Thinking Superficial Wound Superfluity Superfluous Words Superfund Site Supergrass [Super Snitch] Superheat Superhero Superhighway Superhuman 122
Superhydrophobe - The Unwettables! Superimposition Superincumbent Superinfect Superior Conjunction Superior General Superior Opponent Superior Planet Superior Skill Superior To Fear Superior To Law Superior Wisdom Superiority Complex Superjacent Superlative Degree Superload Superlunar Superman/Clark Kent Leaves Daily Planet For ‘Daily Blog It’- Lois Changes Lanes!!! Superman, Man Of Steel, Visually Blocked By Lead, Crumbles To Kryptonite Supermolecule Supermom Supernatural Supernatural Virtues [Faith, Hope & Charity] Supernormal Excitability Supernormal Intimations Supernumerary Employees Supernumerary Ornamentation Supernumerary Ribs Superordinate Word Superordinated Notions Superoxide Superoxide Dismutase Superpartner Superpatriotic [Jingoistic] Superposable Superposition Principle Superpower Supersaturated Superscribe Supersedeas Writ Supersensitised Supersession Supersize Superslasher [Utahraptor] Supersonic Bomber Superstar 123
Superstars Of Starvation Vs. Meat Mountains Superstate Superstitious Horror Superstitious Notion Superstrated Cherokee [By English] Superstring Superstructure [As On A Shipshape Gal?] Supersymmetry [Strong & Weak Interaction, Electromagnetism & Gravitation] Supertanker Supertax Supertitle [Opera] Supertonic [Don’t Drink To This!] Supertwister [Don’t Dance To This!] Supervene Upon Supervised Play Supervisor Interrupt Supervisory Capacity Supervisory Routine Supply Of Math Teachers Never Run Out Because They Always Multiply Supply-Side Economics Support Bacteria, They're The Only Culture Some People Have Support Groups Support Your Country Always & Your Government When It Deserves It ['Twain-ish'] Support Your Local Search & Rescue Unit, Get Lost! Supporting Documentation Suppose We All Have To Play The Piper Sometime Suppose We All Have To Pay The Piper Sometime - 'Oh Pipe Down 007' [007 To Q To 007] Suppository Of Useless Information [Dark Tirade] Supreme Court In Loving v. Virginia Declared Anti-Miscegenation Laws Unconstitutional Supreme Court In Loving v. Virginia Declared Interracial Loving Constitutionally Protected Supremely Conservative Supremely Conservative Chief Justice Roberts [Prior To Supremely Popular Supreme Court Justice Roberts By Liberals For Roberts-Care Supremely Popular Supreme Court Justice Roberts NOT, By Conservatives For Robert-Scare Sure Bet Sure Deal Sure Fire Tip Sure Guess Sure Thing Sure-Thing Boat Never Gets Far From Shore [Dale Carnegie] Sure You Can Trust The Government! Just Ask An Indian! Surest Protection Against Temptation Is Cowardice [Mark Twain] Surest Sign of Intelligent Life Out There Is That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us Surest Way Not To Fail Is To Determine To Succeed [Richard B. Sheridan] Surprise Attack Surprise Attack Was Anticipated & Neutralized 124
Surprised No One Surprised Psychic Surprising Thing About Young Fools Is How Many Survive To Become Old Fools Surprisingly Boring Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents [Headline – What, The…?] Sushicide, Suicide By The Eating Of Fishy Sushi Suspect Ordered Returned To Wash [Headline] Suspended Indefinitely Suspended Sentence Suspicions Of Others Are Most Often Aroused By Our Knowledge Of Ourselves Sustainable Chaos Sustainable Depletion Sustainable Development Sustainable Instability Sustainable Mining Swarm In May Is Worth A Load Of Hay *Swarm In June Is Worth A Silver Spoon *Swarm In July Is Not Worth A Fly Swastika Appeared First In Ancient India & Has Stood For Shakti, Auspiciousness & Eternity Swastika Corrupted In 1920 As German Nazi Party Symbol & Then As Nazi Germany State Flag Swearing Mute’s Mother Washed His Hands Off With Soap Swede Who Found God Was A Bjorn-Again Christian Sweet & Low Sweet & Sour Sweet As The Moment When The Pod Went 'Pop' [Birds Eye Peas] Sweet Bread, Edible Animal Gland Sweet Bread Is Meat & Sweet Meat Is Bread Sweet Compulsion [John Milton] Sweet Crude Sweet Death Sweet Disorder Sweet Food Of Sweetly Uttered Knowledge [John Lyly] Sweet Four O' Clock Sweet Meat, Sweetened Pastry Sweet Onion Sweet Pain Sweet Pea Sweet Pickle Sweet Potato Music Sweet Pussy Sweet Sacrifice [Evanescence] Sweet Sin Sweet Sixteen Sweet Smell Of Fresh Stink Sweet Sorrow [Shakespeare] Sweet Sour 125
Sweet Spot Sweet Sweetness! Sweet Tart Sweet-Talk Sweet Tooth By Ian McEwan, Leaves A Sour Taste Sweet Torture Sweetbread Sweetheart Deal Sweetheart Is A Bottle Of Wine, A Wife Is A Wine Bottle [Charles Baudelaire] Sweetie’s Honey Pot Sweetie’s Sweet Honey Pot Sweetie’s Stinky Honey Pot Sweetmeat Sweetmeats Are Candies, While Sweetbreads, Which Meet To Eat, Are Meat & Not Sweet Sweetness & Light Sweetness Of Breasts Lasts Until The Grave Swell Lady Swell Lay Swelled Belly Swelled River Swelled To A Crescendo Swelling With Importance Swiftboating Swing Bike Unicycle Swing Dance Swing Seat Swingers Swingers Are Always Monkeying Around Swingers Swung Through The Tree Tops Swinging Dizzy Blonde Swinging From Swing State To Swing State To Become Head Of State Swinging Swells In The Dance Halls, Jungles & Bedrooms Swinging Singles Swinging Singles Swingle in Swingle, CA Swingles, Flat-Bladed Hemp Beaters & Scrappers Swingles, Rod-Shaped Hump Bumpers For Swinging Singles & Friends With Benefits? Swiss Army Swiss Cheese Swiss Navy Swiss Steak Switch Hitler Switch Hitter Switch Which Witch? Switch Which Witch, Then Switch Witches? Switch Witch Swooning Fit 126
Sympathy You Feel For A Person; Empathy You Feel With A Person Symphonic Discord Symposium Success Depends On The Ratio Of Meeting To Eating Synchronized Swim Team Drowns Synchronized Swimmers Drown Together Synchronized Swimmers Swim Together Synonym For Synonym? Synonym Is A Word Replacing One You Can't Spell Syntactic Sugar Causes Cancer Of The Semicolon Synthetic Natural Fiber Synthetic Natural Gas System Error System Which Depends On Human Reliability Is Unreliable Systematic Chaos Systematic Disorder Systematic Variance Systemic Risk, Peril Of Collapse Of An Entire Financial Market Or System
T T-Shirt: Front- 60 Is Not Old. Back- If You're A Tortoise [Giant Tortoise Age 255] Tabled Motion Tacit Agreement Taco Salad Taco Spelled Backwards Is ‘O! Cat’ – The Mystery Meat Tact Is The Ability To Close Your Mouth Before Somebody Else Does/Wants To Tact Is The Ability To Describe Others As They See Themselves [Abraham Lincoln] Tact Is The Ability To Tell A Man He Has An Open Mind When He Has A Hole In His Head Tact Is The Art Of Convincing People That They Know More Than You Do [R.Mortimer] Tact Is The Art Of Making A Point Without Making An Enemy Tact Is The Unsaid Part Of What You're Thinking Tactless Man Is One Who Voices What Everybody Is Thinking Taffy Or Taff: Brit For Welsh After River Taff - 'Taffy Was A Welshman, Taffy Was A Thief' Tahrir Square, Meaning Liberation Square, Was Ismailia Square Until 1919 Egypt Revolution Tahrir Square, Situs Of Dawning Of Arab Spring In Egypt On February 9, 2011 Tail Bearers Are Often The Butt Of Asinine Tales Tailgaitors, A Hilton Head, SC Eatery, Presumably For Tailgating Alligator Hunters Tailor After Fast Tail Will Be Pressed For Time Taiwanese Pepsi Slogan Nixed: 'Pepsi Will Bring Your Ancestors Back From The Dead' Take A Chill Pill Take A Leak In The Woods Take A Leek In The Woods Take A Licking & Keep On Ticking Take As Much Care On The Way Down As On The Way Up Take Calculated Risks, That Is Quite Different From Being Rash [George S. Patton] Take Care Of The Pence & The Pounds Will Take Care Of Themselves Take Credit For Anything Good That Happens 127
Take It Easy & If You Get It Easy Take It Twice Take It Easy, We're In A Hurry Take It Now & Ask Questions Later Take Lesson From The Weather, It Pays No Attention To Criticism Take Me Down To The Bar! We’ll Drink Breakfast Together! [W. C. Fields] Take Me Out To The Ball Game Is Sung When Your Already There! Why? Take Me To A Place Where Sound & Silence Meet Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It! Take Risks, Not To Escape Life, But To Prevent Life From Escaping Takes The 'Ouch' Out Of Grouch [7-Up] Take Two Tax Cuts, Roll Back Some Regulations & Call Us In The Morning [Obama On GOP] Take Up Meditation, It's Better Than Sitting Doing Nothing Take What You Can Use & Let The Rest Go By [Ken Kesey] Takes A Lot Of Freedom To Make Good Beer [Fritz Maytag] Takes About Ten Years To Get Used To How Old You Are & Then You Start Over! Takes Fewer Muscles To Smile Than Frown & Fewer Still To Ignore Someone Completely Takes Many Nails To Build A Crib, But Only One Screw To Fill It Takes Out J.A.P.’s On Xmas Eve Takes out Shiksas On Yum Kippur Night Taking Bull By The Horns Taking It One Day At A Time Is OK, But Lately Several Have Attacked Me At Once Tale Bearers Are As Bad As The Tale Makers [School For Scandal] Tale Bearers Are Often As Bad As The Tail Makers, Though Hornier Talent Hits Target Others Can’t Hit, Genius Hits Target Others Can’t See [Art. Schopenhauer] Talent Is Formed In Solitude, Character In The Bustle Of The World [Goethe] Talent Is What You Possess, Genius Is What Possesses You [Malcolm Cowley] Talent Wins Games, But Teamwork & Intelligence Wins Championship Taliban Friend Taliban Intelligence Talk Is Cheap Talk Is Cheap As Supply Exceeds Demand Talk Is Cheap, But So Are You Talk Is Cheap, Except When Congress Does It Talk Less, Say More Talk Of The Devil & He Is Bound To Appear Talk Sense To A Fool & He Calls You Foolish [Euripides, Circa 407 BC] Talk Show Talk The Talk, Walk The Walk Talkers Are No Good Doers [Shakespeare, Henry VI] Talking About Computers Makes My Mother Board Talking Mime Talking Pictures Tall Dwarfs [Rock Group] Tallest Midget Tallest Man Is One Who Stoops To Help A Child Tally Ho! What Men Are These Who Wear Their Balls In Parenthesis? 128
Tame Beast Tame Cat Tampons Free For Limited Period! Bloody Good Deal, No Strings Attached! Tangent Man [Bush II For White House Chief Of Staff Andrew Card] Tangled Bell Ringer Tolled Himself Off Tank Heaven For Little Grills [Propane Filling Station] Tans: Irish For Brits From 1920's Brutal Black & Tans British Army Unit Deployed In Ireland Tap Dancer Fell In The Sink & Sunk Her Career Taped Live Tapestry Of Justice [The Closer] Tapestry Of Justice Is Such A Travesty Targeted Spam Taphophobia & Taphephobia - Pre- Embalming Fear Of Being Buried Alive Tart - A Nubile Young Temptress, Who Dresses Teasingly & Provocatively Tart - Delicious Filled Treat, Either With Jam & Cream Or You & Cream Tart Pooh: Tairy & Other Fales [F. Chase Taylor- Twisted Tales] Tartlet - Tweenage Girl Who Behaves &/Or Dresses Like A Tart [Under 15] Tartlet - Tweenager, Petite & Sweet Enough To Eat Tarzan Is Beardless, What About Jane? Tarzan Shaves! Tarzan Was A Swinger, Jane His Swingee, Both Craved Swing & Swinging Tasmanians, Who Never Committed Adultery, Are Now Extinct [M. Somerset Maugham] Tasmanians, ‘Who Never Committed Adultery, Are Now Extinct’ - All Faithful & All Gone? Tasmanians, ‘Who Never Committed Adultery, Are Now Extinct’ - Those Who Did Still Live? Tassels On Pasties Twirled Vigorously Taste The Bitter To Understand The Sweet Tastes So Good Cats Ask For It By Name [Meow Mix Cat Food] Tastiest Foods Have The Highest Number Of Calories Tasty Bangers Tasty Hospital Food Tates' Maps Are Confused, Which Is Origin Of Caution 'He Who Has A Tates Is Lost!' Tattoo Artist Has Designs On His Clients Tattoo Is Permanent Proof Of Temporary Insanity Taught Criminal Criminal Tort Taught Tort Taunting Gracefully Is Worth More Than Inflicting A Thousand Insults Tautological Is A Beginner Who Has Just Started Tax Audit First Prize! Just Fill Out One Simple Form Tax Avoidance & Evasion Are Legally Separated By About 10 Years Tax Credit Tax Cut Tax Dodger Tax Free Tax Holiday Tax Relief Tax Refund 129
Tax Return Tax Simplification Taxation With Representation Isn't So Hot, Either! [Bumper Sticker] Taxes Are Not Levied For The Benefit Of The Taxed Taxes Are The Price We Pay For Civilization [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr] Taxidermist Advises 'We Really Know Our Stuff’ Taxidermy The Rich! [Occupied Wall Street] Taxpayer Is One Who Takes No Civil Service Exam Yet Works For The Government Taxpayer Who Can Be Most Heavily Taxed, Has Most Power To Escape Being Taxed Taxpayer Who Thinks He Can Safely Cheat Will Probably Cheat Taxpayer Works For Government But Doesn't Take Civil Service Exam [Ronald Reagan] Tchaikovsky Was Only Winner In The War Of 1812 Tchotchke, Yiddishe For Cutesy Knickknacks, Curios & Objects Of Little Perceived Value Tea Bags & People Only Show Their True Strength When In Hot Water Tea Bagger Tea-Bagged Her While She Was Drunk Tea Baggers' Tea Party Tea Party Tea Party, Circa Boston 1773, Advocates No Taxation Without Representation Tea Party, Circa 2000’s, Advocates Reduction Of Debt, Deficit, Spending & Taxes Tea Party, Circa 2000’s, American Decentralized Political Movement Tea Party Groups Fighting Taxation, Seek Non-Tax Status & Engage In Tax-Code Shenanigans Tea Party Leadership Tea Party Liberal Tea Party Madhatter Tea Party Members Mad Hatter, Dormouse, Dodo,, White Rabbit, Tweedledee & Tweedledum Tea Party Non-Profits Holler For Taxation Without Reprehensibleness Tea Will Warm, Cool, Cheer, Or Calm You [If You Are The Opposite - Wm Gladstone] Teach A Child To Read & He’ll Be Able To Pass A Literacy Test [George W. Bush] Teach Kids First 2 Years To Walk & Talk & Next 16 Try To Teach To Sit Down & Shut-Up Teachers Are The Only Profession That Teach Our Children [Dan Quayle] Teachers Have Taught, But Preachers Haven't Praught Teachers Open The Door, You Enter By Yourself Teachers Strikes Idle Kids [Headline – Striking School Or Kids?] Teachers Union Teaching By Learning Teaching Kids In The Heat Of The Moment Is Bad Heir-Conditioning Team Boss Team Of Mavericks Teamwork, A Lot Of People Doing Things My Way Teamwork Is Essential, It Allows You To Blame Someone Else Teamwork Is Never Having To Take All The Blame Yourself Teamwork Is Vital, It Gives You Someone To Blame Teamwork Means Never Having To Take All The Blame Yourself Tear In Titillating Painting Brought Tear To Her Eye & Torn Expectations Tears Of Joy Tears, The Way Male Will Power Is Defeated By Feminine Water Power 130
Teaspoon Can Stir/Measure Tea, But What Can Table Spoon Do [Except Hold 3 Teaspoons]? Technical Objection Is The First Refuge Of A Scoundrel Technical Support Techno Music Techno Singer Techno Song Technology Gave Us Both Green Gardens Through Desalinization & Hiroshima Technology Is Dominated By Those Who Don't Understand It Technology Will Have The Appearance Of Magic To The Less Advanced Technophobia - Luddites Fear Of Technocrats & Technology Teddy [Theodore Roosevelt] Teddy Roosevelt's Rough Riders Teddy Roosevelt's Rough Riders Learn To Canter Teddy Roosevelt's Roughly Singing Riders Circumcised Teddy Roosevelt's Singing Rough Rider Cantors Swing Smoothly Tee Party Teedie [Baby Teddy Roosevelt] Teenage Logic Teetotaler: Abstainer From Strong Drink, Sometimes Totally, Sometimes Tolerably Totally Teflon Bill [Bill Clinton] Teflon Excalibur Teflon President [Ronald Reagan] Teflon Ron [Ronald Reagan] Telepath Wanted: You Know Where To Apply Telephobia - Fear Or Reluctance To Make Or Take Telephone Calls To/ From In-Laws & Others Telephone Has Too Many Shortcomings, It's 'Of No Value To Us' [Western Union Memo 1876] Telephone Service Telepresence Telescopes That Could See Mermaids At The Bottom Of The Darkest Sea [Colin Thompson] Television: A Medium, So Called Because It Is Neither Rare Nor Well Done Television Cable Service Television Critic Television Has Brought Murder Back Into The Home - Where It Belongs [Alfred Hitchcock] Television Is Bubble Gum For The Eyes [Frank Lloyd Wright] Television Is Democracy At Its Ugliest [Paddy Chayevsky] Tell Me & I Forget, Show Me & I Remember, Let Me Do & I Understand [Confucius] Tell Me What You Eat & I'll Tell You Who You Are [Anthelme Brillat-Savarin] Tell Me What You Need & I'll Tell You How To Get Along Without It Tell The Truth & Run [Yugoslavian Saying] Tell The Truth & Shame The Devil Tell The Truth & You Don't Have To Remember Anything [Mark Twain] Tell Them To Stand Closer Apart [Samuel Goldwyn] Tell'em What You're Gonna Tell'em, Tell'em & Tell'em What You Told'em Telling The Boss You're A Great Worker Is Worth 1%, Showing Him Is Worth 99% Telling You To Be Yourself Simply Couldn’t Have Been Worse Advice Telly Savalas Became Telly Star ‘Kojak’ [ In Original Pilot ‘Theo Kojack’] 131
Telly Savalas, Born Aristotelis Savalas, Played Greek Detective With Dutch Name Kojak Temper Is The Only Thing You Can't Get Rid Of By Losing It Tempered Enthusiasm Tempest In A Teapot Temple Of Dissipation [School For Scandal] Temporary Destiny Temporary Government Job Temporary Tax Temporary Tax Increase Temporary Tax Relief Ten-Cent Jimmie [James Buchanan] Ten Dollar Dinner Box Is Only Ten Dollars! [Pizza Hut] Ten Fingers, Ten Toes, By Gum, I’m Metric! - But Two Eyes, Two Ears, I Must Be Binary!!! Ten Millipedes Equal One Centipede Ten-Ounce Pound Cake Ten Out Of Five Doctors Feel It's OK To Be Skitzo Tendency Towards Good Is As Water's Tendency Is To Flow Downhill [Mencius Circa 300BC] Tennessee Mafia Jug Band Provides Old-Timey Knee-Slappy, Toe-Tappy Performance Tennessee Tailor [Andrew Johnson] Tense Calm Tent Pole Tentative Conclusion Tentative Decision Terminal Degree Terminal Degree Received By PhD Candidate From CIA Terminal Illness Is When You Are Sick At The Airport & Your Flight Has Been Canceled Terminal Initialization Terminated With Extreme Prejudice Terminator Ascended to Governator Reaganesquely Terminator Has Been Governated & Kennedated, But Not Chappaquiddicted! Terminator Was Adulterator Before He Was Governator Terrible Towel Terrible Towel Pirated By Pirates Who Stole It From Steelers – Myron, Cope With That! Terrible Truth Terribly Amusing Terribly Enjoyable Terribly Funny Terribly Good Terribly Lovely Terribly Nice Terribly Pleased Terribly Wonderful Terrific Headache Territorial Imperative Territory Behind Rhetoric Is Too Often Mined With Equivocation Terror Carefully Applied Is Also A Form Of Communication 132
Terror Leader In Iraq Declares War On Tape [AP] Terrorist Has Bomb But Can’t Afford An Air Force [William Blum] Terrorists Kill Fewer Americans Than Are Killed By Their Own Furniture Terrorists Went Nuclear Fission Terrorocracy Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert Box Bottom Belatedly Cautions: Do Not Turn Upside Down Test Of Democracy Is Freedom Of Criticism [David Ben-Gurion] Testimonials Most First Pass The Test Without Moaning, Monition Or Immolation Texas Chic Texas League "Longballers" Texas Outhouse [Eatery/Plumbing Supplies] Text Image Th-Th-That's All, F-F-Folks! [Porky Pig] Thai-Foon [Thai Curry Restaurant] Thank God For Hard Currency! [007 Knife Stopper] Thank God I’m An Atheist ! [Luis Bunel] Thank Heaven For Li’l Grills [Propane Filling Station] Thank Heaven For Little Girls, For Little Girls Get Bigger Every Day! [Gigi] Thank Heaven For Tiny Boys, For Tiny Boys Get Tougher, Harder & Bigger Every Day! [Gee!] Thanks For Continuing To Help Me Out Financially So I Can Continue To Be Independent Thanks For Sending Me A Copy Of Your Book, I'll Waste No Time Reading It [Moses Hadas] Thanks To Multi-Copters Obama’s Mission To ‘Obsolescenize’ Osama Was Not ‘Carterized’! Thanks To TV Young Now See History Made Before It’s Censored By Their Elders [M. Mead] Thanks Wharton For Training Us To Be CEO’s, Now How Do We Get There? [Wharton School] Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Founded By Puritans To Give Thanks For Bein’ Preserved From The Indians Thanksgiving Gives Thanks Now That ‘We Are Preserved From The Puritans’ [Finley P. Dunne] Thanksgiving Meal, Self-Cooking A Self-Basting Turkey In A Self-Cleaning Oven Thanksgiving To A 3 Yr Old: ‘I Don't Like The Turkey, But I Like The Bread He Ate’ Thanksgiving Turkey Pardoned By President That !%!&@#!%$@!$# sued me! That Dog Won’t Bark That Is Soo Fetch! [Latka – Taxi] That Lends Weight To The Argument [Complexified Metaphor] That Man [Franklin D. Roosevelt] That Man Is Richest Whose Pleasures Are Cheapest [Thoreau] That Man In The White House [Franklin D. Roosevelt] That Man Who Makes No Mistakes Does Not Usually Make Anything [Bishop W.C. Magee] That Shoe Fits Him Like A Glove That Should Do You For Awhile, Said Cold Fish Wife To Soon To Dump Her Hubby That Takes Me Back Or Is It Forward, With Time Travel You Never Can Tell [Dr. Who] That Toasts My Bagel! That Was A Fat Little Game Of Footy! That Was The Best Ice-Cream Soda I Ever Tasted [Reportedly The Last Words Of Lou Costello] That Was Zen, This Is Tao That What We Dwell On Is Who We Become [Oprah Winfrey] 133
That Which Can't Be Settled By Experiment Is Not Worth Debating [Mike Alder] That Which Can't Be Settled Yet By Experiment Is Worthy Of Exploring By Debate That Which Does Not Kill Us Makes Us Stronger [Friedrich Nietzsche] That Which We Call Sin In Others Is Experimentation For Us That Woman Is Longing For Hen Cheese & Cuckoo Milk That You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone [Joni Mitchell] That's A Bunch Of Malarkey That's An Original Point Of View Conveys The Misconception 'They Like My Ideas!' That's An Original Point Of View Really Means 'You Must Be Mad!' That’s His Junk? Yep, His Burden Is A Big Package! That’s How The Cookie Crumbles! That’s Not An Optical Illusion, It Just Looks Like One That's Not Bad Conveys The Misconception 'That's Bad’ Or ‘Mediocre’ That's Not Bad Really Means 'Pip Pip Old Chap, Right On, Very Good! That's One Sneaky Kid! [That's Incredible] That's Our Strongest Weak Point [Samuel Goldwyn] That's The News & I Am Outta Here! [Dennis Miller] That's The $64,000 Question! - Which Doesn’t Buy As Much As It Used To! The Abolitionist [John Quincy Adams] The Afterlife Is Heaven The Afterlife Is Hell The Ball Happily Danced Into The Net [Complexified Metaphor] The Beauty Seen Is Partly In Him Who Sees It The Beginning Is Always Today [Mary Wollstonecraft] The Big Apple The Big Apple Bitten The Blade [Bush II For Office Of Management & Budget Director Mitch Daniels] The Butcher [General Ulysses S. Grant After 60,000 Casualties] The Cautious Seldom Err [Kong-Fu-Tse [Confucius] 551-479BC] The 'Check Is In The Mail' Or The 'Czech Is In The Male'? The Chief [Herbert Hoover] The Church Paganised Christianity The Cobra [Bush II For Pulitzer Prize Winner & Anti-Mason Maureen Dowd] The Comeback Kid [Bill Clinton] The Dog Wags His Tail, Seeking Approval. See Mine? Different Message [Cat Haiku] The Earth Eats A Lot Of Tasty Things The Empire Is Always In Some Kind Of Peril [Alan Quartermain] The Enchanter [Martin Van Buren] The End Begins The Englishman [Bush II For Peter Mcmahon, Husband Of Press Secretary Dana Perino] The Facts, Although Interesting, Are Usually Irrelevant The Facts, Ma'am, Just the Facts The Food Here Is Terrible, & The Portions Are Too Small [Woody Allen] The Future Ain't What It Used To Be [Yogi Berra] The Future Is A Lot Closer Than You May Think The Future Is Now 134
The Future Is Today The Future Will Be Better Tomorrow [Dan Quayle] The Future Will Depend On What We Do In The Present The Games Afoot [Sherlock Holmes 2009] The Games Afoot, Stop The Carriage! The Gipper [Ronald Reagan] The Grateful Dead The Higher, The Fewer [Star Trek, TNG] The Impossible By Definition Is Not Possible The Liberator [Abraham Lincoln] The Lion [Theodore Roosevelt] The Major [William Mckinley] The Man In The Boat Is Out The Man In The Boat, Swelling With Pride, I’ll ‘Be Your Friend 'Till The Dying End’[Jill Sobule] The Masses Are Asses [Der Oilem Iz A Goilem] The Media No Longer Controls The Media The Meek Will Inherit The Earth, The Rest Of Us Will Go To The Stars The Peace War The People's Republic Of China The Pill, Now Either Always Or The Morning After The Power Is Yours! [Captain Planet] The Power Of The Grain - Drunk Teen Ran Over Mom As She Begged Him Not To Drive Drunk The Power Of The Grain - Explosive! Kansas City Grain Dust Explosion, 3 Dead & 3 Missing The Power Of The Grain - Sucked To Death, Wyatt Whitebread, 14, While Walking Down Grain The Power Of The Right Advisor - But How Far Right Would Be Right? Write It Out! The Power Of The Right Advisor™ [Merrill Lynch] The Same Kimono The Top Geishas Are Wearing -- Got It At Loehmann's [Haiku] The Score Never Interested Me, Only The Game [Mae West] The Show Bombed The Silence Is Deafening The Simpsons Already Did What South Park Already Did Better The Truth Is Not For All Men, But Only For Those Who Seek It [Ayn Rand] The Tycoon [Abraham Lincoln] The Un-Cola [7-Up] The Walking Dead Theatrical Performance About Puns Was A Play On Words Their Dissidents Are Our Activists Theirs But To Do Or Die! Theirs Not To Reason Why, Theirs But To Do & Die [Tennyson, Charge Of The Light Brigade] Thelonious Monk Became Felonious Monk, Losing NYC Cabaret License For Six Years Them That Has, Gets Them That Has, Gets; Them That Hasn't, Gets Screwed Them What Has Gets, Them What Gets Has Then, What You Gonna Do? 'Die! We're All Gonna Die!' [Tower Heist] Theodore The Meddler [Theodore Roosevelt] Theological Cemetery 135
Theories Are Better Than Explanations Theory Is Supported As Long As The Funds Are Theory Of Relativity Theory Of Relative Activity Theory Of Relatives Activity Therapist Plus A Little Dash Reveals ‘The-Rapist’ Therapist Who Sleeps With Patient Becomes ‘The-Rapist’ Therapist Who’s Impatient May Become ‘The-Rapist’ Therapist Who’s Inpatient In Hospital May Be ‘The-Rapist’ Therapy Is Expensive, Poppin' Bubble Wrap Is Cheap! You Choose! There Are A Lot Of Lies Going Around & Half Of Them Are True [Churchill] There Are An Enormous Number Of Managers Who Have Retired On The Job [Peter Drucker] There Are Always Good Reasons Available For Bad Result There Are Lies, Damned Lies & Real Estate Listings There Are Lies, Damned Lies & Statistics [Mark Twain] There Are Lug Nuts Rattling In Your Hubcaps There Are No Atheists In Fox Holes [William Thomas Cummings] There Are No Atheists In True Fox Holes, Only Animalists Of The Genus Vulpes (True Fox) There Are No Brand New Starts, Start From Now & Make A Brand New Ending' [Carl Bard] There Are No Eternal Facts, As There Are No Absolute Truths [Friedrich Nietzsche] There Are No Facts, Only Interpretations [Friedrich Nietzsche] There Are No Free Meals There Are No Free Meals If You Bite There Are No Gains Without Pains [Benjamin Franklin] There Are No New Sins, The Old Ones Are Still Serviceable There Are No Passengers On Spaceship Earth, We Are All Crew [Marshall Mcluhan] There Are No Rich, No Poor [Rand Paul] There Are No Rules Of Architecture For Castles In The Sky There Are No Secrets From A Doctor Or A Bathhouse Attendant There Are No Short Cuts To Any Place Worth Going There Are No Stupid Questions, But There Are A Lot Of Inquisitive Idiots There Are No Winners In Life, Only Temporary Survivors There Are People So Poor The Only Thing They Have Is Money There Are People Who Are Very Resourceful, At Being Remorseful [Ogden Nash] There Are Some Remedies Worse Than The Disease There Are Three Kinds Of People: Those Who Can Count & Those Who Can't There Are Three Sides To Every Argument: Your Side, My Side & The Right Side There Are Three Types Of People: Those Who Do, Those Who Watch, & Those Who Wonder There Are Two Rules For Success, The First Is Don't Tell All You Know… There Are Two Kinds Of Light, The Glow That Illumines & The Glare That Obscures [Thurber] There Are Two Kinds Of Pedestrians, The Quick & The Dead There Are Two Kinds Of People, Those Who Finish What They Start & So On… There Are Two Sides To Every Argument, But Yours Is Face Down In The Mud There Are Two Sides To Every Question There Are Two Sides To Every Question, My Side & The Wrong Side There Are Two Types, Those Who Divide People Into Two Types & Those Who Don't 136
There Are Two Theories To Arguing With A Woman - Neither Works! [Will Rogers] There Are Two Ways To Write Error-Free Programs, But Only The Third One Works There Are Workers & Those Who Take The Credit - Be The First, There's Less Competition There Aren't Any Embarrassing Questions - Just Embarrassing Answers [Carl Rowan] There But For The Grace Of God, Go I There But For The Grace Of God - Goes God [Winston Churchill] There Can Be No Rainbow Without A Cloud & A Storm There Can Be No Real Freedom Without The Freedom To Fail [Eric Fromm] There Can Be Only One! [Highlander] There Ought To Be Limits To Freedom [George W. Bush], NOT !!! There Ought To Be Limits To Yelling Fire In A Crowded Theater, YES !!! There Was A Ghost At The Hotel, So They Called For An Inn Spectre There Was Never A Bad Peace Or A Good War [Benjamin Franklin] There Was Never A Genius Without A Touch Of Madness [Aristotle] There Where Flowers Bloom, Many Bumblebees Are To Be Found There'll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight [1896] There’s A Charm About The Forbidden That Makes It Unspeakably Desirable [Mark Twain] There's A Fine Line Between Cuddling & Holding There's A Fine Line Between Cuddling & Holding Someone Down There's A Fine Line Between Fishing & Just Standing On The Shore Like An Idiot There's A Fine Line Between 'Hobby' & 'Mental Illness' There's A Freeway Where We Played Football In The Field [John Wesley Harding] There's A Great Difference Between Knowing A Thing & Understanding It There's A Lot More Juice In A Grapefruit Than Meets The Eye - Tissue, Please There's A Lot More To Me Than There Is To Me! Stop The World, I Wanna Get On! [Producers] There's A Man With An Open Mind - You Can Feel The Breeze From Here [Groucho Marx] There's A Musky Rotundity To His Wordiness There's A Place You Can Touch A Gal That'll Drive Her Crazy - Her Heart! [Melanie Griffith] There's A Shed Called Deer Creek, My 1 Critique No Creek Now & It’s Deer Free [Harding] There's A Solution To Every Problem, The Only Difficulty Is Finding It There's A Starbucks (Where The Starbucks Used To Be) [John Wesley Harding] There's A Strange Thing About Memory - Damned If I Can Remember What It Is There's A Tax On Sex, It's Called 'Children' There's A Theme Park In A Palace In Tennessee &Pylon That Was A Tree [John W. Harding] There's A Time & A Place For Everything There's A Useful Four Letter Word & You Are Full Of It [007 To Scaramanga] There's A Walgreen’s Where There Were No Walls, Just Greenery [John Wesley Harding] There's A Wocket In My Pocket! [Dr. Seuss] There's Absolutely No Substitute For A Genuine Lack Of Preparation There's Always A Bookie To Break The Law With There's Always A Law Under Which You Can Be Booked There's Always An Easier Way To Do It If You Could Just Think Of It There's Always An Easier Way, But If It Stared You In The Face You Won't See It There's Always Light At The End Of The Tunnel, A Train! There's Always More Fish In The Sea There's An Easier Way To Do It 137
There's An Exception To Every Rule There's Honor Among Thieves There's Many A Slip 'Twixt Cup & Lip There's More Than One Way to Peel a Banana - Top, Bottom, Middle, Squeeze - Plus… There's Never Time To Do It Right, But There's Always Time To Do It Over There's No Bad Beer, Some Kinds Are Better Than Others [German Proverb] There's No Cabal [Paradox] There's No Difference Between A Wise Man & A Fool When They Fall In Love There's No Direct Relationship Between Quality & Cost There's No Education Like Adversity [Disraeli] There's No End To A Virgin's Resistance Or To A Wife's Resentment There's No Expedient To Which A Man Will Not Go To Avoid Labor Of Thinking [Edison] There's No Failure Except In No Longer Trying [Hubbard] There's No Free Lunch There's No Future In Time Travel, It Got Past By There's No Future In Writing A History Book There's No Honor Among Thieves There's No Hopeless Situation, There Are Only People Who Have Given Up Hope There's No ‘I’ In Team (But By Transposition You Can Find ‘ Me’) There's No Leaping From Delilah's Lap Into Abraham's Bosom There's No Limit To What Can Be Accomplished If None Cares Who Gets Credit [J. Wooden] There's No One Alive Who’s You-er Than You! [Dr. Seuss] There's No One Giant Step That Does It, It Takes A Lot Of Little Steps [Peter A. Cohen] There's No Path To Happiness, Happiness Is The Path [Buddha] There's No Pillow So Soft As A Clear Conscience [French Proverb] There's No Place Like Home [The Wizard Of Oz, 1939] There's No Point In Being Grownup If You Can't Be Childish Sometimes There's No Point In Speaking Unless You Can Improve On Silence [Edmund Muskie] There's No Problem So Big It Can't Be Run Away From There's No Question … A Dictatorship Would Be A Heck Of A Lot Easier [George W. Bush] There's No Reason Anyone Would Want A Computer In Their Home [Ken Olson 1977] There's No Right Way To Do The Wrong Thing There's No Rose Without Thorns There's No Safety In Numbers, Except The Number Won There's No Safety In Numbers, Or In Anything Else There's No Sense Being Pessimistic, It Wouldn't Work Anyway There's No Sense Making Mistakes Unless You Learn From Them There's No Sincerer Love Than The Love Of Food [George Bernard Shaw] There's No Smoke Without Fire There's No Stupid Question, Just Stupid People There's No Substitute For Good Manners, Except, Perhaps, Fast Reflexes There's No Substitute For Mother's Milk [Martin H. Fischer] There's No Such Thing As A Little Garlic [A. Baer] There's No Such Thing As A Short Beer There's No Such Thing As A Stupid Question, Just Stupid People Who Ask Questions There's No Such Thing As An Absolute Truth That Is Absolutely True 138
There's No Such Thing As Non-Existence There's No Time Like The Pleasant There's No Time Like The Present There's No Time Like The Present, Except Perhaps The Past & The Future There's No Time Like The Present, Thank God For The Future! There's Not A Pretty Girl Without Fault, Not An Ugly One Without Charm There's Nothing More Uncommon Than Common Sense There's Nothing So Absurd But Some Philosopher Has Said It [Cicero] There's Nothing Stronger In The World Than Gentleness [Han Suyin] There's Nothing Worse Than Being A Doer With Nothing To Do [Elizabeth Layton] There’s Nothing Wrong With California That The San Andreas Fault Can’t Cure There's Nothing Wrong With Having Nothing To Say - Unless You Insist On Saying It There's Nothing Wrong With Making Mistakes, Just Don't Respond With Encores There's Nothing Wrong With Teenagers That Reasoning Won't Aggravate There's Nothing Wrong With The World That Shooting 99% Of The Population Wouldn't Cure There's Nothing Wrong With The Younger Generation That 20 Years Or So Won't Cure There's Nothing You Can Get From A Book That You Can't Get From TV Faster [Matilda 1996] There's Nowt So Queer As Folk There's One Born Every Minute There's One Constant With All New Diets, ‘French Fried Potatoes Are Out’ [Jean Kerr] There's One Thing Worse Than Being Alone, Wishing You Were [Bob Steele] There's Only One IF In Life - Between The L & The E There's Only One Perfect Child In The World & Every Mother Has It There's Only One Pretty Child In The World & Every Mother Has Her/Him There's Safety In Numbers, The Higher The Numbers Banked The Better There's Something Wrong With You If There's Nothing Wrong With You There's Too Much Blood In My Alcohol System [W.C. Field-Ish] There's Too Much Blood In My Caffeine System There's Wisdom Of The Head & There Is Wisdom Of The Heart [Charles Dickens] There's Worse In Life Than Death, Ever Been With Life Insurance Seller Betting On Your Death? Thermic Fever Thermodynamics Of Equilibrium Thermoelectric Thermometer Thesaurus, A Dinosaur With An Extensive Vocabulary Thesaurus, An Ancient Reptile With An Uncanny Vocabulary These Kids Couldn't Pass A Blood Test Without Cheating [Welcome Back, Kotter] These Kids Couldn't Pass A Blood Test Without Going Cold Turkey They Are Sick That Surfeit With Too Much, As They That Starve With Nothing [Shakespeare] They Call It 'PMS' Because 'Mad Cow Disease' Was Already Taken They Call Languages 'Mother Tongues', Because Fathers Seldom Get To Speak They Can Hum The Tune, But Can't Sing The Song They Can Make You Say Anything - Anything - But They Can't Make You Believe It [1984] They Can't Censor The Gleam In My Eye [Charles Laughton] They ‘Can't Put Anything on the Internet That Isn't True’ - Sez ‘The Internet’ [State Farm Adv] They Don't Call Me Tyrannosaurus Sex For Nothing [Ted Kennedy] They Grow Old Because They Quit Playing [Oliver Wendell Holmes] 139
They Say Hard Work Never Hurts Anybody, But Why Take The Chance They Say It's Not As Bad As They Say It Is They Stayed Away In Droves [Samuel Goldwyn] They Told Me I Was Gullible & I Believed Them! They Misunderestimated Me [George W. Bush] They Paved Paradise & Put Up A Parking Lot [Joni Mitchell - 'Big Yellow Taxi'] They Stood Alone, Frozen Statues On The Plain [Complexified Metaphor] They That Sow The Wind, Shall Reap The Whirlwind They Want You To Throw Your Common Sense Out The Window [Christopher Darden] They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa! ['To The Funny Farm!' - Napoleon XIV] Thick Film Thick, Primal, Blind Fog Descended Before His Eyes [Compound Metaphor] Thief Who Steels A Calendar Gets Twelve Months Thief’s Hat Burns [Afn Gonif Brennt Das Hittel] Timeshares, ‘Worth It? NO!!’ They're Like Fitness Clubs With Hugh Entry & Ongoing Fees Thin As Homeopathic Soup From Boiled Shadow Of Pigeon That Starved To Death [A. Lincoln] Thin Fat – Kids With Slow Metabolisms Leading To Medical Problems Similar To Obesity Thing About Joke With Double Meaning Is That It Can Only Mean One Thing [Ronnie Barken] Thing Done Wrong Often Enough, Becomes Right Thing Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well Thing Of Beauty Is A Joy Forever Thing Of Joy Is A Beauty Forever Thing Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well Thing Worth Doing Is Worth The Trouble Of Having Someone Else Do It Things Always Fall At Right Angles Things Are More Like They Are Now Than They Have Ever Been Things Are More Like They Are Now Than They Ever Were Before Things Are More Like They Used To Be Than They Are Now Things Are Not As Quickly Achieved As Conceived Things Are On One Moment & Off The Next Things Are Precisely As They Are Things Aren't Like They Used To Be... & They Never Were Things Could Be Worse! Things Don't Happen, Things Are Made To Happen [John F. Kennedy] Things Don't Have To Change The World To Be Important [Steve Jobs] Things Equal To Nothing Else Are Equal To Each Other Things Get Worse Under Too Much Pressure Things I Love Are The Things I Hate [Primal Fear] Things Past Redress & Now With Me Past Care [Shakespeare] Things Ripple [Harlan Coben] Things That Bring Joy Come From Those Which Bring Pain Things Will Not Calm Down, Daniel Jackson, They Will In Fact Calm Up! [Stargate SG1] Things Left Alone Tend To Go From Bad To Worse & With Intervention Tend To Worsen Things May Fall Apart So Better Things Can Fall Together [Marilyn Monroe] Things May Fall Apart So Carry A Screwdriver Things May Fall Apart So I Collected Screws [M. Monroe Repartee] 140
Things May Happen & Often Do To People As Brainy & Footsy As You [Dr. Seuss] Things Should Be Made As Simple As Possible, But Not Any Simpler [Albert Einstein] Things That Are Done, It Is Needless To Speak About [Kong-Fu-Tse [Confucius] 551-479BC] Things That Are Past, It Is Needless To Blame [Kong-Fu-Tse [Confucius] 551-479BC] Things That Are So Serious You Can Only Joke About Them [Heisenbeg] Things That Bring Joy Come From Those Which Bring Pain Things That Bring Joy Come From Those Which Bring Pain, Muttered The New Mother Things Turn Out Best For Those Who Make The Best Of The Way Things Turn Out Things Will Get Worse Before They Get Better Things Will Get Worse Before They Get Better, But Who Said Things Will Get Better? Things Work Better If You Plug Them In Things You Can Just Run Away From Like A Hotel Bill Or Crying Baby Think & Wonder, Wonder & Think [Dr. Seuss] Think For Yourselves & Let Others Enjoy The Privilege To Do So, Too [Voltaire] Think Inside The Box [Security Equals Innovation - Wall Street Journal] Think Left & Right, Low & High; ‘The Thinks You Can Think Up If Only You Try!’ [Dr Seuss] Think Like A Man Of Action, Act Like A Man Of Thought [Henri Bergson] Think Much, Speak Little, Write Less Think Of The Worst, Wish For The Best Think Outside The Box Think Outside The Box [Risk Equals Innovation] Think Outside The Box, But Don't Forget To Also Think Inside The Box Think Positive Leaders Only Listen To Subordinates' Premonitions During Postmortems Think Things Through Before You’re Through Thinking Think Yiddish, Dress British - Dad Always Said [Scott Simon] Thinking Is Easy, Acting Is Difficult [Goethe] Thinking Is When Your Mouth Stays Shut & Your Head Keeps Talking To Itself Thinking Or ‘Merely Rearranging Their Prejudices’? [William James] Thinking Out Thinking Out Loud Thinking Outside The Box Thinking Soldier Thinly Sliced Cabbage [Cole's Law] Third Class Personality Third Degree Third Estate [Common People] Third Eye Third Eye Blindness Third Eye Monocles Third Eye Spectacles Third Hand On Watch Is Second Hand Third Time Lucky Thirty Day Mini-Jumbo CD Thirty Mile Expert This Appointment Deprives A Village Of Its Idiot This Day Was A Total Waste Of Makeup 141
This Dumb Blonde Ain't Nobody's Fool [Dolly Parton] This Final Report Is Filled With Omissions & Redactions This Is A Day For Firm Decisions ! Or Is It ? This Is Impossible, But 'Only If You Believe It Is' [Alice-Mad Hatter] This Is Land Of The Free Only So Long As It Is The Home Of The Brave [Elmer Davis WWII] This Is My Rifle This Is My Gun, This Is For Shooting This Is For Fun This Is Not Brain Surgery - This Is Common Sense [Ken Mceldowney] This Is Not Fox News, its Reality [Bill Maher] This Is The First Day To Rescue Your Life This Is The First Day To The Rest Of Your Life This Is The Fun-Vee, The Hum-Drum-Vee Is Back There [Iron Man] This Is The Last Day Of Your Former Life This Is The Sort Of Pedantry Up With Which I Will Not Put [Winston Churchill] This Is True & That Is False, 'But There Are No Certainties' [H.L. Mencken] This Isn't An Office, It's Hell With Fluorescent Lighting This Love Feel I, That Feel No Love In This [Shakespeare] This Music Won't Do. There's Not Enough Sarcasm In It [Samuel Goldwyn] This Page Intentionally Left Blank This Page ‘Intentionally Left Blank’ Is Printed On It, So Is It Really Blank? This Report Is Filled With Omissions This Sentence Contradicts Itself, No Actually It Doesn’t, Does It? This Sentence Is A Lie [Paradox] This Side Up This Side Up Acrobatics This Staff Is A Distaff Staff This Stammer Got My Home In Beverly Hills & I Won’t Screw With It Now [Bob Newhart] This Statement Is A Lie! [Provable?] This Statement Is Unprovable? [Prove It!] This Tape Will Self-Destruct In 5 Seconds [Mission Impossible] This Too, Shall Pass This Week, ABC's Political Talk Show Ended Its Amour With Christiane Amanpour [1/8/12] This Week, ABC's Political Talk Show Stepped Back To George Stephanopoulos [1/8/12]] This Will Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You This Will Hurt You More Than It Hurts Me This Won't Hurt, I Promise This Would Be Really Funny If It Wasn't Happening To Me Thompson, Larry D., US Deputy Attorney General, In 2002 On 9/11/01 As Observed To FBA: *We Must Not Change Essential Character Of Our Country. If We Do Bad Guys Have Won [!!!] *We May Think Outside Of The Box, But Not Outside Of The Constitution [!!!] *Our Actions Have Been In Sunlight [???] & Are Subject To Judicial Review [!!!] Thong Bikinis Were Going For Fifty Dollars A Crack! Thor: ‘I'm Thor! I'm Thor!’ His Horse: ‘Of Course, You're Thor & You Forgot Your Thaddle!’ Thoroughly Modern Millie [Circa 1922] Thesaurus, Ancient Reptile With An Uncanny Vocabulary Those Drinking To Forget Please Pay In Advance Those In Cheaper Seats Clap, The Rest Of You Rattle Your Jewelry [John Lennon] 142
Those Not Counted Have Taken Leave Of Their Census Those Pushing Their Religious Views On You Aren't Interested In Yours Those Too Big For Their Britches Are Exposed In The End Those Traveling The Shortest Distance Invariably Arrive Latest Those We Hurt The Most Are Often Those We Love The Most Those Who Aim At Great Deeds Must Suffer Greatly [Crassus] Those Who Avoid Past Errors Will Find New Ways To Err Those Who Build Roofs Are So Inclined, Except If Its A Flat Roof ... Those Who Can Do Those Who Cannot Teach [H. L. Mencken] Those Who Can't Change Their Minds Can't Change Anything [George Bernhard Shaw] Those Who Can't Laugh At Themselves Leave The Job To Others Those Who Can’t Remember The Past Are Condemned To Repeat It [George Santayana] Those Who Confess Ignorance Show It Once, Those Who Conceals It Shows It Many Times Those Who Create Are Rare, Those Who Cannot Are Numerous [Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel] Those Who Criticize Our Generation Forget Who Raised Them Those Who Forget The Past Are Condemned To Relive It Those Who Forget The Pasta Are Condemned To Reheat It Those Who Mind Don't Matter & Those Who Matter Don't Mind [Dr. Suess] Those Who Can't Teach Administrate Those Who Dance Are Thought Insane By Those Who Can't Hear The Music [George Carlin] Those Who Deny Freedom To Others, Deserve It Not For Themselves [Abraham Lincoln] Those Who Do Most, Dream Most [Stephen Leacock] Those Who Do Not Learn From History Are Doomed To Repeat It Those Who Do Nothing Are Never Wrong Those Who Don't Study The Past Will Repeat Its Errors Those Who Expect The Biggest Tips Provide The Worst Service Those Who Flee Temptation Generally Leave A Forwarding Address [Lane Olinghouse] Those Who Forget The Pasta Are Doomed To Reheat It Those Who Hate You Don't Win Unless You Hate Them & Thus Destroy Yourself [Nixon] Those Who Know, Do; Those Who Understand, Teach [Aristotle] Those Who Live By The Sword Die Skewered! Those Who Live By The Sword Get Shot By Those Who Don't Those Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones Those Who Look Only To Past Or Present Are Certain To Miss The Future [John F. Kennedy] Those Who Lose Dreaming Are Lost [Australian Aboriginal Proverb] Those Who Mind Don't Matter & Those Who Matter Don't Mind [Dr. Seuss] Those Who Mind Your Quirks Don't Matter & Those Who Matter Don't Mind [Dr. Suess] Those Who Play Team Sports Have A Ball Those Who Say They Sleep Like A Baby Haven't Got One Those Who See Psychiatrists Ought To Have Their Heads Examined [Samuel Goldwyn] Those Who Sleep With Dogs Will Rise With Fleas Those Who Speak Don't Know &Those Who Know Don't Speak [Toby Ziegler] Those Who Steal Trains Have A Loco-Motive Those Who Surrender A Little Freedom For Security Deserve Neither [Benjamin Franklin] Those Who Think It's Impossible Shouldn't Interrupt Those Who Are Doing It Those Who Think They Know Everything Greatly Annoy Those Who Do [Isaac Asimov] 143
Those Who Vote Decide Nothing, Those Who Count Vote Decide Everything [Joseph Stalin] Those Whose Approval You Seek The Most Give It To You The Least Those With No Vices Are 'Going To Have Some Pretty Annoying Virtues' [Elizabeth Taylor] Those With The Best Advice Often Offer No Advice Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery So Long As Thou Partner Remains Giving Though She Was Only A Whisky Maker He Loved Her Still Thought I Wanted A Career, Turns Out I Just Wanted Pay Checks Thought Is Free [William Shakespeare] Thought You Might Want Some Extra Seamen On Your Poopdeck [Peter Griffin] Thoughtcrime Does Not Entail Death, Thoughtcrime Is Death [1984] Thoughtcrime Is An Illegal Type Of Thought, Any One Not Approved By The Party [1984] Thoughtless Thoughts Become Things Thoughts Become Things, If You See It In Mind You Will Hold It In Your Hand [Bob Proctor] Thoughts Of Youth Are Long, Long Thoughts [Henry Wadsworth Longfellow] Thousand Words Are Worth A Picture & They Load Faster, Too Thousand Year Reich [First Reich - Charlemagne 800-814 + Holy Roman Empire 962-1806] Thousand Year Reich [Second Reich - Hohenzollern Emperors 1871-1918] Thousand Year Reich [Third Reich 1933 -1945] - Lasted Twelve Years Threatening Benevolence [Moss Hart] Three May Keep A Secret, If Two Of Them Are Dead [Benjamin Franklin] Three Originals Three Out Of Four Americans Make Up 75% Of The Population Three Out Of Four Americans Make Out Making 75% Of The Population, More Or Less Three Parts To These Exercises, Fourth Part Is D-Parture! Three Women Can Keep A Secret, If Two Are Dead Threadless Screws Threads For Screwing Threatening Is Often More Profitable Than Doing Three Cheers For Our Queer Old Dean! [Dear Old Queen] Three Hundred Sixty Degree Thinking Three Ingredients In The Good Life: Learning, Earning, & Yearning [Christopher Morley] Three Originals Three Sheets To The Wind Three Sorts Of Guys: Doers, Watches & The Clueless Three Words Sum Up Everything I've Learned About Life: 'It Goes On' [Robert Frost] Three Words You Don’t Want To Hear Or Feel During Sex - Is THAT It? Throw Anything Away & You Will Soon Need It Throw Momma From The Train Throw Momma From The Train, A Kiss, A Kiss Throw Momma From The Train, The Matricidal Son Screamed Throw Salt In His Eyes, Pepper In His Nose Throw Your Heart Over The Fence &The Rest Will Follow [Norman Vincent Peale] Throwing Light Is A Complexified Metaphor Compared To ‘Shining Light’ On The Problem Thrown Under The Bus Thuggery, Looting, Lawlessness Rampant, But Not In Middle East, In England [2011] 144
Thumb Typist Refused to Hitchhike Fearing Thumb Strain Thundering Silently Thunderous Silence Ti - A Drink With Jam & Bread Tiananmen Square means Square of Heavenly Peace & Tahrir Square Liberation Square Tiananmen Square, Situs of Chinese Protests & Massacre [April 15-June 4, 1989] Tiananmen Square (1989) To Tahrir Square (2011) To Square Deal For Humanity ( 2???) ? Tick Tock Ticketmaster Tickle The Soil With A Hoe & It Will Laugh A Harvest [Thomas Bailey] Tickle The Soldier With A Hoe & It Will Laugh Into His Harvey Wallbanger Tide Comes In & The Tide Goes Out, But What Have You Got? Tide Comes In & The Tide Goes Out, So What? Tides Are A Fight Between The Earth & The Moon Tide's In, Dirt's Out Tidy Desk Is Sign Of Cluttered Desk Drawers Tidy Desk Is Sign Of Nothing Happening! Tidy Desk Is Sign Of Tidy Mind Tie One On Tie One On: To Don A Neck Tie After Encounters With Bloody Mary &Tom Collins Tiger Fish Tiger Shark Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says [David Kravets AP Wire – See Clip At End] Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Obama Plays With Tiger Woods Tight Dress Like Barbed Fence Protects Premises Without Restricting View Tight Slacks Tighten Loosely Tighty Whities Tighty Whities Are Snuggly Supportive; Boxers Are Loosy Goosy Tilting At Windmills Hurts You More Than The Windmills Time & Tide Wait For No Man Time Between Slipping On Peel & Hitting Pavement Is One Bananosecond Time Flies Time Flies Like An Arrow, Fruit Flies Like A Banana [Calculation Of Trajectory] Time Flies Like Arrow, Fruit Flies Like Banana [Fruit Fly Yum-Yum] Time For Firm Decisions! - Or Is It? Time For Us To Shine Time Heals All Wounds Time Is A Great Healer Time Is A Great Healer, But A Terrible Beautician Time Is A Great Teacher, But Unfortunately It Kills All Its Pupils [Hector Berlioz] Time Is Always Right To Do The Left Thing Time Is Always Right To Do The Right Thing/What Is Right [Martin Luther King Jr] Time Is Like Money, It Can Be Either Spent, Wasted, Or Invested! Time Is Money Time Is Money, Money In Time 145
Time Is Nature's Way Of Keeping All From Happening At Once Time Is Never Wasted When You Are Wasted All The Time Time Is Nothing, Timing Is All Time Is Only Capital Anyone Has & What He Can Afford To Waste Or Lose Least [Edison] Time Is What Keeps Everything From Happening All At Once Time Machine Is Late Time May Be A Great Healer, But It's A Lousy Beautician Time To Begin Most Things Is Ten Years Ago [Mignon McLaughlin] Time To Hit The Button! [Iron Man] Time To Repair The Roof Is When The Sun Is Shining [John F. Kennedy] Time Travelers [H. G. Wells] Time Warp Time Will Tell Time Won't Give Me Time! Time Wounds All Heels [Groucho Marx] Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Never Wasted [John Lennon] Timeshare Investment Timeless Moment Timely Delayed Times, They Are A-Changin’ Timeshare Investment Timing Has An Awful Lot To Do With The Outcome Of A Rain Dance Timing, The Minute You Opt In Is The Minute She Opts Out Tin Whistles Are Made Of Tin, Shouldn't Fog Horns Be Made Of Fog? Tinker, Tenker, Tinkar: Travelling Tinsmith, Producer & Repairer Of Household Objects Tinker’s Dam, Small Worthless Wall Of Dough Used To Hold Solder In Place To Harden Tinker’s Damn, Considered Worthless As Tinkers Were Reputed To Swear Habitually Tinkle Tinkle, Tinkle Little Star, But Do Not Do It In The Car Tinkling Cisticolas* Tiny [Bush II For Deputy Secretary Of State Richard Armitage] Tiny Elephant Tiny Mountain Tiny Radish Of Passionate Scarlet, Tipped Modestly In White [Clementine Paddleford] Tiny Tank Tio Tomas: Hispanics Who Learn English & Are Serious About Their Studies Tip & Ty [Tippecanoe & Tyler Too] Tip Toe Tippecanoe [William Henry Harrison] Tippecanoe & Tyler Too Tippecanoe & Tyler Too, 1840 Whig Party Ditty To Minstrelsy Tune ‘Little Pigs’ Tippecanoe & Tyler Too Refers To Tippecanoe Hero Wm. Henry Harrison & John Tyler, Too Tippecanoe Battle Was 1811 Tipping Of The Native American Confederacy's Canoe Tipping Point, Critical Moment When Idea Or Thing Triggers A Significant Change Tire Is Only Flat On The Bottom Tis Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Marry A Woman You Can't Defrost 146
Tis Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Never To Have Lost At All [Samuel Butler] Tis Better To Have Loved & Lost Than Never To Have Loved At All Tis More Fun To Ask Then To Answer Tis Strange - But True, For Truth Is Always Strange; Stranger Than Fiction [Lord Byron] Tis True, 'Tis Pity, & Pity 'Tis 'Tis True [Poloniouius] Titanium Woods Golf Clubs Titin, 5 Letter With Chemical Name Of 189,819 Letters - Largest Known Protein & Word Titles Do Not Honor Men, Men Honor Titles [Niccolo Machiavelli] Titmouse* Tits* Titty, Titty, Bang, Bang To A Smart Girl Men Are No Problem -- They're The Answer [Zsa Zsa Gabor] To Accomplish Great Things, We Must Not Only Act, But Also Dream [Anatole France] To Accomplish Great Things, We Must Not Only Plan, But Also Believe [Anatole France] To Achieve Happiness ... Is To Have Either A Clear Conscience Or None At All [Nash] To Appreciate Your Job Imagine Yourself Without One [Oscar Wilde] To Avoid Being Called A Flirt, She Always Yielded Easily [Charles, Count Talleyrand] To Avoid Criticism Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Be Nothing [Elbert Hubbard] To Be A Mystery Yet Be Known; To Be A Wanderer, Yet Have A Home To Be A Mystery Yet Be Known; To Be Together, Yet Alone; To Be Famous Yet Unknown To Be A Success In Business Be Daring, Be First, Be Different [Henry Marchant 1789] To Be At One With Myself I Must Be Two To Be Awake Is To Be Alive [Henry David Thoreau] To Be Blind Is Bad, But Worse Is To Have Eyes & Not See [Helen Keller] To Be Brave Yet Not Brave To Be Great Is To Be Misunderstood [Ralph Waldo Emerson] To Be Happy With A Man You Must Understand Him A Lot & Love Him A Little To Be Happy With A Woman You Must Love Her A Lot & Not Try To Understand Her At All To Be Healthy Eat & Drink What You Don't Want & Do What You'd Rather Not [Mark Twain] To Be Ignorant Of One's Ignorance Is The Malady Of The Ignorant [Bronson Alcott] To Be Intoxicated Is To Feel Sophisticated But Not Be Able To Say It To Be Is To Do [Roseau, Nietzsche, Sartre, Kant, Voltaire, Plato, William Blake &/Or?] To Be Or Not To Be [Shakespeare - Hamlet] To Be Or Not To Be A Lawyer Must You Sue? [Barry J. Lipson] To Be Or Not To Be, That Is The Question [Shakespeare - Hamlet] To Be, Or Not To Be, Those Are The Parameters To Be Right, You Must Remain Willing To Be Wrong, & To Change [Don Daniels] To Be Seventy Years Young Is Far More Cheerful Than To Be 40 Years Old [O. W. Holmes, Jr] To Be Seventy Years Young Is Far More Hopeful Than To Be 40 Years Old [O. W. Holmes, Jr] To Be Shot At & Missed Is Elating To Be Simple Is To Be Great [Ralph Waldo Emerson] To Be Sure Of Hitting The Target, Shoot First & Whatever You Hit Call It The Target To Be Willing To Admit Faults, Is To Have One Less Fault To Admit To Be Wise Just Think Of Something Stupid To Say & Say The Opposite [Sam Levenson] To Be Wronged Is Nothing Unless You Continue To Remember It To Beat The Bureaucracy Make Your Problem Their Problem 147
To Believe A Thing Is Impossible Is To Make It So [French Proverb] To Build Character & Courage You Must Foster Initiative & Independence To Catch A Bra, Set A Boobie Trap To Catch A Unique Rabbit Unique Up On It; To Catch A Tame Rabbit Do It The Tame Way! To Change Our Lives, We Must First Change Our Minds To Choose A Good Book, Look In An Inquisitor’s Prohibited List [John Aikin] To Circumcise A Whale, Send Down Four Skin Divers To Conquer Without Risk Is To Triumph Without Glory [Pierre Corneille] To Do Is To Be [Russell, Hegel, Shakespeare, Socrates, Descartes, Nietzsche &/Or?] To Do Nothing Is Sometimes A Good Remedy [Hippocrates] To Eat Is Human; To Digest, Divine [Mark Twain] To Educate In Mind & Not In Morals Is To Educate A Menace To Society [T. Roosevelt] To Err Is Human, But It Feels Divine [Mae West] To Err Is Human, But To Really Foul Up Requires A Computer [Paul Ehrlich] To Err Is Human, But To Really Screw Things Up Requires A Computer To Err Is Human, But When The Eraser's Gone You're Overdoing It To Err Is Human, To Blame It On A Computer Even More So To Err Is Human, To Blame Someone Else Is Politics To Err Is Human, To Forgive Devine [Alexander Pope] To Err Is Human, To Forgive Is Against Company Policy To Err Is Human, To Forgive Is Highly Unlikely To Err Is Human, To Forgive Requires Payment To Err Is Human. To Moo Is Bovine To Err Is Human, To Repent Divine, To Persist Devilish [Benjamin Franklin] To Err Is Humor To Escape Criticism Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Be Nothing [Sgt Schultz' Credo] To Every Thing There Is A Season To Find The Limits Of The Possible Go Beyond Them To The Impossible To Forgive Calls Upon Our Love, To Forget Calls Upon Our Strength To Generalize Is To Be An Idiot [William Blake] To Get A Loan You Must First Prove You Don't Need It To Get A Wife Is Fun, But, For The Devil, Try To Live With Her To Get Along Go Along To Get It Done Do It Yourself, Hire Someone To Do It Or Forbid Your Kids To Do It To Get Woman's Undivided Attention Tell Her What's None Of Her Business To Gild Refined Gold, To Paint The Lily [Shakespeare] To Gild The Lily [Faux Shakespeare] To Give Happiness Is To Deserve Happiness To Give Up Reforming Society Is To Give Up One's Free Man’s Responsibility [Alan Paton] To Go Beyond Is As Wrong As To Fall Short [Kong-Fu-Tse [Confucius] 551-479BC] To Have More, Desire Less To Hell, To Hell With Pennsylvania, To Hell With The U. Of P. - P. U. To Ignore The Facts, Does Not Change Them To Infinity & Beyond To Invent, You Need A Good Imagination & A Pile Of Junk [Thomas Edison] To Iterate Is Human, To Recurse Divine 148
To Keep A Lamp Burning We Have To Keep Putting Oil Into It [Mother Teresa] To Kill A Circus Troupe Go For The Juggler To Kill A Mockingbird [Black & White In The Deep South] To Kill A Mockingbird For Mocking A Killingbird To Kill Any Idea In The World Today Get A Committee Working On It To Know A Woman, Study Her Mother To Know What Is Right & Not Do It Is The Worst Cowardice [Confucius] To Laugh At People Of Sense Is The Privilege Of Fools To Lead The People, Walk Behind Them [Lao-Tzu] To Learn Rope Tricks You Have To Be Taut To Live A Creative Life We Must Lose Our Fear Of Being Wrong [Joseph Chilton Pearce] To Live Is To Die [Metallica] To Lose Is To Learn To Love Is To Receive A Glimpse Of Heaven [Karen Sunde] To Love Oneself Is The Beginning Of A Lifelong Romance [Oscar Wilde] To Make A Long Story Short, Don't Tell It To Make An Apple Pie From Scratch You Must First Create The Universe [Carl Sagan] To Make An Apple Pie From Scratch You Must First Plant The Corn, That ‘Amaizing’ Corn To Make An Enemy, Do Someone A Favor To Make Egg Roll, Push It! To Make Your Dreams Come True First Thing You Have To Do Is Wake Up [J.M. Power] To Mock A Killingbird [Lost Faux Episode Of Batman Vs Penguin] To Mock A Killingbird [Pariah Album] To My Embarrassment I Was Born In Bed With A Lady [Wilson Mizner] To Pee Or Not To Pee To Please Pharaoh, Sail Boat Of Fishnet Clad Girls Past Him & Urge Him To Fish [1600BC] To Prevent Someone Getting Your Goat Keep Her Hidden To Produce A-Flat Minor Drop A Piano Down A Mineshaft To Refuse Praise Is To Seek Praise Twice To Rid Yourself Of Darkness Simply Increasing The Light To Same Natural Effects We Must, So Far As Possible, Assign Same Causes [Isaac Newton] To Scratch One's Watch Or Wind One's Butt? To Sea Or Not To Sea To Sea Or Not To See Sea To See How The Ball Bounces You Gotta Drop The Ball First! To See How The Ball Bounces You Gotta Have The Balls To Drop The Ball First! To See Or Not To See To See Sea Or Not To See To See Seed Or To Secede To Silence Criticism Is To Silence Freedom [Sidney Hook] To Sing & To Talk –To Have No End Of Trouble [Hobn Tsu Zingen Un Tsu Zogen] To Sink Or Swim; Live Or Die; Survive Or Perish With My Country [John Adams] To Solve Problems Dig At Roots, Don't Hack At Leaves To Start With ‘Unlimited Freedom Is To End Up With Unlimited Despotism’ [Philip Rahv] To Steal Ideas From One Person Is Plagiarism, To Steal From Many Is Research To Stop A Charging Bull Takes Away His Credit Card 149
To Succeed It Is Necessary To Accept The World As It Is & Rise Above It [Michael Korda] To Succeed In Politics, It Is Often Necessary To Rise Above Your Principles To Succeed Or To Secede To Sue Or Not To Sue, That Is The Question? [BARRY J. Lipson] To Take Counsel As Well As To Give Counsel Is A Virtue To Talk Goodness Is Not Good, Only To Do It Is To Teach Preview, Teach, Summarize To Teach Is To Learn To Teach Is To Learn A Second Time To Teach Is To Learn Twice To The F---Pit, I Claim Topsies [Colbert Parodying Romney] To The Man Who Feels Life Is A Comedy, To The Man Who Thinks Life Is A Tragedy To The Victor Go The Spoils To The World You May Be But One, But To One You May Be The World To Travel Hopefully Is A Better Thing Than To Arrive To Understand The Simple Is Not At All Simple To Vacillate Or Not To Vacillate, That Is The Question ... Or Is It? To Watch The World Pass You By Drive At The Speed Limit To You I’m An Atheist; To God, I’m The Loyal Opposition [Woody Allen] Toastally Awesome! [Cinnamon Toast Crunch Ad] Toaster Is Apology For Quality Of Our Packaged Bread, Each Piece A Tragedy [Arthur Berge] Today I Am A Man -- On Monday I Return To The Seventh Grade [Haiku] Today I Shall Behave As If This Is The Day I Will Be Remembered [Dr. Seuss] Today I Sniffed Many Dog Behinds. I Celebrate By Kissing Your Face [Dog Haiku] Today, If You Are Not Confused You Are Just Not Thinking Clearly [Irene Peter] Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of This Mess Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life, Then What The Hell Was Yesterday? Today Is The Tomorrow You Worried About Yesterday Today Is Your Day! Your Mountain Is Waiting So ‘Get On Your Way’ [Dr. Seuss] Today, Mild Shvitzing -- Tomorrow, So Hot You'll Plotz -- 5 Day Forecast--Feh [Haiku] Today Only $75 off Upcoming CLE Webinars, Tomorrow It’ll Be $100 Off! Today Only $75 off Upcoming CLE Webinars, Tomorrow It’ll Be Back Up To Regular Price Today Was Good, Today Was Fun, Tomorrow Is Another One [Dr. Seuss] Today We're Younger Than We Ever Gonna Be [Regina Spektor] Today’s A Gift, That's Why It’s Called The Present Today’s Children Would Be Less Spoiled If We Could Spank Grandparents! Today's Luxury Is Tomorrow's Necessity Today's Mighty Oak Is Yesterday's Nut That Held Its Ground Toddler Charged With Resisting A Rest Toe Cheese Toe Jam Toe The Line Toecap Toeing The Mark Toffee Hauling Railroad Runs A Chew Chew Train Toilet Is ‘Only Place You Can Be Alone & Sit Quietly,’ Whatever It’s Called [Masahiro Iguchi]: 150
*Toilet: Biffy, Bog, Boopery, Bowl, Buttholder, Can, Choo, Chunder Box, Comfort Station *Toilet: Commode, Confessional, Convenience, Crapper, Crane, Dunny, Facilities, Head, Hopper *Toilet: John, Long Drop, Necessarium, Necessary, Netty, Oval Office, Porcelain Throne, Po *Toilet: Poop Depository, Pot, Potty, Privy, Privvie, Reading Seat, Shitter, Seat, Squatter *Toilet: Stool Stool, Think N' Stink, Thunder Box, Toilet, Throne, Water Closet, W.C., Et Al. Toilet Nirvana, Japanese Masters Get Closer [New York Times] *Toilet That Controls Heating & Air Conditioning, While Also Flipping Its Lid *Toilet That Glows In Dark & Whirs Up Lid Upon Person's Approach *Toilet That Plays Sounds Of Chirping Birds, Rushing Water, Tinkling Chimes & Harp *Toilet That Upon The Voice Command ‘Open Sesame' Raises It’s Lid *Toilet That Washes & Massage The Buttocks, With Adjustable Spray & Temperature *Toilet That 'WellYouII's,' It Automatically Measures Urine Sugar Levels *Toilet That Yields Digital Measurement Of Body-Fat Ratio Toilet Pre-Nirvana, That Retains The Quaintness Of The Old-Style Japanese Squat Toilet Toilet Seat Should Be Up After Usage … More Hygienic [Nairaland Forum] Toilets Out Of Order, Please Use Floor Below Toilets Out Of Order, Please Use Floor Below, Don’t Aim At Ceiling! Told Auto-Parts Guy I Wanted Windshield Wiper For My Yugo & He Accepted The Deal! Told Doctor I Broke Leg In 2 Places: ‘So Quit Going To Those Places’ [Henny Youngman] Told To Sleep On My Problem Which Was Insomnia Told Wife Husband Like Fine Wine Gets Better With Age, So She Locked Me In The Cellar Tolerant Liberal Tolerant Progressive Tolerant Zealot Toll Free Toll Troll Tolls For High Road Can’t With Safety Be The Property Of Private Persons’ [Adam Smith] Tom Being Frank Said 'I Have A Split Personality' Tom Corbett, Space Cadet, Re-Surfaces At PA Governor’s Mansion Tom Fool - Tom A Stereotypical Male Given Name & Fool For Foolish Behavior Tom Long - ‘A Person Who Takes A Long Time To Tell A Story’ Tomfoolery: Foolish, Silly, Senseless Behavior Like That Of ‘Tom Fool’ Tomorrow Belongs To The People Who Prepare For It Today [African Proverb] Tomorrow Is Another Day Tomorrow Is Often The Busiest Day Of The Week Tomorrow Is The Only Day In The Year That Appeals To A Lazy Man [Jimmy Lyons] Tomorrow Never Comes Tomorrow, One Of The Greatest Labor Saving Devices Of Today Tomorrow Starts Now! Tomorrow Today Tomorrow Will Be Canceled Due To Lack Of Interest Tomorrow’s Headlines Today Tomorrow’s News Today Tone Color Tone Deaf Chinese Band's Only Composition Was Called ‘Too Ning’ Tongue Bucket [Bleeped On tosh.O] 151
Tongue Bucket – Butcher’s Holding Bin Or Human Orifice? If Second, Which One? Tongue Is Like A Sharp Knife, Killing Without Drawing Blood [Buddha] Tongue Is The Strongest Muscle In The Body NOT, It Is Actually Eight Muscles Tongue Is The Strongest Muscle Of A Nagging Wife Delivering The Knockout Blow Tongueless Frog [Xenopus Laevis] Tongues Must Be Heavy Indeed, As So Few People Can Hold Them Too Ambitious For Your Own Good Too Bad Too Bad Sponge Bob Is Not Here To Celebrate Sponge Bob Not Being Here! [Squidward] Too Big Too Big For Your Own Britches Too Big To Bail? - AIG Former CEO Thanks US By Suing US Over US Bailout Of AIG Too Big To Fail Too Big To Fail Is A Failure Of The Checks & Balances Of American Capitalism [BJL] Too Big To Fail, The Roman Empire & The Third Reich! Too Big To Fail, The Six Foot Six, 300 Pound School Yard Bully! Too Big To Fail, Too Risky To Exist Too Big To Jail Is Just Too Big To Exist! [BJL] Too Big To Jail - Though How Do You Jail A Non-Corporeal Legal Fiction? [BJL] Too Big To Jail – Use Capital Punishment – Lift Its Charter! [BJL] Too Big To Manage, To Regulate, To Understand & To Exist [Phil Angelides] Too Big To Manage, To Regulate, To Understand & To Exist, But Not To Exit Too Big To Prosecute [HSBC] Too Big To Stomach Too Big To Eat Too Frail To Fail Too Generous Too Low, Too Slow, Too Late [Jim Tilmon - Asiana Airlines Flight 214] Too Many Broths Spoil The Cook Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth Too Many Cooks Spoil The Brothel [Polly Adler] Too Many Freaks, Not Enough Circuses Too Much Chlorine Was Added To Your Gene Pool Too Much Healthy Choice Is Unhealthy! Too Much Arousal Can Bring On A Hard-Attack Too Much Of A Good Thing Can Be Just Too Much! Too Much Of A Good Thing Can Be Wonderful [Mae West] Too Much Of Anything Is Bad, But Too Much Champagne Is Just Right [Mark Twain] Too Much Of Anything Is Undesirable Too Much Of Everything Is Just Enough Too Much Porking Leaves Earmarking Too Risky To Exist Too Vainglorious For His Britches Toolbox Tom Toothache, The Pain That Drives You To Extraction Tooth's Plural Is Teeth, Why Isn't The Plural Of Booth, Beeth? Top 100 152
Top Floor Top Rail #1 [First Class] Top Side Topless Magicianess Conjured Up Wardrobe Malfunction Topless Magician Had Nothing Up Her Sleeve, Or Did She? Topless Pizza Lunch In ‘Las Vegas Is Everyman's Cut-Rate Babylon’ [Alistair Cooke] Torahfied Bar Mitzvah Boy Tort Committed While Holding Taut To What Was Taught Tort Criminal Too Toshiba - 'Ello, Tosh, Got As Toshiba? Toss Of The Dice Total Absence Of Humor Renders Life Impossible [Colette] Total Percentage Total Quality Management Total Recall [The Governator, If I Totally Recall Correctly - 1990] Totalitarian Democracy Totally Impartial Totally Partial Toto, I've Got A Feeling We're Not In Kansas Anymore [The Wizard Of Oz, 1939] Tortoise Called 'Tortoise Because He Taught Us' [Alice-Mock Turtle] Tortoise Taught Us 'Reeling & Writhing, Of Course, To Begin With' Tortoise Then Taught Arithmetic Branches – ‘Ambition, Distraction, Uglification & Derision’ Touch Base If You Get A Birdie Touch Chuchu Muyu Seed & You Grow Breasts [Ecuadorian Milky Fluided Seed] Touch Dic [Korean Dictionary Software] Touch-Less Car Wash, Rockville, MD [Sure We Miss Spots But We Touch Less!] Touché, Touché, Do Not Touch My Touché/‘Tushay’ [NCIS: Los Angeles]* Touchy Feelie Tough Love Threatening Benevolence [Moss Hart] Tough Times Don't Last - Tough People Do! [Elementary] Tough Titty Toughest Business Is Minding Your Own Tour De France Cycling Race Débikele Crashed Frank Schleck's Hopes In Disastrous Failure Tourist Reviews Of Chernobyl Are Glowing Town Of Boring, Oregon Has Teamed Up With Town Of Dull, Scotland – Boring & Dull! Toxic Assets Toxic Asset, Asset That Has Lost Much Of Its Re-Sale Value & Is Near Worthless Toxic Asset, One That Can Kill You! Toxic Shock Toxic Site Toxic Waste Toxic Waste Candy Toxidrome: ‘Blind As A Bat, Mad As A Hatter, Red As A Beet, Hot As Hell, Dry As A Bone,' Toxidrome: ‘The Bowel & Bladder Lose Their Tone, & The Heart Runs Alone,' That’s … Toxidrome's Anticholinergic Overdose Syndromes In Medical Mnemonics Rhyming Time 153
Toxidrome2: DUMB - Diarrhea, Urination, Miosis, Bradycardia, Toxidrome2: ELLS - Emesis, Lacrimation, Lethargy & Salivation, Together DUMBELLS; Or Toxidrome2: SLUDGE - Five Of Above Plus Gastrointestinal Distress Toxidrome2's Dumbbells Sludgy Cholinergic Poisoning From Mushrooms, Sarins & Pesticides TR [Theodore Roosevelt] Tracers Work Both Ways Trade Secret Trader Joe's Chocolatey Cats Cookies For People [Current Product] Trader Joe's Chocolatey People Cookies For Cats [Future Product?] Trader Joe's Gummy Tummies Penguins With Soft Tummies [Current Product] Trader Joe's Organic Midnight Moo Chocolate Flavored Syrup [Current Product] Trading Bread Recipes Is Done On A Knead-To-Know Basis Tradition Of Innovation Traditional Revolution Traditionally Radical Traffic Delay At Any Level Is Intolerable Traffic Flow Traffic Is Slowest During Rush Hour Tragic Comedy Tragic Magic Trailer Park Train Tracks Are Two Ancient Roman Horses Wide Train Schedule Train Station Is Where Train Stops, Bus Station Is Where Bus Stops, Work Station Is ... Train The Trainer Train Timetable Training Either Opens Doors Or Closes Minds [Barry J. Lipson] Training Hard, Or Hardly Training? Training Train Conductors Trains Stop At Train Stations, Buses At Bus Stations & Work At Workstations Tranquil Fiesta Transformer Romance Transient Stability Transit Stop Transparency Award Presented To Obama Behind Closed Doors [3/30/11] Transvestites Have Men’s Plumbing & Like To Eat, Drink & Be Mary Trash Art Trash Bonds Trash Mountain Traumatic Bonding Traumatophobia - Fear Of Being Traumatized By An Injury Or Injured By Trauma Travel Is Very Educational, I Can Now Say ‘Kaopectate’ In 7 Different Languages Travel Stop Traveler's Heaviest Baggage Is An Empty Purse Travesty Of Justice Treachery Will Sometimes Bring Loyalty Into Question 154
Treasury Deficit Treat A Lady Like A Dame, & A Dame Like A Lady [Frank Sinatra] Treat Each Day As Your Last, One Day You Will Be Right Treat Me Like An Angel & I'll Be Your Little Devil Treat Or Treatment? Treat Or Treatment, Candy Or Castor Oil? Treat Or Treatment, Masseuse’s Treatment Was A Treat Or Was Her Treat A Treatment? Treating You Like What You Are Capable Of Becoming, I Help You Become That [Goethe] Treating Your Facts With Imagination Is One Thing, Imagining Them Another [J. Burroughs] Tree-Ceptionist Gal Friday Offered To Handle The Tenant Squirrel’s Nuts For Him Tree Is Known By His Fruit Tree Man [Bush II For Unnamed Forest Service Official] Tree Never Hits An Auto Except In Self-Defense Treecreepers* Trees Cause More Pollution Than Automobiles [Ronald Reagan] Tref/Trayf/Traif, Not Kosher Either Because Forbidden As Pork Or Mixes Milk & Meat Tremendous Ignorance Tremendously Small Trend Chic Trial Separation Trichinosis, Pig's Reply To Proponents Of ‘Porcophagy’ [Ambrose Bierce] Trichophobia - Morbid Disgust Caused By The Sight Of Loose Hairs In Soup Or Elsewhere Trick Or Treat Trickle-Down Economics [Ronald Reagan] Trickle-Down Government [Mitt Romney] Trickle-Up Economics Trickle-Up Economics Verse Trickle-Down Economics Trickster Tricky Dick [Richard Nixon] Tricky Dicky [Richard Nixon] Tricky Dicky’s Economics Tried Being A Chef, Figuring It Would Add A Little Spice, But Didn't Have The Thyme Tried Phone Sex Once Long Ago, But The Holes In The Dialer Were Much Too Small Tried To Be All Things To All People, But Ended Up Being Nobody To Everybody Tried To Drown My Sorrows, But The Bastards Learned How To Swim [Frida Kahlo] Tried To Get A Life Once, But They Were Out Of Stock Tried To Pack Myself In A Small Suitcase, Could Hardly Contain Myself Trifecta Triffidus Celestus, Brought To Earth On The Meteorite During The Day Of The Triffids Trifles Make Perfection & Perfection Is No Trifle [Michelangelo] Trigger, More Hay? No Thanks, Roy, I’m Stuffed! Trinitarians Believe God Consists Of A Unity Of The Father, The Son & The Holy Spirit/Ghost Trinitarians Of Former Day See All Things From Father, Through Son & In The Holy Spirit Trinitarians Of Former Day See 3 Distinct In Unity, Co-Equal, Co-Eternal & Consubstantial Trinitarians Of Latter Day See A Council Of 3 Separate & Distinct Deities, United In Purpose Trinitarians As Seen By Orthodox Rabbis Of Today Are Not Considered To Be Monotheists 155
Trinitarians’ Trinity Consubstantial Rejects Arius View Jesus 'Not Of Same Substance' As God Trinity Monotheist Trip The Light Fantastic [Milton] Trip Today? See You Again Next Fall After Your Next Trip[Dr. Bone, Orthopedic Surgeon ] Trip Today? See You Again Next Fall For Your Next Trip [Tripster Travel] Tripoli, Oklahoma’s Recovery More Important To Obama In 2012 Than Tripoli, Libya Tripping Point, Critical Moment When Idea Or Thing Triggers A Catastrophe Triumph Has The Bra For The Way You Are [Triumph Lingerie] Triumph Of Hope Over Experience Trivial Matters Are Handled Promptly, Important Matters Are Never Resolved Trojan Health & Booty Shop Troll Toll Trolley Jolly - Trolley Enthusiast, Not Necessarily High-Spirited , Jolly Or Jolly Decent Trolley Jolly Loves The Jolly Trolley of Rehoboth Beach Trolleyed Trollop Trouble & Strife Trouble & Strife Is Cockney For Wife Trouble In Paradise Trouble Is Not They Don't Know, But They Know So Much That Ain't So [Josh Billings] Trouble Is Only Opportunity In Work Clothes Trouble Shared Is A Trouble Halved Trouble Shared Is A Trouble Halved, Trouble Halved Is A Trouble Snared Trouble Strikes In Threes, But Next After 3rd Is Not 4th, But Start Of The Next Three Trouble With A Kitten Is That Eventually It Becomes A Cat [Ogden Nash] Trouble With A Milk Cow Is She Won't Stay Milked Trouble With Being Punctual Is That Nobody's There To Appreciate It Trouble With Facts Is That There Are So Many Of Them [Samuel Mcchord Crothers] Trouble With Ignorance Is That It Picks Up Confidence As It Goes Along Trouble With Life In The Fast Lane Is That You Get To The Other End In An Awful Hurry Trouble With Our Times Is That The Future Is Not What It Used To Be [Paul Valery] Trouble With People Is That 'They Know So Much That Ain't So'[Josh Billings] Trouble With Rat Race Is Even If You Win, You're Still A Rat [Lily Tomlin] Trouble With Resisting Temptation Is That It May Never Come Your Way Again Trouble With Self-Made Men Is That They Tend To Worship Their Creator Trouble With The Rat Race Is That Even If You Win, You're Still A Rat [Lily Tomlin] Trouble With Tribbles [Star Trek] Trouble With Unemployment Is As Soon As You Wake Up You're On The Job [Slappy White] Troubled Paradise Troubles Are Going To Have Troubles With Me! I've Bought/Brought A Big Bat! [Dr. Seuss] Troubles ‘Come From Ahead & Some Come From Behind’ [Dr. Seuss] Troubles Not Trouble, Till Trouble Troubles You Truck Farm True Blood True Confessions True Counterfeit True Fiction 156
True Friend Can Never Be A Robber, Goldsmith, Monkey, Or Distiller [Hindu Proverb] True Friend Is Someone Who Is There For You When He'd Rather Be Anywhere Else True Friend Overlooks Your Failures & Tolerates Your Successes [Doug Larson] True Friend Stabs You In The Front - Et Tu, Brute? [Oscar Wilde] True Friend Thinks You’re A Good Egg Even When You’re Slightly Cracked True Friend Walks In When The Rest Of The World Walks Out True Friendship Is Like Sound Health, Its Value Is Seldom Known Until It's Lost True Gastronome Should Always Be Ready To Eat, Just As A Soldier To Fight [Monselet] True Gossip True Grit True Grit Gets The Grittiest Job Done! True Grit Tastes Great True Illusion True Information Normally Meets A Variety Of Different Tests Quite Well True Lies [1994] True Paradox True Replica True Rumors True Spirituality Is A Mental Attitude You Can Practice At Any Time [Dalai Lama] True Story True Test True Test Of Character Is What We Do 'When No One Is Watching' [John Wooden] True Vision Truer Lies [Psych 2009] Truism Is False Truism Is False, Falsity Is Truism Truly Deceptive Truly False Truly Happy Person Is One Who Can Enjoy The Scenery On A Detour Truly Man Is King Of The Beasts For His Brutality Exceeds Theirs [Leonardo Da Vinci] Truly Outrageous! Truly Wise Man Never Plays Leapfrog With A Unicorn Or Butts Heads With A Minotaur Trump Hatched From A Hairball [Birther Logic] Trust Buster [Theodore Roosevelt] Trust, But Verify [Ronald Reagan] Trust In Allah, But Tie Up Your Camel [Arabian Proverb] Trust Me, I Know What I’m Doing! Trust Me, I Know What I’m Doing! Oops! Trust Your Heart If The Seas Catch Fire [E.E. Cummings] Trustworthy Investment Banker [Goldman Sachs] Trustworthy Lawyer Truth Can Be Shut Out For A Time, But It Ain’t Going Away [Elvis Presley] Truth Can Walk Around Naked; The Lie Has To Be Clothed Truth Does Not Change According To Our Ability To Stomach It Truth Has Nothing To Do With Its Credibility, & Vice Versa Truth Hurts Only Those Who Protect Themselves With Lies 157
Truth In Advertising Truth In Lending Truth Is A Rare & Precious Commodity, We Must Be Sparing In Its Use Truth Is More Important Than The Facts [Frank Lloyd Wright] Truth Is Not Beauty, Beauty Is Not Love, Love Is Not Music [Frank Zappa] Truth Is Not For All Men, Only For Those Who Seek It [Ayn Rand] Truth Is Rarely Pure & Never Simple [Oscar Wilde] Truth Is Revealed By Comparing The Lies Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction! Truth Is The Safest Lie [Der Emess Iz Der Bester Lign] Truth Is Today Often Stranger Than Science Fiction! Truth Is Too Obvious To See, Too Clear To Understand Or Too Subtle To Overlook Truth Is What Is, What Should Be Is A Dirty Lie Truth Is What Stands The Test Of Experience [Einstein] Truth, It’s The Funniest Joke In The World [George Bernhard Shaw] Truth Of A Proposition Has Nothing To Do With Its Credibility Truth Or Consequences Truth Will Out Truthful Lies Truthful Tabloids Try A Little Kindness, As Little As Possible Try It, You'll Like It [Alka Seltzer] Try Not To Become A Man Of Success But Rather Try To Become A Man Of Value [Einstein] Try To Live Down To Your Reputation, Go Lower! Try To Stretch Your Mind ‘A Little Further Than The Next Wisecrack’ [Katharine Hepburn] Trying To See Things From Your Viewpoint, But Can’t Get My Head That Far Up Your Ass Trying Is The First Step Towards Failure Trying To Pull A Fast, The Hustler Chatted Up A Cheetah Trying Without Success Is Failing With Honors Tryout Tryumph Is Try Plus Umph! Tryumph of Principles [John Adams, 1776] Tsuris, Yiddishe For Trouble! Enough Said! Tu Quoque Tucks In Tufted Tit-Tyrants* Tug Boats Are Pushy Pushy, Not Tuggy Tuggy Tug Boats Push Their Barges, Would Push Boats Tug Their Loads? Tug Of War Tukhus/Tush/Tushy – Yiddishe For Rear End, Bottom, Buttocks Tumbler, Yiddishe For Entertainer Who Encourages Audience Interaction & Rackety Tumor Juice [Bleeped On tosh.O] Tumor Juice - Tobacco Spit Tuna Steak Tummy Tamer Tummy Tucks 158
Turbine, Something An Arab Sheik Into Energy Wears On His Head Turbo Diesel Turbulent Childhood Turbulent Rapids Turbulently Boiling Turd Blossom [Bush II For His Senior Advisor, The Controversial Karl Rove] Turkey Bacon Turkey Didn’t Cross The Road Because He Wasn't Chicken Turkey Friday Turkey Ham Turkey Hill Dairy Turkey Jerky Turkey Recall – With My Feet On My Ottoman I Reminiscence About The Ottoman Empire Turkey Recall – Many Sickened, One Died Turkey Refused Lunch Invitation Because He Was Already Stuffed Turkey, Why Did He Cross The Road? Because He Wasn't A Chicken Turkey, Why Didn't He Cross The Road? Because He Wasn't A Chicken Turkish Politician, A Real Turkey, Quits Cold Turkey, Dropping Drumsticks! Turn Away & Who Can I Turn To? Turn Right Where You Left Me Off Turn Left Right Here Turn The Lights Out When You Leave [Instructions To Last Person On Earth] Turn The Other Cheek Turn Your Face To The Sun & The Shadows Fall Behind You [Maori Proverb] Turnaround Time On Vessels Turnround Was Tremendous Turncoat Turncoat Urged To Turn The Other Cheek Turned In King's Coat After King's Coat Had Been Turned Out For Mending Turned In The Turncoat To King, Who Turned Out The Turncoat, Banishing Him Forever Turned In To English King's Court Entrance After Being Turned Out Of French King's Court Turned In To King's Lady Love After Having Been Turned Out Of Nunnery For ‘Nunsense’ Turned In Turncoat Turned Up Missing Turning Off Weather Beacon Unleashes A Storm [WSJ] – Violent Weather Or Protest? Turnover [Pastry] Turnover Turned Down Turnover Turned Down Twice, Too Half-Baked On Top & Too Bitter Turnovers Turned Over Twice As Fast As Other Tasty Treats Turnround Of Vessel Had A Tremendous Turnaround Time Turophobia - Fear Of Cheese, Be It Limburger, Camembert Or Cream! Turtle Dove Shells Turtle Feathers Turtles & Men Only Makes Progress When They Stick Their Neck Out Tush/Tushy/Tukhus– Yiddishe For Rear End, Bottom, Buttocks – Fabulous Tush! Tushie Burp TV For Sale, $1.00, Volume Stuck On Full - I Thought ‘I Can’t Turn That Down’ 159
TV Is Chewing Gum For The Eyes [Frank Lloyd Wright] TV Is Dumb & Turning Up The Brightness Knob Doesn't Brighten It TV Remote TV Series Seen Only Once, If Seen Again Will Be A Rerun Of Same Episode Already Seen TV Set Is Only One, Where Is The Rest Of The Set? TV's So Hungry For Material It's Scraping The Top Of The Barrel [Gore Vidal] Twas Brillig & The Slithy Toves Did Gyre & Gimble In The Wabe [Jabberwocky] TWAT [Nigerian 'Total War Against (Piracy) Theft’] Tweenager - Girl Too Old For Toys, But Too Young For Boys [About 9 To 14] Tweeny Twerp Tweet Tweet Attention Deficit Disorder - Inability To Comprehend Over 140 Characters Tweet! Chirped Big Bird As He Tweeted Her Behind For Falling Behind In Her Tweeting Tweet Today, News Of The World Tomorrow [Arab Spring Starting 18 December 2010] Tweet Today, News Of The World Tomorrow [Rupert Murdoch] Tweeters & Woofers Tweeting Nosey News Warrants Having One's Nose Tweeted Tweetless Tweetless Tweet Tweety Pie Tweeted While Tweeting Sylvester's Tail & Tweeting 'I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat' Twelve Months Of Drinking Low-Calorie Beer Is One Lite Year Twelve-Ounce Pound Cake Twenty-Four/Seven Twenty Questions Twenty-First Grader Gunned Down In New York For Grading Lowest In The City Twenty First-Graders Gunned Down In Newtown, Giving Rise To Demands For Gun Control Twenty-Third John Installed In Vatican [Pope John XXIII, 1958-1963] Twenty-Two Year Old Grandma Twice A Day A Stopped Clock Tells The Correct Time Twice A Year The Poor Are Badly Off: Summer And Winter Twiddle Twaddle Twilight Zone Twinkie: A Golden Boy, A Youngish-Looking Creamy Lad With Little Body Hair [Gay Slang] Twinkie: A Golden Small Sponge Cake With A Creamy Filling Pushing Out When Squeezed Twinkie Cousins: Hostess Cupcakes, Devil Dogs, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho's & Wonder Bread Twinkie Eats Twinkie! – Fatty? Masochist? Pervert? Pedophile? Fellatist? Sadist? Cannibal? Twinkie Hosting Group Of Bimbos Is Idiomatically A Stinky Twinkie & An Idiot’s Tool Twinkie May Be Bought By Group Of Bimbos Looking For Boyish ‘Mexican Hairless’ Lad Twinkie May Be Bought By Grupo Bimbo Of Mexico, With Hostess, For Bimbo Bakeries USA Twinkie Smell: ‘A Powerful But Not Quite Rankling Aroma Of Artificial Butter’ [R. Urquhart] Twinkie Smell: A ‘Stinky Twinkie’ [Gay Slang] Twinkie, Twinkie, Little Suet-Filled Sponge Cake Crisco Log, Now I Know Just What You Are Twinkie’s Baker Hostess Claims It’s Liquidating Due To ‘Fattening & Bad Things’ Union Twinkie’s Union: Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers & Grain Millers' International Union Twinkle Twinkle, Little Bat, How I Wonder What You're At? [Alice-Dormouse] Twinkle Twinkle, Little Bat, Up Above The World You Fly, Like A Tea Tray In The Sky 160
Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, How I Wonder What You Are? Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, Up Above The World So High, Like A Diamond In The Sky Twirlin’ The Spaghetti Twirlingly Magnificent Twist Of Lennon [John Lennon] Twisted Tales [F. Chase Taylor] Twitter Twitter, Where Birds Of A Feather Flock Together – Tweet! Tweet! Twitterers Are Mainly Twits Twitterers Tweet Twitting The Nipples Of The Nation Two Banks With Different Rates Have A Conflict Of Interest Two Beavers Are Better Than One, They're Twice The Fun, Ask Anyone [How…Your Mother] Two Blacks Don't Make A White Two-Breasted Amazon Two Can Live As Cheaply As One - For Half As Long Two Cents For Your Thoughts Warrants Change Two Cows Doing It In Violation Of The Defense Of Marriage Act! Two Cows Doing It? That’s Bull Without A Bull! Two Cows Seen Doing It! Chewing Their Cuds, You Twit! Two Cows Seen Doing It, Upping Their Cud & Chewing It! Two Crooks Who Shared A Hotel Room Were Inn-Mates Two Egotists Conferring Is An I For An I Two Foot Tsunami Two Guys & A Truck [Movers] Two Heads Are Better Than One Two-Horned Unicorn Two Is Company, But Three's A Crowd Two Many Twos To Count Two Monologues Do Not Make A Dialogue [Jeff Daly] Two Months Salary, My Ass [Zirconia] Two Most Common Elements In The World Are Hydrogen & Stupidity Two Percent Of Zero Is Nothing Two Plus Two Equals Five [1984 Brainwashing] Two Pope Solution: New Pope & Pope Classic Two Problems, One Is That People Don't Think, Other Is That They Do Two Reasons Some Folks Don't Mind Their Own Business: No Mind Or No Business Two Rights Do Not Make A Wrong, They Make An Airplane Two Robbers Went Golfing, But Didn't Play The Fairway Two Serious Concerns, Things Will Never Get Back To Normal Or They Already Have Two Sides To Each Issue, One Side Right Other Wrong, But Middle’s Always Evil [Ayn Rand] Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout [Headline] Two Solipsists Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies [Headline - Ship Or Shipmate?] Two Steps Forward, One Step Back! Two-Thirds Said Couldn’t Define Social Media & Remainder Lied! 161
Two Trucks & A Guy - Turnpike Double; Three Trucks & A Guy - Queen City Triple Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Four Rights Get You Back To Start Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Shoewrights Make Two Of Everything Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right, But Three Will Get You Back On The Freeway Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Rights Make A Left Two Wrongs May Not Make A Right, But Two Wrights Made An Airplane Twopenny-Halfpenny Two's Company, Three's A Crowd Two's Company, Three's A Crowd & Four’s A Swingfest! Type-A Blood Was Reported Found At The Crime Scene, But It Was A Type-O Type A Personality Type Something About The Something Into Something! [NCIS] Typewrite Typewriter Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery - Hundreds Dead [Headline] Typically Atypical Typically Unique Typically Unusual Typing Error Typo Typesetters Always Correct Intentional Errors, But Miss Unintentional Ones Tyranny In Religion Is The Worst ‘Of All The Tyrannies That Affect Mankind’ [Thomas Paine] Tyrant - Grab Him, Stab Him & Crab Him Under The Sea Tzimmes, Yiddish For A Fuss, Confused Affair, To-Do; Also Sweet Vegetables & Fruit Stew
U U 2 Overflight U 2 Under Radar U. N. Designated Safe Haven U. N. Peace Keeping U. N. Resolution U.S. Constitutional System Of ‘Rule By The Majority With Due Regard To The Minority’ U.S. Distances Itself From Haiti [Headline] Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan! Who's President? I Don’t Know? [Herman Cain - Uzbekistan] UFO Identified! UFO Identified: ‘IFO’ UFO Identified: ‘IFO’ [‘In Your Orifice’] Ugly Is When A Nymphomaniac Tells You, ‘Let's Just Be Friends’ Ugly Win UIL Academics A Sucess [Prosper, TX School District Newspaper] Ulcers Are Not From What You Eat, But From What's Eating You Ulla Awake At 5, Exercise To 7, Shower To 8 … & ‘At 11 Ulla Like To Have Sex’ [Producers] Ulla Enquires: 'What Time Should Ulla Get Here?' Leo & Max: 11!!! ‘Ulla Will Come At 11!’ 162
Ulla: My Name’s Ulla Inka Hanson Benson Yanson Tallen-Hallen Swadon-Swanson Bloom Ulla, Roll'em In The Aisles. Okay, I'll Try But There's Just So Many Of Them [The Producers] Ulla: Secretary-Slash-Receptionist? Okie-Slash-Dokie! [Producers] - Who's The Slash, Ulla? Ulla Singing: 'Violinists Love To Play An E-String, But Audiences Really Love A G-String!' Ulla, Though We Are Sitting Down, We Are Giving You A ‘Standing Ovation’ [The Producers] Ulla, You're His Wife? He Wouldn't Do It Unless We’re Married! What A Schmuck! [Producers] Ultra Casual Ultranationalist Ulysses S. Grant [Hiram Ulysses Grant, But Entered West Point As Ulysses Simpson Grant] Umbrellas Required Are 3, One To Leave At Home, One At Office, & One On Train Un-Ode To Unsexual Wives By Denied, Deceived & Depressed Husbands Everywhere Un-Smelly Poop Unacceptable Solution Unanimously Disagreed Unarmed Assailant Unassailable Job Is British Office-Speak For 'It’s Time To Look For A New Job' Unattained Victory Unattractive Thing About Reality Is That We Have To Share It With So Many Others Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso & A Free Puppy [Gift Shop Sign] Unbearably Loveable Unbearably Obnoxious Unbearably Obnoxious, That's What He Was All The Years I Lived With Him Unbearably Sweet Unbeing Dead Isn't Being Alive [E.E. Cummings] Unbelievably Real Unbelievably True Unbiased Opinion Unbiased Journalism Unbiased Journalist Unbiased News Report Unbiased News Reporter Unbiased Opinion Unbiased Predisposition Unborn Children Unbreakable Toy Is Good Tool For Breaking Other Toys Unbridled Rewards Require Unfettered Responsibilities Unbridled Rewards Require Unfettered Responsibilities, That Means No Horsing Around! UnCANny That So Much Food Is Packaged In Plastic These Days Uncertainty Breeds Contempt Uncertainty Principle : The Only Certainty Is Uncertainty Uncle Abe [Abraham Lincoln] Uncle Jumbo [Grover Cleveland When Topping Scales At 250 Pounds] Uncle Sam [Cadet U.S. Grant] Uncle Tom & Aunt Jemima In The White House, NOT! Uncle Tom: Black American Perceived As Behaving Subservient To White Unclean Hands 163
Uncommitted Voter Uncommon History Of Common Courtesy - Manners Shaped The World [Bethanne Patrick] Uncommon Market [Pittsburgh, Pa] Uncommonly Common Uncommonly Normal Unconditional Surrender Grant [General U.S. Grant] Uncontested Divorce Uncontested Race Uncork ‘Em & Pork ‘Em, Crack The Eggs & Add Ham! Uncork Her & Pork Her Uncork Her & Pork Her, It’s Her Time Of The Month Uncork Her & Pork Her, It’s Her Time To Become A Woman Uncrowned King Uncrowning The King Uncut Fingernails Get Out Of Hand Uncyclopedia Is Never Wrong [Wikipedia's Parody] Under Any Conditions There Is A Law Under Which You Can Be Booked Under Any System, A Few Sharpies Will Beat The Rest Of Us Under Attack, Send In First Battalion Under Attack, Send In More Troops Under Capitalism Man Exploits Man, Under Socialism It's The Opposite Under Dog Under-Graduate Degree Under Studied Understudy Underdeveloped Country Water Is Undrinkable, Developed Country Air Is Unbreathable Underdone Undergraduate Undergraduate Degree Underhanded Underhanded Fiduciary Undersecretary Found Under Secretary [NPR] Undersecretary Saw Underbelly Of Underhandedness Down Under! Undersee The Undersea Repair Of Underbelly Of Underused Underwater Craft Downunder Understanding Banker Understanding Confusion Understanding Editors Understanding Unix Understudy Don’t Under Study Your Part Undertakers Are Nice, They're The Last To Let A Person Down Underwater Property Underwater Property, An Oyster Farm Underwater Property, That Retirement Property You Bought In Florida Years Ago Underwater Property, Mortgage Exceeds Property's Value Undesignated Safe Haven Undesirable Attraction Undetectable Errors Are Infinite While Detectable Errors By Definition Are Limited 164
Undisclosed Reliable Source Undisclosed Re-LIE-able Source Undisputed Boxing Champion Undocumented Peanuts Presence Was Not Reported On Label Undocumented Peanuts Were Picked Up By Police & Asalted Undocumented Report UNeconomic Trifecta: UNemployed, UNderfed & UNderwater Unemployment Benefits Unemployment Benefits For The Partially Unemployed Unemployment Benefits For The Under Employed Unemployment Rate At 100% With Double-Dip Recess [6th Grade Election Promises] Unemployment Results From More & More People Being Thrown Out Of Work Unencumbered By The Thought Process [Car Talk] Unequal Justice Unequalled Equality Unequally Just Unethical Attorney Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living [Socrates Via Plato] Unexpected Surprise Unfasten Seat Belts For Safety Reasons! - They're Refueling The Plane, You Know! Unfeelable, Untouchable, Unkissable, Unloving She Is - No Need To Also Be Unpleasant! Unfinished Floor Finishes Unflappable Flapdoodle Unflappable Flapper Unflappability Unforeseen Events That May Or May Not Occur Are Prepared For Unfunny Joke Unhappily Married Unhealthy Chocolate [Except Dark] Unholy Sacrament Uni-Sex Clothing Uni-Sex Rest Room Unicycle Bicycles (One Wheel Bicycle) [Exact Quote: Guangzhou Peerless Bicycles Co., Ltd] Unified, Neutral Germany May Be The Oxymoron Of The Decade [Kevin M. Matarese 1990] Unimpeachable Reputation Unimpeachable Source Unimpeachable Witness Unified Neutral Germany, Oxymoron Of The Decade? [Kevin M. Matarese 1990] Unintended Consequences Uninvited Guest Uninvolved Bystander Union Jack's Annapolis Presents Dublin 5 Union Jack's Irish Pub [Sign In Annapolis, MD] Union Workers Unique Similarity Unique Standard 165
Unique Uniforms Uniquely Maladjusted - But Fun United Anarchists United Divisions United In Diversity United Independent [LA Taxi Co.] United Independents United Methodists United Nations United Nations Bosnian Safe Area United States United States Is A Nation Of Laws, Badly Written & Randomly Enforced [Frank Zappa] Uniting & Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept & *Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001 [USA Patriot Act] Universal Appeal Universal Church Universal Diversity Universal Donor Universal Experience Universal Flux Is The Coincidence Of Opposites With The Centrality Of Fire [Heraclitus] Universal Health Care Universal Innate Desire Of Every Organism Is To Live Beyond Its Income Universal Joint Universal Screwdriver Universal Solvent Universal Time Universe Can’t Be Expanding For If It Was Parking Spaces Would Be Expanding Too Universe Full Of Magical Things Waiting For Our Wits To Grow Sharper [Eden Phillpotts] Universe, Hydrogen & Stupidity Are ‘Two Most Common Elements’ [Harlan Ellison] Universe, Hydrogen & Stupidity Most Common, ‘I Say There Is More Stupidity’ [Frank Zappa] Universe Is Everything & It's Expanding, Then What Is It Expanding Into? Universe Is A Figment Of Its Own Imagination Universe Is Laughing Behind Your Back Universe Is No Longer Universal, We Now Have The Multiverse Universe Is Not Hostile, Nor Yet Is It Friendly, It Is Simply Indifferent [John Hughes Holmes] Universe Is Not Only Queerer Than We Imagine, It Is Queerer Than We CAN Imagine Universe Is So Hard To Comprehend Because There's Nothing To Compare It With Universe Not Only Stranger Than We Imagine, It's Stranger Than We Can Imagine Universe Winning Race Between Building Idiot-Proof Programs & Its Production Of Better Idiots Universe's Two Most Common Elements: Hydrogen & Stupidity University Can Give You A Diploma But Can't Give You Brains University Funding University Is What A College Becomes When Faculty Loses Interest In Students University Is Where Men Of Principle Outnumber Men Of Honor UNIX Is User Friendly, It’s Just Picky About Its Friends Unjailbreak, To Put The Genie Back In The Bottle 166
Unjailbreak, To Revert To Imprisonment Of Official Apps & Software In Use Of E-Devices Unjust Justice Unknown Identity Unknown Knowledge Unleaded Gas Unless One Like You Cares A Whole Awful Lot, Nothing’s Getting Better, It's Not! [Dr Seuss] Unless You Love Someone, Nothing Else Makes Sense [E.E. Cummings] Unlike American Government, We Prefer Not To Get Our Bad News From CNN! [M To 007] Unlimited Consequences Unlimited Limits Unlived Life Is Not Worth Examining Unmovable Object Unnatural, That Too Is Natural [Goethe] Unnecessary Risk Unobvious Or Spark Of Genius, Which Is Patently Correct? Unpublished Letters To The Daily Telegraph [Published Column] Unqualified Superlatives Unqualified Superlatives, Not Qualified As Superlatives Unqualified Superlatives, Superlatives Without Limitation Unrepeatable Pleonasm Unrestrained Democracy Unsalted Saltines Unsatisfied Desire Is More Desirable Than Any Other Satisfaction [C. S. Lewis] Unscented Deodorant Unscented Incense Unscrew You!!! There, I've Taken It Back! Unsellable Stock Unsightly Unsinkable Molly Brown, Of Fact & Legend, Survived The Sinking Of The Titanic Unsinkable Sam, British Navel Cat, Survived Torpedoing Of Bismarck, Cossack & Ark Royal Unsmelly Poop Unsolved Solution Unspoken Suggestion Unsporting To Have Battle Of Wits With Unarmed Person Unsung Hero Unthaw Until Death Do Us Part Until Debt Do Us Part [Death Of Cash If Debt Limit Crashed] Until Hell Freezes Over Untouchables, Unbridled & Unbribable (?) Eliot Ness Fighting For Prohibition [TV 1959-1963] Untouchables, Unwashed Prohibition Agents Seeking In Chicago Intimate Criminal Contacts Unusual Routine Unusually Generous Unwanted Baby Unwelcome Greetings Unwelcome Recess 167
UP: ABC's Of The UPs & Downs Of The UPpers & Downers - UP! UP: Brighten UP A Room UP: Clean UP The Kitchen UP: Drain Must Be Opened UP Because Its Stopped UP UP: Dressed UP Being Spiffy & Cool; Dressed Down Being Bawled Out & Uncool UP: First & Last Thing Daily, You Fly To Your Fly, Hoping No Fly Is Flying By You, U-P! UP: Fix UP The Old Car UP: If You Are UP To It, You Might Try Building UP A List Of The Many Ways UP Is Used UP: I'll Wrap It UP, For Now My Time Is UP, So........It Is Time To Shut UP! UP: It Is UP To The Secretary To Write UP A Report UP: It Will Take UP A Lot Of Time, But Don't Give UP, You May Wind UP Rich UP: Line UP For Tickets UP: Lock UP The House UP: Meaning Toward The Sky Or At The Top Of The List UP: Officers Are UP For Election UP: People Stir UP Trouble UP: Polish UP The Silver UP: Rain Threatens, It Is Clouding UP; But Come The Sun, It Is Clearing UP UP: Rain Messes Things UP; Lack Of Rain Dries Things UP UP: Think UP Excuses UP: Topic Come UP UPstairs At The Meeting UP: UP & Died UP: UP Back [Football Running Back] UP: UP Chuck, Don’t Upchuck UP: UP Late, Lately [Michelle Lewis] UP: UP The Down Staircase UP: UP Until Yesterday UP: UP, UP & Away UP: UP With Mini-Skirts UP: Warm UP The Leftovers UP: We Call UP Our Friends UP: We Open UP A Store In The Morning, But We Close It UP At Night UP: We Speak UP UP: When We Awaken In The Morning, We Wake UP UP: Work UP An Appetite Up/Down [Australian Singer Jessica Mauboy] Up To Speed, While Still Being Down To Earth [CNBC] Up On Top You See Great Sights, But Down Here At Bottom We, Too, Have Rights [Seuss] Up Your Nose With A Garden/Rubber Hose [Welcome Back Kotter] Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose & Twice As Far With A Chocolate Bar [Kotter] Upcoming Downtrend Upcoming Reversals Updown UpDown [Investing Social Network] Uphill One Climbs Slowly; Downfall One Rolls Fast Upholsterer Crashed Into Sofa, Recovery Of Sofa Delayed Until Recovery Of Upholsterer 168
Upholsterer Pulled Into Upholstery Machine Is Fully Recovered Upon Observing Her First Strands Of Gray Hair, She Thought She'd Dye Upper Classes Are A Nation's Past; The Middle Class Is Its Future [Ayn Rand] Upper Level, Ground Floor Upper Low [Weather Term] Upper Persuasion For Lower Invasion Uppity Uppityness Is A Downer Ups & Downs Are Worst In The Morning, First Getting Up & Then Getting Down To Work Upside Down Upside Down Cake Upside Down Hanging Mammals - Their Bats! Upside-Down Monument Is Of Charles La Trobe, Victoria, Australia's First Lt. Governor Upside-Down Monument To Universities Like La Trobe U Turning ‘Ideas On Their Heads’ Upskirt Upstairs, Downstairs [BBC TV 1971] Upstart Greatness Is Less Respected Than Ancient Greatness, But Why? [Adam Smith] Upward Compatible: ‘We Get To Keep All Our Old Mistakes’ [Dennie Van Tassel] Uranus Has Ring Of Debris Around It [Headline -Impertinent!] Urban Cowboy Urban Landscape Urban Planning Urgent Always Crowds Out The Important & Expedient The Essential Urine Sample Contained An Olive, I Think I May Be Drinking Too Much US Had 51 States On 911 - Fifty Geographic States Plus State Of Emergency US Supreme Court Justices ‘Spent Two Days Enjoying Gay Oral’ [Daily Show] Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do Or Do Without [WWII Slogan] Use Your Intelligence Or Be Watered Twice A Week Used To Be A Lumberjack, But I Just Couldn't Hack It, So They Gave Me The Axe Used To Be Lost In The Shuffle, Now I Just Shuffle Along With The Lost Used To Have A Handle On Life, But It Broke Used To Think I’m Indecisive, But Now I’m Not Sure Used To Work In A Blanket Factory, But It Folded Useful Insurance Policy Useful Oxymoron Usefulness Is Inversely Proportional To Reputation For Being Useful User Fiendly User Friendly User-Friendly War User Unfriendly Usually He's As Hard As Trigonometry [Zohan’s Short Arm] Usually Takes Over Three Weeks To Prepare A Good Impromptu Speech [Mark Twain] Usually Unusual Utah! Utah Poison Center Reminds Everyone Not To Take Poison [Headline] Utopia: 1987 Wages, 1932 Prices, 1910 Taxes 169
Utter Counterfeit Currency Utter Silence, The Sound Of Nobody Caring What You Think (Except Perhaps The Cows) Utter Silence Utters Udders
V V 1983 TV Series; V 1983 & 2009 TV Series; & Perhaps 1983, 2009 & 2035 TV Series V, Series Of Redone Series, Using An Irregular Plural Noun Va-Va-Voom, She's Lively, Exciting, Sexy & Passionate, Ain't She! Vacant Lot Vacation Bible School Vacation Is What You Take When You Can’t Take What You've Been Taking [Earl Wilson] Vacation Is What You Take When You Can't Take Any Longer What You've Been Taking Vacationship Vacuum Cleaner Vacuum Filled Vacuums Suck! Is That Good? Vagina Is A Place Where All Men Come From & Spend Their Lives Returning To [Glaucon] Vagina Sounds So Cold Clinical, ‘Hard To Feel Warm & Fuzzy’ About It [Judith Rosenbaum] Vagina Sounds So Cold, ‘Schmundie’ won The Girls’ Luncheon Vote [Judith Rosenbaum] Vagina, Vagina, Vagina [Stargate 1] Vaguely Aware Vaguely Familiar Vaguely Intelligent Vain Aggrandizement Vain Attempt Vain Passion Vain Vein Vainglorious Vainglorious, Glorious Vanity To Point Of Absurdity Vainglory Vajayjay Valley Heights Valor Is The Better Part Of Indiscretion Valuable Junk Vampire Fiancé Dumped, Relationship Sucked! Vampire Squid: Goldman Sachs Wrapping ‘Around The Face Of Humanity’ Sucking In Money Van Gogh Was A Painter Because He Didn't Have An Ear For Music Vane SeVered Vein of Violated Vain Virgin She Vouched Vanilla Fudge Variables Won't, Constants Aren't Variations On A Theme Varicose, He Gnawed On Her Nearby Flesh & Veins Until He Was Varicose To The Bone Variety Is The Spice Of Life Vast Areas Patrolled By Half-Vast Force [Algerian Gendarmes] Vast Ideas Fail Because Of Half-Vast Execution/Executors 170
Vast Projects Based On Half-Vast Ideas Are Rejects! Vatican City, While The Smallest Country It Is Among The Most Influential As Papal Seat Verbal Contract Isn't Worth The Paper It's Written On [Samuel Goldwyn] Verbally Inane, If Not Insane Vegetable Beef Soup Vegetables Are A Must On A Diet, Carrot Cake, Zucchini Bread & Pumpkin Pie [Garfield] Vegetarian, Indian Word For 'Bad Hunter' Vegetarian Hamburger Vegetarian Meatball Vegetarian Meatloaf Vegetarian Seafood Vegetarians Don't Love Animals, They Hate Plants Vegetarians Eat Vegetables, What Do Humanitarians Eat? Long Pig? Vegetarians Like Animals, They’re Nutty; I Like Animals, They're Yummy! Veggie Burger Vehicle In Front Of You Is Always Traveling Slower Than You Need To Go Veiled Accusation Veiled Comment Veiled Reference Veiled Threat Vein Blockage Vein Passion Vein Vain Veinglorious, Gorious Vanity To Point Of Absentia Velcro, What A Rip-Off! Velcro's A Rip-Off! Velveeta®: You Can Eat It - Or Wax Your Car With It! [Judy Garland] Velvet Gloved Big Stick Veni, Vedi, Visa - I Came. I Saw. I Did A Little Shopping Veni, Vidi, Velcro - I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around Venial Sin Venice Has Good Water & Bad – Problem Is There’re Mixed! Venison For Dinner? Oh Deer! Ventura Freeway Venus De Milo Armed Venus Flytrap Eats Meat Venus Flytrap Sighted - Zipper Up Venustraphobia - Fear Of Beautiful Women Or Being Caught In Venus’ Trap [BBC News] Verbal Contract Isn’t Worth The Paper It's Written On Verbal Contract Isn’t Worth The Paper It's Written On Unless Provable Verbal Outburst At Sea During Male Orgasm Is A 'Sperm Wail' Verbatim Word For Word [Bones] Vergatario Venezuelan Mobile Phones Vergina Macedonian Beer Versatility Of Conviction [George Wills On Mitt Romney] Veteran Administrator Vetted Jockey Shorts' Venereal Suitability 171
Veteran MD Vetted Jockey's Vexing Venereal Disease & Jock Itch Veterinarian Vetted Filly's Vexing Venereal Disease & Saddle Sores Vertical Horizon Very Easy On The Eyes Very Fine Line Between ‘Hobby’ & ‘Mental Illness’ Very First Doctor Of Dermatology Had To Start From Scratch Very Funny Scotty, Now Beam Down My Clothes Very Idea Of An Idea Is Now Anathema To The FDA [Bruce Nicoll] Very Interesting Conveys The Misconception 'They're Impressed' Very Interesting Really Means 'I Don't Agree' Or 'I Don't Believe You' Very Little Very Moderate Very Unique Vesuvius Precipitated Its Fiery, Destructive Rage On Herculaneum Creating A Great Museum Vet Holds Injured Dog, Crying I Must Put Him Down! Why, It’s Fatal? No, He's Heavy! Veteran Veterinarian Vetted The Vexing Prognosis of The K-9 Vet’s Virulent War Wound Veterinarian's Waiting Room: 'Be Back In 5 Minutes. Sit! Stay!' Viagra Boner Viagra Falls Viagra Hard-On Viagra Is Like Disneyland, A One Hour Wait For A Two-Minute Ride Viagra Keeps Him From Falling Out Of Bed Viagra Keeps Him In Bed Viagra Slump Viagra Thieves Hunted As Hardened Criminals Viagra’s Ingredients: 2% Aspirin, 2% Ibuprofen, 1% Filler & 95% ‘Fix A Flat’ Vibrating Ringtone Vibrator Inventor Inspired By Voice Saying ‘If You Build It, They Will Come’ Vicarious Liability Vice Itself Lost Half Its Evil By Losing All Its Grossness [Edmund Burke] Vice Presidency Was Dead End Job, Prez Had To Be Dead For Him To End Up As Prez Vice-Presidential Power Viceless People 'You Can Be Pretty Sure ... Have Some Pretty Annoying Virtues' [Liz Taylor] Vices Of Mankind Are Active & Able Ministers Of Depopulation [Malthus] Vices Of Our Virtues [Robert Samuelson] Vickie Wearing Sheer Victoria's Secret Has Her Secrets Exposed Victims Of Birth Control Have No Vote Victimless Crime Victimless Crime, Like Tax Evasion Or Public Indecency Victory Belongs To The Most Persevering [Napoleon] Victory Goes To Wealthiest Candidate Who Convinces Middle Class & Poor He's With Them Victory Has Many Fathers But Failure Is An Orphan Video Still Vidi, Vici, Veni - I Saw, I Conquered, I Came Vietnamese American Viewer Discretion May Be Advised, But It’s Never Really Expected 172
Views Expressed By Husbands Are Not Necessarily Those Of The Management Vigilante Justice Vigor Of Youth When You're Old Easier Than Wisdom Of Age When You're Young Vigorish/Vig, Yinglish For Bookmaker’s Portion Of Gamblers Winnings Vigorous Masturbation Session Is 'Hand To Gland Combat' Vigorously Asleep Vigorously Ignoring Viking Communicate In Norse Code Village Of Old Wexford [PA] Sought This New Designation For Itself Circa 2003 Vinify Grape Juice Vinify Pablum Vino Veritas - In Wine, Truth Violence Against Women Act Opponent: 'I Love Women - As Often As Possible!' Violence Is Last Refuge Of Incompetent [Salvor Hardin/ Isaac Asimov] Violence Is Last Refuge Of Incompetent As ‘Competent Don't Wait That Long’[J. Pournelle] Violence! ‘Sexual Content’! [Walt Disney's Three Musketeers] Violence Won’t Solve A Thing, Just Makes It More Challenging To Solve Violent Agreement Violent Pacifist Violent Peace Protest Violently Peaceful Viral Communications Circulate At Light Speed Spreading Product Promotion & Perdition Viral Infections Travel By Sexual & E-Intercourse, Air, Water, Contact & The Internet Viral Vindictive Video 'Innocence Of Muslims' Went Viral Infecting The Muslim World Virgin Birth Virgin Bride Virgin Bridle Virgin Chinese Triplets: Tu Yung Tu, Tu Dum Tu, No Yen Tu Virgin Forest, A Place Where The Hand Of Man Had Never Set Foot Virgin Is A Rose That Still Has To Unfold Its Petals Virgin Mother Virgin Olive Oil Virgin On A Waterbed Is A 'Cherry Float' Virgin Vinyl Virgin With Thimble On Finger, Never Feels Prick Virgin Wool Virgina, A Virgin Vagina Located In Or Out Of Virginia Virginal Extremum: ‘The Shimmer Of Young Foliage’ [L.P. Smith] Virginal, Legless Lady Played Rectangular Harpsichord From 16th -17th Centuries Virginal, Legs Clapped In Perpetual State Of Sexual Virginity Virginity Can Be Cured Virginity Is Like A Balloon, One Prick & It’s Gone Virginity Restoration Surgery Virgins All: "Thanks For Nothing' Virgins Of The World Unite Virgins Of The World Unite – Oops, Uniting Causes Devirgination! 173
Virgin’s Olive Oil Virtual Friend Virtual Life Virtual Participant Virtual Prisoners Held Captive By The Limits Of Imagination Virtual Real Estate Virtual Reality Virtual Virus Went Viral Virtually Virtually All Nations Signed The Treaty Virtually Broke, Banker Banked A Bundle With His Broker Before Being Busted Virtually Identical Virtually Scratch Resistant Virtually Spotless Virtually The Strike Paralyzed The City Virtue Herself Is Her Own Fairest Reward [Silius Italicus] Virtue Is Its Own Punishment Virtue Is Its Own Reward Virtuous Advertising Virtuous Whore Is Invention Of The Virtuous Pimp Virus Went Viral Biologically Virus Went Viral Electronically VISA Is Everywhere You Want To Be, Except Out Of Debt Visibly Absent Vision Is The Art Of Seeing Things Invisible [Jonathan Swift] Vision Of Eye-Doctor On Alaskan Island Was Optical Aleutian Vision Without Action Is A Daydream, Action Without Vision Is A Nightmare Vision Without Action Is Only A Dream Vision Without Execution Is Just Hallucination [Henry Ford] Visitors To Cuba Are Usually Havana Good Time Visual Probability Law: Visual Observation Of Act Is Directly Proportional To Stupidity Of Act Vital Papers Demonstrate Their Vitality By Moving Faster Than Sight Vital Papers Show Vitality By Moving From Where Left To Where They Can't Be Found Vitamins Are Good For What Ails You, Viagra for What Fails You Vivekananda, Nation Builder, & Ibrahim, Underworld Don, Had Same IQ [Gadkari-India] Vocal Minority Vodka + Orange Juice + Milk Of Magnesia = Phillip's Screwdriver? Vogue - [For] The Overwhelming Minority [Vogue Magazine] Vogue - If It Wasn't In VOGUE It Wasn't In Vogue Voice Mail Voice Of The Silent Majority Voiceless It Cries, Wingless Flutters, Toothless Bites, Mouthless Mutters [Tolkien - Wind] Voices In My Head May Not Be Real, But They Have Some Good Ideas! Volkswagen Beetle With Engine In Front Volt Electric Car Being 'More Car Than Electric' Takes Gas Voltaic Couples [Mated Malian Niger-Congo Linguistic Pairs] Voltaic Couples [Pairs Of Substances Chemically Producing Electricity] 174
Voltaic Couples Shockingly Practice Cunnilingus, Oops! Cunning Lingos Volume Of Paper Expands To Fill The Available Briefcases Voluntary Compliance Voluntary Regulation Voluntary Taxes Voluntary Work, I Wouldn’t Do It If You Paid Me! Volunteer Is Worth Twenty Pressed Men Volunteer Job Volunteer Volunteer Director Volunteering Is Mandatory Voodoo Economics Voodoo Science Voting Power Voting Rights Vouchsafe Voyeurism Book Is A Peeping Tome Vulgar Fraction Vulgar Volga Vulgar Vino Vulgar Vulva Vulgarization Of Love & Marriage Vulture Enplaned With Two Dead Cats, Stewardess Scolded 'Only One Carrion Allowed' Vybafnout, Check This Out In Czech Republic When They Jump Out At You & Say BOO!
W W 5 & H 1 A/K/A 'Six W's: 'Knowing What's What & What's Not'- Info-Gathering Basics *W 5 & H 1: Who Is It About? What Happened? Where Did It Take Place? *W 5 & H 1: When Did It Take Place? Why Did It Happen? How [Whow] Did It Happen? W 5 & H 1 Plus: However, For The Journalistic Sizzle You Need To Seek The WOW [BJL] Wack Off! Australian Insect Repellent Wacky Nerd Wacky Tobacky [Marijuana] Waffle Is Like Pancake With Syrup Traps [Mitch Hedberg] Wag Of The Finger, Tip Of The Hat [Colbert Report] Wage Slave Wages Of Sin Are Death, But After Taxes It's Just Sort Of A Tired Feeling [Paula Poundstone] Waging Peace Waging War To Get Peace Wagon Of Love Breaks Down Under The Baggage Of Life Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind [Tom Wilson] Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind, Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste Wait For That Wisest Of All Counselors – Time! [Pericles] Wait, I’m Just A Professional Doing A Job - 'Me Too' [007 To Dr Kaufman Killing Him] Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me! [NPR] Waiter, There's No Fly In My Soup! [Kermit The Frog] Waiters Ain’t Fast, They’re Trained To Wait & Excel At Waiting Around 175
Waiters Are Good At Multiplication Because They Know Their Tables Waiting For Someone Else To Make You Happy Is The Best Way To Be Sad Waiting Patiently Waiting To Die Is Not Living [Akira Kurasawa] Waitresses Who Are Tipped Don't Spill [Diner Sign] Waity Katy Waive Right To Remain Silent & All You Say Will Be Misquotedly Used Against You Wake Wake Up, You're Dead! Waking Dream Waking Walking In Walhalla Walk A Mile For A Camel Walk A Mile For A Camel Each Time You Want To Reach For One! Walk A Mile In His Shoes Walk A Mile In His Shoes, Then When Smearing Him You're A Mile Away With His Shoes Walk Don't Run Walk Don't Run Beeped R2D2 To C3P0, But C3P0 Couldn't Walk ‘Cause He Wasn't Running!’ Walk Like A Duck & Quack Like A Duck, But You're No Duck! Walk The Talk Walking But Not Moving, Nowhere To Go On This Endless Road Walking On Sunshine [Katrina & The Waves] Walking Race Walking on Water Walking On Water Is A Slippery Endeavor Walking on Water Is Not Unique To The Reputed Son Of God Walking on Water Is Seen In Lagartos de Jesus Cristo, Jesus Lizards & Jesus Bugs Walking on Water Is Seen In Species of Water Striders, Skimmers, Lizards, Ants & Birds Walking Up Stairs Gets Me Down Walks Like A Duck & Talks Like A Duck, It’s Probably A Duck Walks Like A Duck & Talks Like A Duck, You Better Duck! Wall Flowers Are Out-Dated Wall Street Walled Up Nuns & Nuns Walled In [Lancelot Holland, Their Knight In Shining Armor!] Walls Have Ears Walnuts & Pears You Plant For Your Heirs Walrus [Hairy Chester A. Arthur] Walrus1: The Time Has Come, My Little Friends, To Talk Of Other Things Walrus2: Of Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax, Of Cabbages & Kings Walrus3: & Why The Sea Is Boiling Hot, & Whether Pigs Have Wigs Walrus4: Calloo, Callay, Come Run Away - With The Cabbages & Kings Walt Disney Imagineering Wandering Shepherd Wandering Tattlers* Waning Crescent Want A Miracle, Be The Miracle [Bruce Almighty] Want Not "The Will To Believe But The Wish To Find Out' [Bertrand Russell] 176
Want Story That Starts With An Earthquake & Works Its Way Up To A Climax [S. Goldwyn] Want To Reach 8 Out Of 10 Adults - Walk This Way Want To Rent Batman Forever? 'No, Just Overnight!' Wanted - Meaningful Overnight Relationship Wanted To Be Baker, But Couldn't Raise The Dough; A Fisherman, But Never Caught On Wanted To Be Doctor But Didn't Have The Patience; A Cardiologist But Lacked The Heart[s] Wanted To Be Surgeon, But Just Couldn't Cut It; A Psychiatrist, But Was A-Freud Wanted To Run For Presidency In Worst Possible Way& Last Year I Sure Did [Geo McGovern] Wanting To Be Someone Else Is A Waste Of Who You Are [Kurt Cobain] War & God! War & Peace War Determines Not Who's Right, But Who's Left War Dims Hope For Peace [Headline – Duh!] War Doesn’t Determine Who Is Right, Only Who Is Left [George Bernard Shaw] War Games War Hath No Fury Like A Non-Combatant [Charles Edward Montague] War Hero War Is Diplomacy By Other Means [Carl Von Clausewitz] War Is Its Own Punishment War Is Peace [George Orwell 1984] War Law War On Drugs War on Guns War On Terror War On War War Or Hell, Which Is Worse? War, There Are No Bystanders In Hell! Wardrobe Malfunction [Janet Jackson] Warlord Warm As Ice Warm Down Warm Freezer Warm Frost Warm Fuzzies Warm Fuzzy Small Pox Infected Blankets For Native Population Warm Ice Warm Smile Is The Universal Language Of Kindness Warm Up Warmduscher [German: Wimp Or ‘Warm-Shower-Taker’] Warning: Dates In Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear WARNING! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition Warning: I Have An Attitude & I Know How To Use It Warning: Incorrigible Punster, Do Not Incorrige Or Corrige (Nor Even Encourage)! Warped Barrel Is A Fools Frustration [Get Smart] Warranty & Guarantee Clauses Are Misplaced After Payment Of The Invoice Wart Pun: Aysop's Feebles [F. Chase Taylor- Twisted Tales] Was All So Different Before Everything Changed 177
Was Engaged To Girl With A Wooden Leg, But I Broke It Off Was Going To Be A Juggler, But Didn't Have The Balls Was Living Life In The Fast Lane Until I Married A Speed Bump Was Only Looking At Your Nametag Slip Out Of Sight, Honest! Was So Surprised By My Birth I Didn’t Speak For A Year & A Half Was Suicided [Driven To Suicide] Was Two Years Ago Today I Lost My Wife, I'll Never Forget That Card Game Wash Your Face In The Morning, Neck At Night Washington, DC Is A City Of Southern Efficiency & Northern Charm [John F. Kennedy] Washington Earthquake Was The Government’s Fault Washington Of The West [William Henry Harrison] Wasn't Planning To Have Fun At Job & It Lived Up To My Expectations Waste Management Waste Not Want Not Wasteful Profit Wasting Time Is An Important Part Of Living Watch It, Sucka! [Sanford & Son] Watched Pot Never Boils Watch Noise Watch Out For Her, She’s A Back Stabber Watch Out For Her, She’s Being Stalked Watch Out For Her, She’s Hot Watch! Second Hand Is Third! Watch Your Thoughts, They Become Words *Watch Your Words, They Become Actions *Watch Your Actions, They Become Habits *Watch Your Habits, They Become Character *Watch Your Character, It Becomes Your Destiny [Frank Outlaw] Watch Your Words & Keep Them Sweet, For You Don’t Know Which Ones You'll Eat Water Boarding Water Bodies Water Closet [WC] Water Is The Most Neglected Nutrient In Your Diet, But One Of The Most Vital [Kelly Barton] Water Land Water Landing Water Loving Cat Water Pistol In Algebra Class Confiscated As Weapon Of Math Disruption Water Polo Water Proof Water Proof Coat Water Proof Raincoat Water Resistant Water Shedding Water Skiing Water Sledding Water, Taken In Moderation, Cannot Hurt Anybody [Mark Twain] 178
Water, The 'World’s Most Valuable Commodities Is Literally Drying Up' [Christiane Amanpour] Water Vapor Water, Water Everywhere & Not A Drop To Drink Waterbed Caused Their Marriage To Drifting Apart Waterbed May Just Be Your Vinyl Resting Place Waterbed Started The Couple's Drifting Apart Watercolor Watergate Ball Waterloo Was 'A Damn Nice Thing - Nearest Run Thing You Ever Saw' [Duke Of Wellington] Waterloo Was 'A Damn Nice Thing - Then 'Nice' Meant 'Careful Or Precise' Or Even 'Foolish' Waterpik Oral Dental Device, In Danish Translates To 'Vandpik' Or ‘Morning Erection' Waterpik Reaction: ‘& You Put That Thing In Your Mouth?!?!' [Jørgen Lykkebo] Waxing The German Army Helmet Waxy Mind Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest [Rodney Dangerfield] Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach Way To A Man's Heart Is With A Sword Way To A Man's Wallet Is Through His Pants Way To See By Faith Is To Close The Eye Of Reason [Benjamin Franklin] Way To Succeed Is To Double Your Error Rate [Thomas J. Watson] We Aim Above The Mark To Hit The Mark [Ralph Waldo Emerson] We Aim To Minimize Civlian Casualties Or We Aim So As To Minimize Civlian Casualties? We Aim To Please; You Aim Too, Please [Urinal Sign] We Are All Competing Against Mediocrity [Blue Man] We All Forget Most Of What We Try To Learn We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes [Psycho, 1960] We All Invent Ourselves, What Can I Make Myself Be? [REM] We All Live Every Day In Virtual Environments, Defined By Our Ideas We All Live In A Yellow Submarine We All Live Under The Same Sky, But With Different Horizon [Konrad Adenauer] We All Spring From Apes, But Your Spring Fell Far Short Of The Mark We Always Hold Hands, For If I Let Go She Shops We Are Alone We Are What We Think [Buddha] We Become What We Do - Excellence Then Is NOT An Act But A Habit! [Aristotle] We Believe Those We Know Not Because They Have Never Deceived Us [Samuel Johnson] We Can Repair Anything (Please Knock Hard On The Door, The Bell Doesn't Work) We Cannot Do Everything At Once, But We Can Do Something At Once We Cannot Really Love Anybody With Whom We Never Laugh [Agnes Repplier] We Climbed Down Into A Blocked Sewer We Control Matters Because We Control The Mind, Reality Is Inside The Skull [1984] We Cover The News To Reveal Them We Don’t Anticipate Any Emergencies We Didn’t Fight Our Way To The Top Of The Food Chain To Be Vegetarians We Don't Believe In Planners [George W. Bush] We Don't Know A Millionth Of One Percent About Anything [Thomas Edison] 179
We Don't Know Yet About Life, How Can We Know About Death [Confucius] We Don't Like Their Sound [Decca Recordings Rejecting Beatles 1962] We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badgers [Weird Al Yankovic, UHF Film] We Don't Need No Stinking Badges [Blazing Saddles] We Don't Need 'To Show You Any Stinkin' Badges!' [Treasure Of The Sierra Madre] We Don’t See Things As They Are, We See Them As We Are [Anais Nin] We Don’t Stop Playing Because We Grow Old, We Grow Old Because We Stop Playing We Eat, Therefore We Hunt [Palin] We Exchange Anything - Bring Your Wife & Get A Wonderful Bargain [Secondhand Shop] We Got Lovers, Lots Of Lookers, Dancing Girls & Hookers, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm I Love This Bar We Got Lovers, Lots Of Lookers – Sightseers Or Hot Chicks? [Toby Keith] We Got Rid Of The Kids, The Cat Was Allergic We Got Wrong Play; Wrong Director; Wrong Actors. ‘Where Did We Go Right?’ [Producers] We Gotta Stand With Our North Korean Allies [Sarah Palin - Glenn Beck Show] We Had Our Eyes Closed, Even When We Could See [Day Of The Triffids] We Had Youth, How About A Fountain Of Smart? - No, We Blow The Tree Of Knowledge We Hardly Knew Him We Hardly Knew Him, Said The Well Satisfied Wench We Have Enough Gun Control, What We Need Is Idiot Control We Have Enough Youth, How About A Fountain Of Chocolate? We Have Enough Youth, How About A Fountain Of Smart? We Have Found A Way To Talk Around The Problem [REM] We Have Freedom Of Speech, Freedom Of Thought, & Wisdom To Use Neither [Twain] We Have Liftoff We Have Listeners, As Well As Tellers™ [Horizon Savings & Loan] We Have Met The Enemy & He Is Us [Walt Kelly - Pogo] We Have Never Known Humanity … To Survive Without Clean Water [VT Gov. Peter Shumlin] We Have Not Lost Our Way, Our Way Has Lost Us [Gaelic Proverb] We Have Run Out Of Money, Now We Have To Think [Winston Churchill] We Have Seen The Enemy, And He Is In Us [Walt Kelly - Pogo] We Have To Believe In Free Will -- We've Got No Choice [Isaac Bashevis] We Have Two Kids, My Wife & Myself [Plus Two Real Ones - Thelonious Monk] We Haven't The Time To Take Our Time [Eugene Ionesco] We Heard You're Out Of Your Mind, Don't Hurry Home! We Judge Ourselves By What We Feel We Can Do, Others By What We Have Already Done We Keep You Alive To Serve This Ship. Row Well & Live [Ben-Hur, 1959] We Know The Truth By Comparing The Lies We Learn From History That We Never Learn Anything From History [George Bernard Shaw] We Learn From Our Mistakes - You Learned A Lot Today We Learn Much From Wise Words, Little From Wisecracks & Less From Wise Guys We Learn To Speak Early & To Keep Silent Late We Live In A Newtonian World Of Einsteinian Physics Ruled By Frankensteinian Logic We Live In An Age When Pizza Gets To Your Home Before The Police [Jeff Marder] We Love Each Other Even When We Hate Each Other We Love Flowers, We Pluck ‘Em; We Love Trees, We Cut ‘Em; We Love People, We ... We Make Your Business Our Business 180
We May Be Down, But We're Not Out! We Mega-Rich Continue To Get Our Extraordinary Tax Breaks [Warren Buffett] We Make A Living By What We Get, We Make A Life By What We Give We Must All Hang Together, Or Assuredly We Shall All Hang Separately [Benjamin Franklin] We Must Believe In Free Will, We Have No Choice [Isaac B. Singer] We Must Decide How We Are Valuable, Not How Valuable We Are [Edgar Z. Friedenberg] We Must Either Find A Way Or Make One [Hannibal] We Must Keep Our Sights On Tomorrow To Be In Touch With Today [Dean Rusk] We Must Learn To Live Together As Brothers Or Perish Together As Fools [M.L. King, Jr] We Must Not Change The Essential Character Of Our Country [DAG Larry D. Thompson] We Must Lay One Brick At A Time, Staring With Brick Bardo [Dollman 1991] We Must Lay One Brick At A Time, Take One Step At A Time [Dorothy Day] We Need Each Other We Need Fewer Republican & Democratic Senators & Many More United States Senators We Need Not Think Alike To Love Alike [Francis David] We Need Market Rules ‘That Apply Across-The-Board’ [Republican Ex- FDIC Chair S. Bair] We Need Market Rules ‘That Restore Common Sense & Basic Notions Of Fair Play’ [S. Bair] We Never Really Grow Up We Never Really Grow Up, We Only Learn How To Fake It In Public We Never Regret Of Having Eaten Too Little [Thomas Jefferson] We Never Sleep! [Pinkerton's Detective Agency] We Never Sleep, But Regretfully The Crooks Do! We Often See Further Through A Tear Than Through A Telescope We Overestimate Changes In 2 Year & Underestimate Changes In 10 Year [Bill Gates] We Put The ‘.’ In Dot.Com [Sun Microsystems] We Retain According To The Learning Pyramid 05 To 90% Of What We Learn We Retain 05% Of What We Learn When We Learn From Lectures We Retain 10% Of What We Learn When We Learn From Reading We Retain 20% Of What We Learn From Audio-Visual Exposure We Retain 30% Of What We Learn When We See Demonstrations We Retain 50% Of What We Learn When We Engage In Group Discussions We Retain 75% Of What We Learn When We Practice What We Learned We Retain 90% Of What We Learn When We Teach Someone Else We Retain 90% Of What We Learn When We Use It Immediately We Retain 100% 0f Zilch We Retain Water Better Than We Retain Knowledge We Run Into Trouble When We Run Up Large Bar Bills & May Have To Run Away Fast We See Things Not As They Are, But As We Are We Seek The Light Of Truth Between Our White Lies [Sordid Lives] We Sell More Cars Than Ford, Chrysler, Chevrolet, & Buick Combined [Matchbox] We Shall All Be Old One Day Provided We Can Avoid Being Slaughtered Along The Way We Shall Recognize Ourselves By Our Smiles We Should Take Iraq & Iran & Combine Them Into One Country & Call It Irate [Dennis Leary] We Start With Oat Bran To Live Forever, Then Live Like There's No Tomorrow [Lee Iacocca] We Take Fun Seriously We Take Fun Too Seriously 181
We The People We The Wee People We Think Fast Food Is Equivalent To Pornography, Nutritionally Speaking [Steve Elbert] We Want Both A Square-Deal & To Be Well-Rounded We Want Story Starting With An Earthquake & Working 'Its Way Up To A Climax' [Goldwyn] We Were Born Naked, Wet & Hungry, Then Things Got Worse We Were Like Strangers Who Knew Each Other Very Well [Big Fish] We Will Act Rationally When All Other Possibilities Have Been Exhausted We Will Do All Right If We Can Capitalize On Our Mistakes [Mickey Rivers] We Will Not Tire, We Will Not Falter, & We Will Not Fail [George W. Bush] We Will Not Lie, Cheat, Or Steal, Nor Tolerate Among Us Anyone Who Does [Military Code] We Will Pray With Aphrodite – She Wears That See-Thru Nightie [Pete Seeger] We Will Sell No Wine Before Its Time [Paul Masson Wines] Weadie [Bush II For 'Compassionate Conservative' Author Doug Wead] Weadnik [Bush II For 'Compassionate Conservative' Author Doug Wead] Weak Can Never Forgive, Forgiveness Is The Attribute Of The Strong [Mahatma Gandhi] Weak Muscle Weak Student Had A Photographic Memory That Was Never Developed Weaknesses Of Our Age Is Inability To Distinguish Needs From Greeds [Don Robinson] Weal & Woe Wealth Effect Wealth Is The Product Of Man's Capacity To Think [Ayn Rand] Wealthy Beyond Measure & Squalid Beyond Description [NYC - Mid-19th Century] Wealthy Professor Weapons Of Peace Wear Off Wear Short Sleeves - Support Your Right To Bare Arms! Wearing Glasses During Math Class Improves Division Wearing Tight Shoes Makes You Forget All About Your Other Problems Weather Forecaster Weather Forecasters To Be Successful Always Forecasts Worse Than Actually Anticipated Weather-Wise, It’s Clouding Up Or It’s Clearing Up Weather-Wise, Rain Messes Things Up & Rain-Less Days Dry Things Up Web Isn’t Better Than Sex, But Sliced Bread Is In Serious Trouble Web Site For People With Dyslexia Is: Com.Dyslexia.www Web Site May Not Be Idiot Proof, But It Tries To Be Dimwit Resistant Web Surfing Is Like Sex, You Forget Where You've Been & How You Got There Webmasters Do It In Code Wed Woses, How Womantic! [Blazing Saddles, 1974] Wedded Bliss Wedding Announcements Originated From Intercourse, PA Wedding Cake, Magic Food That Lowers A Woman's Sex Drive By 90 Percent Wedding Dress For Sale, Worn Once By Mistake Wedgies Wedlock Is A Padlock [James J. Ray] Wee Bit Of Obliteration 182
Wee Folk Wee-Wee'd Up [Palin Pisser] Wee, Wee, Wee, All The Way Home Weed [Marijuana] Weed Is Plant Whose Virtues Have Not Yet Been Discovered [Ralph Waldo Emerson] Weeds Are Any Things Growing Outside Their Designated Areas Of Cultivation Weeds In A Changing World, Planting Hemp Skirtin' Highways & Byways? [C. H. Stirton] Week Is Six Days Of Sowing Wild Oats & One Day Of Praying For A Crop Failure Weekday Weekend Wasted Isn’t A Wasted Weekend Weenie Roast Weenie Roast: Hot Dog Chomping Orgy Weenie Roast: Hot Dog! – We’re Roasting Former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner, A Real Weenie We're All Weird & If We Find One Weird Like Us We Fall In Mutual Weirdness/Love [Seuss] Weetabix - Have You Had Your Weetabix Withabix, Withoutabix? Weight Of Rages Will Press Hard Upon The Employer [Dr Spooner 1844–1930-Wages] Weightlifting Gal’s Snatch Was Amazing! Weiner, A Real Wiener, Bared On iPhone [U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner] Weiner Did A Dumb Thing On A Smart Phone Welcome Back, Kotter Sweathog Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo De Huevos Epstein, Proud PR Jew Welcome Back, Kotter Sweathog Rosalie 'Hotsie' Totsie, Put 'Sweat' In Sweathog Welcome Bees To New Hive Swarming Party Welcome Change As The Rule, But Not As Your Ruler [Denis Waitley] Welcome, To Fantasy Island Welcome To The Annual Meeting Of Those Who Annually Meet, See You All Next Year Welcome To The Church Of The Holy Cabbage, Lettuce Pray Welcome To Upper Shit’s Creek! No, We Don’t Have Any Paddles To Spare! Welcome What You Can’t Avoid Welcomed Criticism Well Balanced Person, Has A Chip On Both Shoulders Well Behaved Women Never Make History [Maria Schriver] We'll Believe There Are 400 Billions Stars, But As To Wet Paint We Must Touch! Well-Boiled Icicle [Well-Oiled Bicycle] We’ll Cross That Bridge When We Come To it Well Done Well Done Is Better Than Well Said [Benjamin Franklin] Well Done Is Better Than Well Said Or Overdone Well Done Is Far Worse Than Medium Rare Well Done Steak Is Not Well Done, It Is Over Done We’ll Double Cross That Bridge When We Come To it [The Closer] We’ll Double Cross That Double-Crossing Double-Crosser When He Crosses Over Well Feed Me Nails & Call Me Rusty Well, Isn't That Special?! [Church Lady - Dana Carvey] Well! I've Often Seen A Cat Without A Grin; But A Grin Without A Cat! [Alice] Well-Known Secret Well, Now We Have A Firm Grasp Of The Obvious [Sherlock Holmes 2009] 183
Well, Of Course Not, Don't Be Ridiculous Well, Pin A Rose On Your Nose Well-Preserved Mummy Well-Preserved Ruins Well, This Is A Pickle... Actually, It's More Of A Kumquat [Bullwinkle] Well-Timed Silence Hath More Eloquence Than Speech [Martin Fraquhar Tupper] We’ll Trip Him While Triple-Crossing Him On This Last Trip You Mean! Wells Fargo Bank's Self-Valuation Not Based On Market Conditions Factors [Colbert Report] Welsh Rarebit Welsh Rarebit Or Rapidly Rabidly Referred To As Rabbit, Melted Cheese With Ale On Toast Wentroble Insurance Agency Inc For When Trouble Threatens [Monroeville, Pa] Went To San Francisco & Found Someone's Heart Went To School To Become A Wit, Only Got Halfway Through Went to the Birds We're All Born Mad, Some Remain So [Samuel Beckett] We're All Comics, Living In Comic Times. Worse It Gets The More Comic We Are [Gaddis] We're All Going Down The Same Road In Different Directions We're All In The Gutter, But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars [Oscar Wilde] We're All In This Alone [Lily Tomlin] We're All People Of Color, We Just Come In Different Shades We're All Virtual Prisoners, Held Captive By The Limits Of Imagination We're Alone We're Alone In Empty Space We're Alone Together We're Born Naked, Wet & Hungry, Then Things Got Worse We're Confronted With Insurmountable Opportunities [Pogo] We're Going To Have Peace Even If We Have To Fight For It [Dwight D. Eisenhower] We're Governed Not By Armies & Police But By Ideas [Mona Caird] We're Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time We’re Here To Pump [Clapping] You Up [Saturday Night Live] We’re More Than What We Eat, But It Can Help Us Be More Than What We Are [A. Davis] We're Not Anticipating Any Emergencies We're Not Anticipating Any Emergencies, Of Which You Shall Have Due & Timely Notice We're Not Humans On A Spiritual Journey, We Are Spiritual Beings On A Human Journey We're Not Retreating, We Are Advancing In Another Direction We're Not Retreating, We Are Advancing The Rear We're Not Retreating, We Are Merely Marching Backwards We're Number Two, We Try Harder [Avis Rental Car] We’re Out Of Money, So Now We Must Think We're Overpaying Him, But He's Worth It [Samuel Goldwyn] We're Ready For Any Unforeseen Event That May Or May Not Occur [Dan Quayle] We're Surrounded By Insurmountable Opportunity [Pogo] We're The People Our Parents Warned Us About [Jimmy Buffett] We're The Product Of Choices We Make, Not Circumstances That We Face [Roger Crawford] We're Too Proud To Beg. That's Why WE ARE SCREAMING FOR HELP [GOTD] We're Upping Our Standards ... So Up Yours! [Presidential Candidate Pat Paulsen - 1988] 184
We're What We Love [Erick Erickson] We're What We Think [Buddha] Were You My Husband, I'd Poison Your Tea [Lady Astor] Were You My Wife, I'd Drink It [Churchill] Were You Twice As Smart As You Are Now, You'd Still Be Half Assed Western Civilization 'Would Be An Excellent Idea' [M.K. Gandhi] Western Mastiff Bat Wet & Dry Wet Back Wet Back Wet Pants Wet Dream Wet Drywall Wet Spot Wetback Described Originally US Slaves With 'Wet Backs' From Swimming To Freedom Wetback Later Became Slur To Describe Mexicans Who Figuratively Swam The Rio Grande Wetback: Mexican Migrant Worker Who Illegally Fords Rio Grande River To Work In U.S. Wetbacks: Turtles Of All Kinds When Submerged Wetback’s Wet Dream Wetlands We've Never Been Closer To Shipping Than We Are Right Now [Kelly Norman] Whack! Negatively Are You Out Of Whack, Whacko, Whacky, Whacked Or A Whackjob? Whack! Or Positively Are You Whacking Good Or An Impressive Whacker? Whack! Then Again You May Just Be A Self-Sufficient Whack-Off Whacked Away Until It Became Out Of Whack Whale Tail Whale’s Tail What A Chick I Twittered, We Must Flock Together What A Man Can Be, He Must Be [Harlow] What A Sober Man Thinks, A Drunkard Speaks What A Splendid Head, Yet No Brain [Aesop] What About Gruntled Employees & Who Has Been Dis-ing Them Anyhow? What An Idea. What A Mad, Crazy, Wonderful Idea [Alice] What Are The Three Words Guaranteed To Humiliate Men Everywhere? ‘Hold My Purse’ What Boots Up Must Come Down What Cannot Be Cured Must Be Endured What Color Is God's Skin? ‘It's Black, Brown, Yellow... It’s Red, Its White’ [Up With People] What Comes To Those Who Wait Was Left By Those Coming First What Did I Tell You Last Time About Not Listening? What Do You Call A Dog With No Legs? It Doesn't Matter, He Won't Come! What Do You Get Crossing The Godfather With A Lawyer? - An Offer You Can't Understand What Do You Get Not Crossing The Godfather? - An Offer You Can't Refuse What Do You Mean My Birth Certificate Expired? What Do You Mean My Birth Certificate Expired, Ghost Asked Doctor Writing Death Certificate What Do You Think Of Western Civilization? ‘I Think It Would Be A Good Idea’ [Gandhi] What Does A Man Do Standing, A Woman Sitting & A Dog On Three Legs? What Does A Woman Hopes She Will Find Hard To Handle? 185
What Doesn't Kill Enlivens You What Doesn't Kill You.... Is TORTURE! What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Better What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Bitter What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger [Friedrich Nietzsche] What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Weaker [Noam Shpancer, PhD] What Goes Around Usually Gets Dizzy & Falls Over What Goes Up Must Come Down What God Hath Joined Together Let Not Man Put Asunder [Matthew 19:6] What Good Is Ticket To Good Life If You Can't Find Entrance? What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice? What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas What Has Been Seen Cannot Be Unseen What Has Been Seen Of The Unseen Is Usually Unseemly What Has Eight Wheels & Flies? – A Garbage Truck What He Lacks In Intelligence, He More Than Makes Up In Stupidity What If All Is An Illusion & Nothing Exists? If So, I Sure Overpaid For My Face Lift! What If Sum Of All Intelligence On Earth Is Constant, While Population Keeps Growing? What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions? [George Carlin] What Is A Free Gift? Aren't All Gifts Free By Definition? What Is A Solo Played On A Private Organ? What Is Black & White & Red All Over? – A Newspaper What Is Brown & Sticky? Duh! A Brown Stick! Do You Have A Shittier Answer? What Is-Is, What Was-Will Be; What Will Be-Was, But Will Be Again [Arnold Horshack] What Is Known Is A Drop, What Is Unknown Is An Ocean What Is Least Expected Generally Happens What Is Prudence For Every Family, Can Scarce Be Folly For A Great Kingdom [Adam Smith] What Is The Truth, But An Agreed Upon Lie? What Isn't Done Is Always More Important Than What Is Done What Lies Behind & Before Us Are Tiny Compared To The Lies Within What Lies Behind & Before Us Are Tiny Compared To What Lies Within [Emerson] What Makes Hormone? Really Bad Pun As ‘She Sold Her Body For Some Whores D’Oeuvres’ What Matters Is Not The Length Of The Wand, But The Magic In The Stick What May Be Done At Any Time Will Be Done At No Time [Scottish Saying] What Men Learn From History Is That Men Do Not Learn From History What Orators Lack In Depth They Make Up In Length What Really Matters Is Not The Color Of One's Skin, But The Color Of One's Heart What Really Matters Is What It Is, Not What You Call It What Really Matters Is What You Call It, Not What It Is What Sane Person Could Live In This World And Not Be Crazy? [Ursula K. LeGuin] What Species - Genus Are You? Call Me Genus Humanus [Alice & Rose] What The Eye Doesn't See, The Heart Doesn't Grieve Over What The Lofty Get Away With, The Lowly Don't What The Superior Seeks Is In Himself; What The Small Seeks Is In Others [Confucius] What This Country Needs Are More Unemployed Politicians [Edward Langley] What This Country Needs Is A Good 10 Cent Cigar, NOT! 186
What This Power Is I Cannot Say, All I Know Is That It Exists [Alexander Graham Bell] What To Do When Endangered Animals Are Eating Endangered Plants? What Was The Best Thing Before Sliced Bread? - It's Still The Best! What We Achieve Inwardly Will Change Outer Reality [Otto Rank] What We Do For Ourselves Dies With Us, What We Do For Others Remains & Is Immortal What We Do For The World &Others Remains & Is Immortal [Albert Pine] What We Fight Against Defines Us As Clearly As All We Embrace What We Need Now Is Some New, Fresh Clichés [Samuel Goldwyn] What We Need Now Is To Discover Some New, Fresh Goldwynisms What We Want & What We Need Has Been Confused [REM] What We've Got Here Is Failure To Communicate [Cool Hand Luke, 1967] What Would You Do For A Klondike® Bar? What You Cannot Enforce, Do Not Command [Sophocles] What You Do Not Want Done To Yourself, Do Not Do To Others [Confucius 551-479BC] What You Do Speaks So Loudly That I Cannot Hear What You Say [Ralph Waldo Emerson] What You Do Today Can Improve All Your Tomorrows [Ralph Marston] What You Don't Do Is Always More Important Than What You Do Do What You Don't See With Your Eyes, Don't Witness With Your Mouth [Jewish Proverb] What You Hear About Fleas & Ticks Is All Lice What You Lose On The Swings You Gain On The Roundabouts What You Seize Is What You Get What You Talkin' 'Bout? [Diff'rent Strokes] What You Think You Know Is What You Think You Know, *What You Know Is What You Know! What You Know Is More Important Than What You Have Been Taught To Believe [Emerson] What You Resist Persists [Carl Jung 1875-1961] Whatcha Gonna Do When Hulkamania Runs Wild On You? [Hulk Hogan – WWF] Whatever Bad Opinions Of You There Are, Only You Can Keep Them From Being True Whatever Causes The Greatest Inconvenience For The Largest Number Will Happen Whatever Creates Greatest Inconvenience For Largest Number Must Happen Whatever Happens Behave As Though You Meant It To Happen Whatever Good Happenstance Happens, Behave As Though You Meant It To Happen Whatever Hits The Fan Will Not Be Evenly Distributed Whatever Isn't Forbidden Is Permitted [Common Law] Whatever Isn't Forbidden Is Required [Gell-Mann's Dictum] Whatever Isn't Permitted Is Forbidden [Napoleonic Code] Whatever It Is, I Didn't Do It! Whatever It Is, I Didn't Do It, Unless It's An Inheritance & Then I'm It! Whatever It Takes! Whatever Kind Of Look You Were Going For, You Missed! Whatever Starts In California Unfortunately Has Inclination To Spread [Jimmy Carter] Whatever Temperature The Room Is, It's Always Room-Temperature Whatever The Mind Can Conceive It Can Achieve [W. Clement Stone] Whatever The Mind Of Man Can Conceive & Believe, It Can Achieve [Napoleon Hill] Whatever The Problem, Be Part Of The Solution [Tina Fey] Whatever You Do, Do With All Your Might 187
Whatever You Do In Life, 90 Percent Of It Is Half Mental Whatever You Do Will Be Insignificant, But It Is Very Important That You Do It [Gandhi] What'll It Be Dear? You Can't Ride Two Horses With One Ass [Sweet Home Alabama] What's A Thousand Dollars? Mere Chicken Feed! A Poultry Matter!!! [Groucho Marx] What's Another Word For Thesaurus? The Right Word! [Steven Wright] What's At Stake Here, T-Bone Juncture? [The Secret Armory Of General Knoxx]? What's Brown, Smells & Sounds Like An Off-Key Bell? Dung! Dung! Dung! What's Difference Between Ignorance & Apathy? - I Don't Know & I Don't Care What's Done Is Done What's Good Economics Is Bad Politics; What's Bad Economics Is Good Politics What's Good Politics Is Bad Economics; What's Bad Politics Is Good Economics What's My Pee Telling Me? [Josh Richman & Anish Sheth, MD] What's Your Poo Telling You? [Josh Richman & Anish Sheth, MD] What's Not What's Past Is Prologue What's Right Is What's Left If You Do Everything Else Wrong [Robin Williams] What's Sauce For The Goose Is Sauce For The Gander What's The Beef? What's The Best Thing About Babies? Making Em'! What's The Matta, Chelsa? He Called You A ‘Mother’ On Mother’s Day For Being A Mother What's The Matter? What's The Speed Of Dark? What's The Use Of A Good Quotation If You Can't Change It? [Dr. Who] What’s, Up Doc? [Bugs Bunny] What's What What's What & What's Not What's Worth Doing Is Worth Doing For Money [Joseph Donohue] What's Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well Wheel Is Turning, But The Hamster Is Dead Wheel That Does The Squeaking Is The One That Gets The Grease [Henry Wheeler Shaw] Wheelbarrow Work Culture Is Where Workers Only Work When Pushed & Are Easily Upset Wheelchair Basketball Wheeled Walker Wheel's Invention Caused Revolutions & Reveling Wheels Of Justice, They're Square Wheels [Barbara Cororan] When A Clever Man Makes A Mistake, Does He Make A Mistake? When A Man Brings His Wife Flowers For No Reason, There's A Reason [Molly McGee] When A Toothache Comes, You Forget Your Headache When A Villain & Victim Meet, 'It's An Eye For An Eye' When All Else Fails, Admit I’m Right & Kiss My Ass When All Else Fails, Check The Plug When All Else Fails, Follow The Instructions When All Else Fails, Lower Your Standards When All Else Fails, Play Dead [Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati] When All Else Fails, Procrastinate When All Else Fails, Punt/Bunt! 188
When All Else Fails, Quit! When All Else Fails Read The Instructions When All Else Fails, Tell The Truth!!! When All Men Think Alike, No Man Thinks Very Much When All Think Alike, Then No One Is Thinking [Walter Lippmann] When All's Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane & Going The Wrong Way When An Old Man Dies, A Library Burns Down [African Proverb] When Angry Count Four, When Very Angry Swear [Mark Twain] When Anything Is Used To Its Full Potential, It Will Break When Asked How Long I'd Be Gone, I Said, 'The Whole Time' When At The End Of Rope, Tie A Knot & Hold On [Theodore Roosevelt] When Blondes Have More Fun, Do They Know It? When Brains Are Needed, Brawn Won’t Help When Chemist Died From Barium Enema, We Barium When Choosing Between Two Evils I Choose The One I Haven't Tried Before [Mae West] When Climbing The Ladder Of Success, Lady, Don’t Hit Head On Glass Ceiling When Climbing The Ladder Of Success, Lady, Don't Let The Boys Look Up Your Skirt! When Dangling, Don't Use Participles When Darkness Prevails & Silence Governs, Only Then I Can See & Hear Everything! When Debate Is Lost, Slander Becomes The Tool Of The Loser [Socrates] When Do Teenagers Start Having Sex? - They Start Early In The Morning & Go All Night When Enough Is Enough, You’ll Always Have Enough When Every Night, The Set That's Smart Is Intruding In Nudist Parties, Anything Goes When Everything's Coming up Roses You Forgot To Plant The Corn When Everything's Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane, Going The Wrong Way When Einstein Saw His Cousin's Boobs, He Saw 'Theory Of Relative Titty' When Fighting Fire With Fire, Remember Fire Fighters Use Water When He Feels Like Working, He Knows Enough To Stay Seated Until The Feeling Passes When Given A Choice, People Will Always Do The Dumbest Thing Under The Circumstances When He Worked He Really Worked, But When He Played He Really PLAYED [Dr. Seuss] When Heart Grieves Over What It Lost, The Spirit Rejoices Over What It Has Left [Sufi] When Husband Put In Doghouse, He Soon Goes To Cat House When I Die I Hope To Go To Heaven, Whatever The Hell That Is? [Ayn Rand] When I Die, I Want To Go Peacefully, Not Screaming, Like Those In This Car When I Drink I Think & When I Think I Drink [Francois Rabelais] When I Had Nothing To Lose, I Had Everything [Paulo Coelho] When I Let Go Of What I Am, I Become What I Might Be [Lao Tsu 600-400BC] When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking, It Drove Me To Give Up Reading When I Stopped Being Who I Am, I Found Myself [Paulo Coelho] When I Think Positive It Doesn't Work! When I Want Your Opinion, I'll Give It To You! [Marigold Hotel] When I Was A Kid My Parents Moved A Lot, But I Always Found Them [Rodney Dangerfield] When I Was Kidnapped My Parents Snapped Into Action, They Rented Out My Room When Ideas Fail, Words Come In Very Handy When Ignorance Gets Started It Knows No Bounds [Will Rogers] When I’m Good I’m Very, Very Good, But When I’m Bad, I’m Better [Mae West] 189
When I’m Good I’m Very, Very Good, But When I’m Bad I’m Horrid, Sizzed Girl With Curl When I’m Not In My Right Mind, My Left Mind Gets Pretty Crowded When I’m Not Near The Girl I Love, I Love The Girl I’m Near When I’m Right Nobody Remembers, When I’m Wrong Nobody Forgets When I’m Sad, I Sing, & Then The World Is Sad With Me When In Crowd & No One Has Your Back, It's Time To Back Away & Move Your Back When In Charge, Ponder When In Doubt, A Humble Mumble Wins The Day When In Doubt Be Presidential, Guess! When In Doubt, Bunt/Punt! When In Doubt, Do It, It's Easier To Get Forgiveness Later [Adm. Grace Hopper] When In Doubt, Duck [Malcolm Forbes] When In Doubt Leave It Out [,] A Comma That Is When In Doubt Mumble! When In Doubt Mumble, When In Trouble Delegate, When In Charge Ponder When In Doubt Mumble, When In Trouble Stumble, When In A House Of Ill Repute Tumble When In Doubt, Pout! When In Doubt, Predict That Present Trends Will Continue When In Doubt Tell The Truth [Mark Twain] When In Doubt Tell The Truth, When The Truth Hurts Raise A Doubt When In Rome, Do As The Romans Do When In Trouble, Delegate When Indian Chief Shortcake Died, Squaw Bury Shortcake When Is A Baggage Transfer Fee Not A Tip? When Tips Aren’t Reimbursed! When Is A Facilitating Payment Not A Bribe? When The Regulators Say So! When Is A Think Tank A Stink Tank? When It Plays Jeopardy [BJL] When It Comes To Chocolate, Resistance Is Futile! When It Comes To Giving, Some People Stop At Nothing When It Rains, It Pours [Morton Salt] When It Was Hip To Be Hep, I Was Hep [Blossom Dearie] When It’s Dark Enough, Right Before The Dawn, You Can See The Stars When It’s Dark Enough, You Can See The Stars [Charles A. Beard] When It’s Not Necessary To Make A Decision, It’s Necessary Not To Make A Decision When Lies Turn Into Truth [Within Temptation - Frozen] When Life Gives You 100 Reasons To Cry, Show It You Have 1000 Reasons To Smile When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade When Making Love, Most Men Fantasize Their Wives Aren't Fantasizing When My Kleptomania Gets Real Bad, I Take Something For It When One Can Say A Wrong Thing, One Will When One Is Trying To Be Elegant & Sophisticated, One Won't When One Must, One Can [Az Me Muz, Ken Men] When People Are Free To Do As They Please, They Do As The Others Please [Eric Hoffer] When Plane You're On Is Late, Plane Your Connecting With Is On Time When Polls Are In Your Favor, Flaunt Them; When Against You Ridicule & Dismiss Them When Present You Wish To Be Absent, When Absent You Wish To Be Present [Antithesis] When Riding Elephant, Take One Step At Time; When Eating One, Take One Bite At Time 190
When Right Can't Be Too Radical; When Wrong Can't Be Too Conservative [M.L. King Jr] When Science Gets Icky, It's Alright To Get Si----cky [Science Dude - Bones] When She Swear She’s His & He Vows Undying Passion, One Is Lying [Dorothy Parker] When Silence Is Needed You Speak, When Speech Is Needed You Are Dumb [Antithesis] When Solving A Problem It Always Helps To First Know The Answer When Standing On A Cliff's Edge A Step Forward Is Not Progress When Stars Are Out They Are Visible, But When Lights Are Out They Are Invisible When Stupidity Explains It All Other Explanations Are Superfluous When The Blind Lead The Blind They Will Both Fall Over The Cliff When The Cat's Away The Mice Will Play When The Character Of A Man Is Not Clear To You, Look At His Friends When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Satisfied When The Dead Walk, The Living Will Fill These Coffins [Sherlock Holmes 2009] When The Game Is Over The King & Pawn Go Back In The Same Box [Covert Affairs] When The Going Gets Tough, Everybody Leaves When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Use Duct Tape When The Going Gets Tough, Upgrade When The Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro When The House Of A Neighbor Is On Fire, Your Own Is In Danger When The King Of Beverages Was Outlawed, Outlaws Became King! When The Legend Becomes Fact, Print The Legend [Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, 1962] When The Lights Are Out, All Women Are Beautiful When The Plane You Are On Is Late, Your Connecting Flight Is On Time When The Pin Is Pulled, Mr. Grenade Is Not Our Friend When The Polls Are In Your Favor Flaunt Them When The Polls Are Unfavorable Ridicule & Dismiss Them When The President Does It, That Means That It's Not Illegal [Richard Nixon] When The Shit Hits The Fan It Won't Be Evenly Distributed When The Silent Majority Opens Its Mouth It's Usually To Yawn When The Smog Lifts In Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. When The Times Speaks, The World Listens When The Truth Hurts, Raise A Doubt When The Will Is Ready The Feet Are Light When There's A Will, I Want To Be In It When There's A Will, There’s A Way Where There’s Great Love, There Are Always Wishes When They Left I Left [To The Left] & I Have Nothing Left to Say [Once Upon A crime 1992] When They Say Doctors Are Practicing, They Aren't Kidding When They Want It Bad, They Get It Bad When Things Are Going Well, Someone Will Inevitably Experiment Detrimentally When Things Are Going Well, Something Will Go Wrong When Things Don’t Turn Out How You Plan You Plan How To Turn Them Around When Things Just Can't Get Any Worse, They Will When Things Go Wrong Don't Go With Them 191
When Two Admirals Meet, 'It's An Aye For An Aye' When Two Egotists Meet, 'It's An I For An I' When Two Meet To Decide How To Spend A Third Person's Money, Fraud Will Result When Up To Ass In Alligators, It's Hard To Remember You're There To Drain The Swamp When Vultures Fly Roosting, Are They Allowed Carrion Luggage? When Waitress Brings Dinner Younger Men Look At Waitress, Older Men Do To! When We Decode A Cookbook, Every One Of Us Is A Practicing Chemist When We Forget Ourselves Is When We Do Things That Are Most Likely To Be Remembered When We Lose I Eat, When We Win I Eat; Also When We're Rained Out [Tommy Lasorda] When We Lose Right To Be Different, We Lose Privilege To Be Free [Charles Evans Hughes] When We Talk About War, We're Really Talking About Peace [George W. Bush] When Will A Chickens Be Able To Cross A Road & Not Have Its Motives Questioned? When Women Go Wrong, Men Go Right After Them [Mae West] When Ya Finds Yo'self In A Peach Orchard, Ya Don't Look For Rutabagas [Kingfish] When You Are In It Up To Your Mouth, Keep It Shut! When You Are In Texas & You Hear Hoof Beats, Think Horses, Not Zebras When You Are Over The Hill, You Pick Up Speed When You Are Right Be Logical, When You Are Wrong Be-Fuddle When You Assume You Make An Ass Out Of U & Me When You Become Senile, You Won't Know It [Bill Cosby] When You Can't Have What You Want, Start Wanting What You Have [Kathleen A. Sutton] When You Come To The Fork In The Road Enjoy It! When You Come To The Fork In The Road Take It! When You Confront A Problem You Begin To Solve It [Rudy Giuliani] When You Die, You Lose A Very Important Part Of Your Life [Brooke Shields When You Don't Know Better, You Don’t Really Worry About Failing When You Don’t Know What Harbor Your Making For, No Wind Is The Right Wind [Seneca] When You Don't Know What To Do, Walk Fast & Look Worried When You Don't Know What You Are Doing, Do It Neatly When You Doubt Your Powers, You Give Powers To Your Doubt When You Dream In Color, It's A Pigment Of Your Imagination When You Have Nothing To Say, Say Nothing When You Know, You Know When You Least Expect Me, Expect Me When You Make Your Mark In The World, Watch Out For Guys With Erasers [WSJ] When You Reach The End Of Your Rope, Tie A Knot In It & Hang On [Thomas Jefferson] When You Realize You've Made A Mistake, Take Immediate Steps To Correct It [Dali Lama] When You Stop Learning, You Start Dying When You Take A Shower Be Sure To Bring It Back When You Take A Shower Bring It Back, Go Back In Backing In Backwards & Do Your Back When You Want It Bad, You Get It Bad When Your Chest Falls Into Your Drawers That's Furniture Disease When Your Computer Notified You Of A Fatal Error, Who Died? When Your Dreams Turn To Dust, It's Time To Vacuum When Your Dreams Turn To Dust, Vacuum Up & Inhale When Your Only Tool Is A Hammer, All Problems Start To Look Like Nails 192
When Your Opponent Is Down Kick Him, If He Can't Kick Back When Your Opponent Is Down, Kick Him; If He Kicks Back, Shot Him, If You Miss, Run! When Your Ship Comes In Make Sure You Are Willing To Unload It When Your Time Is Up, It's Time To Wrap It Up & Shut Up! When You're Away, I’m Wretched, Dejected Dear, The Same I Feel When You Are Near When You're Holding All The Cards, Why Does Everyone Else Want To Play Chess? When You’re In It Up To Your Ears, Keep Your Mouth Shut When You're In It Up To Your Nose, Keep Your Mouth Shut & Don't Inhale When You're Right, No One Remembers; When You're Wrong, No One Forgets When You're Up To Your Ass In Alligators, Hard To Remember You’re Here To Drain Swamp When You're Up To Your Nose, Keep Your Mouth Shut [Henry Fonda] When You've Seen One Shopping Center You've Seen A Mall Whenever I Hear Word 'Culture' I Remove Safety From My Browning! [1933 Play Schlageter] Whenever One Argues For Slavery I Want To See It Tried On Him Personally [Lincoln] Whenever The People's Cause Is Entrusted To Professors, It Is Lost [Lenin] Whenever Two Hypotheses Cover The Facts, Use The Simpler Of The Two Whenever Wherever Whenever You Find You’re On The Side Of The Majority, It Is Time To Reform [Mark Twain] Whenever You Find Yourself Behind The Group, Just Turn Around & Lead Whenever You Have A Terrific Idea, Someone Else Has Already Dissed It Whenever You Have An Efficient Government You Have A Dictatorship [Harry S Truman] Whenever You Side With ‘The Majority, It Is Time To Pause & Reflect’ [Mark Twain] Whenever You're Wrong Admit It, Whenever You're Right Shut Up [Ogden Nash] Where Application Says 'In Case Of Emergency Notify ------,' I Fill In 'Doctor’ Where Are The Calculations For Calculating Calculated Risks? Where Are The Calculations That Justified The Calculated Risk? Where Do Forest Rangers Go To 'Get Away From It All?' [George Carlin] Where Do I Find The Time For Not Reading So Many Books? [Karl Kraus] Where Do The Seeds To Plant Seedless Watermelons Come From? Where Do You Go To Get Anorexia? [Shelley Winters] Where Does 'Hobby' End & 'Mental Illness' Begin? Where Does Revenge End & Justice Begin? Where Does The White Go When The Snow Melts? Where Does The Yellow Go When You Brush Your Teeth With Pepsodent? Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? Where In The World Is Jack Daniels? [Jimmy Fallon] Where Law Ends, Tyranny Begins [Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, Quoting Margaret Thatcher] Where The Elite Meet To Eat [Duffy’s Tavern - Archie The Manager Speakin', Duffy Ain't Here] Where The Rubber Meets The Road [Firestone Tires] Where The Truth Lies Where The Younger Generations Are Headed Depends On Where They Came From Where There's A Will, I Want To Be In It [Bumper Sticker] Where There's A Will, There Is A Way Where There's A Will, There Are Five Hundred Relatives Where There's A Will There Are Willing Relatives With Wills & Ways To Horn In Where There’s An Open Mind There Will Always Be A Frontier [Charles Kettering] 193
Where There’s Life, There Is Hope Where There's Muck There's Brass Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire Where Willingness Is Great, The Difficulties Cannot Be Great [Machiavelli] Where Wouldn't I Expect It To Be [I Ask Myself] & I Go There [Wanderlust] Where You Need Intellect, Strength Will Not Do Where's The Beef? [Wendy's Ads] Where's The Mama? [Dinosaurs 1991] Where’s The Self-Help Section? - 'Find It Yourself!’ Where's The Self-Help Section, He Asked? ‘Telling You Would Defeat The Purpose’ Where, To Be Frank, Is The Guy Named Frank In Frankfurter? Whether Or Not Sex Is Better Than Pot, Depends On The Pusher Whether You Sit Up Or Sit Down, The End Result Is The Same Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can't, You’re Right [Henry Ford] Whether You Think You Might Or You Mightn’t You’re Write’en [Your Literary Agent] Which Is Harder, Arguing With Zealot Or Tunneling Through Mountain With Your Forehead? Which Is Worse, Speaking & Wishing You Hadn’t, Or Not Speaking & Wishing You Had? Which Witch? Whiggers: Irish Rednecks While I Can’t Walk On Water, I Can Stagger On Alcohol While Not Having Invented A Sin, I’m Trying To Perfect Several While There's Life There's Hope While You Can't Make Brand New Start, You Can Start Now To Make Brand New Ending While Money Doesn't Buy Love, It Puts You In A Great Bargaining Position While Opinions Change, The Conviction Of Their Correctness Never Does While The Poor Man Cannot Always Get Meat, The Rich Man Cannot Always Digest It Whine For Wine Whiny Child Whipped Whirligig Beetle Whirling Dervish Whirlpool Capture Whirlwind Defense Whirlybird Whiskey Still Whisper My Favorite Words: ‘I'll Buy It For You’ Whistleblower White Arses [Wheatarses/Wheatears]* White Ass, Cornwallian Name For Wheatear [Also Horse Musher, Fuzz Chat & Jobbler] White Ass Cracker [Redneck With An Unsun- Burned Behind] White Ass Cracker [Tushie Burping Redneck] White Ass Cracker, Cross Between Cornwall’s White Ass/Arse & Bhutan’s Cone Cracker White Ass Cracker, No Known Relationship To Cracker Bird, LLC Of Burlington, CT White-Bread Blandness White-Cheeked Bushtits* White Chocolate 194
White Elephant White Feather White Gold White House Is A Metonym For POTUS [President Of The United States] White Lie White Man [Not White] White-Necklaced Partridges* White Negro White Night White Noise White Rabbit: I’m Late, I’m Late, For A Very Important Date [Alice] White Rabbit: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye; I’m Late, I’m Late, I’m Late White Rose White Rumped Robins* White Smoke Means Pope; Black Smoke Means Nope [No Pope] White Sound White-Throated Swallows* White Trash Whitebeard's Useless Information Suppository Whitewater Is Over When The First Lady Sings [Pat Nixon] Whitey, Derogatory Term For All Caucasians Including Rednecks, Crackers & Yankees Who Are These Kids & Why Are They Calling Me Dad? Who Are You & How Did You Get In Here? 'I'm A Locksmith & I'm A Locksmith' Who Are You Going To Believe, Me Or Your Lyin' Eyes? [Groucho Marx] Who Can Hear The Silent Screams? Who Cares How Time Advances? I Am Drinking Ale Today [Edgar Allan Poe] Who Controls The Past Controls The Future [1984] Who Controls The Present Controls The Past [1984] Who Could It Be? Could It Be, Satan? [Church Lady - Dana Carvey] Who Has Not Served Cannot Command Who laughs, LASTS! Who Loves Ya Baby? [Kojak] Who Put The ‘S’ In Lisp? Who Puts The ‘Thin Ice’ Sign In The Middle Of The Thin Ice On The Lake? Who Really Knows If There Are Differences Between Their, There & They're Who Still Watches TV On A TV Anyway? [Thomas Hardy] Who Stopped Payment On My Reality Check? Who The Hell Wants To Hear Actors Talk? [H.M. Warner, Warner Bros 1927] Who Wears The Pants? Who Wears The Pants? – Everyone! Who Wears The Scottish Plaid Skirts? Who Wears The Trousers? Who, What, When, Where, Why & How? Who, What, When, Where, Why, How & Oh, Of Course, WOW? [Barry J. Lipson] Who Will Ring The Bell? Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters! 195
Whoever Angers You, Conquers You Whoever Called It ‘Necking’ Was Missing The Marks & A Poor Judge Of Anatomy Whoever Controls The Media Controls The Mind [Jim Morrison] Whoever Exalts Himself Will Be Humbled [Matthew 23:12] Whoever Gossips To You, Will Gossip About You [Spanish Proverb] Whoever Has The Gold Makes The Rules Whoever Humbles Himself Will Be Exalted [Matthew 23:12] Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy [Groucho Marx] Whoever One Marries One Is Sure To Find Out In Morn ‘It Was Someone Else' [Will Rogers] Whoever Said Money Can't Buy Happiness Didn't Know Where To Shop Whoever Said Nothing Was Impossible Never Tried Slamming A Revolving Door Whoever Said The Hand Is Quicker Than The Eye Must Have Felt Him Cop A Feel Whoever Said The Hand Is Quicker Than The Eye Must Have Seen Him Feel A Cop Whoever Said The Hand Is Quicker Than The Eye Never Rolled Them Down A Ramp Whoever Says Money Cannot Buy You Happiness Doesn't Know Where To Shop Whole Ball Of Wax Whole Caboodle Whole Enchilada Whole Food's ‘Grab & Go Seafood’! – Free? [Not: ‘Grab, Pay & Go Seafood’] Whole Half Whole Hemisphere Whole Holly Hole Whole Kit & Boodle Whole Kit & Caboodle Whole Milk Whole Name Whole New Ball Game Whole Nine Yards Whole Nine Yards, Third Better Than Whole Six Yards But Less Than The Whole Enchilada? Whole Part Whole Percentage Whole Piece Whole Portion Whole Shebang Whole Shooting Match Whole Six Yards Whole Snipe Whole Some Whole-Souled Allegiance Whole Meal Wholemeal Wholesale Wholesome Wholly Convinced Wholly Unconvinced Whom Are You? He Asked, For He Had Attended Business College [George Ade] 196
Whom The Gods Love Die Young Whoop It Up Whopper Junior Whopping Pittance [Doonesbury] Whores Store Their Wares In A Warehouse & Do Their Chores In A Whorehouse Whore's Wages: $2.00 Bill [1920s]; Also Deuce, Tom, TJ Or Jefferson & A Legit Dead Prez Who's General Failure & Why Is He Reading My Hard Disk? Who's John Galt? [Ayn Rand] Who's Making That Smell? [Philip Hawthorn] Who's More Foolish, Child Afraid Of The Dark Or Man Afraid Of The Light? [Maurice Freehill] Who's That Toady Toad On That Toadstool? Who's The Fairest In The Land? Snow White Or The Wicked Queen? Who's The Fairest In The Land? The Honest Judge! Who's The Mama? [Dinosaurs 1991] Who's Village's Oldest Inhabitant? No One, We Had One, But He Died Three Weeks Ago Whose Cruel Idea Was It For The Word 'Lisp' To Have A 'S' In It? [George Carlin] Whoso Diggeth A Pit Shall Fallith Therein [Proverb] Whuppity Stoorie Is Rumpelstiltskin, Tom Tit Tot & Ootz-Li Gootz [Scottish, English & Israeli] Why Are Killed People Killed To Show People Killing People Is Wrong? [Death Penalty] Why Are Lethal Injection Needles Sterilized? Why Are Our Days Numbered & Not, Say, Lettered ? Why Are The Paranoids Following Me? Why Are The Stupid So Cocksure & The Intelligent So Full Of Doubt? Why Are They Called Apartments, When They're All Stuck Together? Why Are They Called Tamp-Ons And Not Tamp-Ins? Why Are They Sad & Glad & Bad? I Don’t Know, Go Ask Your Dad [Dr. Seuss] Why Are You So Late? I Had To Make Up -- With The Chauffeur! [Appassionata] Why Are There Five Syllables In The Word 'Monosyllabic'? Why Be Politically Correct If You Can Be Right? [Erik V. Petersen] Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free Why Buy Shampoo When Real Poo Is Still Free? Why Can't You Be A Non-Conformist Like Everyone Else? Why Did Snoopy Quit The Comic Strip? Because He Was Tired Of Working For Peanuts Why Did You Name Him Sam? Every Tom, Dick & Harry Is Named Sam! [S. Goldwyn] Why Do Croutons Come In Airtight Packages, Their Just Stale Bread After All? Why Do Kamikaze Pilots Wear Helmets? Why Do People Say ‘No Offense’ When They're About To Offend Someone? Why Do People With Closed Minds Always Open Their Mouths? Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name? Why Do Stores Always Put Their Slowest Clerks In The ‘Express’ Lane? Why Do They Lock Gas Station Bathrooms, Are They Afraid Someone Will Clean Them? Why Do They Put Braille On The Drive-Through Bank Machines? [George Carlin] Why Do They Use Sterile Needles For Lethal Injections? Why Do You Sit There Looking Like An Envelope Without Any Address On It? [Mark Twain] Why Does A Slight Tax Increase Cost $200 & A Substantial Tax Cut Save Thirty Cents ? Why Does Sea World Have A Seafood Restaurant? Losers Serve Too! [Lynda Montgomery] 197
Why Does Night Fall But Never Break & Day Break But Never Fall? Why Does Sour Cream Have An Expiration Date? Why Don't Sheep Shrink When It Rains? [George Carlin] Why Don't They Make Mouse-Flavored Cat Food? Why Don't They Make The Whole Airplane Out Of That Orange Black Box Stuff? [S. Wright] Why Don't You Pair ‘Em Up In Threes? [Yogi Berra] Why Don't You Slip Into Something More Comfortable - Like A Coma! Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out? [Dr. Seuss] Why Is A Cookie Baked & Bacon Cooked? Why Is ‘Abbreviation’ Such A Long Word? Why Is ‘One’ Loneliest Number, You Can Clear Out A Room Even Faster With ‘Number Two’ Why Is One Who Invests Your Money Called A Broker? Why Is It Called ‘After Dark’ When It Really Is ‘After Light’? Why Is It Called Lipstick If You Can Still Move Your Lips After Applying It? Why Is It That Most Nudists Are People You Wouldn’t Want To See Naked? Why Is Lemonade Made From Artificial Flavors & Furniture Polish From Real Lemons? Why Is The Alphabet In Alphabetic Order? Why Is The Man Who Invests All Your Money Called A ‘Broker’ ? Why Is The Third Hand On The Watch Called The Second Hand? Why Is There An Expiration Date On Sour Cream? [George Carlin] Why Keep A Dog & Bark Yourself? Why ‘Laugh At Science Fiction’ & ‘Listen To Weather Forecasts & Economists’? [K Throop 3] Why Make Things Difficult, When It Is Possible To Make Them Cryptic & Totally Illogical? Why Measure With A Micrometer, Mark Precisely, Then Cut With An Axe? Why Men Act The Way They Do – Picturing Gal [Readers Digest] Why Pay For Bad Movies When They Can Stay Home & See Bad TV For Nothing [Goldwyn] Why PMS? The Designation 'Mad Cow Disease' Was Already Taken! Why Pussy, Who Taught You Judo? [007 To Pussy Galore] Why Relive The Past When You Can Worry About The Future? Why Repeat The Old Errors, When There Are So Many More New Ones To Commit??? Why Should I Care About Posterity? What's Posterity Ever Done For Me? [Groucho Marx] Why So Suspicious? Irene, Shall 'I Answer Chronologically Or Alphabetically?' [Holmes 2009] Who Substituted Placebos For My anti-Paranoia Meds? Why The Eff Isn't Phonetic Spelled The Way It Sounds? Why Try So Hard To Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out? Why Waste My Time Reliving The Past When I Can Spend It Worrying About The Future? Why Worry? Why Worry If Problem Is Solvable & Why Worry If It Isn't? [Buddha] Why'd You Do What I Told You, You Know I Don't Know What I’m Talking About? Wicked Cough Wicked Cute Wicked Fire Wicked Good Wicked Prank Wicked Stench Wicked Tongue Is Worse Than An Evil Hand 198
Wicked Wacko Wicked Whack Off Wicked Whackjob Wicked Whacko Wicked Whicker Wicked Wicket-Keeper Wicked Woman Is Worse Than The Devil Wickedly Good Wide Berth Wide Open [Bleeped On tosh.O] Wide Open, But Intellectually Or Sexually? Wider Any Culture Is Spread, The Thinner It Gets Widow Maker Widow Waited For Willy Widow Wined Willy Widow With Big Breasts Should Be Married, Buried Or Put In Nunnery Widower Slid Willy To Widow Widower Whipped Whining Willy Widower Whirled Whippy Willy Widower’s Swell Willy Swelled & Welled Widow’s Willy Whined & Winked Wife Defines Retirement As ‘Twice As Much Husband On Half As Much Pay’ Wife Happy Not Happy [Rockefeller] Wife Lasts As Long As The Marriage, Ex-Wife Lasts Forever Wife The Knife Wife Who Can't Cook & Will Is Worse Than Wife Who Can Cook & Won't [Robert Frost] Wife Who Complain About No Magic In Marriage Will Have Disappearing Husband Wife Who Put Husband In Doghouse Soon Find Him In Cat House Wife's Idea Of A 'Light Lunch' Is Alighted Fireflies A La Mode Lite Wife Stealer, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let Him Keep Her [Sacha Guitry] Wiki Leaks Wikipedia Can Not Work In Theory Only Practice Wild Baby Wild Boar Wild Civilization Wild Dog Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Secret Out Of Her, But, Alas, She Doesn't Dines With Wild Horses Wild Side Wilderness Management Wild-Goose Chase Will Always Love The False Image I Had Of You Will Can't Be Hidden, It's A Dead Giveaway Will Is A Dead Giveaway Will Is A Dead Giveaway; One Exercises One's Will To Inherit Or Disinherit Will Kit Not Kill Their Kin For Me [The Simple Joys Of Maidenhood] Will Losing Jobs Lead To Decline? [Generally] 199
Will Losing Jobs Lead To Decline? [Steve Jobs At Apple] Will-O'-The-Wisp Will To Do Springs From The Knowledge That We Can Do [James Allen] Will To Live Will You Succeed? Yes You Will Indeed (98 & 3/4 Percent Guaranteed)! [Dr. Seuss] Will You Walk Into My Parlor? - Said The Spider To The Fly William Tell's Bowling Records Lost So We'll Never Know 'For Whom The Tells Bowled’ Willie Fled When He Heard The Order Given: 'Fire At Will' Willie, Throw Another Cat On The Barbie! [ALF] Willing Is Not Enough; We Must Do [Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe] Willing People Abound - Those Willing To Work & Those Willing To Let Them [R. Frost] Willing Slave Willowy Widow Willowy Willy Willpower Is The Art Of Replacing One Habit For Another [Michael Garofalo] Willy-Nilly Willy-Willy Wilma Made Fred's Bedrock Wilson's Law Of Marketing Strategy: If You Find A Product You Like, They'll Stop Making It Wilted Smile Wimpy Bomber [British] Wimpy Kid Wimpy Wimple Win As If You’re Used To It, Lose As If You Enjoy It Win One For The Gipper Wind Band Wind Bell Wind Burn Wind Chill Wind Chime Wind Cone Wind Deflection Wind Down Wind Farm Wind Gap Wind Generation [Extracting Power From Wind] Wind Generator [Extracts Power From Wind] Wind Harp Wind Instrument Wind Machine Wind Off Wind Park Wind Passing Wind Poppy Wind Power Wind Power Opponents Are Running Against The Wind 200
Wind Power Supporters Are Running With The Wind Wind Resistance Wind Rose Wind Scale Wind Shear Wind Sleeve Wind Sock Wind Tunnel Wind Up Wind Was Too Strong To Wind The Sail, But It Did Wind The Winch Windage Windbag Windblown Windbreak Windbreaker Windcheater Windfall Windfall Profit Wind-Fanner Windhover Windily Windiness Winding-Clothes Winding-Sheet Windjammer Windlass Window Envelope Windows Let The Bugs In, While Opening To Features That Bug Me Windows: Just Another Pane In The Glass Windows NT [New Technology] Window Partition Windows XP [Extra Performance] Windowpane Oyster Windows Security Windows Upgrade Windsurfer Windswept Headlands Windtalker Windward Passage Windy City Wine & Women, Mirth & Laughter, With ‘Sermons & Soda-Water The Day After’ [Lord Byron] Wine Diaper Wine Enlightens Reason Wine Enlivens The Human Soul [Euripides] Wine From Long Habit Has Become An Indispensable For My Health [Thomas Jefferson] Wine Gives Great Pleasure & Every Pleasure Is Of Itself A Good [Samuel Johnson] 201
Wine Is A Constant Proof That God Loves Us & Wants Us To Be Happy [Benjamin Franklin] Wine Is Bottled Poetry Wine Is Sunlight, Held Together By Water [Galileo] Wine Makes A Man Mistake Words For Thoughts [Samuel Johnson] Wine Maketh Merry, But Money Answereth All Things Wine Preserves Human Health & Is ‘An Excellent Remedy For Most Illnesses’ [Maimonides] Winged Feet Wingless Bird Wingnut - A Politically Polarized Non Sequiturian Who Espouses Illogical Rhetoric Winless Streak, Any Better Than A Losing Streak? Winners Are Not Those Who Never Fail, But Those Who Never Quit Winning & Losing Are Both Winners & Losers Aren’t Born, But Are The Products Of How They Think [Lou Holtz] Winners Lose Much More Often Than Losers [Matthew Keith Groves] Winners Listen, Losers Just Waits Until It Is Their Turn To Talk Winning A Medal Is A Lot Easier Than Wearing It Winning & Losing Are Both Habits Which Nuns Win When They Lose Theirs Winning Edge Is In Attitude Not Aptitude [Denis Waitley] Winning Failure Winning Is Nice If You Don't Lose Your Integrity In The Process [Arnold Horshak] Winning Isn't Everything, But It Beats Anything That Comes In Second Winter Will Last To Spring [IronHerder Header], & Not A Sun Ray Longer Wireless Cable Wireless Cable TV Wireless Music Box, Who'd Pay For A Message Sent To Nobody? [Broadcast Radio 1920's] Wisdom Consists Not Knowing What All To Do, But In What To Do Next [Herbert Hoover] Wisdom Consists Of The Anticipation Of Consequences [Norman Cousins] Wisdom Does Not Always Come With Age - Sometimes Age Comes Alone Wisdom In Wine, Freedom In Beer, Bacteria In Water Wisdom Is Knowing What To Do Next, Skill Is Knowing How To Do It & Virtue Is Doing It Wisdom Is Knowing What To Do With What You Know Wisdom Is The Supreme Part Of Happiness [Sophocles] Wisdom Of Congress Wise Ass Wise Fool [Sophomore] Wise Guy Mistaken For Wise Man Is Unwise! Wise Learn More From Fools Than Fools From The Wise Wise Man Buys His Wife Fine China, So She Won't Trust Him To Wash It Wise Man Buys Prunes To Get Good Run For Money Wise Man Can Lead Without Power But Only A Powerful Man Can Lead Without Wisdom Wise Man Can Learn More From Foolish Question Than Fool From Wise Answer [Bruce Lee] Wise Man Knows What He Says, Fool Says What He Knows Or Thinks He Knows Wise Man Does At Once What Fool Does At Last [Baltasar Gracian] Wise Man Has Long Ears & A Short Tongue Wise Man Hearkens To His Mind, Foolish Man To His Cronies Wise Man Hears One Word & Understands Two [Jewish Proverb] 202
Wise Man Learns By Others Mistakes, Fool By His Own Wise Man Never Plays Leapfrog With Unicorn Wise Men Protect Us From Wise Guys Wise Man Puts All His Eggs In One Basket & Locks Up The Basket Wise Man Puts Himself Last & Finds Himself First [Lao Tsu 600-400BC] Wise Man Turns Chance Into Good Fortune [Thomas Fuller] Wise Man Will Make More Opportunities Than He Finds [Francis Bacon] Wise Men & Wise Guys Are Opposites Wise Men Have Something To Say, Fools Have To Say Something [Plato] Wise Men Think Without Talking, Fools Talk Without Thinking Wise Never Marry For If They Do They Become Otherwise Wise Old Fool Wise People Think All They Say, Fools Say All They Think Wise Person Questions Himself, The Fool Others [Henri Arnold] Wise Shepherd Never Trusts His Flock To Smiling Wolf, Especially In Sheep's Clothing Wise Woman Will Marry The Man Who Loves Her, Rather Than The One She Loves Wiseasses I Must Get Even With List [Ageless6] Wish Bone Or Back Bone, Which Works Best? Wish I Had Time For Just One More Bowl Of Chili [Reportedly, Kit Carson's Final Words] Wish The Buck Stopped Here, I Could Use A Few... Wishbone Does Not Replace Backbone Wishful Drinking Wishful Drinking, It’s Hard Not To Love Your Brother [Princess Leia] Wishful Shrinking Wishful Thinking Wishy-Washy Wishy Washy, I Wishy You Washy Wishy Washy Wally Doesn’t Know Up From Down Wishy Washy Washer Women Washes Whites Wishy-Washy Wise Woman Washes While Wishing Wisely Wit Has Truth In It, Wisecracking Is Simply Calisthenics With Words [Dorothy Parker] Witches' Sabbath With A Computer, A Vibrator & Pizza Delivery, She Never Has To Leave The House With A Lack Of … With A Rubber Duck You’re Never Alone, With A Rubber You May Still Be Lonely With Advances In Technology, Truth Is Often Stranger Than Science Fiction! With All Due Respect With All Due Respect, That's A Bunch Of Malarkey [Joe Biden] With All Humanity With All Humility With All Its Faults, The U.S. Is Still The Greatest Nation In The Country [Spiro Agnew] With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility [Voltaire & Spider-Man] With Her Marriage She Got A New Name & A Dress With His Heart He Couldn’t Raise A Flag & Viagra Would Be Suicide [The Closer] With Honey You Can Catch More Flies Than With Vinegar With Luck, Everything Is Possible [Mit Mazel Ken Men Alles] 203
With Malice For One [Lock Up] With Malice Towards None With Proper Diet, Rest & Exercise Your Body Will Last A Lifetime With Sufficient Thrust Pigs Fly Just Fine, But Land Badly! With The Greatest Respect Conveys The Misconception 'He’s Listening To Me' With The Greatest Respect Really Means 'You Fool' Or 'You're Mistaken' Withheld Contribution Without A Light At Sea? Throw A Fag Overboard & Your Boat's A Cigarette Lighter! Without A Woman's Consent She Could Not Conceive [Fleta, UK Legal Text, Circa AD 1200] Without Antitrust-Type Laws Markets Become Oligarchic & Monopolistic [Barry J. Lipson] Without Antitrust-Type Laws There Can Be No Real Competition [Barry J. Lipson] Without Charity In Your Heart, You Have The Worst Kind Of Heart Trouble Without Courage, Wisdom Bears No Fruit [Baltasar Gracian] Without Fools There Would Be No Wisdom Without Geometry Life Is Pointless Without Music, Life Would Be A Mistake [Friedrich Nietzsche] Without Nipples Breasts Are Pointless Without Risk There Is No Opportunity For Gain Without Venetian Blinds, It Would Be 'Curtains' For Everyone Wit's End, Is That Your End-All? Witty Saying Proves Nothing [Voltaire] Wives Are Like Ticks On One's Body Wives Want To Videotape Their Children's Birth, Husbands Their Conception Wizard Behind The Wall [Oz] Wizard Behind The Wall Of Sleep Wizard Behind The Wall Street Lion ['Maverick Wizard' Jack Dreyfus, Aggressive Marketeer] Wizard Of Lies – Bernie Madoff Wizard Of Oz - Wizard Behind The Wall Wizbang Blog Wobbling Stallion Wobbling Tenor Wobbly Warren [Warren G. Harding] Wocka, Wocka, Wocka [Fozzie Bear] Wooden Car With Wooden Wheels & Wooden Engine Wooden Run Woe Is Me, Down To My Toes. [Oi Vey Tsu Meina Baina] Woeful Countenance Woeful Driver Drove His Car Until The Day Of Wreckoning Wogs 'Begin At Calais' & Incude All Swarthy & Dusky Foreigners Wok Is What You Throw At A Wabbit Woke Up Dead Wolf Loses His Hair But Not His Nature [Volf Farlirt Zayne Hor, Ober Nit Zayn Natur] Wolf Spider Woman, A Mass Of Conflicting Impulses [Spock] Woman After Priest Will Grab Him By The Organ Woman Born February 29 Has Baby Same Day [St. Louis Globe Democrat] Woman Changes Belief & Then Believes She Always Believed What She Believes Now! 204
Woman Changes Mind & Then Believes She Always Believed What She Believes Now! Woman Flying Upside Down Have Crack Up Woman: ‘I Think Of A Man, & I Take Away Reason & Accountability’ [As Good As It Gets] Woman Is Like A Lawn Mowers, You're Either Pushing Her Around Or Riding Her Woman Is Like Jazz Music, 3/4 Jazz Time & 1/4 Rag Time Woman Is More Than Her Breasts - Nanny Goat Also Have Two! Woman Is More Than Her Breasts - She Has A Pussy You Can Pet! Woman Is More Than Her Breasts - She’s Two Breasts & The Breast Carrier Woman Is Woe To Man, Is That Not True? Women Must Do All Twice As Well As Men To Be Thought Half As Good. Luckily, It's Easy! Woman Never Forgets Men She Could Have Had; Man The Women He Couldn't Woman Sues Caterpillar For Sexual Harassment [UPI] Woman Who Dates Gambler Gets Cheated On Woman Who Dates Trash Collector Will Hump At Dump Before Getting Dumped Woman Who Is Wallflower At Party, Dandelion In Bed Woman Who Marry Detective Must Kiss Dick Woman Who Puts Detergent On Top Shelf Jumps For Joy Woman Who Stands Between Two Goal Posts Is Known As Annette Woman Who Wear G-String, High On Crack! Woman Who Wears Running Shoes To Bed, Wants Marathon Session Woman Without A Man Is Like A Neck Without Necking Woman Without A Man Is Like A Neck Without A Pain Woman's Beauty Lasts As Long As Her Disposition Stays Sweet Woman's Favorite Position Is CEO Woman's Heart Sees More Than Men's Eyes [Swedish] Woman's Intuition Woman's Logic Woman's Mind Fungible, Much ‘Gible’ But Not Much Fun! Woman's Mind Is Fresher Than A Man's, She Changes It So Much More Often Woman's Place Is In The Home Woman's Place Is In The Home, Before The TV Woman's Place Is In The Home, Firmly Planted On The Bed Woman's T Shirt Said "Guess." I Did, 'Implants?' She Hit Me! Woman's Work Is Never Done Women 7: ‘4 That Wanna Own Me, 2 Who Wanna Stone Me, 1 Says She's A Friend Of Mine’ Women & Angels, Always Up In The Air & Harping About Something Women & Children First Women & Rocks Have Something In Common, We Skip The Flat Ones Women & Tax Forms Attract Cheaters Women Are Meant To Be Loved, Not To Be Understood [Oscar Wilde] Women Are The Kind Of Problem I Don't Mind Wrestling With Women Are The Only Hunters Who Use Themselves As Bait Women Are Smarter Than Men Think They Are, But Not As Smart As They Think They Are Women Blinking Nearly Twice As Much As Men Is A Myth [Michael J. Doughty] Women Can Fake Orgasms, But Men Can Fake Entire Relationships Women Either Carry Condoms Or Carry Babies 205
Women Hear & Men See More Evil As Women Hear Better & Men Read Smaller Women In Any Situations Are Incalculable Factors Women Like Convertibles Are More Fun With Their Tops Down Women Like Tea Bags Must Be Put In Hot Water To Show Their Strength Women Make Life Hard, Just Like They Do To Man Parts Women Marry Hoping He'll Change, Men Hoping She Won't [Albert Einstein] Women Might Be Able To Fake Orgasms, But Men Can Fake A Whole Relationship Women Must Do Twice As Well As Men To Be Thought Half As Good Women Need A Reason To Have Sex, Men Just Need A Place [Billy Crystal] Women Never Forget The Men They Could Have Had, Men The Women They Couldn't Women Prefer To Have Beauty Over Brains, As Men See Better Than They Think Women Screw With Minds, Men Without Minds Women Should Be Obscene & Not Heard [Groucho Marx] Women Should Not Have Children After 35 - Really 35 Children Are Enough ! Women Speak Two Languages, One Of Which Is Verbal [Steve Rubenstein] Women Want Power In The World Or 'Power In The Bedroom' [Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis] Women Want To Be Treated As Equals, Not Sequels Women Want To Change Men & When They Do They Don't Like Them [Marlene Dietrich] Women Who Carry Extra Weight Live Longer Than The Men Who Mention It Women Who Seek To Be Equal With Men Lack Ambition [Marilyn Monroe] Women Would Rather Be Right Than Reasonable [Ogden Nash] Womennonites Profess The Nonviolent Prostration Of Mennonites, Night & Day Womennonites Remember, They Remind All Nonites, Contains Omen which Mennonites Doesn’t! Women's Rights Women's Studies Women's Vibrator Company Is Called Genital Electric Wondered Why The Basketball Kept Getting Bigger, Then It Hit Me Wonders Will Never Cease Wonging Child Of Professional Blackjack Author Ferguson Under Wrong Name Stanford Wong Wonging is Entering Blackjack Game When Time Is Right Not Wrong Based On Card Counting Wonging Is Wronging A Guy By Cock Slapping Him When He's Down! Won't You Be My Neighbor? [Mr. Rogers] Woods Metal Woodchucks Stop Chucking My Wood [GEICO] Woodcocks* Wooden Indians Wooden Indians Find Woodpeckers Boring Wooden Indians Harbor Woodpeckers & Woodcocks Wooden Nickel Wooden Silverware Woodpeckers* Woodrow Wilson [Thomas Woodrow Wilson] Wood's Weary Walkers [A/K/A Rough Riders] Woody Woodpecker, Matsushita Internet PC Guide : ‘Touch Woody, The Internet Pecker' Wool Raincoat Wop Slurs Italian, From Guappo (Thug), With Backronym 'With Out Papers' 206
Word Perfect Word To The Wise Ain't Necessary, It's The Stupid Ones That Need The Advice [Bill Cosby] Word To The Wise Is Enough Word To The Wise Is Sufficient Word To The Wise Succors The Prize Wordless Book Words & Pictures Are Yin & Yang, Wed Their Progeny’s More Interesting Than Either [Seuss] Words Are Wondrous Vessels Of Wisdom Irregardless Of Their Existence Words Should Be Weighed And Not Counted World's Gone Mad Today, Good's Bad Today, Black's White, Day's Night, Anything Goes Work According To Weather, Whether Or Not They Want To Do It Work Banishes Those Three Great Evils: Boredom, Vice And Poverty [Voltaire] Work Being So Terrific, Why Do They Pay To Have It Done? Work Expands So As To Fill The Time Available For Its Completion [Cyril N. Parkinson] Work Fascinates Me, I Can Look At It For Hours Work Faithfully 8 Hours Daily & You May Get To Be Boss To Work 12 Hours Daily [R. Frost] Work Game Work Harder, Millions On Welfare Depend On You Work Is For People Who Don't Know How To Fish [Bumper Sticker] Work Is The Curse Of The Drinking Class Work Is The Easiest Thing Man Has Ever Invented To Escape Boredom Work Is Wonderful So Long As They Pay You To Do It! Work Just Hard Enough Not To Get Fired For Pay That's Just Enough Not To Quit Work Like You Don’t Need Money Work Out Regularly - Occasionally Work Party Work Party Parted Shift, Then Parted Each Other Work Party Parted Shift, Then Shifted To Party Mode Work Party Parted, Then Partied All Night Work Party Partied All Night, Then Parted Work Seeks The Lowest Hierarchical Level In Any Human Enterprise Work Smarder & Not Harder & Be Careful Of Yor Speling Work Study Program Work Tends To Assigned To Those Least Able To Do It Work Will Flow To The Most Competent Worker Until He Is Inundated & Submerged Work Your Thoughts Out On Paper Workaholics Workers Finish Boring Sewer Tunnel [Atlanta Journal Constitution] Workers Party Working Breakfast Working Hobby Working Hard Working Hard At Hardly Working Working Hard Or Hardly Working? Working Holiday 207
Working Lunch Working Mother Working Out - No Pain, No Gain Working Out No Way! - No Pain & No Strain Working Retiree Working The Crowd Working The Joystick Working Vacation Works Well Under Constant Supervision & When Cornered Like A Rat In A Trap World Beats A Path To Your Door Only If You’re In The Bathroom World Does Not Revolve On Its Axis, As The Axis Learned During WW II World Is A Paradox Of Technological Progressiveness & Social Primitivism [Simon Ramo] World Is A Stage, But The Play Is Badly Cast [Oscar Wilde] World Is Full Of Apathy, But I Don't Care World Is Full Of Willing People, Some Willing To Work, Rest Willing To Let Them [R. Frost] World Is Malleable, You Just Need To Hammer It Into Shape World Is More Complicated Than Most Of Our Theories Make It Out To Be World Is Mud-Luscious & Puddle-Wonderful [E.E. Cummings] World Is Not Interested In How Many Storms You Survived, Only That The Ship Arrived World Is Theater In The Round With Everyone On The Stage World Lives To Eat, While I Eat To Live [Socrates] World Only Beats A Path To Your Door If You're In The Bathroom World Peace Or Piece Of The World? [Rocketeer On Hitler] World Puts Its Stock In Us [NYSE] World Reflects Not Only What You Want To See But What You Need To See World Suffers More From Ravages Of Ill-Advised Marriages Than Virginity [Ambrose Bierce] World War IV Will Be Fought With Sticks & Stones [Albert Einstein] World-Wide People Still Pray In The Streets, Here They're Called Praydestrians World Full Of Willing People, Some Willing To Work, Rest Willing To Let Them [Robt Frost] World's A Stage & All Of Us Are Players World's A Stage & You Are The Only One In The Audience World's A Tuxedo & You're A Pair Of Brown Shoes World's Biggest Power Is The Youth & Beauty Of A Woman World's End 1914 [Jehovah's Witnesses] World's End 2012 [Mayan & Aztec Calendars -12/21] World's End 2012 [Michael Drosnin, The Bible Code - Comet] World's End, Boston Harbor [MA] Worlds End State Park [PA] World's Greatest Authority On My Own Opinion, My Claim To Fame! World's Greatest Hero [Bush II For Secretary Of State Colin Powell] World's Oldest Profession World's Second Oldest Profession [Prostitution Or Politics?] Worms Eat You Up When Dead & Worries Eat You Up Alive Worms Prefer Digging In The Hard Ground Than Going Fishing Worries Go Down Better With Soup Than Without Soup [Yiddish Proverb] Worry About Yesterday's Failures & Today's Successes Will Be Few 208
Worry Does Not Empty Tomorrow Of Its Sorrow, It Empties Today Of Its Strength Worry Is A Misuse Of The Imagination Worry Is Like A Rocking Chair, It Gives You Something To Do, But It Gets You Nowhere Worry Is Like A Rocking Chair, It Keeps You Busy, But Gets You Nowhere Worry Is The Darkroom In Which Negatives Are Developed Worry Kills More People Than Work As More People Worry Than Work [Robert Frost] Worry Not Others Don’t Fathom You, But Only That You Don’t Fathom Others [Confucius] Worrying Is The Devil’s Favorite Pastime Worrying Never Did Anyone Any Good Worse Than The Worse Case Scenario Worst Vice Is Advice [The Devil’s Advocate] Worst-Case Scenario Worst Enemy Worst Excuse For Not Doing Homework: ‘Couldn't Find Anyone To Copy It From’ Worst Fabricated Crime Is Blasphemy, Closely Followed By Obscenity & Indecency Worst Favorite Worst Food - Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries With Ranch Dressing [2900 Calories] Worst Guilt Is To Accept An Unearned Guilt [Ayn Rand] Worst 'Healthy' Burger - Ruby Tuesday Bella Turkey Burger [1,145 Calories, 71 Grams Fat] Worst Is First [Boston] Worst Loneliness Is Not To Be Comfortable With Yourself [Mark Twain] Worst Thing About Some Men Is That When They're Not Drunk They're Sober [Yeats] Worst Thing About Getting Old Is Seeming To Have Breakfast Every Half Hour Worst Thing You Can Do Is Nothing [Theodore Roosevelt] Would A Fly Without Wings Be Called A Walk? [George Carlin] Would Like To Help You Out, Which Way Did You Come In? Would The Standing Committee Please Sit Down? Would You Be Shocked If I Put On Something More Comfortable? [Jean Harlow] Wouldn't 'Beer Biceps' Be Better Than A Beer Belly? What About ‘Beer Boobs’? Wouldn't It Be Great World If Being Insecure & Desperate Were A Turn-On? [Broadcast News] Wouldn't It Be Nice If There Was An Escape Key For All Of Our Problems? Wound Was Wound & Wrapped In Bandages Would You Do It For A Scooby Snack? [Scooby Doo] Wow! Look How She Moves! That's Just Like Jell-O On Springs [Some Like It Hot, 1959] Wowsers! [Inspector Gadget] Wright Brothers Weren't The First To Fly, They Were Just The First Not To Crash Wrinkled Was Not My Goal in Growing Up Wrinkles, Something Other People Have That Are Similar To My Character Lines Writ Of Right WRITE!!! [John Steinbeck Advising Would-Be Writers] Write If You Get Work... [Bob & Ray] Write It But Don’t Send It! Write Your Hurts In Sand & Carve Your Blessings In Stone, Preferably Not Sandstone Writer Breeds More Words Than He Needs, Making A Chore For Reader Who Reads [Seuss] Writer Needs Pen, Painter Needs Brush, But Filmmaker Needs An Army [Orson Welles] Writer Of Wrongs 209
Writers Write But Fingers Don't Finge, Grocers Don't Groce & Hammers Don't Hamme Writing Is Nature's Way Of Letting You Know How Sloppy Your Thinking Is [Guindon] Writing With A Broken Pencil Is Pointless Written Right Written Rite Wrong Number Law: Wrong Numbers Won’t Get Busy Signals, But Will Be Answered Wrong Numbers Are Never Busy Wrong Numbers – Don’t Write Them, Right Them! Wrong Way Round Wronger Of Rights Wronger of Rites Wu Ming-Hung Or Mystery Man-Hung, Listed 'Anonymously' On Facebook In Fighting Stance Wú Míng In Chinese Means 'Mystery Man' [The Closer] Wú Míng Means ‘Anonymous’ In Chinese [ 无名 Or 無名], A Common Dissidents’ Byline Wu Ming Means Too ‘Five People’ [五名], Pseudonym For [5?] Italian ‘Nebula’ Authors
X X Factor X Files X In Xmas Is A Cross To Some & No Cause To Be Cross As It Doesn't X Or Cross Out Christ X In Xmas Is Greek Letter Chi Used Since 1500’s As A Christogram Representing Word Christ X In XPmas Found In Anglo Saxon Chronicles By AD 1021 [ XP A Greek Form Of Christ] X-Inefficiency X Is A Crisscrossed Letter X-Linked Dominant Inheritance X Marks The Spot X-Rated X-Ray Eyes X-Ray Therapy X-Ray Tube Xanthophobia - Fear Of The Color Yellow - Tweetie Bird Take Note! Xenophobia - Fear Of Strangers, Foreigners, Aliens & Extraterrestrials Xenophobic Foreign Secretary Xenophobic Language Interpreter Xenophobic, To X Illiterate Zenophobic, Abnormal Fear Or Hatred Of The Strange Or Foreign Xenopus Laevis [Tongueless Frog] Xerophagy Xerophilous Plant Xerophytic Plant Xerographic Copier [Xerox] Xeroradiography Xerox & Wurlitzer Merged To Produce Reproductive Organs Xmas, A Time To Sit Before Dead Trees & Eat Candy Out Of Socks
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Y Y Is A Crooked Letter Yabba Dabba Do Me Yabba Dabba Doo! [Fred Flintstone] Yabba Dabba Dooozie! [Pebbles Flintstone] Yang's Exquisite Eatery In Fife Didn't Charge As 'The Best Ying's In Fife Are Free' Yankee Dime Yankee Doodle Yankees Were For The Birds Until They Left Baltimore [Baltimore Orioles 1901-02] Yawn, An Honest Opinion Openly Expressed Or Secretly Hidden Behind Hand Yawn, An Honest Opinion Secretly Expressed Hidden Behind An Open Hand Yawning Orgasm Yawning Pussy Yawning Pussy, Meow Ye Shall Know The Truth, & The Truth Shall Make You Free Ye Shall Know The Truth, & The Truth Shall Make You Mad [Aldous Huxley] Year Spent In Artificial Intelligence Is Enough To Make One Believe In God Years Of Creation Could Be Destroyed By Others Overnight - Create Anyway [Mother Teresa] Years Wrinkle The Skin, But Lack Of Enthusiasm Wrinkles The Soul Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers* Yellow Cab Company Choose Yellow Because Easiest Color To Spot [U. Of Chicago 1914 Survey] Yellow Cab Company Of Chicago Said To Be #1, Founded By John Hertz, Car Rental's #2 Yellow Cab In DC Always Has Been Orange & Black, & DC Taxi Cab Commission Wants It Red Yellow Cab Pink [To Aid Susan G. Komen For The Cure (Of Breast Cancer), Austin, TX Et Al] Yellow Cab Purple [To Aid Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, Austin, TX] Yellow Fever - Sickness Of The Body Not To Be Mistaken For Asian Fever, A Heart Sickness Yellow Journalism Yellow Journalism Rampant In China Yellow Press Yellow Rose Yellow Snow Yellow Snow Angel Yellow Stream By I. P. Daily Yellow Submarine Yellow Violet Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt -- Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis –Oy [Veh]! To Be Fluent! [Haiku] Yenta, Yiddish For A Gossipy, Scolding, Talkative Woman – Originally A Given Name Yes, Georgia, There Is A Florida Peach [David McKenzie] Yes Means No Yes Or No, Do You Have Trouble Making Up Your Mind? Well? Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus – For The Top One Percent! Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus – These Days He Goes By The Name Of Medicare Yesterday Is History, Tomorrow Mystery, Today A Gift [Eleanor Roosevelt] 211
Yesterday’s History, Tomorrow’s Mystery, Today’s A Gift, That's Why It’s The ‘Present’ Yesterday's News Yiá Yiá Made It! – Avgo-Lemono Soupá! Yiá Yiá, The Yenta Gossiped, ‘Adulterated Her Jewish Penicillin With Lemon, Egg & Orzo!’ Yield To Temptation, It May Not Pass Your Way Again [Robert Heinlein] Yin-Yang Yinglish, Bright, Brash, Colorful Amalgam Of Yiddish & English [ Rosten, Joys Of Yinglish] Yipee Skipee! [Miss Piggy] Yogi With Tooth Ache Told Dentist: 'I Can Transcend Dental Medication' Yo Momma's Like Potato Chips - Fri-to Lay Yo Momma’s So Fat Her Round Shape Inspired The Wheel [NPR-Faux Mesopotamia] Yo’ Play In Yo' Gut [Yoplait® Yogurt] Yoink! [The Simpsons] YOLO, So I Prefer Not FIFO Or LIFO, But FILO (& I Don’t Mean Greek Pastry) YOLO - You Only Live Once Yom Kippur: Forgive Me, God, For The Mercedes & All The Lobsters [Haiku] You Ain't Learning Nothing When You're Talking You Always Admire What You Really Don’t Understand [Eleanor Roosevelt] You Always Face The Choice Between Hard Rights & Easy Wrongs, Choose Wisely You Always Find Something The Last Place You Look, Dah! You Always Pass Failure On The Way To Success [Mickey Rooney] You Always Pass Failure On The Way To Success, But Before Or After Passing Go? You Always Were A Cunning Linguist, James [Moneypenny To 007] You Anti- Semantic Bastard [House] You Anti- Semitic Bastard You Aren’t Learning Much When Your Lips Are Moving You Big Dummy [Sanford & Son] You Can Always Find What You're Not Looking For You Can Always Manage To Boot Yourself In The Posterior You Can Amend, But If You Make Amends You Can’t Make Just One Amend You Can Be Anyone You Want To Be, We Are Told. It's Called 'Identity Theft' You Can Buy 'Acquaintances, But Not Friends; Leisure, But Not Peace' [Arne Garborg] You Can Buy 'Food, But Not Appetite ... Fun, But Not Joy' [Arne Garborg] You Can Buy 'The Husk Of Everything For Money, But Not The Kernel' [Arne Garborg] You Can Cage The Singer But Not The Song [Harry Belafonte] You Can Catch More Flies With Honey Than With Vinegar You Can Choose Your Friends, But You Can’t Choose Your Family You Can Count On Americans Doing Right Thing, After Trying Everything Else [Churchill] You Can Do More With A Kind Word & A Gun Than With Just A Kind Word [Al Capone] You Can Fool Some Of The People All Of The Time [Abraham Lincoln] *You Can Fool ... All Of The People Some Of The Time [Abraham Lincoln] *You Can Not Fool All Of The People All Of The Time [Abraham Lincoln] *Those [You Can Fool All The Time] Are The Ones To Concentrate On [George W. Bush] You Can Foolishly Make A Fool Of Yourself Anytime You Can Get Everything In Life You Want, Just Help Enough Others To Get What They Want You Can Go A Long Way With A Smile 212
You Can Go A Lot Longer With A Smile & A Gun You Can Go As Far As You Like With Me In My Merrily Parked Oldsmobile You Can Go As Far As You Like With Me In My Merry Oldsmobile [Bing Crosby] You Can Go Now, Bye Bye You Can Go Now, Crappers To The Left You Can Have Too Much Of A Good Thing You Can Keep Your Youth By Giving Her Money, Furs & Diamonds You Can Lead A Donkey To Water, But It's Still An Ass You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But A Pencil Must Be Lead You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But Can You Get Him To Float On His Back? You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But You Can't Make Her Think [Don Daniels] You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But You Can’t Make It Drink You Can Live For Many Causes, But You Can Only Die For One, Pick That One Carefully You Can Never Underestimate The Stupidity Of The General Public [Scott Adams] You Can Observe A Lot Just By Watchin' [Yogi Berra] You Can Only See Others As Clearly As You See Yourself You Can Recognize A Donkey By His Long Ears, A Fool By His Long Tongue You Can Right-Justify Any Idea, Even One Not Justifiable On Any Grounds You Can Say That Again! You Can Say That Again, But Please Don’t! You Can Talk The Talk, But Can You Walk The Walk You Can Tell That You’re Doing The Right Thing If It Feels Effortless You Can Trust Your Car To The Man Who Wears The Star [Texaco] You Can Whip Our Butt Cream But You Can't Beat Our Milk Duds You Can Whip Our Cream But You Can't Beat Our Milk You Can Whip Our Cream But You Can't Beat Our Milk Duds You Can’t Achieve The Impossible Without Attempting The Absurd You Can't Beat A Pickled Egg, No Matter How Hardboiled You Are You Can't Beat A Pickled Egg, They’re Delicious You Can’t Break The Law To Enforce The Law [NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio] You Can't Buy Love On eBay But You Can Rent It You Can't Change The Direction Of The Wind, But You Can Change The Sail You Can't Depend On Your Eyes When Your Imagination Is Out Of Focus [Mark Twain] You Can't Do It Unless You Can Imagine It You Can't Do That On Television You Can’t Drink It Slow, If It's Quick®! [Nestlé’s Quick® Slogan] You Can’t Explore Oceans Unless You Have The Courage To Leave The Shore You Can't Fall Off The Floor, But You Can Roll Out The Door You Can’t Fight City Hall You Can’t Fight City Hall If Your Sane You Can’t Fight City Hall Unless Your Sane You Can't Get Blood Out Of A Stone You Can't Get There From Here You Can’t Get There From Here As You Always Must Go Half The Remaining Distance You Can't Get There From Here, Main Theme Of Maine You Can't Get To The Top By Sitting On Your Bottom 213
You Can't Go Wrong If You Shield Your Dong You Can't Guard Against The Arbitrary You Can't Handle The Truth! [A Few Good Men] You Can’t Have A Baby In One Month By Getting Nine Women Pregnant You Can't Have Everything, Where Would You Put It? You Can’t Have Cake & The Topping, Too You Can’t Have Your Cake & Eat It Too You Can't Have Your Cake & Let Your Neighbor Eat It Too [Ayn Rand] You Can’t Have Your Cake Half Baked You Can’t Have Your Cake Until Its Baked You Can’t Have Your Cake Until You Bake You Can’t Hear With Your Ear In A Beer You Can’t Hear With Your Ear Up Your Rear You Can't Hold A Man Down Without Staying Down With Him [Booker T. Washington] You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover You Can't Keep Blaming Yourself. Just Blame Yourself Once, & Move On [Homer Simpson] You Can't Kill Time Without Injuring Eternity You Can’t Know Anything For Sure You Can't Live It Down, If You Don't Live It Up You Can’t Make A Silk Purse Out Of A Sow’s Ear You Can’t Make An Omelet Without Breaking Eggs You Can't Make Bricks Without Straw You Can't Propel Yourself Forward By Patting Yourself On The Back You Can't Run Away From Trouble, There Ain't No Place That Far [Uncle Remus] You Can't Run With The Hare & Hunt With The Hounds You Can't Shake Hands With A Clenched Fist [Indira Gandhi] You Can’t Step In The Same River Twice [Heraclitus] You Can’t Take It With You You Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks You Can't Tell A Book By Its Cover You Can't Tell A Book By Its Cover Or A Movie By its Uncover You Can't Tell A Book By Its Movie You Can’t Tell Me The Sky's The Limit When There Are Footprints On The Moon You Can’t Un-Ring A Bell You Can’t Un-See What You Just Saw! [Daily Show] You Can't Wait For Inspiration, You Have To Go After It With A Club [Jack London] You Can't Win Them All You Can't Win Unless You Play! You Can't Win, You Can't Break Even & You Can't Even Quit The Game You Can’t Yell Fire in a Crowded Theater, When There Is None! You Catch More Flies With Honey Than With Vinegar You Celibate, I'll Buy A Bit! [Brad Warner] You Could Have Knocked Me Down With A Feather You Could Have Knocked Me Down With A Feather, An Ostrich Feather You Could Learn From Your Mistakes If You Weren't So Busy Denying Them You Couldn't Fight Your Way Out Of A Paper Bag 214
You Create Your Own Universe As You Go Along [Winston Churchill] You Did Everything But Lick His Artichoke [Dame Maggie Smith To Bi-Sexual Husband] You Did Give Me Quite A Turn & One Good Turn Deserves Another [Alice-Doorknob] You Dirty Rat! [Anything Goes] You Don’t Even Know What You Don’t Know [Fringe] You Don’t Get A Dog & Bark Yourself You Don’t Have To Be Pretty If You Are Charming You Don't Have To Explain Something You Never Said [Calvin Coolidge] You Don't Have To See The Whole Staircase, Just Take The First Step [Martin Luther King Jr.] You Don't Know Shit! You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know Until You Try Writing About It You Don’t Know Who You Don’t Know You Don't Love A Woman Because She’s Beautiful, She’s Beautiful Because You Love Her You Don’t Shit Knowledge You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Age, You Age Because You Stop Laughing You Either Make Dust Or You Eat Dust You Fail To Overlook The Crucial Point [Samuel Goldwyn] You Get Down Off Horses Who Forget To Duck In Pillow Fights You Get More With A Kind Word & A Gun Than A Kind Word Alone [Al Capone] You Get The Most Of What You Need The Least You Get What You Pay For You Get What You Pay For If Its Discounted You Gonna Do Something Or Just Stand There & Bleed? [Tombstone, 1993] You Got Tic Tac Dough! You Got To Play To Win You Got Your Momma's Taste But You Got My Mouth [Ben Folds, 'Gracie'] You Gotta Love Livin', Baby, 'Cause Dyin' Is A Pain In The Ass [Frank Sinatra] You Gotta Know Someone Really Well To Realize You're Really Strangers [Mary T. Moore] You Grow On People, But So Do Warts You Guys Are Murder! [Hart To Hart] You Have A Face Like A Saint, A Saint Bernard You Have A License To Kill - Not Break The Traffic Laws! [Q To 007] You Have A Mind Like A Steel Trap, Rusty & Illegal In 37 States You Have An Inferiority Complex That Is Fully Justified You Have Delighted Us Long Enough [Jane Austen] You Have Hissed All My Mystery Lectures [Missed...History] You Have Grand Gift Of Silence, Watson, Makes You Quite Invaluable Companion [SH 2009] You Have The Supply, Now You Require The Demand [Sherlock Holmes 2011] You Have To Be A Speedy Reader Because There’s So So Much To Read [Dr. Seuss] You Have To Be Clever To Know That You're Dumb! You Have To Decide Even To Hesitate You Have To Put In To Get Out [Darnell Self] You Have To Put It In To Get It Out You Have Right To Remain Silent. Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted & Used Against You You Have Taken Yourself Too Seriously 215
You Have Tasted A Whole Worm [Wasted...Term] You Have The Capacity To Learn From Mistakes - You'll Learn A Lot Today You Have The Right To Assemble, But Police Have The Right To Disassemble You You Have The Right To Remain Silent If You're Mute You Have The Right To Remain Silent, What You Lack Is The Ability You Have To Be Cruel To Be Kind [Awkward] You Keep Me Rooted Down When I’m About To Go Flying Off You Kill My Patients [Kate Beckett To Castle] You Kill My Patients, Dr. Virginia Soares De Souza, ‘To Free Up Beds’ [Reuters, Brasilia] You Know Not What A Poor Opinion I Have Of Me & How Little I Deserve It [W.S.Gilbert] You Know What Happens To Popular People - They Get Fat! You Know You Know You Know You Know Nothing You Know You're Getting Old When The Candles Cost More Than The Cake [Bob Hope] You Know You're In Love When Reality Is Better Than Your Dreams [Dr. Seuss] You Laugh Because I'm Different, I Laugh At You Because You’re Smelling My Farts! You Laugh At Me For Being Different, I At You For Being All The Same [Jonathan Davis] You Live On The Corner Of Black & White - We Live Across The Street On Grey [Castle] You Look Like Shit, Is That The Style Now? You Look Mahvelous [Billy Crystal] You Lookin' At Me? You Love To Hate You Make ‘'Em, I Amuse ‘Em [Dr. Seuss] You Make Me Very Happy! ‘Yah, Yah, Put It In Writing’ [Sex & The City] You May Be Down But Never Out - Until You Admit It You May Believe In Miracles, I Rely On Them You May Cross This Field For No Fee To Farmer, But The Bull Charges [Notice On Fence] You May Delay, But Time Will Not [Benjamin Franklin] You May Fail Many Times, But You're Only A Failure When You Blame Others You May Have To Fight A Battle More Than Once To Win It [Margaret Thatcher] You May ‘Now Kiss The Bride’ Refers Only To The Groom, Until The Reception Line You May Think She Walks On Water, But You’re Following Her On Very Thin Ice You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Take [Wayne Gretzky] You Missed [Pheasant] Mr. Bond - CRASH [Sniper Falls] - ‘Did I?' [007 To Hugo Drax] You Must Be From Tennessee 'Cause You're The Only Ten I See! You Must Be The Change You Want To See In The World [Mahatma Gandhi] You Must Buy A Ticket To Win The Lottery You Must Either Modify Your Dreams Or Magnify Your Skills [Jim Rohn] You Must Face The Bull, But Not Ass Backwards You Must Take The Bull By The Horns You Must Take The Bull By The Horns & Blow! You Must Take The Bull By The Tail & Face The Situation [W. C. Fields] You Must Face The Horny Bull Cowardly You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who Gives A Damn You Need A Sense Of Humor For It To Be Funny You Need A Sense Of Humor To Recognize Humor 216
You Need Degas To Make De Van Gogh You Need To Know One Really Well To Know ‘You're Really Strangers’ [Mary Tyler Moore] You Need To Wake Up If You Want To Dream [Paulo Coelho] You Never Achieve Success Unless You Like What You Are Doing [Dale Carnegie] You Never Even Laid A Hand On Me, & I’m Not Used To A Man Treating Me Like That! You Never Find An Article Until You Replace It You Never Know What Life Is Like, Until You’ve Lived It [Marilyn Monroe] You Never Know, You Know You Never Lose By Loving, You Always Lose By Holding Back You Never Really Learn To Swear Until You Learn To Drive You Non-Conformists Are All Alike You Non-Conformists Are All The Same [Muse - You're Only Young Forever Once] You Only Live Once, But If You Do It Right, Once Is Enough You Only Live Once, Though Twice Would Be Better You Only Live Twice [007] You Ought To Go Back To Drivin' A Truck, 'You Ain't Goin' Nowhere,' Elvis [J. Denny 1954] You Parking Ticket, You - You've Got Fine Written All Over You You Pays Your Money & You Takes Your Chance You Pays Your Money & You Takes Your Choice You Put Your Clothes On & I'll Buy You An Ice Cream! [007 T0 Bibi] You Reap What You Sow You Reap What You Sow, But Only If You Have A Green Thumb Or A Gardener You Remind Me Of A Pepper Pot, 'I'll Take That As A Condiment' You Reminded Me Of When You Were Young & Stupid, Now Your No Longer Young You Rip What You Sew You Rock Barack! You Said It! You Said It, I didn’t! You Said You're Nobody's Fool, But Perhaps Somebody Will Adopt You You Say I’m A B-tch Like It's A Bad Thing You Say You're Nobody's Fool, But You Jest As Court Jester, Right? You Scratch My Back & I’ll Scratch Your Belly You Scratch My Back & I’ll Scratch Yours You Scratch My Back ‘Till It Bleeds You Should Lie In The Earth! - Drop Dead! [Zolst Ligen In Drerd] You Should Live So! [Zolstu Azoy Lebn!] You Should Never Mess With A Mathematician Named 'Fuchs' You Should Not Confuse Your Career With Your Life [Dave Barry] You Should Treat Each New Day As A Gift - That's Why It's Called 'The Present' [Ziggy] You Sit In Front Of Your TV, But Behind Your Computer You Stab 'Em, We Slab 'Em [Al's Mortuary] You Stand In Your Own Light, Make It Shine!!!! You Stole My Heart, But It's Okay I Have Another Heart & Kidney Pie In The Fridge You Stopped Getting Bikini Waxes, You've Gone Native - I Was Into It! [It's Complicated] You Take A Bath When You Find Yourself In Hot Water You Talk In Circles When I Need A Straight Line [Celine Dion-If Love Is Out Of Question] 217
You Talkin' To Me? You Talkin' To Me? You Talkin' To Me? [Taxi Driver, 1976] You Think I'm Just Too Serious, I Think You're Full Of Shit [Pink] You Think I'm Just Too Serious, I Think You're Full Of Shit, An A-Hole! You Think I'm Just Too Serious, I Think You're Full Of Shit, I’m Just Serious Enough! You Tried Your Best & You Failed Miserably, The Lesson Is ‘Never Try’ [Homer Simpson] You Turn My Floppy Disk Into A Hard Drive You Turn My Software Into Hardware! You Want It Bad, You'll Get It Bad! You Want Not The One You Can Live With, But The One You Can't Live Without You Were A Colossal Pain In The Neck, But Assk Me, You Now Pained Me Much Lower You Were Much More 'Muchier,' You've Lost Your 'Muchness'[Alice] You What? You Who Hate The Jews So, Why Did You Adopt Their Religion? [Friedrich Nietzsche] You Will Always Forget To Add The Attachment To Your E-Mail You Win Big When You Lose Right You Win, I Win, We Lose [Kenny Chesney] You Wouldn't Hit A Guy With Glasses Would You? [Bugs Bunny] You Wouldn't Kill Me, You’d Miss Me - BANG - ‘I Never Miss’ [007] Youtube News Is Old News; It Takes 5 Minutes For New News To Mature Into Youtube News You'd Be Surprised How Much It Costs To Look This Cheap [Dolly Parton] You'll Do Foolish Things, But Do Them With Enthusiasm [Colette] You'll Join The High Fliers Who Soar To High Heights [Dr. Seuss] You'll Learn More About A Road By Traveling It You’ll Miss The Best Things If You Keep Your Eyes Shut [Dr. Seuss] You'll Never Be The Man Your Mother Was! [Cher To Chaz Bono?] You'll Never Use All That Disk Space You'll Pay For Your Freewill! You'll Top All The Rest Except When You Don't, Because At Times You Won't [Dr. Seuss] You'll Wonder Where The Yellow Went When You Brush Your Teeth With Pepsodent! Young Adult Young Blood Young Conservatives Have No Heart, Old Conservatives No Head Young Dong Restaurant [Los Angeles, California] Young Floridian Young Frankenstein Young Hickory [James K. Polk] Young Hickory Of The Granite Hills [Franklin Pierce] Young Hooker Uses Vaseline To Get It In, An Old One Polygrip To Keep It In Young Ladies, Never Did They Not Fart In Their Husbands’ Laps [Samaria 1900-1600BC] Young Liberals Have Too Much Heart, Old Liberals Too Much Head Young Love – First Splitting Banana Splits, Then Splitting Assets [Castle] Young Men May Exaggerate, Old Men Pretend Young Men Think Old Men Are Fools, But Old Men Know Young Men Are [Geo. Chapman] Young Misses Whut Eats Heavy Mos' Gener'ly Doan Never Ketch Husbands [GWT Wind] Young Republican Young Sixty 218
Young Skinny Dip, The Old Chunky Dunk Young Trees Bend, Old Trees Break Young Turk Youngsters Know The Rules, Oldsters Know The Exceptions Your Adventures Have A Way Of Getting Me In Trouble [Tin Man] Your Belly Button Is Bigger Than Your Stomach Your Body’s Like A Temple – ‘Sorry, There Are No Services Today’ Your Calendar Days Are Numbered Your Call Your Clock Is Ticking [Sherlock Holmes 2011] Your Cry Baby Whiny-Assed Opinion Would Be...? Your Dog's Admiration Is Not Conclusive Evidence That You Are Wonderful Your E-Mail Has Been Returned Due To Insufficient Voltage Your Ego Is Writing Checks Your Body Can’t Cash! [Top Gun] Your Fantasy...Is Over [Mr. Roarke - Fantasy Island] Your Future Depends On Your Dreams, So Go To Sleep Now! Your Gene Pool Could Use A Little Chlorine Your Gene Pool Could Use A Freshening Your Good Fortune Is Not To Need Good Fortune [Seneca] Your Head Is There To Move You Around [REM] Your Illness Was Noted, Let's Hope It's Nothing Trivial Your Kid May Be An Honors Student, But You're Still An Idiot Your Life Is In Your Hands & Only Yours Your Life Would Be Very Empty If You Had Nothing To Regret Your Love, My Cage, My Prison So Pleasing [Skillet, 'My Obsession'] Your Lucky Number Has Been Disconnected Your Lucky Number Has Been Discontinued Your Mama’s So Fat, It’s Not Over Till She Sings! Your Mama’s So Fat, When She Sings Its Over! Your Mind Runs The Gamut From X To XXX [NCIS] Your Modesty Will Shame Those With Lesser Knowledge [Fortune Cookie] Your Mother Is Behind You, Accept Her Support Your Mother Is Behind You, Except Her Support Your Mother Is Behind You, Keep Looking Ahead Your Name Is Mud Your Name Is Mud , Harcourt 'Harry' Fenton Mudd [Star Trek - Mudd's Women 1966] Your Pants Must Be Reflective, I Can See Myself In Them Your Secrets Are Safe With Me & All My Friends Your Sins Will Find You Out Your Sole Purpose In Life Is Simply To Serve As A Warning To Others Your True Friends Love You Anyway Your True Value Depends Entirely On What You Are Compared With Your Village Just Called, They’re Missing Their Idiot Your Work Is To Discover Your Work & Then Wholeheartedly Give Yourself To It [Buddha] You're A CPA - A Certified Public Account, Certify & Account For Yourself Publically! You're A CPA - A Certified Public Asshole! Here's My Visor, My #2 Pencil [The Producers] 219
You're A Few Bits Short Of A Byte You're A Few Bradys Short Of A Bunch You're A Fucking Virgin You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown [Charles M. Schulz] You're A Habit I'd Like To Kick - With Both Feet You're A Liar & A Killer – ‘Well, At Least Half Of That Is True!’ You're A Lying Murdering Goon - ‘Well, At Least Two-Thirds Of That Is True!’ You're A Man! Good Grief, Charlie Brown You're A Raggedy Ann In A Barbie Doll World You're A Time Millionaire - For A Rich Life Invest Wisely [Richard Andrews] You're About As Useful As A Chocolate Teapot You're All Booster, No Payload You're An Accountant? Yes, Sir. ‘Then Account For Yourself!’ [The Producers] You're As Quick As A Snail Crossing A Super-Glue Highway You're As Stupid As You Are Fat [How To Talk To Women - Ron Lahr] You're As Useless As Fleshy Lips On A Woodpecker You're Awful, Awful Good To Look At [Frank Sinatra] *You're Awful ... Awful Nice To Be With ... Awful Nice To Be My Girl *You're Awful ... Awful Sweet To Have & Hold *You're Awful ... Can't Stand You, I Can't Stand You Giving Some Fellow The Eye *You're Awful ... Can't Stand You In The Arms Of Another Guy *You're Awful ... Who Needs You? *You're Awful ... Need You To Distraction , Need You Too This Crazy, Need You Rain Or Shine *You're Boring, Boring Into My Heart To Stay *You're Cheap, Dear, Cheap At Any Price, Dear *You're Cheap,... Cheap For Such A Diamond, Cheap For Such A Pearl *You're Frightening, Frightening Me When You Say That You Might Go Away *You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me & Not You! *You're Nothing, Nothing If Not Lovely *You're Nothing ... If Not Dazzling, Nothing But Pure Gold, *You're Old, Dear, Old With Worldly Wisdom [Betty Garrett] *You're Old, Dear,...Old Like Gordon Soda, Old Like Finest French Champagne *You're So-So, So-So, So-So Kinda Charming, So-So Kind Of Witty, So I Can't Explain *You're Awful, Awful Nice To Say You're Mine [Frank Sinatra & Betty Garrett] You're Beneath My Contempt You're Beneath My Contempt, So Keep Your Eyes Closed & Don't Look Up You're Cleverer Than You Look – ‘Better Than Looking Cleverer Than You Are!’ [Q To 007] You're Cuter Than Venus & What's More You Got Arms You're Depriving Some Poor Village Of Its Idiot You're Damn Right I'm Great In Bed, I Can Stay There All Day
You're Driving A Car, Not A Telephone Booth, Beauty Parlor Or Restaurant - Concentrate! You're Either Fired With Enthusiasm Or Fired With Enthusiasm [Vince Lombardi] You're Either Part Of The Solution Or Part Of The Problem [Eldridge Cleaver] You're Entirely Bonkers... All The Best People Are [Alice] You're Full Of It! You're Going To Be Grounded Until There's A White President [Necessary Roughness] 220
You're Halfway Through Life Before You Realize It's A ‘Do It Yourself’ Project You're Hard Drive Is Spinning But Your OS Isn't Installed You're Here! Sooooo, You're Not All There!!! You're In Big Trouble, Mister! [Full House] You're In Good Hands With Allstate You're In My Mind & Always In My Heart You're In Pretty Good Shape For The Shape You Are In [Dr. Seuss] You're Just Jealous Because The Little Voices Only Talk To Me You're Like A Happy Meal Without The Prize You're Miss America So You Can't Say NO! [Caressa Cameron 2010] You're Miss America So You Can't Scoot Over [Caressa Cameron 2010] You're Much More Likely To Get Shot By A Fat Cop If You Run [Dennis Miller] You're My Cold Sun You're My Kind Of Girl Nancy, Drunk! [Hawkeye] You're My Sweetest Sin! You're Never Too Old To Act Goofy You're Never Too Old To Become Younger [Mae West] You're Never Too Old To Learn You're Never Too Old To Learn Something Stupid You're Never Too Old, Too Wacky, Too Wild, To Read A Book To A Child [Dr. Seuss] You're Not A Complete Idiot, There Are Still Some Parts Missing! You're Not All There! You're Not As Bad As People Say You're Not Completely Worthless, I Can At Least Use You As A Bad Example You're Not Drunk If You Can Lie On Floor Without Holding On [Dean Martin] You're Not Even Beneath My Contempt You're Not First Doctor To Sleep With Patient, But Then 'You're A Veterinarian' [Dick Wilson] You're Not Fully Clean Until You're Zestfully Clean [Zest Soap] You're Not Mr. Right, He Left Right Before You Came To Write Your Obituary You're Not Hot Snot On A Platter, You're Just A Cold Booger On A Paper Plate You're Not Obnoxious As Other People Are, You're Obnoxious In A Far Worse Way You're Not Yourself You're Not Yourself Today, I Noticed The Improvement Right Away You're On My List Of People Never To Be On My List You're On My List Of People That Will Never Make Any List Of Mine You're Only As Old As The Woman You Feel [Groucho Marx] You're Only As Strong As You Appear To Be You're Only Truly In Control Of Your Life When You Accept You're Not You're Only Young Forever Once You're Only Young Once & Only Way Before You're Ready To Enjoy Being Young You're Only Young Once, But You Can Stay Immature Indefinitely You're Out Of Order! The Whole Trial Is Out Of Order! [And Justice For All] You're Pulling My Leg, He Said To His Blind Date When She Revealed She Was Sightless You're Pulling My Leg, He Uttered As She Exclaimed: 'Yours Is The Longest I've Ever Felt' You’re So Fake Barbie Is Jealous You’re So Fake You’ve Just Won The Miss Most Protrusive Bosom Contest 221
You're So Free Of The Ravages Of Intelligence [Time Bandits] You're Stuck With Your Debt If You Can't ‘Budge It’ Or Bail You're Surely Much, Much Worse Than People Say You're The Dumbest Smart Person I've Ever Met [I, Robot] You're The Guy Who'll Decide Where To Go [Dr. Seuss] You're The Son Of A 1000 Fathers, All Bastards Just Like You [The Good, Bad & Ugly] You're Toast You're Too Beautiful To Ignore, Too Much Woman [Star Trek] You're Too Good For Him - No Wonder You Go Home Alone [Lady's Room Mirror Signs] You're Truly Married When You Understands Every Word Your Wife Is NOT Saying You're Unique! - Just Like Everyone Else! [Mr. Rogers?] You're Very Good, I Can Use You On My Staff - I'm Not Going Anywhere Near Your Staff You're What Ate You You're What You Eat You're What You Eat, & Who Wants To Be A Lettuce? [Peter Burns] You're What You Eat, Eat Garlic ... Be A Hermit [Franklin P. Jones] You're What You Is. You Is What You Am. A Cow Don't Make Ham You're What You Think About All Day Long [Robert Schuller] You're You. Now, Isn't That Pleasant? [Dr. Seuss] Youth Doesn't Excuse Everything [Star Trek] Youth Is Overflowing, How About A Fountain Of Smart? Youth Is Quality That If You Have It, You Never Lose It [Frank Lloyd Wright] Youth Is Stranger Than Fiction Youth Is Wasted On The Young Youth Knows The Rules, Age Knows The Exceptions Youth Smouttttth, We Need A Fountain Of ‘Smart’! Youth With A Goal Is A Gopher! Youth Without A Goal Is A Goat! You've Been A Bad Boy! Now Go To MY Room! You've Got A Tiger By The Tail [Tigersharks] You've Got All The Curves, & I've Got All The Angles You’ve Got Rocks In Your Head You've Got To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs Before You Find Your Handsome Prince You've Got To Take The Bitter With The Sour [Samuel Goldwyn] You've Gotten Over-The-Hill When You Can’t Get Over The Hill You’ve Made Your Bed, But Remember You Crumb, Crack-ers Make You Itch & Her Rich You’ve Made Your Bed, Now Lie In It & She’ll Never Let You Sleep You’ve Made Your Bed, Now Sleep In It You’ve Made Your Bed, You’ll Have To Lie In It You've No Idea Of Poor Opinion I Have Of Myself, & How Little I Deserve It [W.S. Gilbert] You've Seen One Sailors Anchor, You've Seen 'Em All [Mae West A La NCIS] Yowza, Yowza, Yowza [Happy Days] Yule Is The Chaldee/Babylonian Name For 'Infant' Or 'Little Child' Yuletide Morphed Into Christmastide Yum Kippur: Forgive Me, God, For The Mercedes & All The Lobsters [Haiku] Yum Kipper War 222
Yummy In The Tummy Yummy Kipper Yummy Mummy [UK] Yummy Sushi Yummy Yogurt Yuppie Yuppie Puppy Yuppification Yuputka, Creepy Crawly Feeling On One's Skin At Night In Nicaraguan Forest Yutz, Yiddishe For Clutz, Ditz, Dumkoft, Nincompoop, Ninny, Twit = A Fool
Z Z Is A Zig Zag Letter Z-Lister Zaftig, See Zoftig Zap Your Zits With Zinc [Bumpy Boo] Zedonk, A Cross Between A Donkey & A Zebra, A Very Cross Zebra! Zen & The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance, An Inquiry Into Values [Robert M. Pirsig] Zen Master Told Me, "Do The Opposite Of Whatever I Tell You," So I Didn't! Zeno Of Citium, Stoically Achieved Happiness By Submission To Destiny [Circa 335-263 BC] Zeno Of Elea, Excogitated Paradoxes That Motion & Change Are Illusory [Circa 495-430 BC] Zeno Of Phobic, Hated Letter X So Singleheadedly Invented Zenophobia [Circa Twilight Xone] Zenophobia, The Irrational Fear Of Convergent Sequences Zenophobic 1, Illiterate For Xenophobic - Fear Of Submissive Happiness &Paradoxes Zenophobic 2, For X-Filers - Abnormal Fear Or Hatred Of The Strange Or Foreign Zero Zero Calorie Equal® Has Four Calories Zero Calorie Products Have Up To Five Calories [FDA Rules & Regulations] Zero Coupon Bond Zero Coupon Bonds Do Have Zero Useable Calories Or We’ll Eat Their Words Zero Coupon Security Zero Defects Zero Deficit Zero Fat Lunchmeat Has Up To Five Grams [FDA Rules & Regulations] Zero Growth Zero Hour Zero In Zero Intellect Zero Point Zero Population Growth Zero Rate Zero Sum Zero Sum Game Zero Tolerance Zeroed Out Zeroth 223
Zeroth Law Of Thermodynamics Zesty Dish Becomes Zestier By Using Zester To Add Zest, Lemon Or Orange Zeus To Narcissus: Watch Yourself! Zevel Ze Zevel (Israel) - Crap Is Crap (US) [Ziva - NCIS] Zhaghzhagh, Frigid Or Enraged Persian's Chattering Of Teeth Zigged Before You Zagged Zillion, Hyperbole For A Very Large But Indefinite Number Zillions Say Alcoholism Is A Disease, ‘Not Many Of Them Believe It’ [Mercedes McCambridge] Zilpzalps* Zinger, A Zapped Up Singer Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Days, Can't Opem Yo Mouf Widout A Song Jumpin Out! [Uncle Remus] Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Ay Zip By Zip File Zip Gun Zip It Zip Your Fly Zip Your Lip Zipped Open Zipped Up Zipperhead & Zip, For Asian As Used In Films 'Full Metal Jacket' & 'Gran Torino' Zippity-Zow - It’s Grand & HOW [Grape-Nuts Flakes] Zippo Zippo Lighter Zippy Is A Pinhead Without A Purpose, But Never Pointless! Ziva Claims To Speak, ‘Including The Language Of Love', Ten Languages [NCIS] Zodiacal Constellations Zodiacal Light Zoftig Actresses Were Popular A Generation Ago Or Two Zoftig Is Yiddish For A Pleasingly Plump, Buxom, Full-Figured Female Zoftig Yenta Zoiks!! Zoinks! Zowers-Bowsers! [Screech, Shaggy & Gadget Boy] Zombi Spirit Zombie Spirit Zone Fire Zone Of Interior Zonked Zonked Out Zoolatry Zoophilia Zoophobia Zoopsia Zoom Along Zoom In Zoophobia - Fear Of Animals In & Out Of Zoos Zoot Shooters 224
Zoot Suit Zuider Zee Zygote Is Gamete's Way Of Producing More Gamete
Postscript One Fine Morning, In The Middle Of Night, Two Dead Brothers Got Up To Fight Back-To-Back They Faced Each Other, Each Drew Sword & Shot His Brother Deaf Cop Hearing a Vexing Noise, Ran Up To The Cellar Blasting Them Boys Back-To-Back & Tummy-To-Tummy, They’re Deader Now Than Any Mummy If You Don't Believe My Lies Are True, Ask The Blind Man -- He Saw It Too!
OXY BEGAN Slurping In Volume 1 of 3 (A-F) http://www.scribd.com/doc/37742093/Morons-Guide-to-Oxymorons-A-F-Vol-1-as-told-by-Oxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson
& Volume 2 of 3 (G-N) http://www.scribd.com/doc/94637818/Morons-Guide-to-Oxymorons-G-N-Vol-2-as-told-by-Oxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson
*See Morons Oxymoronic Guide To And For The Birds, as told by Oxy to Barry J. Lipson http://www.scribd.com/doc/38610196/Morons-Oxymoronic-Guide-To-And-For-The-BIRDS-as-told-byOxy-to-Barry-J-Lipson-Addendum-To-Morons-Guide-To-Oxymorons
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For More Graphics See Oxy’s Pictorial Oxymania Series 227